Alpha's Mate
by KaiaLuna
Summary: Sam imprints on an emotionally damaged Bella when she moves to Forks to live with Charlie.  RATED M FOR A REASON!
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by extreme lemons or violence.**

**Please be gentle with your reviews. This is my first ever story.**

I hugged my mother tightly, I would miss her but this was the right choice. I needed to go, I needed to start fresh somewhere. I needed more than she could give me. Our roles had always been reversed, I the mother and she the irresponsible daughter but I was broken now, I couldn't take care of her, I needed to take care of myself and she had Phil now. He would take care of her. With this thought I hugged my stepfather, he was a good man, he loved her and would be sure she was happy but he couldn't help me. Hell he was younger than my mother and had no kids of his own, he didn't know how to be a parent and yet he was one, perhaps more than my mother who was more friend than parent. It was because of him I was now boarding a plane to fly to Forks to live with my father. It was an idea my mother had rejected at first until Phil had spoken to her. Late one night I had run into him in the kitchen, neither of us having been able to sleep.

"_You alright Bella?" he asked concerned as he handed me the chocolate milk._

"_Sure." I shrugged._

_He hesitated but continued, "I think you and your mom will like Jacksonville."_

_I sighed, "its not about moving Phil."_

"_You know I don't know anything about being a parent, but I care about you kid. You know I want you with Renee and I don't you?"_

_I looked up at him surprised; did he think I didn't like him? "I know Phil, and I don't exactly need a parent but you are pretty good at this father thing." I tried to reassure him, the idea to leave them wasn't about him, it was me, and a little bit her, "Mom misses you when you're gone."_

"_She'll miss you more."_

"_Maybe" I shrugged, its not that I ever doubted my mothers love for me, just that I knew how much she loved him._

_Phil was quiet for a minute but I could tell he had more to say so I leaned on the stool and waited for him to continue._

"_You haven't been happy Bella."_

"_Its not you Phil. I'm glad she found you."_

"_But it's something."_

"_Yes."_

"_It might be better in Jacksonville, having a fresh start."_

"_Its not enough." I wanted to tell him I didn't feel safe, that I was lost inside myself and needed to leave everything. It was selfish; I wanted to separate myself from everyone and everything I knew, to start fresh, to be free. How could I tell him I loved them and I knew they loved me but that it was suffocating me?_

"_You really need this."_

_It was more a statement then a question but I nodded any ways, it was only later I realized he said needed and not wanted. He understood, I didn't want to leave my mother, to leave the warmth and sun for the cold, grey rain, I didn't want to feel like this, but I did and so I needed this._

_The next afternoon my mother came to tell me she had called Charlie and talked to him about my living there. He had been thrilled. My mother hugged me to her and cried but we didn't say anything else about it. Not then and not since, at least not until today. _

Today she asked me a thousand times, was I sure I wanted to do this? Telling me over and over I didn't have to, that she and Phil wanted me with them. I hugged her to me and lied, telling her I wanted this. Phil said nothing. He hugged me and handed me a credit card and a cell phone, told me he loved me. I told him the same. He knew I didn't want this, I needed it, he understood so he comforted my mother and said nothing more.

I hugged them both again before going through security and boarding the plane. I closed my eyes and listened to my iPod the whole way, trying hard not to think. When we landed in Seattle I had to change planes to go on to Port Angeles where my father was to pick me up. It had been a long time since I had seen him, longer still since I had spent any amount of time with him.

He looked the same as I remembered. He was tall, broad shouldered, thick brown hair and a trimmed mustache. He smiled as soon as he saw me and pulled me into a hug before quickly pulling back and taking my bag.

He asked about my flight but little else. He was a quiet man, he felt no need to fill every silence and for that I was grateful. I knew he had questions about why I was there, why now, I supposed he believed it was to give my mom and Phil time to themselves, whatever the reason I was glad he didn't ask, didn't pry into my life at all, at least not to anything below the surface.

When we arrived I noticed an old truck in the drive. "Had Charlie finally bought a car other than the cruiser, if so why did he use it to pick me up? Or did he have guests? Did Charlie have a girlfriend? I realized then how little I really knew about my father.

"It's old I know, but it runs good." Charlie motioned to the truck as he went to the back to get my bag from the trunk.

"It's a nice truck." I told him taking my carry on and heading up to the house.

"Yeah well I knew you'd need something to get around in so when Billy said he'd sell it to me cheap I figured it'd make a good homecoming gift." His voice was gruff and he didn't look at me when he spoke. I shot a look to him and back to the truck.

"Its for me?"

"Yeah." Charlie shrugged and passed me into the house.

"Thank you." I told him as I followed him in and up to my room.

"Thought we'd go to the diner for dinner later if you aren't to tired." Charlie said after setting my suitcase in my room.

"That sounds good." I smiled at him.

"Ok, well come down when you are ready to." With that he left. I was grateful he didn't hover.

I spent the next few days getting settled. I was sure Charlie and I would get on well. We were both quiet and independent. It was easy to settle into a routine together. Finally it was Monday and I was going to start school. Great. Note the sarcasm. New school in the middle of the last semester of the year, not just any year but senior year, this was not going to be fun.

I rolled out of bed and pulled on a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, a black tank edged in lace and a grey zippered hoody, then I ran a brush through my long brown hair and slipped into my black converse. Charlie had already left for work so I just grabbed a pop tart and headed out to my truck.

The school was down the highway a short ways a way. The parking lot was still empty when I arrived. I pulled into a spot and went to the office to get my schedule, grateful that years of extra summer programs had put me ahead and I needed few credits to graduate so my semester was light. AP English, History, Art, Biology and PE. Stupid Forks, why on earth was phys ed. mandatory every year, I hated sports and worse, they hated me, my coordination was nonexistent I mean I could fall over nothing walking down a straight, even road ask me to run and pay attention to a ball, that shit just wasn't happening.

By the time I left with my schedule the school was teaming with people, all of who stared as I walked by.

"Hi, I'm Erik. You must be Isabella." The boy sounded overly helpful and nice, sort of nerdy but not shy, chess club type nerdy, more like the semi-popular, nice to everyone always happy type.

"Bella." I said, smiling back at him.

"What class do you have?"

"AP English."

"Sweet, me too. Come on I'll walk you in I just need to toss this in my locker." He said holding up his bag.

The day went by fast, much more so than I thought it would. I even made a few friends. Angela was the one I liked the best, she seemed the most genuine and nice. Asides from her and Erik there was Jessica who was a little fake, one of those bubbly, gossipy cheerleader types, Lauren was her best friend, she was more bitchy gossipy cheerleader type. Tyler was a typical jock but a total laugh and then there was his best friend Mike Newton who was overly friendly but not in the sweet just trying to be helpful and nice way Erik was, he was more flirty and pushy in a shy eager puppy type way.

I had at least one of them in all my classes so we sat together in class and at lunch, by the end of the day I was comfortable with all of them, by the end of the week, which went as surprisingly fast as the first day, I thought of them as friends. We had even made plans to hang out and go to a bonfire on Saturday.

Friday night I was going to dinner at Billy Blacks, Charlie's best friend. Apparently I used to play with his kids. Both his daughters had gone away to school and one of them married but his son still lived in La Push. I vaguely remembered the girls from summers past. Mostly I remembered playing with Jake, he was a small scrawny kid, quick to smile, who his sisters teased mercilessly. We made mud pies and sand castles together. He had been my closest if not my only friend here as a kid.

After school I went home and made cookies to bring to the Black's while I did my homework and waited for Charlie. He came in at quarter to six calling out as he went up to change that we were leaving in five minutes. I closed my books and started putting the cookies in a Tupperware.

The drive to La Push was quicker then I thought, the small red house pulled at my memories. The front door had opened and a man sat in a wheel chair waiting for us.

"Bells you remember Billy." Charlie said as we mounted the steps of the porch.

"Sure, yeah, how are you Billy?"

"Good Bella. How are you? Settling in ok? Your dad was so excited you were coming out."

"Yeah, everything is good." I told him following him inside.

"You remember Jake." I had followed him inside at this point so I looked up to see Jake standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Jake?"

"Hey Bella."

"Oh my god, you are so different." I let my eyes wander over Jake, long gone was the scrawny kid I remembered. This Jake was huge. He had to be over six foot and was all muscle.

Jake laughed, "You too."

"Yeah I guess." I laughed; of course we had changed it had been years since I had been here. "How old are you now?"

"Seventeen, you turned eighteen this year right?"

"Yeah, back in September."

"Cool, cool." He was eyeing the container in my hands now. "Did you make something?"

"Oh I just made up a batch of cookies real quick, nothing special."

"Cookies, yum." Jake reached over and took the tub leading the way into the kitchen. After we all ate, Jake and I sat and talked while the two old timers sat in the living room and watched whatever game was on. He was easy to be around, like our friendship had never wavered over the years even though it had been so long since we had been together or even talked.

I hugged him as we left later, grateful to have my friend back.

"Um so Bells, we are having a bonfire at first beach tomorrow if you want to hang out?" Jake asked as we headed out.

I grinned at him, "I know some of the kids from my school are going and invited me along. I take it I will see you there?"

"Yeah" he grinned back at me. "Come over early if you want."

"Thanks Jake. I'll see you tomorrow." I waved and got in the cruiser next to Charlie.

The next day I got up early and did the laundry and some cleaning before finishing my homework. After lunch I went to Mike's place to watch a movie with everyone and hang out before heading to the beach. We stopped at the diner to eat and finally drove out to the reservation. I looked around for Jacob when we got there but he was nowhere in sight, I thought about walking over to his place but decided to go with the others to see the tide pools before it got dark instead.

When we got back the fire had started. I saw Jake standing with some people so excused myself and went over, hugging him from behind. "Hey Jake."

"Hey Bells." Jake pulled away and turned around only to pull me into a bear hug that nearly cracked my ribs.

"Jake. Need. Air." He set me down laughing.

"Sorry Bells."

"Sure, sure." I laughed with him.

"Hi," I smiled over at the group standing with Jake.

"This is Bella Swan." He told them, his arm wrapped securely around my shoulders. I realized how warm Jake was, he just seemed to be radiating heat.

"These are the guys, that's Sam, Jared, his girl Kim, Leah, her brother Seth, Quil and Embry."

I looked over to who he was pointing to and met the darkest pools of liquid chocolate eyes, I felt like I was drowning in their warm depths and suddenly felt the urge to step forward, closer to him, like his eyes were drawing me forwards a moth to a flame. As soon as I felt the urge I stamped it down and forced myself to look away to the others Jake was introducing. Mentally cursing myself to my reaction and refusing to meet any of the others eyes.

"Hi" Quil raised his eyebrows slightly in a flirtatious manner, making me blush and look away, when Jake got to him. I quickly scanned them all again avoiding looking at the first, Sam. Like Jake they were all really tan and fit. I'd bet under their fitted shirts they all had eight packs. _Down Bella, do not start drooling over Jake's friends._ I looked at Kim and Leah. Kim was really pretty with longish black hair and big eyes; she was curled into Jared, their arms around each other. Leah was beautiful, tall and lithe with cropped straight black hair and high cheekbones she looked regal and exotic and hella intimidating with her angry scowl.

"How do you like living here?" Kim asked smiling at me.

"It's alright. Colder than I'm used to but everyone is really nice." I told her smiling back she seemed genuinely nice.

"Hey dude, you're late!" One of the guys suddenly called out. Embry I thought.

"Whatever." The guy shrugged as he and a third girl joined the circle.

"This is Paul and his girl Emily." Jake told me before turning to them, "This is Bella. Chief Swans daughter." He told them.

Paul was good looking, as they all seemed to be, tall and muscular, I mean really what was in the water down here? The woman at his side was petite, shorter even than Kim and I; the top of her head was just under his shoulder. She had soft features and a sweet smile with long straight hair falling around her She was easily the prettiest except for three parallel scars running down the side of her face.

Paul glared at me when Jake introduced us and leaned down to kiss one of the scars.

Emily sighed happily before focusing on me, "Its nice to meet you Bella. Jake told us you were coming. How are you finding the move?"

"Good. I started school on Monday and made some friends so I'm pretty well settled in. And now I have Jake again so it all feels a little less foreign."

I felt Jake's arm tighten around my shoulder and smiled up at him. He was grinning back happily.

"Hey Bella!" I heard someone calling my name and turned to see Tyler waving me over.

"I better get back to the others. It was nice meeting all of you." I told them turning back to Jake, "Come find me later ok? Charlie wants me to stay with you and Billy instead of driving back tonight."

"Sure, sure." He let his arm fall from around my shoulders and I walked around the bonfire towards the gang from Forks. I felt a pang of sadness and looked back to Jake and his friends. Jake was heading towards the cliff with one of the guys, the others were laughing amongst themselves.

I pushed away the odd feeling and hurried towards my circle of friends. We sat and talked for a while, laughing. A few people had already gone home and others were hinting of going when Jake came over.

"Hey Bells. You ready to head out?"

"Yeah." I let him help me to my feet and said my goodbyes to the others as they to got up to leave. While we walked Jake was quiet, I couldn't help but wonder what was bothering him.

"What's up Jake?"

"Huh. Oh nothing Bells." Jake shrugged and continued walking, so I grabbed his arm to still him.

"Jake? Tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong Bells. Everything is great actually."

"So why don't you seem happy?"

"Just worried for a friend is all, but I know it'll all be fine." He tells me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling me forward, "It's all good Bells, I promise."

He seemed honest enough and as soon as he said it his mood seemed to lighten again and he started to tell me about the bike he was fixing up now that he had finished building his rabbit and how he fixed up cars on the res for extra cash. I don't know anything about cars but listening to Jake talk about them made it sound interesting. Turns out he, Quil and Embry wanted to open up shop on the res when they finished school. Quil would do the books, while he and Embry focused on the cars. This led to what the other guys did or planned to do. "Embry and Quil are with me in eleventh, Paul, Jared and Kim are seniors like you, Seth is sixteen so he's in tenth year. Leah graduated last year now she works part-time at her mom's diner. Emily is the same age as her, their cousins actually and she works part-time at the bakery. Sam does construction work, though really the guy fixes almost everything. Paul and Jared work for him sometimes too. And Collin and Brady are grounded but you'll meet them soon, they are only in ninth."

"They all seem very nice." I told him, though it wasn't exactly true, both Paul and Leah had glared unhappily at me, Jared had mainly ignored me while Sam had stared with a look I couldn't read but that burned my skin.

"Sure, sure." Jake laughed, "They are great, we are just sort of an odd group. They'll open up more next time you meet them."

By this time we had reached the house, I followed Jake upstairs where he disappeared and came back with one of his shirts and a pair of shorts for me to sleep in. he showed me to his sisters' old room and left me after kissing my forehead. "Night Bells. I'm really glad you're here."

"Me too Jake. Night."

That night was one of few I had without nightmares but my dreams were no less odd. I dreamt of a large black wolf with chocolate and caramel eyes. He was standing in the tree line of the forest just watching me. I felt the need to walk over to him but something kept me rooted to my spot, paralyzed with fear, but not fear of the wolf exactly.


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by extreme lemons or violence.**

**Please be gentle with your reviews. This is my first ever story.**

The next morning I made Jake and Billy breakfast to thank them for having me over. Billy was going fishing with Charlie so Jake and I decided to hang out for the day.

We went out to his garage and listened to music, talking while he worked on his motorbike.

It was not long after lunch that his friends joined us.

"Hey Jake!" One of them called to the open garage. I peeked out to see four of the guys from last night coming towards us.

"What's up?" he called, going to the open door to meet them as they came up,

"Want to go cliff diving?"

"Hell yeah." He looked over at me, his grin faltering a little "What do you think Bells?"

"Sure, sure. Sounds like fun."

"We don't have to go, we can just hang out here."

"No, really I've never been before."

"Cool. Do you need a suit? Kim has extras." Jared shot me a friendly grin. I was a little surprised since he had seemed a bit distant or rather indifferent to me the night before.

"That'd be great if you don't think she'll mind."

"Nah, come on, we're going to get her now." We followed Jared to Kim's house. She opened the door and he immediately pulled her into his arms for a kiss. Then asked her about lending me a suit. She blushed from the kiss and said hi to the guys before turning to me.

"Of course you can borrow one, come on in and change, the boys will wait out here for us."

"Are you sure you don't mind?" I asked following her into the cute two-story house.

"Of course not, you might be a little bigger than me up top but I think we're pretty close." She said leading me into the back where he room was.

She immediately went to her dresser to pull out a suit, "Here this one should fit. And here is a skirt to put over it so you don't have to wear your jeans."

"Thanks so much Kim."

"No worries, I'm sure you'd lend me if it were reversed." She smiled warmly at me, "You ever been cliff jumping before?"

"No, but it sounds like fun, scary but fun."

"It is. I always jump with Jared and the first jump I make him carry me because I can't force my feet to go, no matter how many times we do it, the first jump always scares me, I love it though." She laughed now standing in the hall waiting for me.

I pulled on the suit; it was a dark red two-piece. The girls were pushed up and together in the halter-top but at least it wasn't string, I might have fallen out of one of those. The bottoms fit perfect. I pulled my shirt on back over it along with the jean mini Kim had set out for me. I pulled open the door and followed her back outside leaving my jeans, bra and panties folded neatly on the chair in her room.

The guys sprung up from the lawn when we came out. Kim walking straight into Jared's arms who leaned down and kissed her. I wondered what it would be like to have someone look at me like that, to love me so much. I shook my head to expel the thoughts as soon as they entered my head; that was exactly what I didn't want, to fall in love, to belong to someone else. No, that was exactly what I didn't want.

We trekked up the path to the cliff where the others were waiting for us. Damn these boys were hot; they all had freaking eight packs. One toned stomach caught my interest the most, Sam. The man was seriously sexy his bronze skin looked soft like silk pulled over the steel of his muscles, his mouth was full and curved into a smile revealing his perfect straight white teeth, his nose was straight and his eyes, his eyes were pools of liquid dark chocolate with a little caramel along the outside. They were warm and inviting, strong, commanding, gentle and caring.

FUCK! I was staring into his eyes again and like the night before I wanted to step closer to him, to touch him, to be wrapped in his arms. FUCK! I mentally screamed at myself to look away. I steeled my spine and forced myself to promise not to look at him again. I would not fall victim to those eyes. I would not make a fool of myself by walking over and running my fingers along his high, well-defined cheekbones and along his rippled abs. I wondered how long I had stared at him as I noticed Kim had stripped down to her suit and the others had spread out laughing and talking amongst themselves.

I forced myself to move away from his gaze towards Kim. Quil and Jake play fought trying to push each other over. Embry ran into Jake, helping Quil sending Jake over. Then they gave a shout and jumped together.

"Nervous Bella?"

"A little."

"Don't worry it's safe." Jared smiled over at me pulling Kim to her feet.

"Yeah Bella its fun." Seth called doing a flip off the cliff.

I laughed as I went to look over the cliff.

"I'll go with you." It was the first I had really heard his voice, it was rough, low and sexy, it made my toes tingle.

"It helps. Like I said, J always jumps with me." Kim said coming up beside me.

"Always." Jared leaned down and kissed her temple before pulling her into his arms her legs automatically wrapped around his waist and her head turned into his neck as he jumped off the cliff.

"You ready." I glanced nervously back at Sam.

"Um…"

"You don't have to do it. Hell Paul doesn't even like Emily jumping."

"No, I want to. Maybe I should wait for Jake to come up though."

I saw hurt flicker across his face but it was gone in a flash and I wasn't sure I hadn't imagined it, "I won't bite."

I laughed nervously blushing and looked over the cliff again to avoid his penetrating gaze. Hell jumping was better than staying here alone with him; this was way more dangerous, "Ok." I turned back to him moving away from the edge and smiled uncertainly.

"Do you want to jump or do you want me to carry you like Jared and Kim?" Sam asked stepping closer.

"Um…"did I want to be wrapped in his arms, _hell yes_ my body screamed, _fuck no_, my mind screeched back.

Sam smiled at me and slowly reached out his hand, wrapping his fingers around my arm and pulling me closer to him. He bent and whispered into my ear, "Relax Bells." When I didn't pull away he wrapped his arms around me. My head was screaming at me but my body was frozen in his warm embrace, it felt so good, so right. My mind took a vacation as my arms slid up and around his neck, one of his hands slipped lower, along my ass as he stood, lifting me, My legs wrapped around his body. "Hold on tight, Baby-girl," he whispered stepping back.

Two swift strides forward and we were in the air, soaring off the cliff. I tightened my hold on him as we fell. My heart skipped in my chest as the wind whistled in my ears but I felt oddly safe. "Take a deep breath." Sam called in my ear. I pulled one in and held it as we crashed into the water. We sank for a second before letting go and swimming to the surface. I looked back up at the cliff with a huge grin, damn it was high and I had just jumped off it. Well I had been carried off it but still. It had been awesome.

I could hear Sam laughing as he tread water near me, "I take it you liked it?"

"Yeah, that was amazing." I grinned back at him before starting to swim towards shore.

We all headed up to jump again. This time I asked Jake to hold my hand, for a second there was a twinge in my heart, wanting to ask Sam but my mind was working again and I steeled myself against the idea. It was so thrilling, I got a huge rush jumping but part of me wanted to be in Sam's arms again where it felt so safe. We jumped a third time and this time I ran straight over, alone as soon as we reached the top. Kim and Jared following, their hands held tight. The boys went to jump again while Kim and I stayed on the beach wrapped in towels one of the guys brought. Paul had joined the group along with two younger boys I assumed to be Collin and Brady. I was proved correct when after they jumped they came over to introduce themselves. Identical twins the boys were large for their age but not as big as the other guys yet.

After a few more jumps the boys joined us on the beach to sit in the fading sun and dry off. We continued to chat for a while when Kim suggested heading back to hers to change. I waved goodbye to the others and pulled Jake into a hug. I wasn't sure but I thought a heard a soft growl, I shrugged that thought off as irrational but I felt eyes burning into me as Kim and I walked away.

"So you meet any guys you like?" Kim asked blushing and looking away. She didn't seem to be the type to pry for gossip; _she must just want to try to become better friends _I told myself.

"No," I told her, knowing as I said it I was lying, I had met Sam, and I liked him, _no you don't_ my mind screamed back at me, while my body shivered at the welcome thought of being with Sam. "I'm not really looking to be in a relationship." I told her more truthfully, "And I don't like to play around."

"Oh," she almost seemed upset by this, odd. "Did you have a boyfriend in Arizona, you had to leave?"

"Um, no, not for a while." I told her, really hoping she wouldn't pursue the topic. "How long have you and Jared been together?"

"About nine months" she blushed, "it's great. I love him so much."

"Yeah, he seems to really love you too."

"He does" she blushed again. Damn I think she might blush almost as much as I do.

"So you mostly hang out with the guys?"

"Yeah, well Emily and Leah too. My other friends sort of stopped talking to me when Jared and I got together, not that I had many, I mean I was always kind of shy so I only had a couple of girl friends."

"I know the feeling, I've always had people in school I hung around with but not many real friends. Just Jake when I was a kid and Rylan back home. Besides if they ditched you because you started dating they weren't real friends." I wondered though if that was the right of it, had they abandoned her or had Jared separated her from them?

"I know. It doesn't bother me. I'm happy with Jared and the others at least I know they are my friends."

"Yeah." I agreed, not really sure I did. I thought about how nice Kim was and how she had lost her friends because of Jared. It took my mind off the slight ache in my chest that had developed on the walk to Kim's.

We changed back at her place and said goodbye. She offered me to stay for dinner but I needed to get back to Charlie and I was suddenly not feeling well, the persistent ache in my chest leaving a tightness in my lungs. At home I quickly made fish for dinner and went to bed early. It was not a good night.

The nightmares were back. It was not new, the nightmares were just something I lived with but I had them so often it was like I was halfway numb to them. Not tonight though. Tonight I felt the terror of it all like it was the first time, like everything had just happened. I woke Charlie up screaming. He looked so worried but I convinced him I was fine. I didn't sleep the rest of the night.


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by extreme lemons or violence.**

**Please be gentle with your reviews. This is my first ever story.**

School dragged on, I was tired and the odd ache in my chest wouldn't go away. It was a long week. I comforted myself with the knowledge that it was almost over and I would be finished high school for good.

Friday I went to a movie with the kids from school, we piled into two cars and drove out to Port Angeles for dinner then saw Get Him to the Greek, it was hilarious, all the way back we sung Furry Walls in the car.

It didn't help much. I still had nightmares that night. I'd had them all week. They didn't wake me up screaming again; instead I woke in the cold sweat I had been waking to in Phoenix, at least I wouldn't worry Charlie. It was the same horrible dreams I had lived with all year but now they were interspersed with the odd dreams about the large black wolf. The latest of which I was sitting on a large rock, my feet curled under me and the wolf lying below; I wasn't sure if the wolf was guarding me or waiting to attack me but every once in a while I would hear it emit a low growl or a soft wining noise. I felt afraid and safe at the same time.

I woke only slightly less tired on Saturday, I had dreamed of the wolf again rather than the nightmare. It left me feeling off nonetheless. It was nine-thirty, I had slept in so I hurried to shower, dress and have breakfast before Jessica came to get me. She, Angela and I were going back to Port Angeles. They wanted to get prom dresses. I being coordinately challenged had no desire to go to prom though both Mike and Erik had asked. Mike was now going with Jessica, who now that she had Mike was whining about me coming to. Angela was going with Ben who she had been crushing on, Tyler and Lauren were going together of course; they had been dating over a year though I wasn't sure how Tyler put up with her since she really was a bitch. If I let Jessica talk me into going I wonder if Jake would come, or… no I was not thinking about him, I would under no circumstances be doing anything with Sam Uley, though I had a hard time thinking of much besides his warm body wrapped by mine as he jumped the cliff and his dark chocolate and caramel eyes. What was wrong with me? I never obsessed over guys. This stupid crush needed to be squashed, yesterday! The last thing I needed was a man in my life; taking over, controlling me, using me.

I heard Jessica honk her horn out front and hurriedly grabbed my bag, calling goodbye to Charlie.

The drive was a fun one as we sang along to girly songs on the radio. We spent the rest of the morning trying on dresses and to my surprise I thoroughly enjoyed myself. We tried on some of the most outrageous dresses laughing at each other, before actually focusing on finding something nice. Jessica got a low cut and backless bright pink ankle length dress; it had glass beads embroidered on the straps and top. Angela found a long lavender dress with spaghetti straps, sweetheart top with an empire waistline, that had a beaded waistband and side draped skirt. They also convinced me to buy this beautiful dress, saying it was meant for me, it was simple and classy and I loved it. It was strapless with vertical shirring overlaying an empire waist and flared a-line knee length skirt. It was a pale almost white pink, the color of cherry blossoms with a black satin bow tied to the left side at the waist. I still wasn't sure I was going to prom but hell the girls were right every girl should have one really nice dress. Next we got shoes, Jessica found pink satin shoes that matched her dress perfectly, Angela went with strappy silver ones that matched the beading on hers, and I got a pair of black satin ones that did up with a little bow at the back of my heel. Starving we put our purchases in Jessica's car and made our way to a restaurant to eat. On the way we ran into Kim.

"Hey Kim!" I called spotting her coming out of a bookstore not far ahead.

"Oh hey Bella." She waved, smiling happily as we came up.

"This is Angela and Jessica, they go to school with me. Guys this is my friend Kim from La Push."

They exchanged hellos and we chatted for a bit until a man come out of the same bookstore and over to Angela, one who was not Jared, color me surprised.

"Oh um hi." I said as he stopped next to us.

"Oh, this is my older brother Jack, Jack this is Bella and her friends Jessica and Angela."

"Nice to meet you." He smiled warmly at us.

"You to," I tried to hide the blush, leave it to me to assume things, silly Bella.

"Well, we were just heading to get something to eat so I'll talk to you later Kim" I told her; the girls were quick to agree.

"Yeah, I'm starving exaggerated Jessica, she was smiling widely and ogling Kim's brother, he was hot but no where near as tall and built as the guys. He was kind of lanky, not skinny really just slim and well defined, really quite cute.

"Alright. Are you coming to Emily's tonight?"

"Oh, no I don't think so. Is she having people over?"

"Yeah, everyone is going to watch movies. You should come. You can even stay at my place if you want."

"Um, sure, I guess. I'll call you when I get back to Forks."

"Ok. Have fun."

"You too." I followed Jessica and Angela to a café and we got food and coffees. After our late lunch we decided to see if we could stay on our roll and look for accessories to match our outfits before going home so it was just after five when Jess dropped me back off at my house. I was tired but happy; it had been a good day. Charlie was already home and asked if I wanted to head out to the diner to eat. I was grateful; I so didn't feel like cooking. While there I remembered Kim's invitation and asked permission to spend the night. Charlie was oddly enthused at the idea.

He had asked me a few times during the week why I didn't head out to La Push, it seemed he liked me spending time around Jake and his friends, I briefly wondered if Billy and he weren't trying to play matchmaker. _Sorry dad, I have no want of a boyfriend and even if I did it wouldn't be Jake, I was way more into Sam._ I thought to myself. Of course this brought more thoughts of Sam, of his eyes and the warmth of his body pressed into mine, _damn Swan stop thinking about Sam! Right now!_ I yelled at myself trying to focus on my meal.

As soon as we got back I called Kim and asked what time I should come over, if she still wanted me to.

She happily assured me I was welcome, insisting I leave now. I laughed at her happy tone and told her I would be over as soon as I got an over night bag together.

Twenty minutes later I was sitting on her bed with her as she told me about her brother, he and her parents weren't speaking since he had moved out to Seattle to live with his boyfriend. They hadn't taken him coming out of the closet so well and they hadn't spoken in almost a year but he and Kim had always been close so she would go meet him in Port Angeles for the day once a month. She told me about his boyfriend, who was from Seattle. He would come with Jack sometimes but usually insisted the siblings needed time to themselves.

We talked until after eight when Jared came to take us to Emily and Paul's place. When we got there everyone but Seth, Collin and Brady were there.

"Hey guys." Emily called as we walked in, her greeting mirrored by the others most who didn't bother to look who came in.

"Good, everyone is here let's start the movie." Paul huffed, pulling Emily onto the chair with him.

Jared walked over to the small couch, pulling Kim into his lap as he sat. Embry and Quil were all sprawled out on the floor. That left me one spot on the bigcouch right in between Jake and Sam. _No way, bad idea._ My head screamed as my body moved forward and sat in the spot. My body seemed to sigh with relief, it wanted to lean into Sam and snuggle like the other couples were doing. I mentally shook myself, _Sam and I were not now nor would we ever be a couple! _I couldn't help but notice the ache in my chest that had plagued me all week was now gone. I forced myself to lean away from Sam and into Jake. I didn't miss the soft sigh and hurt look that crossed Sam's face as I watched him from the corner of my eye, nor did I miss the soft growl when Jake's arm came around me. _Wait growl? Did Sam Uley just growl? No, of course not, I mean men didn't growl._ I forced my attention on the screen and the movie.

I felt a tingling on my skin and glanced over at Sam. He was leaning back into the corner of the couch his eyes on me instead of the screen; I blushed and turned away, focusing back on the movie. When it ended I couldn't have said what it was about, I couldn't even recall the name of it. I had stared at the screen feeling the burning of Sam's eyes on my skin, I pretending to watch the movie while mentally repeating to myself that under no circumstances could I move to lean against him. My hand itched to reach over and take his hand, to run across his furrowed brow to remove the slight frown marring his beautiful face. I also fought the conflicting urge to get up and run as fast and as far as I could from Sam Uley and his intense stare.

"Let's make more popcorn before you put in the next." Quil suggested, looking over at Emily with big sad eyes.

"Ok," she laughed, "I also made brownies."

"Yum." Jake's stomach rumbled as he and all the guys shot up from their seats and headed into the kitchen.

We all ate a brownie, well the guys all ate three, before heading back in to the living room, each of the boys carrying a large bowl of popcorn. I went to the bathroom while they started the movie. When I came out everyone had changed spots. Jared and Kim now sat in the chair where Emily and Paul had sat. Quil was on the floor lying on the floor again, Embry was putting in the movie and I didn't see either Jake or Sam. Emily was lying down on the couch against Paul. So I went over to the empty smaller couch and sat down. The lights went out as Jake and Sam came in and the film started. Embry lifted Emily's feet and sat at the end of the long couch with her and Paul. I expected Jake to sit next to me but he came and sat on the floor, his back leaning against the couch where I sat instead. I let my hand rest on his shoulder as I watched the film.

Once more I could feel the tingles of Sam's gaze on me and after a few minutes he came to sit beside me. I moved my feet to give him more room but his hand came down to rest on them and keep them in place against his leg. His hand was almost hot against my cold toes and while my mind still screamed to get up and run but my whole body felt relaxed and content.

About halfway through the film I must have fallen asleep because I woke up slightly to someone picking me up. Sam. I knew right away it was Sam. My tired mind was no match for my needy body so it didn't put up a fight at all as my arms snaked around him and I snuggled my face into his warm neck.

"Hmmm, can walk Sam" I mumbled, trying to snuggle closer to him.

He laughed, it was a quiet laugh but rich and deep, it sent a warm thrill through me, "I know, Baby-girl but I'll carry you just the same if it's ok."

"Uh huh" was my brilliant reply.

Sam chucked again and pushed a door open with his foot. " We at Kim's already? I asked wishing he could just hold me all night.

"No, we are in Paul's spare room, Kim and Jared are in the room next door. The others left."

"Oh, ok. Thank Em and Paul."

"I will. You sleep."

"Mm Kay" I breathed him in as he leaned over to set me on the bed. Damn he smelled good, like the forest after it rained.

"Here, you can put this on to sleep." He set a shirt on the bed next to me and I felt his hand run over my forehead and the top of my head. "Night Bells."

"Night Sam. Thank you." I waited till he left before standing to tug off my jeans, top and bra. I left on my panties and pulled on the t-shirt. It smelled like Sam and was still warm from his skin. He had literally given me the shirt off his back. The thought made me giggle as I lay back down to sleep. I had no nightmares that night. In fact I didn't dream at all. I woke up to the strings of light through the curtains, it was sometime in the early morning. The whole house was quiet so I continued to lie there and let my mind wander.

Sam had called me Baby-girl last night; in fact I was pretty sure he called me that before jumping the cliff as well. He had given me the shirt off his back and run his hand tenderly across my head. He was always watching me. I was pretty sure I had heard him growl. He was hot, not sexy hot, well he was sexy but he was also hot, like he ran a fever, come to think of it so were Jacob and the other guys. They were all so tall and buff too. There was something off about Sam and the others, I was sure of this. I was also very sure I needed to stay as far away from the sexy and mysterious Sam Uley and the odd feelings of need and longing he created in me.

I heard movement outside my room so I stood up and pulled on my jeans going out to investigate. I found Emily in the kitchen starting breakfast so I offered help. Not long after Kim joined us and we were talking happily on our second cups of coffee with huge platters of eggs, bacon and toast waiting when the boys came in. Immediately I felt Sam's heated gaze on me.

"So what do you want to do today, Bella?" Jared asked picking Kim up from her seat and sitting down with her in his lap. He was always doing that, pulling her into him, touching her, moving her where he wanted her.

"Bella?" Kim asked frowning at me. I realized I had let my own eyebrows come together as I thought and ignored Jared's question.

"Oh um I'm not sure." I reminded myself of my earlier resolve to stay away from all things Sam Uley "I think I'll just head home after breakfast. I have homework to do and finals are coming up."

"Oh, I was hoping we could hang out today." Kim pouted prettily at me.

I laughed tossing a bit of bacon at her, "I really need to study, but lets do something during the week, we can have a girls night at mine or something." I mentally commended myself for my brilliancy at spending time with her, without the boys and thus without Sam. I hated that the idea sent a twinge of pain and guilt through my heart but I forced it away.

Kim giggled, "Sounds good, we can eat junk and gossip about the boys."

"Perfect," I grinned back at her before turning to Emily, I didn't want her to feel left out, Leah either though I hadn't really talked to her much, and when I did see her she always seemed angry "You and Leah should come too Emily."

"Yeah, to bad it can't be a slumber party." Kim's smile dropped a little.

"Why not? We'll do it Friday."

"That sounds good. I should do homework today to anyways."

"Really? Want to come do it at my place?"

"That's a great idea." Kim jumped up from Jared's lap. "I'm going to run home and shower then we can go."

I laughed and got up to follow her, "all my stuff is at your place remember, I was going to sleep there."

"Right, come on." Kim grabbed my hand and leaned over to kiss Jared before leading me out of the house, waving goodbye to the others.

"See you on Friday!" Emily called after us.

"Bye Em, thanks for letting me crash." It wasn't until I was in the bathroom at Kim's to shower that I realized I was still wearing the t-shirt from Sam. We would have to drop it off on our way to Forks when I picked up my own clothes from Emily.

All the guys were gone when we got back so I ran up and put last night's top in my bag. We sat and talked with Emily a few minutes before leaving her to her cooking. I left Sam's shirt folded on the back of the couch, part of me wanting to take it home to sleep in again.

Kim and I studied a couple hours before she went home. It was a Sunday thing in her family, they would all go home early and cook together and have a big family meal. It seemed sweet to me. I decided to make lasagna for dinner and set to work after she left so I could make the bolognaise sauce from scratch. I made sure to make extra to put in the freezer so I could do quick pasta one night when I didn't feel like cooking.

After dinner I went up to my room to email Renee and Phil. I also sent a long email to Rylan. I wanted to tell him all about Sam but I found myself editing things, like the growl or the heat of his skin. Instead I just told him how good looking Sam was and how he made me feel. I told Rylan how scared I was of myself and how much I wanted to be near him, like my body was drawn to him by some outside source while my head was still screaming be careful, don't go there. I knew Rylan would understand. He always understood. The other good thing about Ry, he never asked questions I didn't want to answer and if he accidently stumbled across one he let my lack of answer go without comment. I knew he had his own secrets so I tried to do the same for him. To be the same kind of support he was to me.

I went to bed early but I wasn't so lucky as the night before. Tonight my dreams were different, scary and unsettling. I dreamt Kim had a handcuff on one wrist; the chain was long and linked to one of Jared's wrists. Every time he moved he pulled Kim with him, leading her in the direction he wanted to take. Then I saw Paul step up beside Jared, he was linked to Emily the same as Jared to Kim and they both tugged and pulled the girls where they wanted them. I dreamt of the black wolf growling as we ran through the woods. He was pushing me forward, driving me to where he wanted me to go, keeping me from turning. I woke up in a cold sweat. Outside I heard a wolf howl and shivered, pulling the blankets tighter around me. I didn't go back to sleep that night.


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by extreme lemons or violence.**

**Please be gentle with your reviews. This is my first ever story.**

**Thank you so much for the reviews and adding me to you favorites or story alerts **** I will update as often as I can.**

The ache was back in my chest this week but thankfully after Sunday night the dreams faded back again. Sooner then I thought Friday came and the girls were at my house. We rented girly movies and ordered pizza. We ate junk food and talked about everything and anything. I was pleasantly surprised that Leah was really a nice girl. I had been afraid she was like Lauren but once you get past her initial grumpy façade she was really funny and great to hang out with. We all fell asleep in the living room late into the night.

When we woke up we went to the diner for breakfast and when during an odd conversation about things that were mini, Kim randomly said we should go miniature golfing it was agreed we would do that. Like with all things requiring coordination I sucked. Leah used a bit too much strength so she wasn't much better then me. Kim and Emily were both pretty good so it was Kim and I against the cousins. They beat us but only by one point. After we grabbed lunch and the girls decided we should head to the beach since it was surprisingly warm again this weekend.

I didn't even think as I ran inside and changed into my bathing suit, running out to meet the girls again. Leah came with me in my truck since Emily had driven them all over in her car.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid Bella_, I admonished myself as we saw several very large forms running around on the beach with a football. Of course it was the guys. My eyes immediately sought out Sam and I breathed a sigh of disappointment when I didn't see him, _relief Bella, it was relief damnit_. I told myself as we joined, Jake, Embry, Quil and Seth.

Jake came over and folded into the sand next to me, "Charlie's at mine, you and he are invited to dinner."

"Great." I told him, leaning my head against his shoulder. Annoyed that my voice came out kind of sad. _Shit, I was not missing Samuel Uley! I didn't even know him! Stop being so ridiculous Bella you are not pining over a guy, you will not let one man rule your life, your decisions or your happiness!_ With that mental rant, I lifted my head and spoke again, "We should hang out soon, Jake, just us."

"Sure, sure Bells." He slung his arm around my shoulder, "So what did you girls do today?"

With that I told him all about our day miniature golfing. Before I knew it, it was time to go back to Jake's place. I saw Jared, Collin and Brady had arrived while I was talking to Jake. I waved goodbye to them all as we headed off. On the cliff I thought I caught sight of a large black wolf. I shivered and told myself I was being ridiculous, it was likely just an odd shadow or something, there was no way a large black wolf was watching me from the woods around the cliff, it was my imagination from that stupid dream. I pushed back the odd feeling in my gut and hurried my steps towards the Black home, "Come on Jake, I'm getting cold."

He kept pace with me easily though I nearly ran up the steps and inside, I was grateful that while he sent me an odd look he didn't ask.

The dad's were engrossed in a game when we arrived so Jake and I went to cook dinner. I finally felt easy and comfortable again. Jake turned on the radio and we sang along to a few songs. After dinner, I helped Jake clean up and debated with myself whether I should ask him about Sam or not.

"Jake…" I hesitated, and Jake waited patiently while I debated with myself a little more. Wasn't it best not to know, to just keep avoiding him? The ache in my heart put up protest and I swallowed before continuing, if I knew more about him then I'd be able to avoid running into him better, I rationalized with myself. "How do you know Sam?"

"It's a small reservation Bella."

"I mean, it's just that the whole group is a bit odd, with how different your ages all are."

"Yeah, I guess." he shrugged, " we are a lot more alike then you know really. Actually we are like brothers."

"How long have you all been friends?"

"Um well Paul and Jared have been best friends since they were born practically. Embry, Quil and I became friends in elementary school. Leah and Emily are cousins. Leah used to date Sam. Emily has been with Paul almost a year. Kim and Jared have been in the same class for two years and got together about nine months ago. Seth is Leah's brother and Collin and Brady just sort of started hanging out with us." He shrugged.

I was grateful he didn't notice me cringe when he said Sam and Leah used to date. Were they serious? Why did they break up? How were they still friends? Leah was so beautiful; I could never compare to her long lithe and tone body. I was just average, average height, average weight and average beauty with average brown hair and eyes. I tried to shake myself, it didn't matter if I could compare with Leah, I didn't want to. I didn't want to be with anyone let alone someone who made me feel as out of control as Sam Uley.

"We all started hanging out together, I don't know really at different times over the last year and a half. But we all sort of grew up together and bonded quick."

"Oh." I wasn't sure what else to ask. I wanted to know more. I felt like I knew nothing.

"You know Bells, Sam is a good guy." I looked away from Jake; I didn't want to talk about that.

"I'm sure they all are Jake. I like your friends. It's good to chill with just you though." I smiled back at him and stood up, I didn't want to know more about Sam after all because I really didn't want to answer questions about why I was thinking about him, "I should get Charlie so we can go. I'll see you."

"Ok Bella." Jake stood and shifted his weight from one foot to another. Sure you don't want to come hang out with everyone tonight?"

"No thanks Jake, I'm tired and want to sleep in my own bed." I hugged him and went to find Charlie. I didn't need to wait since we both had our cars but when I told him I was ready he stood to leave anyways. I kissed Billy's cheek and we left.

At home I went straight up to bed. I heard a wolf howl in the distance and shivered remembering the wolfy shape from the cliffs earlier and my odd dreams. I knew it was going to be a bad night.

I was wrong. I woke up well rested on Sunday. The ache in my chest was still there but not as bad as it had been when I left Jake's the night before. I was in a good mood so I did a thorough clean and some laundry in the morning and was planning to spend the afternoon baking.

I was surprised when the doorbell rang. Expecting one of the girls or Jake had stopped by I didn't check before pulling open the door. My jaw nearly dropped when I saw Sam standing on my porch. His black t-shirt pulled tight across his chest, his faded jeans speckled with paint.

"Hello Bella."

"Sam, I, um." My voice came out low, he looked so sexy, I was not prepared to see him, and I of course was looking like a bum in my lulu's and my tight white long sleeve shirt, hair tossed up in a messy bun, not that it mattered what I looked like, since I didn't care about his opinion, "what are you doing here?" my previously soft voice came out sharp and bordering on rude.

"Charlie asked if I could come by, fix a few things." He told me with a small smile.

"Oh well, Charlie isn't home." I told him not moving from the doorway. _Don't let him in here, not while you are alone! _I started to shake as my head screamed at me to find a way to slam the door. Yet I was oddly happy to see him too. I wanted to invite him in and hear about his week and why he looked so tired. _No! Get rid of him! _I tried to ignore myself and hide the slight trembles in my hands.

"I know, he told me. Said you would be here or I could let myself in with the spare key."

"Right." I struggle with myself as I stepped back and let him in. "I'll just study in the living room while you work. I just need to clean up what I was doing.

I could feel his heat behind me as he followed me into the kitchen.

"You can keep baking, I can work around you." He said as I put away the few ingredients I had already taken out.

"No." I nearly snapped at him, my mind had convinced my body it needed to react, it needed to run from the need it felt to be closer to him and my feet were finding it hard to stay still as I spoke. "Thank you, I'll finish later. Do you need anything?" As soon as he shook his head I let myself flee, the living room was to close, I went straight up to my room and slammed the door, flicking the lock before resting against it.

Sam called upstairs when he was leaving. I gave a sigh of relief tinged with regret. I couldn't believe I had spent the last two hours hiding in my room. I went downstairs to bake, hoping for it to calm my still rattled nerves.

Charlie was impressed when he came home to all I had made, it was definitely more than Charlie and I would eat, but I figured I'd give a bunch of it to Jake, that boy could really eat. All the guys could and would no doubt enjoy it too. I made supper and cleaned the kitchen before kissing Charlie, who had been shooting me small worried glances since he walked in, and going up to finish my homework and sleep. I slept well again that night. The ache was there but not so bad. The only time I hadn't felt it was when I stayed in my room hiding from Sam. Instead of the ache my body pulsed with adrenaline and anxiety.

Every night I heard the wolves in the woods and imagined the black wolf haunting me, hunting me. Yet I couldn't fall asleep till I heard it howl, whether it was the same one or another in the pack I wasn't sure but once I heard them singing to the night I felt safer, and I knew the nightmares would not haunt me, even when I had them I was not so afraid anymore. My wolf would protect me even in my dreams.

The next few weeks went by quick and I spent the weekends studying with Angela and occasionally Kim would come down and join us. I had started to avoid the reservation at all costs.

Jake called several times to have me come down but I always found an excuse or invited him out. I even avoided going to dinner at his place since the Thursday after Sam had shown up at my house, Charlie and I had gone over and Sam had been there.

He sat beside me at dinner and I tried to be polite while refusing to look at or speak to him. Charlie and Billy both sent me worried looks. I could see Jake constantly shooting glances between Sam and I, a slight frown marring his usually happy expression.

Sam looked tired and sort of sad. I wanted to comfort him but stamped down the urge and determined to avoid coming to the reservation at all costs. I wanted to run into his arms and bury my face in his chest. I wanted him to take away the ache in my heart that only seemed better when he was near. I wanted to see him smile. I felt cold all the time now. I left the chill fill my veins and remind me of all the reasons all the things my body craved were exactly the things I needed to avoid. I bit back tears as I stood in the doorway after cleaning the kitchen, the boys all sitting in the living room watching the game. Sam was watching me again, my body was trembling with the conflicting desire to curl up in his side and seek comfort and the need to run.

I asked Charlie to take me home, told him I had a headache. Sam looked pained. I felt the urge to comfort him again and that made me more desperate to leave.

That night in bed I decided I would not go back to the reservation, not until I had control over myself, not until this power Sam had over me was gone. I was grateful when it started to work. Jake kept calling and Billy invited us over several times, Charlie was always asking why I didn't spend time with my res friends, but I was able to hold them all off with the excuse of upcoming finals and assuring Charlie I saw Kim a couple times a week and spoke to Emily on the phone who was also trying to get me to come out for another movie night. The more they all seemed to push for me to go to the reservation the more I fought against going.

As the days passed the nightmares disappeared entirely. Instead I had the same dreams about the black wolf, he would be lying under my feet while I sat on the bolder, chasing me through the woods or watching me on the beach from the cliff. I was tired and felt sick. I told myself it was just exams and stress but something inside of me kept telling me there was more to it. Stubbornly I ignored that part of me and focused more on my upcoming exams.

Until finally finals were upon us, our final finals! Graduation was approaching faster than I thought possible and I wondered if I was as ready for it as I had thought. Of course with all the studying I had done I was sure I was ready for the exams but to be done high school? That I wasn't so sure of.


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by extreme lemons or violence.**

**Please be gentle with your reviews. This is my first ever story.**

**Thank you so much for the reviews and adding me to you favorites or story alerts **** I will update as often as I can.**

**I had the story in my head all from Bella POV but a couple people commented on Sam so I promised to try to write him.**

**As promised here is a look into the mind of Sam. It's a bit of a longer one, briefly covering the imprint until now. Let me know what you think as I am really not sure of this one.**

SAM POV

I watched this slim sweet looking pale face come up behind Jake, wrapping her arms around his waist. He turned and hugged her tightly, setting her back on the ground before turning to us and slinging his arm around her shoulder.

"This is Bella Swan." He told us, smiling widely. The chief's daughter, Jake had told us she was moving back to Forks. I knew he had hopes of imprinting on her. When he had heard she was moving back his mind filled with images of them as kids playing together. He had loved her since he was four. It hadn't happened. Jake had seen her last night. I knew he was disappointed but he had taken it well. It had after all been years since he had even seen her.

I looked up as Jake said my name and straight into the softest honey brown eyes I had ever seen. I felt the world disappear around us as all the ties that bound me to this world fell away and heavy steel chains bound me to this woman. She was perfection. I was utterly lost to her. Whatever she needed I would be, above anything else. I felt a twinge of pain in my chest when she looked away and a pull in my heart telling me to take her in my arms, to hold her close to me, to love and protect her.

I watched as she greeted my brothers. I stood examining the soft texture of her skin, the curve of her cheek, the narrow line of her waist and the full curve of her hips and down her long, slender jean clad legs. I began imagining them wrapped around my waist. Images of us alone, surrounded by the woods, the sound of the ocean and the breeze through the trees our only company began flashing in my mind. I could nearly taste the sweetness of her skin on my tongue and feel her cool flesh against mine.

I hadn't heard a word any of them spoke as I examined my Bella. I felt an ache as she turned away and walked towards some kids from Forks, I wanted to grab her back to me, wrap her in my arms and carry her home to my bed, I wanted to claim her, to mark her as mine so all would know who she belonged to. It was a physical ache inside screaming at me. There would be nothing else, there could be no other, only Bella. She owned my soul. If she asked it of me I would not hesitate whatever her desire, her need, I cannot refuse, I am her slave, her protector and would the gift that is my Bella allow it, her mate. I was so fucking screwed.

"Jake" his head snapped towards me, the alpha timbre unintentionally inserting itself in my voice, through my distress "we need to talk."

The pack looked over at me confused, I could see just when it hit Jared and then Leah. I knew it would hurt her but she would be happy for me too. I had been given a gift that like the wolf is a curse. I earned the gift and lived the curse of the wolf, protecting my people and our land, now I would have to live with the curse and earn the gift of an imprint, my greatest weakness and my greatest strength, my Isabella.

"What's up man?"

"I imprinted." I told him turning to walk towards the cliff. Jake was quickly by my side as we walked down to the cliffs. I could hear the pack laughing and talking about this new development, how long it would take until their new pack sister was with us.

"You imprinted on Bella." I could hear the note of sadness in his voice. He really had wanted it to be him.

"I'm sorry Jake."

"You didn't do this to hurt me Sam. You'll make her happier than I could." I could never fully understand this kid. He was so good, understanding and always after what was best for each pack member. And he was always so happy, where the change had angered the rest of us in the beginning, it had barely affected his emotional state. He would make a great alpha when he decided to step up, he deserved to get the girl of his dreams. _So long as it wasn't my Bella, _the wolf within growled, but I tamped down his temper.

"What do I do?" I was at a loss, she knew nothing of our history, how was I supposed to handle this? Overgrown teenagers who turned into wolves when upset, that I could handle a woman who could crush my soul with her very little pinky finger, not so much.

Jake shrugged. "I wish I could tell you, but it's been a long time since we were close and she's different."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't really know." Jake sighed, "She was always shy and quiet but at dinner she seemed more reserved. She doesn't like to talk about Phoenix or why she moved here or about herself at all really. Charlie is pretty sure it has more to it than just giving Renee and Phil space but he told Billy, Renee wouldn't tell him more than that Bella had decided she wanted to spend some time with him before graduating."

"You think something happened to her?" I couldn't help the anger that filled me with the thought, it was nearly overwhelming rage; no one was going to hurt my imprint, ever. I could feel my whole body trembling with the fury filling me and tried to breath deeply and calm myself.

"No. I don't know. Maybe. She isn't talking though. Maybe it was just a bad breakup or she doesn't like Phil. She says he's great but who knows, Bella's not exactly the share all kind of girl, or share at all kind really, she keeps things close to the chest."

"You think she'll take it ok? The wolf thing?"

"I don't know, probably. I mean she has to right? We wouldn't imprint on someone who wouldn't be able to handle it would we?"

"Try to rebuild your friendship, if you get closer to her we can all get closer to her."

"You should have the girls make friends with her too."

"I've no doubt they are already planning on it. They've been hoping one of us would imprint soon and bring another girl into the pack." We wandered back over to the group and I watched my Bella across the fire, she was laughing and talking with her friends, I wonder if she felt it, she had to have felt it.

As soon as Jake went to get my Bella I slipped into the woods and phased to run patrol with Leah.

"She's pretty."

"Yeah." I sighed thinking about my Bella; she was more than pretty she was the most beautiful woman I had seen.

"Thanks."

"Shit, sorry Leah. You okay?" We had been together for years until I changed. I tried to stay with her but with all the secrets we began fighting, which was dangerous for her so I avoided going home more and more which only left her more hurt and angry. Finally she broke it off. When she changed and finally understood we had already seen Jared imprint. It would be too hard if we got back together and it happened to one of us. She finally understood had been going on with me and forgiven me but we would only ever be friends now. No matter how much love had still been there.

"Relax, its fine. I'm happy for you. Just hope she deserves you."

"Thanks Lee-lee."

"Are you happy Sam?"

"Yes. Imprinting is our greatest gift."

"Arguably our greatest curse to." She snorted.

"There is duality in everything Leah. There must always be a balance."

"Fuck off Sam. I know you so don't try to pull that enlightened alpha shit with me."

I sighed, "Its like a thick chain binding me to her. I am afraid for her, having her out of my sight hurts. If she asked me to drive a knife into my heart I could not refuse. We are slaves unbreakably bound to our imprint but I cannot fathom wanting to break away. She is exquisite and I am awed by her perfection. Life has meaning and I have reason, beyond duty, to fight for my people, to protect our tribe is to protect her and I cannot be discouraged nor weary of the responsibility when it has given me her and continues to keep her safe."

"I can't decide if it's a bad thing or not. I don't want the choice taken from me but I suppose it already has been, since the day we separated."

"I loved you Lee-lee but we are not soul mates, if you could choose not to imprint you would be choosing not to be with your perfect match, the one person who could love you the best."

We ran in silence for a few hours, I tried not to imagine my life with my imprint out of respect for Leah but I couldn't help it. Leah ignored my thoughts, singing in her head.

I slept away the morning dreaming of my Bella in my house, in my kitchen, her belly swollen with my child. I dreamed of dancing with her on the beach in the moonlight and of sitting with her on the porch sipping beers and talking about our days and about the pack. I had nightmares about something happening to her, about not being there to protect her, about her crying and not being able to comfort her.

When I woke up that afternoon the pack left a message, we were all going cliff diving. I smelt her before they came up, she smelt like honey, vanilla and a flower, freesia maybe. I felt her eyes on me and wanted to walk forward and take her in my arms but I was sure since we had met only briefly the night before that would make her think I was a freak.

When her eyes met mine I felt the world fade around us like the night before, I felt helpless, drowning in her honey eyes. She was perfection; she didn't deserve to be trapped in La Push. She deserved the world. I would give her anything. Do anything to make her happy.

She looked away again and a jolt of pain stung my heart like a little electric shock. I watched her as she talked to the others and watched each of the guys go over the edge, leaving only Kim, Jared and I on the cliff with her.

"I'll go with you." I offered taking a slight step closer to her. God how I wanted to hold her in my arms, the idea of her going off the cliff made my heart stutter in fear, though rationally I knew it was safe.

Kim encouraged Bella before Jared picked her up and carried her off the cliff.

I watched my beautiful girl hesitate, "You ready?" I asked, stepping closer to her again.

I saw her shift her weight from one foot to the other, faltering, ""You don't have to do it. Hell Paul doesn't even like Emily jumping." I told her, partly hoping she would refuse though mostly hoping she'd let me take her in my arms to jump.

"No, I want to. Maybe I should wait for Jake to come up though."

A sharp jolt of pain shot straight through my heart; didn't my imprint trust me? Couldn't she feel the bond? "I won't bite." I told her, teasing and trying to cover up the pain of her hesitation.

I watched her intently, she laughed nervously, her heart was pounding fast but I saw the determination come over her, she was still nervous but she said ok.

I made myself ask if she wanted to jump though all I wanted was to pull her securely into my arms.

When she hesitated I reached slowly over to pull her gently closer to me, I leaned down to her and took in her sweet scent, "Relax Bells" I told her and pulled her into my arms. My heart felt like it would beat through my chest when she wrapped her little arms around me. I lifted her up and tried to think of anything but those long perfect legs wrapped tightly around my waist as I had imagined. "Hold on tight Baby-girl." I told her taking a step back before taking two long strides forward and jumping off the cliff.

I held her to me as we fell and wished the drop were longer, "take a deep breath." I reminded her just before we hit the water. I held her as we sank but had to let go so we could swim to the top.

Her expression was stunning as she looked back up at the cliff.

We swam back to the beach where the others waited to climb back up the cliff. I watched as she jumped holding tightly to Jake's hand, I wished she had asked me but she had let me hold her and I told myself that was something. Watchingher go over made my heart jump in my chest. I knew Jake would keep her safe but it still hurt to breath until I could see her swimming safely to shore.

She jumped alone the third time and my heart actually stopped, a sharp jolt of pain shot through my heart and I couldn't breath through the fear. I wanted to strangle her for being reckless, regardless of the fact that we all did it, rational had nothing to do with it, she was my imprint and I could not protect her when she jumped alone off a cliff. Despite the fear I was impressed by her bravery. She had been hesitant at that first jump but now she took it easy as us guys, even Kim was still frightened to jump without Jared by her side and she had been jumping since it got warm enough. Impressed or not I still did not want her doing that ever again; of course if she wanted to, I would have to let her, I would always suffer for her happiness.

The week dragged on without my Bella. I wasn't sure how to get her back to the reservation. Jake invited her down but she was busy with school. Finally Emily decided that a movie night at her house would be a good excuse for Bella to come out. If only Jake had been able to get a hold of her to invite her.

I paced my yard trying to convince myself heading down to Forks and stalking the girl would not help my case.

I wanted to kiss Kim when she came back from meeting her brother in Port Angeles and told me Bella was coming after all. I left that to Jared switching his patrol with Seth so he could have the night off.

When she came I had to fight the urge to get up and pull her into my arms. With her near me the ache in my heart was gone and the fear tightening my lungs was finally easing at the sight of her safe. The pack purposely left her the seat next to me, unfortunately Jake was on her other side and she leaned into him. I felt that same jolt of pain, like electricity, straight to my heart and couldn't help the growl that escaped as Jake put his arm around her shoulder.

He sent me an apologetic look over her head and I shook mine at him. It wasn't his fault; she didn't know me. This wasn't a movie, where the girl falls instantly and irrevocably in love in only one weekend. This was a normal girl with a normal life, one who was about to be thrown into the supernatural. Even if she felt the pull of the imprint she wouldn't understand it. I would give her as much time as she needed to let me close to her. I couldn't help but watch her instead of the movie though; she was so beautiful.

Between the movies we ate again, it was never long between snacks in the pack, we ate enough to keep the grocery store in business with out the rest of the reservation shopping there. If we paid for everything we would anyways but Quil's mother owned the grocery store and knew about us so she gave us all a hefty discount otherwise we might half starve, it was expensive to feed a werewolf and none of us or the families of the younger guys made enough. It helped when we occasionally hunted, we could take down deer as wolves and bring it home for cookouts. The older generation also caught plenty of fish each weekend for us to gorge ourselves on.

While the others made popcorn, Jake motioned me outside.

"What' up Jake?" I asked once we were clear of the house.

"I'm worried about Bella."

"What about her?" My head shot up at his words, fear filling my gut.

"Do you think she feels the imprint?"

I wasn't sure where he was going with this, "I don't know. When I see her eyes I think she must but its like she is fighting it somehow."

"Do you think it could hurt her?"

"I don't know, we just have to watch, as long as I spend time with her its ok. The legends say the wolf has to be near his imprint, to be sure she is safe and happy and while she is my perfect mate they also say it is her choice what I am to her. I'll be whatever she needs. I might want her but I don't have to be her mate, so as long as we are near each other she should be fine."

"She looks tired."

"I know." Of course I knew, I had been watching her all night. I noticed him shift from one foot to the other, his expression still serious, "Jake." I used my alpha tone and waited for him to talk.

"Charlie told Billy she woke up screaming last weekend."

"What, when?"

"I don't know, I heard them on the phone yesterday, Billy was asking Charlie if she had had any more nightmares. Charlie said he thought she had since she looked so drained all week but she hadn't woken him screaming again."

"You think it's the imprint?"

"I don't know. Paul fought being with Emily longer than a week since he was scared to be near her after she got out of the hospital."

"Yeah," of course we all remembered how badly that had hurt them both until Emily had walked in and hit some sense into Paul, literally, she had hit him in the head with a cast iron skillet.

When he didn't phase she called him a jackass and told him she was moving in so he better get over it because she wasn't going to let him kill them both over one mistake. Jared and I nearly pissed ourselves laughing, so did the guys as soon as we phased and showed them. I gave Paul three days off patrol to help Emily move in.

"Come on let's go back in. I just thought you should know what I heard." I followed Jake inside, worrying over my Bell. What could possibly be giving her nightmares? Could the bond be affecting her so much already? No Paul and Jared were affected stronger than Emily and Kim, I would feel it if it were that.

When we went back in, the guys had all moved around again, trying to help me out. Slick bastards, I smiled to myself. Jake went straight over and sat on the floor in front of Bella, leaving the spot on the little couch next to her for me.

I looked over her again, taking in the darker skin under her eyes and the slight pallor of her skin. Jake was right, I knew she looked tired but I had been so wrapped up in her perfection I hadn't realized just how worn out she really looked.

I went to sit next to her and she began to pull her feet away from me. I dropped my hand over them, trapping them in place. Her feet were small under my hand and cold, I knew my skin would warm them and it sent a thrill through me knowing I was making my imprint more comfortable, even if I was just warming her toes.

I watched as her eyes began to droop and she finally fell asleep. I continued to watch her sleep, her breathing deep and even. When the film ended I stayed there as the others got up and left.

After a little bit Emily came over and whispered, "Put her in the first room on the left. I put Jared and Kim in the one next to it and you can sleep across the hall." I had never understood why Paul had bought this old house since it was far to large for just him but he loved it and since it was a wreck had gotten it easily with the money from selling his parents two bedroom place. Had four bedrooms and two and a half bathrooms with a large kitchen he had remodeled for Emily and nice sized living room.

I nodded at Emily, smiling in thanks, my eyes only leaving Bella for a moment. After a few more minutes I heard the door to Emily and Paul's room shut and I got up to pull Bella into my arms.

I sighed as she snuggled closer to me, I wanted to sit back down and hold her in my arms all night.

I heard her murmur that she could walk and couldn't help but laugh a little when even as she said the words her face nuzzled deeper in the crook of me neck.

"I know, Baby-girl but I'll carry you just the same if it's ok." I whispered to her as I continued to the room.

"Uh huh" she sighed into my neck her warm breath sending shivers through me.

I chuckled again and nudged the door open with my foot; I wished I could hold her like this when she was awake.

" We at Kim's already? She asked as I carried her into the dark room

"No, we are in Paul's spare room, Kim and Jared are in the room next door. The others left."

"Oh, ok. Thank Em and Paul."

"I will. You sleep." I told her, and leaned over to set her gently on the bed.

"Mm Kay"

I looked down at her again in her jeans and tank, which I was sure, would not be very comfortable to sleep in. My imprint needed to be comfortable. I pulled my shirt over my head and set it next to her, "Here, you can put this on to sleep." I ran my hand over her forehead, resisting the urge to kiss her goodnight, "Night Bells."

"Night Sam. Thank you."

I forced myself out of the room and into the one across from it. I hoped she would sleep peacefully tonight; she needed the rest.

In the morning she wouldn't look at me. She made plans with Kim and they rushed off. I felt like I had been punched in the gut.

The week was torture. I knew the girls were seeing her Friday and hoped they brought her to the reservation on Saturday.

It was almost dawn when Seth came across a fresh trail. I took Paul, Jared and Leah with me when Seth, Brady and Collin lost its trail. We tracked it to near the Canadian boarder before its tracks looped back and circled around to the water, disappearing into the ocean. I stopped on the cliffs on the way back, the pull of the imprint leading me to the beach and watched Bella walking off with Jake. For a moment I thought she saw me when she looked back but she just kept on walking with Jake.

Later that night Billy called to tell me Charlie came up with a few jobs at his house for me the next day. I felt my body buzz with the excitement of getting to be near my Bella. I would go early and then maybe invite her for lunch.

I couldn't wait for then though; I needed to be near her, the burning in my chest hurting too much, it had been to long since I was near her. I phased and ran to the tree line of the woods near her house. I listened, Charlie was snoring, I circled the house staying in the edge of the woods until I could make out her room by the sound of her heartbeat. I found a spot and lay down, listening to her, drifting off to the steady thrum of her heart.

My plan for a day with Bella was squashed when the boys caught sent of the vampire back on our land late in the night. We chased it through the woods all morning, I sent Jake, Paul and Quil along the coast while Jared, Seth, Embry and I chased it up towards Canada again. I was right, the damn thing circled around towards the ocean again, the guys were ready and tore him apart. I left them to burn the pieces while I hurried back to town, to see Bella.

She did not look thrilled to see me. She looked… terrified. Her heart was beating to fast and I could see her hands shaking. For a moment I thought she wouldn't even let me in but she did. As soon as she did she left me to work, running up to her room and slamming the door, I heard the light snick of the lock and stood there in shock.

My imprint was afraid of me? How was that possible? She had seemed nervous before but here, alone together she was actually afraid, I could smell the light acidity of fear, it was faint but it was there. So she wasn't terrified of me but she was afraid. I would have to ask Billy.

I clenched my fists and took in deep calming breaths as I fought the urge to phase standing in her kitchen. The pain that ripped through me at this revelation was unlike anything I had known before. My imprint was afraid and I couldn't comfort her, couldn't take away her fear because she was afraid of me.

When I calmed myself enough to stop shaking, I fixed the loose cupboards hoping she might come down. I couldn't stay though, not if it was making her uncomfortable, I wanted her to be happy not have to hide in her room.

I called up to her and left the house going straight to Jake's place to talk to Billy.

I told him everything, trying to stay calm as my body trembled with the urge to phase. The pain still ripping through my body like electric shocks.

He said nothing for a minute and the trembling got worse, "Go, phase and come back."

I did as he advised; Leah and Jared were running patrol. They assured me all was clear since the leech we had taken out earlierI told them to stay alert in case it wasn't alone and phased back, quickly pulling on my pants and returning to the house. . I wanted to run off the anger, pain and fear filling me but I needed answers. Billy hadn't moved.

"Billy?" I asked going to sit next to him.

"I wish I had an answer for you Sam. I have none. You are sure she feels the imprint?" I nodded, "I can see it in her eyes when she lets me look into them, I could feel it when I held her on the cliff and again when I carried her to bed last week."

"She must be fighting it, I cannot see why. It will only hurt you both."

"Should I tell her about the wolves? About the imprint?"

"We do not know why she fights the imprint. If we push her she might fight it harder. Only you can decide when she is ready, when the time is right you will know, you will feel it." I groaned and ran my hands roughly over my face.

"She isn't ready." I told him, knowing it was true, she was afraid of me now, if I told her I was a werewolf she might run all the way to Jacksonville. I couldn't risk losing her forever. I knew if its what she wanted I would have to let her go, it would kill me but my pain was not important, only she was. I had to make sure she didn't want that though, I had to find a way to make her happy here, to make her want to stay. I needed her, to be near her, to love and protect her.

"No, I don't believe so." He agreed. "But she is hurting from the imprint, we must find a way to keep you close to her without overwhelming her. She is not so afraid when you are with the pack." I nodded though the fact sent a wave of sadness through me. "I will talk to Charlie, have him bring Bella to my house for dinner this week, and the girls can invite Bella over as well. Until this is sorted you can be near her without her knowing, you will have to watch over her from the woods as the wolf."

I nodded again, staring into my hands, what if she rejected the imprint, what if she didn't want me? Could I survive that pain when the mere thought of it was crippling?

"Do not worry Sam. We will all help. But until we know why Bella came to us I do not know that we will be able to free her from her fear."

"You think someone hurt her?" I asked trembling again.

"Charlie says it is in her eyes. But Renee tells him not. She says nothing happened to Bella to make her want to move with him."

"If Charlie suspects it, he's likely right. Maybe she just hid from Renee better."

"Yes." I felt rage and pain fill me, someone had hurt my Bella, someone had made her want to fight the pull if the imprint. Unless it was just that she didn't want me, maybe she wanted Jake? He was so good and happy. I wasn't as angry as Paul had been but I was not as light and carefree as Jake by long shot. I needed to phase again, the trembles getting stronger.

"Give her time Sam. She is not like the other girls. Kim loved Jared for years and Emily had great compassion for Paul before they even met, she saw him behind the anger. Bella has only just come here, she might remember Jake and I but it has been years and the rest of you are so new in her life. It is maybe overwhelming her."

I nodded again and stood up, shaking now. "Thank you Billy." I went outside and phased immediately, the shreds of my pants fluttering around Billy's yard. "Jared, Leah go home, I'll finish patrol." I wanted solitude as I ran, running Billy's thoughts through my head along with every time I had seen her and any of the memories of her I had seen in the minds of the others. In that moment I wished the imprints shared the pack mind since they had seen my Bella the most.

Billy had Charlie bring Bella for dinner on Thursday; she wouldn't look at me when she arrived. The vice of fear around my lungs disappeared; my Bella was safe and here with me.

"Hello Bella." I tried to step closer to her but she stepped back sending a fresh shockwave of pain through me.

"Sam." She nodded at me quickly turning to Jake, "How's the bike coming Jake?"

It went like that all night. She refused to speak to me. She was unfailingly polite of course but she said very little and made excuses to leave quickly after dinner.

I could see the light trembling of her fingers as she ate sitting next to me and smell the traces of fear turning her sweet scent bitter. I focused on controlling my own trembling and as soon as she was gone I ran out into the woods. I ran for hours without stopping, in the end circling back and into Forks to settle in the spot at the edge of the woods beside Bella's house, where I could hear her heart beat as she slept.

After that night no one could get Bella back to the reservation. She saw Kim, inviting her to study but always in Forks. Kim began to text Jared when they were going to the diner for a break so we could be there. So I could catch a glimpse of her. I wasn't sure if it was better or worse. I couldn't not see her but seeing her hands tremble, hearing the acceleration of her heartbeat. It sent fresh shockwaves of pain through me. How could my imprint fear me? I would never hurt her.

For weeks I ran double patrols half the time unable to phase back, I had not been so out of control of my emotions or changes since I had first phased. I could barely eat or sleep. I felt the pull of the imprint squeezing the air out of my lungs and burning a hole deep in my soul. I felt weak from the constant ache and fear for Bella. As long as I stayed away though I did not cause her anxiety and I reveled in this small comfort. The constant pain urged me to go to her, compelling me to tell her everything and to claim her. I wanted impel her to talk to me, to plead with her to accept me. I couldn't force myself to though. I couldn't purposely cause her fear; I could do nothing to hurt her. If I pushed her I might lose her forever.

Every night now I slept in the tree line of the woods near her house, listening to her heartbeat as she slept, but the ache never left me, it only dulled a while. The pack was beginning to worry, all of them plotting ways to get Bella to the reservation. Leah was raging, ready to drag her here and lock her in a room of my house until she gave in to the imprint.

I was more than sure that she felt it to, I could see the pain in her eyes, Charlie told Billy her appetite had dropped and she was sleeping fitfully. I wondered what she dreamed about, what had woken her screaming in the night? What caused her to trash around, her heart racing? How could I ease her pain when my presence caused her anxiety? I knew she was calmer when I settled into the spot at the edge of the woods that I had chosen to be near her, but dreams still haunted her. I felt helpless.

I was at a loss. How did I help my Bella? How could I make my imprint happy when she feared me? How could I breathe when she looked at me with such sad eyes? I was a bad imprint, I couldn't take care of her, she was afraid of me and she didn't even know the beast that I was, the wolf within me.

Every fiber of my being wanted to take my mate, to wrap her in my arms and hold her close to me. To kiss her and promise no one and nothing would ever harm her. My wolf cried out for his mate, needing her, suffering without her. I stayed away though, I had to because it hurt her when I was near. No my girl had to come to me and soon, I wasn't sure how much longer I could be apart from her.


	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Please be gentle with your reviews. This is my first ever story. **

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can.**

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! They help me as I am writing to know what is working or like in the case of the last chapter what else you want. If I know I am on the right track it helps me shift ideas and write quicker! **

**As stated above this story does contain very lemony lemons – these will come without warning – if you don't like it, sorry, but don't read it.**

**With that, on with Bella's story…**

With my last final behind me I drove out to La Push and walked along the beach. I wasn't sure why I went. I had been avoiding it for weeks but I was tired and I couldn't fight the need to be there anymore. It was like deep inside I knew I was supposed to be there but that was ridiculous, I didn't belong in La Push. I was absolutely sure I hadn't a drop of Quileute blood in me and I had spent no more time there than Forks growing up so there was absolutely no reason for it to feel like home.

The days were starting to warm, the others still had an exam to write so I was on my own. We were all going to celebrate on Saturday.

"Hey Bella!" I heard someone calling my name and turned to see Jared making his way towards me.

"Hey Jared. Where's Kim?"

"In Port Angeles for the day with her brother and his boyfriend celebrating graduation."

"How come you don't go?"

"I'm going to meet them for dinner later, let her have some time with him herself you know."

We walked together chatting easily and not for the first time I felt bad for thinking anything bad about him when it came to his relationship with Kim. He was a really nice guy and he adored Kim, he wouldn't do anything to hurt her.

"We haven't seen you around much."

"Just been busy with finals. You should have come with Kim when she studied with Angela and I." I looked away, blushing faintly at the small lie. I had been busy with finals but I had mostly just been avoiding La Push.

"Nah, Kim and I don't concentrate so well together." He winked and chuckled a little.

"How is everyone else?"

"Good. We finished last week, I'm sure you know that from Kim, so we've all just been hanging out. Summer jobs start next week. I take it by your being here you had your last one, or is this just a study break?"

"I finished yesterday."

"And what will you do for the summer?"

"Mike Newton talked his mom into giving me an interview for some part-time work at their store. I am not sure about working there though, I don't know anything about sporting goods or camping."

Jared laughed lightly, "no, wouldn't have taken you for the sporty type."

He had seen me fall a couple times but his laugh was good natured not mean so I giggled along with him, "I don't think anyone who knows me would."

"What about working somewhere else? I think Sue is looking for someone to help out part-time."

"Right, because my coordination skills would be wonderful in food service. I'd likely drop a tray of drinks on someone." We both laughed.

"True. What do you want to do?"

"You mean, like in the future and everything?" he nodded so I continued, "I'm not sure really. I applied to a couple schools but I want to take this year off. Work and save up you know. What about you?"

"Now that I'm done school, I'll work with Sam."

"Doing construction?"

"Yeah, he started up a company a few years back, its small but he does most of the work on the res and some odd jobs in Forks."

"Its his company?" I knew Jake said he did a lot of work for people here, but I didn't think it was his own company.

"Yeah, Sam took a few business classes online. He hates doing the books though. All of us do. Its much better to be on the sites."

"Jake says Quil does that kind of thing maybe he can help."

"Yeah, he Jake and Embry are still fixing cars for people on the res and your dad even sent a couple from Forks their way. They charge a lot less then the garages in Port Angeles."

"By the time they graduate and actually open they will have quite the reputation already."

"Yeah they will. It's good they have something they want to do here. And we can manage the books, we just don't like dealing with the paper work, to monotonous." Jared laughed.

"What is Kim going to do?"

"She is going to work with Emily at the bakery." Jared's grin grew wider, "My girl might not cook like Em but she bakes like a goddess."

I laughed with him, "Yeah she's brought treats when she came over to study."

"She says your baking is really good too."

"Oh I get by, not like her or Emily though. If I did it more I am sure I would get better but it's a waste for just me and Charlie and I prefer to cook."

"Hah" he let out a loud laugh, "feel free to do either for me and the guys, we'll eat whatever you can make." I had seen them eat so I didn't doubt this.

We continued to walk in quiet for a few minutes before he stopped and grinned like a mad man.

"What is it Jared?"

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You're really smart."

"Thanks Jared." I frowned at him still a little confused.

"You can help us out part-time and it requires neither sports knowledge or walking while balancing trays." He laughed at his own words.

"I don't know; I've never done anything like that."

"Its easy, just boring. You sit at the desk and answer the phones. Write down appointments with people who want things done. Make sure all the papers are filed in the right place. Like I said easy."

I couldn't help but smile back at him, it did sound pretty good and I didn't really want to work with Mike, his flirting always made me a little uncomfortable, even more now that he was dating Jessica.

"Maybe you should talk to Sam." Oh no Sam, could I work with Sam? _Don't be ridiculous Bella, you haven't talked to him in weeks and you haven't even seen him except when he was in the diner with the others when you went in. There is nothing to worry about! This job would be perfect. You will not let him affect you anymore!_

"Sure, sure." The Jake-ism made me smile, these guys really did spend too much time together, not only did they look alike sometimes they even sounded alike. "I'll talk to him this afternoon and you can start with Paul and I on Monday."

"Right well, if Sam has time to interview me on Monday I guess that would work but don't go making him feel obligated because you already asked me. I understand if he doesn't want someone with no experience. And I have that interview with Mrs. Newton on Wednesday."

Jared just rolled his eyes, "don't worry about it Bella. Sam will be thrilled. Come on lets go to Paul's, I'm starving and Jake will be there, he's missed you."

I walked with Jared to Paul's; he really was a good guy and I could see why he and Kim were so good together. Once we got there, Jake pulled me into a big hug. I hung out there with them for a couple hours; it felt good to be back on the reservation spending time with them and Paul only shot me an angry glare when Jared and I first came in after that he ignored me which is nicer than the glares. Emily and I chatted in the kitchen for a while and we all started a game of cards but when Jared went to meet Kim I made my own excuses to head home as well and cook supper for Charlie. It had been a great afternoon and I had almost convinced myself it would be fine to hang out there again.

The very thought of Sam still sent my stomach into twisty knots but I kept telling myself it would be fine. I mean really there was no point avoiding the man. He was friends' with the people I was and its not like he liked me. If I could just keep from letting myself get all twisty when he was around. Since the thought of him still made me confused and weak avoiding him wasn't working, maybe desensitizing myself to him by seeing him all the time would work. So getting a job with him was the right thing to do. I could see him enough in a formal office setting that he would no longer get me all confused and thus wouldn't have to avoid my friends to avoid seeing him.

There it was decided, if he would hire me I would work for him. I could do this. I just had to listen to my rational side and stamp away any urges I had to touch him, or comfort him, or anything else. If I stamped them down hard enough they would go away.

The next day I was sipping coffee when my phone rang, Charlie was out and few people called me so I debated letting the machine pick it up but decided against it.

"Hello?"

"Bella?"

I knew that voice, warm and deep, it sent chills down my spine, "Yes."

"It's Sam."

"What's up?" why on earth would Sam Uley be calling me?

"Jared said he talked to you about a job?"

Duh, of course he would be calling, now be cool and professional, stay at arms length and stamp on those damn butterflies in your stomach. "Oh right, he said you might want someone to do some administrative work for you, I told him I don't have any experience though."

"That's fine, I'm sure you'll pick it up quick, there is really not much, normally things are forwarded to my cell but it can be a pain to remember things when I am on a job so you'll take calls and write down messages, keep the files that kind of thing, I can only afford to pay you minimum and it might not be full time hours all the time."

"That sounds fine."

"Great then you can come in Monday."

"What time?"

"Nine. "

"Thanks for giving me an interview."

He laughed, "Its not. You're smart; you'll be fine. I'll show you what you need to know before I head to the site on Monday. I warn you though, our organizational skills are sorely lacking so it might take you a while to get everything in order." He gave me the address and I thanked him again, I couldn't believe he was just going to give me a job.

The next day I drove to Port Angeles and did some shopping for clothes for my new job. Sam had said it was casual and to just wear what I wore everyday but I wanted a few new things. The rest of the week went by quickly. Emily invited me to hers for a movie night with the guys but I declined, not that I was trying to avoid La Push anymore but I had plans with my Forks friends. I did invite her and the other girls over to mine the next night though, ok so maybe I was still avoiding the res a little but it was going to take time. Hopefully I wouldn't feel so nervous by Monday.

Nervous and excited, happy and terrified, _damnit Bella get a hold of yourself! Stamp on those damn butterflies! Do not let Sam Uley scare you away from your friends or La Push! He was not going to control any part of your life or stop you from doing anything! You are going to work for him and drown this strange need for him._ I gave myself a pep talk for the thousandth time.

Monday morning I got up and showered early. I stared at my closet for a while before deciding on skinny jeans, black Sari thong ankle boots a black camisole trimmed with lace and a long grey cardigan. I hoped it was ok, he had said to wear whatever I normally do but I wasn't sure I still shouldn't dress up a bit. Oh well it was my first day. I put on some black liner and mascara and grabbed my new oversized slouch purse and left the house a little early to be sure I got there in time.

I followed the directions Sam had given me; I was shocked when they led me down a driveway set into the woods and to a beautiful little cottage. The yard was well kept but small, the forest surrounded the little house. I double-checked the address sure this couldn't be right but it was and a moment later the front door opened to reveal Sam.

My breath hitched in my throat. It just wasn't fair for one man to be so sexy. I mean all the guys were seriously hot but Sam, the man just oozed power and sex. I forced myself out of the car, my hands trembling lightly as they gripped the door handle. He was wearing a red t-shirt with black writing, his long legs were incased in faded jeans, and not the artfully faded jeans so fashionable these days but the kind that looked soft they were so well worn. His feet were encased in black work boots, the toes scuffed with age and he stood with a mug of coffee in his hands.

"Morning Bell, can I get you some coffee?"

"Oh um, shouldn't we be going to the office?" I asked him confused, trying not to think of how sexy he looked, how much I wanted to walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist, or even better around his neck with my legs wrapped around his waist, tasting the coffee on his lips… _damnit Bella stop that right now! He is your boss! _I clenched my hands into fists to stop them from shaking with the need to touch him.

He laughed and it sent a shiver of heat through me, "this is the office. We spend most of our time on sites so I just turned a spare room into the office. Come on in."

I was going to be in his house, everyday, _oh no, this was not good_. I forced myself to follow him inside. The place was perfect. It was one story. The door opened into the living room and kitchen, with a hallway a little to the left between the living room and kitchen. I followed him into the kitchen where he made and handed me a cup of coffee before refilling his own. I avoided looking at him as I glanced around the room, halfway looking for all avenues of escape.

"Ok so, this is my house. I had a key made for you," he set a little silver key beside my mug. You are to help yourself to anything in the kitchen, its part of the deal, meals and snacks are on me." I was glad he was keeping this business like despite the intimacy of sipping coffee in his kitchen. I hoped he didn't notice the fine trembling I couldn't seem to stop. "Come on and I'll show you the rest."

I followed him down the hall. "This is the bathroom," he motioned to a half open doorway as we passed it. Over there is the linen closet and my room." He said pointing to the end of the hall. "Beside it is the guest room, Jared is sleeping there now, he'll be up and out of your way in a few hours. This one," he said stopping at the door across and a little to the side from the one where Jared now slept, "is the office." He pushed open the door. The whole house had been neat and tidy if a little minimal in its furnishings; this room however was not nearly as neat. There were stacks of paper everywhere.

Sam shifted on his feet a bit, "We're not so good at organizing this stuff."

"Well that's why you hired me." I shrugged, my hands already itching to start organizing it all. All my nerves forgotten as I focused on the task in front of me.

"Right." He smiled at me again and walked into the room. "The phone is here and I wrote down all our numbers incase something comes up. We work odd hours so I figure you can work as you like just forward calls to my cell when you aren't in."

"How should all this be organized?" he shrugged, "however you like, just make sure we can find shit because this," he gestured to the piles, "doesn't work."

I laughed a little, "No I imagine it doesn't."

We quickly went over a few of the things he needed to be organized, the customer bills, the on the side fix-it jobs the boys did and the major renovation and construction jobs they worked, running through an overview of all the ins and outs of the business. When he had gone through all he could think of he focused back on me, "Anything else you can think of you need?"

"I'm not sure." I told him looking around the room again, noting the box of files and the cabinets against the wall.

"Ok, well you write it all down as you go and we can go get whatever you need, if it can't wait go to the res general store and put it on account, otherwise we'll take a trip into Port Angeles later in the week and you can get what you need while we get supplies. Write down what you want in the kitchen on the list on the fridge and lock up when you head home. I imagine it will take at least a week to organize this mess and set up your own system but don't bother trying to get it done quickly, a few hours a day is fine or a couple days a week, however you decide you want your schedule."

"Sure, sure." I nodded, my attention on his ass as I followed him back out to the main room.

"I have to head out to the site now" I shot my eyes up as he turned trying not to blush, "You going to be ok here?"

"Yeah, thanks again Sam, I really appreciate it."

He smiled at me, "I should be thanking you; I know the guys are since they don't have to do it." I couldn't help the light blush this time.

"Right well, I'll get started then." I shifted uncomfortably on my feet.

"Yeah, call my cell for anything. Stereo is there if you want to play music. Don't worry about Jared, he sleeps like the dead and will stay out of your hair when he does get up."

"Ok." I nodded following him to the door. It felt weird seeing him out of his own house. He hesitated at the door, almost like he didn't want to leave and for a second I thought he might lean down and kiss me. Of course that was a silly thought, why would he do that?

Once I closed the door I looked around myself again, this time more thoroughly. The couch was oversized and looked worn in and comfortable. The floors were all wood, the walls a creamy white. The wall across the couch had a good-sized flat screen surrounded by shelves. On some of them were books on others framed photos but they, like the walls, looked a little bare.

I moved forwards to see what he had. The books were mostly Quileute history, legends and myths. A few of them even looked to be written in the Quileute language which was nice to see since so few people took the time to learn I these days. He had a handful of novels, and some books on building and fixing things. The photos were mostly of the guys and one of him with an older but still very pretty looking woman with long Raven black hair, she looked very petite next to Sam but she had the same chocolate eyes, must be his mother. I wandered back into the kitchen and took a peek into his fridge and cupboards. I was mildly surprised to see them all quite well stocked though it didn't seem that he cooked too much, it was all things that could be made fairly easily. I made my way back to the office after refilling my mug.

I turned the radio on low and turned to the papers, it was hard to know where to start. I saw some filing cabinets, they still looked fairly new and few papers had made it inside the drawers. None of the files were labeled. I looked in all the drawers of the desk as well.

I sighed and sat down pulling the first file to me. I started separating all the papers into files and was making decent progress when I heard a knock on the open door. My head shot up to see Jared standing there.

"Hey Jared, I didn't wake you with the music did I?"

"Nope. Have to head onto the site after lunch, just wanted to see how you were doing and if you ate lunch yet."

I glanced at my watch surprised that so much time had passed and it was after twelve.

"I'm doing good and haven't eaten yet though I am getting hungry." I told him honestly. Now that I had stopped to think about it I realized I really was hungry.

I grabbed the empty mug from the counter and followed Jared back down the hall.

He pulled open the fridge, "what do you feel like eating?"

"Oh anything really. I don't want to be a bother, I'll bring something with me tomorrow."

He looked over at me funny, before tuning back to the fridge, "I don't cook much so its," he rummaged around for a second "cheese sandwiches or microwave soup."

I laughed and nudged him out of the way, "I'll make us something. I looked into the fridge and cupboards double checking what he had in there, "You just woke up so how about ham and cheese omelets with fresh biscuits."

"Really?" he looked at me a little surprised, "You'll make lunch?"

"Sure, I told you I cook."

Jared came over and hugged me tightly, lifting me slightly off my feet. "I love that Sam hired you. It was my best idea ever." He laughed setting me back on my feet.

I laughed with him and shoved him lightly; "Alright now out of my kitchen while I cook."

"Ok." He walked back down the hall to get ready for work while I started to cook.

I hurriedly make the biscuits and put them in the oven before turning to the eggs. I made three omelets for Jared and one for myself. When everything was ready I set plates on the table. Jared and I ate in companionable silence. He insisted on cleaning the kitchen while I took the extra pan of biscuits out of the oven. I still couldn't believe Jared had eaten six. I put the nine from this batch and the remaining two from our breakfast into a dish and covered them up. Jared and I talked lightly while we puttered around the kitchen. He was an easy guy to be around.

When he headed out to the site taking the dish of biscuits with him for the guys I tidied the kitchen. _See Bella, there is nothing to worry about. Sam was a nice guy just like, Jake, and Billy and even dad said. _I told myself, for the dozenth time. He was going to be an easy boss to work for and this job was much better then working at the Newton's store. _He wasn't trying to manipulate you or control you. What ever this stupid reaction was to him you could just ignore. You did it this morning and after a while it will just go away so you can still be friends with Jake and Jared, it was all just a matter of desensitizing myself to the headiness of being near him._ I finished wiping the counter, pleased with my little self pep talk and got back to work.


	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

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**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! They help me as I am writing to know what is working or like in the case of the last chapter what else you want. If I know I am on the right track it helps me shift ideas and write quicker! **

I startled when I heard a throat cleared and a light knock on the door. Looking up I saw Sam standing in the doorway; damn he looked even better than this morning.

"You're still here?"

"Oh um, yeah, I lost track of time." I looked around me surprised to see the sun was low and the room had darkened. I glanced down at my watch.

"Its quarter past." His warm voice flowed over me.

"Ok well I should get going home then." I told him not making any move to get up.

"You made Jared lunch."

I blushed, "Oh um yeah, I told him I'd bring something tomorrow, I don't want to use all your food."

"Its part of the deal." He shrugged. "You made the biscuits he brought?"

"Yeah, they are better warmed up."

"Thought they were good." He stood there staring at me for a minute. I shifted under his heated gaze, "You hungry?"

I shifted again not sure why he was asking, "Um, yeah, I guess, I really should get home to feed Charlie."

"He's at Sue's, come on, you worked late today, let's eat." He didn't wait for an answer just turned and headed back to the kitchen. I got up and followed him.

He was in the kitchen shifting through his cupboards. He looked so tense and I wanted to go and wrap my hands around his waist to comfort him, rest my head against his strong back. I couldn't help myself at least asking, "Are you alright Sam?"

He turned to me frowning slightly, "Long day is all."

"You don't need to feed me, just rest. I should have left already."

"No." his voice was sharper than I expected, "I like the company." He added quieter.

I watched him for a minute, he looked so tired, his eyes were a little sunken in and he seemed to have lost a little weight. Why hadn't I noticed any of this, this morning? "Why don't you go shower, sit on down and relax while I make something then."

"You don't have to, I can cook."

"I'm sure you can but I like it and you're tired. Now go, out of my kitchen." As I had with Jared earlier I pushed him lightly towards the living room. He gave me an odd look before nodding and heading down the hall.

As I turned to the fridge I froze, _shit, had I just kicked the man out of his own kitchen?_ I shrugged it off hoping he hadn't noticed or been offended by my claiming his space.

I quickly pulled ingredients out and started cooking. Sam came out twenty minutes later and I almost swallowed my tongue. He had on faded dark wash jeans that sat low on his hips. His hair was still wet and a few droplets of water were trailing down his chest. _Fuck I think I just creamed my panties._ With that thought my brain stopped functioning and I continued to stare at him, after a moment which could have been a minute or an hour, he walked across the room into the kitchen, his bare feet not making a sound on the wooden floor. I turned as he came over. He took another step forward, I moved back until I hit the edge of the counter. He continued forward until I felt surrounded by him. His finger went under my chin and lifted my face so my eyes met his. The chocolate and caramel depths had darkened to an almost black in their intensity.

Slowly he leaned down until his lips touched mine, and fuck if it didn't warm me to my toes. There was nothing in the world but Sam, I had no past and no future, I existed in the moment and at this moment I was home.

I leaned into him kissing him harder, he groaned and his tongue flicked out to run across the seam of my mouth. I opened for him. Our tongues battling for dominance which he quickly won. I heard a rumble in his chest and he lifted me onto the counter stepping between my legs, never breaking the kiss. I moved my hands from his neck down his chest. I felt him shiver at my touch. I had wanted to touch him since I had met him, now I clung to him.

Finally he pulled back so we could breathe but he continued to trail kisses along my jaw. I leaned forward and kissed his collarbone, he groaned as I let my tongue flick out and taste his skin.

He kissed me again, I could feel the heat pooling at my sex. I wanted him so badly my whole body was crying for him; even my mind was oddly silent. I knew I would be sorry in the morning but all I could think about was having Sam not wanting him but needing him.

I was slightly dazed as he pulled back, "Fuck" he swore turning away from me.

_Shit, this was a bad idea, this was my fault, what did I do? _My mind finally started screaming at me as the heat from his body left mine. I felt almost numb as I watched as Sam pulled away from me and turned to the stove.

It was then I saw the blackened mess on the stove and smelt the smoke. _How long had we been making out? _Sam turned off the stove and tossed the pan in the sink running the water over it. He stood there breathing heavily. "I'm sorry Bella." His voice came out quiet and jagged.

I jumped off the counter and told my mind to get lost following my instincts and wrapping my arms around his waist. He turned and looked down at me, I lifted my hand to his cheek and ran it along his jaw line. My eyes moved from his to follow my hand as it traveled from his face to his shoulder and down his chest. My finger tips the only thing touching his skin. I was nearly at his belly button when he growled again sending a fresh wave of desire through me. He lifted me into his arms crushing his mouth to mine. I wrapped my legs around his waist as I kissed him back one hand digging into his shoulder the other running through his wet cropped hair. I felt him moving until my back hit a wall.

After a while he pulled back, "Fuck Bella, I have to stop."

I whimpered and started kissing his jaw up to his ear then pulling it into my teeth. He growled again and ground into me. _What was it about that sound that made me soak my panties_?_ I mean that could not be normal could it? I didn't even know men could make that sound though._

"Bella, please," his voice held a note of desperation.

"Why?" I asked him pulling back to look into his eyes. I knew if I stopped to think about it I could think of a thousand reasons but I didn't want to stop and think; I wanted Sam, I needed him.

He searched my eyes a moment still breathing heavy, "because I wont be able to if we don't now."

"Good." I pulled his head back to mine as I leaned forward and kissed him again. After a second Sam kissed me back, taking control again. I felt his hand move up my shirt as we moved away from the wall; he left a burning path across the skin of my back as his calloused hand ran across it.

He broke the kiss as he sat back onto the couch, me still straddling him. He lifted my shirt off me and began kissing the skin on my chest. He had my bra off in seconds and lowered his mouth to my left breast, one hand still pressed on the center of my lower back the other stroking and pinching my right breast. I moaned and leaned into him. He switched breasts giving each equal attention while I ground myself into his erection. I had never been so wet, so needy, had never thought it was possible to want someone so much.

"Sam," I panted his name and pulled his head to me for another searing kiss.

He pulled away again and looked into my eyes, "tell me to stop Bella. Tell me to stop or I will take you, I'll have you here and now." I moaned and ground into him again, he growled and I slipped my hands down to the buckle of his jeans.

He stood up taking me with him; he set me on the ground and made quick work of my jeans kissing down my leg as he pulled them off my feet. He kissed back up the opposite leg stopping just before my apex. I could swear he was smelling me as he took a deep breath in and moaned.

He pulled down my panties and growled again seeing I was bare. The sound sent a fresh wave of moisture and I cried out as his tongue ran across my nether lips lapping it up. My knees got week but his hands wrapped around my thighs holding me up and spreading me as he continued to lick, swirling his tongue around my clit. I came screaming his name when he sucked my clit into his mouth nipping it. He stood up and lifted me into his arms again. I ground against his hardness, as he walked us down the hall into his bedroom. He sat me on the bed and stripped out of his jeans.

I could feel myself creaming again as I let my eyes wander over his body. He was so hard and sexy and… proportionate, damn, I knew he would fit, I mean they all fit right? But he was much bigger than I had ever seen. His cock was long and thick and hard as I looked at him it twitched and he groaned.

I pushed back the nerves and knelt up on my knees and pulled him closer kissing him and running my hands over his chest and down his hips to his penis. He felt so heavy in my hands, I ran my fingertips gently from his base to his tip and swiped my thumb over the pre-cum at his tip he groaned and I wrapped my hand around him, he stepped back a little his hand pulling mine away from him and back up to his neck.

He got on the bed on his knees and reached for my hips and pulled me to him. I felt the length of him slide against my wetness, we both moaned at the contact. He lifted me slightly aligning himself with my opening. I rolled my hips pulling his tip inside me. We were both breathing heavy as he shifted forward and lay me back onto the bed, pushing inside of me at the same time.

He was so big. He went slow letting my body adjust. I had never felt so full, so complete. I began rocking my hips against him until he let out that low growl that made my inner muscles clench around him. He began moving and I met him thrust for thrust as the speed and intensity quickly picked up. I was panting and making little mewling noises I had never heard come out of me before. I could feel the coil tightening inside of me; I held it back as long as I could but it overwhelmed me and I came screaming out his name.

He was growling constantly now and I felt him slam into me a few more times before I felt him still above me, hot jets of cum shooting into me, bathing my womb in heat, as soon as the first jet spurted inside of me I came around him again.

We lay there still connected and trying to catch our breath. My whole body was shaking with the force of my orgasm. He shifted on top of me but I tightened my limbs as much as I could around him, holding him close. He kissed the place my neck met my shoulder and rolled, holding me tightly to him, still buried deep inside me. I closed my eyes and drifted to the sound of his heartbeat.

The room was dark when I opened my eyes. I looked at the man sleeping under me. He looked so relaxed and peaceful. I tried not to wake him as I got off the bed. His arms tightened around me briefly but when I kissed his chest and wriggled away he sighed in his sleep and loosened his hold. I looked around me and saw a shirt folded on his dresser. I pulled it on and snuck out of his room. In the main room I sighed and picked up my scattered clothes. I glanced at the clock in the kitchen before picking up his phone and calling Charlie, it was a little after nine.

"Hey dad."

"Oh hey Bells, how was your first day?"

"Good, good, um, so you ate at Sue's?"

"Yeah, she had all us old timers over for dinner, just got in actually. You going to spend the night there with Kim?"

"Oh, um, I don't know."

"Go ahead kid. You're all grown up now. I'm glad you have such good friends to take you out to celebrate your first job. I didn't even think about that. We'll do something special soon ok? Maybe go out to eat. Or we could order in and rent a movie when I get back from the convention? Sunday maybe."

"Sounds great dad."

"Night Bells. Have fun."

"I will, night dad." I hung up the phone confused before picking it up and calling Kim. How on earth would she have known to cover for me and please god say she hadn't shown up here and seen what was going on.

"Bella?"

"Hey Kim, did you tell my dad I wasn't coming home?"

"Yeah, well I said you might not."

"Why?"

"So you could stay out here tonight if you wanted."

I blushed trying to think of a way to ask if she might've come by and seen something, "Well thanks."

She laughed, "Don't worry about it, he mentioned to Leah you weren't home yet so she told him you were with me and us girls were going to celebrate our first days. Where is Sam?"

"Um, sleeping" I said it more like a question still a little embarrassed knowing she would know what had happened.

"Ok well, you guys have fun. I'll come by and have lunch with you tomorrow, I want details and we can gossip about the boys. Jared was raving about your biscuits so you might have to teach me to make those."

I laughed a little relieved, of course Kim wouldn't judge, she was a good person and a good friend, "Sure, sure. Sounds good. Thanks Kim." I hit the end button still smiling.

"Everything ok."

His voice made me jump as I swung around to see Sam leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, the same low slung jeans from earlier on.

I blushed and avoided his gaze, "Um yeah, just checking in with Charlie and thanking Kim, she covered for me not being home or well I guess Leah did since she saw Charlie when he got to Sue's."

He chuckled and pushed himself off the wall his long stride eating the distance between us.

I glanced around the kitchen and saw the half cooked dinner and frying pan in the sink, "Sorry about dinner."

He pulled me to him and kissed me when I looked up, "I'm not." His stomach grumbled loudly belying his words and he grinned cheekily, "Starving now though."

I laughed and pushed him away before I could jump him again, "I'll just clean this up and make something else."

"I'll help."

I tilted my head and thought about it a second, "Ok, what shall we have?"

"Pizza." He said turning his upper body and reaching for the cordless, one arm still wrapped around me. I laughed and pushed him away to start tidying up while he called and ordered. When the kitchen was put to rights we sat on the couch to wait for our food. There was a slight awkward silence but it lasted only a second.

"What movie do you want to watch?" his voice was quiet like he was afraid to startle me in case it made me run away from him.

"Oh, um, anything." Not sure myself if I would bolt out the door while praying it was all a dream.

He got up and put one in the player sitting back next to me and pulling me into his arms. I felt my body relax instantly into his. Giving in to how I felt was so much easier than I would have thought, it felt so easy and right in his arms and the side of me that knew this would all go wrong and end badly for me was still oddly silent.

We started kissing again and before long I was straddling his lap again, god I could not get enough of this man. We broke apart as the doorbell rang. I got up to answer it as Sam grabbed his wallet. The pizza guy scanned over my body and I blushed remembering I wore only Sam's shirt. I felt his heat as he came up behind me and growled at the boy, wrapping an arm around my waist. As before the sound sent a rush of heat through me, and moisture gathered at my center. The pizza kid blushed and looked away stuttering out the amount we owed him. I took the pizza as Sam paid the kid, pulling out of his arms and setting them on the table.

Sam came into the kitchen and pulled me into his arms for a searing kiss before setting me aside and getting plates. I ate two and a half slices while Sam devoured the rest of the two large pizzas. I laughed and kissed him as he reached over to finish the last half of a slice I had left on my plate.

"What?" he asked shoving it into his mouth.

"I just don't know if I will ever get used to how much you guys can eat." I laughed at him.

He swallowed the last of it eyeing me over. "We have endless appetites'."

The look he gave me made me shiver and again I could feel my body reacting to him. He reached over and pulled me back into his lap.

"You look so fucking sexy in my shirt."

"You look sexy without it." I told him kissing his naked chest.

He groaned as I ground myself into his erection "Fuck, baby-girl."

"Yes," I moaned kissing him. I was already so ready for him. I reached between us and pulled the zipper down on his jeans to free him. He lifted his hips so I could pull his jeans down his legs. I slipped off the couch kneeling in front of him and pulled his pants all the way off. Between his legs again I kissed his thighs and his hips I ran my fingertip along the vein under his penis and cupped his balls in my hand. He groaned and his hand tightened into a fist on the back of the couch.

I began nipping and kissing and licking the length of him running my hand up and down in a slow and steady rhythm. I flicked my tongue out to capture the bead of pre-cum and kissed his tip before enveloping him in my mouth. I swirled my tongue around him and hollowed my cheeks as I began to suck him in rhythm with my hand near his base. He was far too large to take all the way but I loosened my throat and swallowed around him making him groan and pant out my name.

I massaged his balls with my free hand, rolling them and gently squeezing. I ran my teeth along him gently and felt his balls tighten, I heard him swear and knew he was finished as I swirled my tongue again before taking him as deep as I could and swallowing. I felt the bursts of cum coating the back of my throat and I quickly swallowed it down. I kissed his thigh after I sat back.

Sam lifted me into his arms and kissed me thoroughly before laying me back on the couch. He lifted his shirt over my waist but left it on as he began to kiss up my thighs. I was already so wet I knew it wouldn't take much before I came. He licked one long lick across me placing a firm kiss to my clit. He swirled his tongue around it and then down. He began to fuck me with it, thrusting it in and out. I squirmed not sure if I was pulling away or trying to get closer. He moved up to lick, nibble and suck my clit entering me with two fingers and curling them to hit my g-spot as he pumped; it took only a few strokes to have me crying out his name.

He was lying on top of me in less than a second, his mouth capturing my cries. Before the orgasm had receded he pushed into me in one long hard stroke. Instantly I was clenching around him in another orgasm. I had never had so many in my life let alone in one evening. Well I hadn't had one at all before but I never expected it to be like this.

He pumped into me and I lifted my leg up around his hip, changing the angle and making up both groan. I scratched at his back and he growled speeding up. I started chanting his name like a prayer as I panted for breath.

"Come for me now." He demanded growling at me. As soon as the last syllable left his mouth I was shattering around him. I felt him let go and his come filling me, making my orgasm continue on.

I woke sweating unsure of where I was. The room was still relatively dark as I looked around the events of the night coming back to me. I felt Sam's arm tighten around me. Damn he was like sleeping next to space heater on high with a fleece blanket. I tried to wriggle out of his embrace but he let out a low growl and pulled me closer to him.

I turned in his arms and poked him in the chest. "Sam Uley did you just growl at me."

"No. Go back to sleep." He grunted.

"Yes, you did. And I can't it's to hot, I need to open the window and use the bathroom."

He groaned but loosened his hold on me. I got up and moved across the room slipping into the bathroom off his room. When I came back in Sam was still lying on the bed with his eyes closed but the window next to it was open, the cold morning air making me shiver.

"Come back to sleep now." He held out his hand not opening his eyes. I crawled back into bed settling against him again and was asleep in minutes.


	8. Chapter 8

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Please be gentle with your reviews. This is my first ever story. **

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can.**

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! They help me as I am writing to know what is working or like in the case of the last chapter what else you want. If I know I am on the right track it helps me shift ideas and write quicker! **

"Sam!" I heard the door close and a male voice shout out.

"Fuck." I poked Sam, "Someone is here."

"What?" he shouted out at them.

"Don't let them come in here," I shoved his shoulder and he grunted but got up. I stared at his ass as he pulled on his jeans. He turned back to me with a grin before walking out, closing the door behind him. I blushed but hurried to get up and dress.

Fuck, I picked up my clothes last night but had left them sitting on the chair when we had sex again. There was no way I was going out there without my clothes. _Fuck Bella! What did you do? There is nothing to blame this on but yourself, you weren't even drunk or high for Christ's sake! Well you were definitely high on whatever voodoo shit makes you react that way to Sam. Fuck! This was a terrible idea. Desensitizing myself from him, humph, retarded, you should have just stayed away! _My self lecturing sent shockwaves of pain through my heart so I pushed out all thoughts and went into the bathroom and got in the shower focusing on the day ahead as if the previous night were only a disturbing, amazing dream and ignoring the fact that I was even now, showering in Sam's room. When I got out my clothes were on the bed. I sent up a quick prayer of thanks before pulling them on and going down the hall.

Jared raised an eyebrow at me from the couch as I came in but said nothing. I blushed and hurried into the kitchen still trying to pretend there was nothing about this morning different from any other, I was simply here to work. I could see Sam out the window with Paul and quickly averted my gaze. I poured myself a mug of coffee and hurried back down the hall to the office determined to focus only on what needed to be done.

"We have to head out." I nodded at Sam not looking up from the papers I was attempting to concentrate on. I felt his heat as he walked into the room and stood next to me waiting quietly until I looked up at him, "I'll see you later." He leaned down and kissed my temple. I felt like he wanted to say more but was glad when he didn't.

My head was swirling with so many thoughts I was refusing to focus on that it was making me dizzy. I had, had the best sleep of my life, not plagued by nightmares or strange dreams but I was already tired again as the dark thoughts twisted around my mind, my stomach churning with anxiety. I forced back the thoughts and made myself focus only on the task at hand, organizing this office.

A few hours later Kim was at the house with sandwiches and bags of chips. The office was starting to look somewhat organized though it would take me a few more days to finish.

I joined her at the table, gratefully taking a bite out of my sandwich; I had skipped breakfast and was starving.

"So?" she sat there staring at me expectantly.

"What?" I asked my mouth full.

"You slept with Sam." I blushed and took another bite of my food.

"Isabella Swan you had better start talking or else."

I laughed at her indignant shout, "Ok, ok." She nodded at me to continue before eating a chip. "I got absorbed in organizing stuff yesterday and didn't notice it was after five until Sam came into the office. He looked really tired but insisted I stay to eat so I told him to go shower while I made up something. When he came back," I blushed remembering how he had looked shirtless, his skin still damp, even now, only thinking of it made my body warm, I blushed and saw Kim sitting forward in her seat, "I don't know he came into the kitchen and kissed me and things got out of hand." I told her and shrugged.

"Got out of hand, you mean you regret sleeping with him?" I blushed again and looked away. _Did I regret it?_ I had been thinking about it all morning, despite my determination not to, and still was not sure where my head had been at any point the night before, its like my rational side had taken a vacation the moment he came in.

I hesitated, "No, not exactly, I mean he gave me plenty of opportunity to say no. I made the choice." I told her picking at the bread.

"Well I hardly thought he seduced and coerced you" she was frowning at me when I looked up at her.

"Of course not, I wanted it as much as he did."

"So why the second thoughts?"

"I'm just not that kind of girl, you know to sleep around, or have sex with her boss" it hit me then, one more little fact to squeeze into my tangled mind, "oh my god I had sex with my boss." I repeated, my voice edging on hysterical.

"You had sex with Sam what does it matter if you work for him, you knew him before."

"Yes but now things will be weird."

"I'm sure it will be fine. No one is going to think you slept with him for the job or anything. I mean no one will judge you dating Sam."

"I'm not dating Sam." I told her pushing away from the table.

"What do you mean you aren't dating Sam?"

"I mean we have never been on a date."

She laughed a little, relaxing her previously upset look slightly, "So he'll take you on a date, we could even double. It will be great."

"No, I mean I can't date Sam." I told her, my chest felt tight and it was becoming difficult to breathe.

I watched her face fall into a frown again, "Why not?"

"Because," I hesitated, what could I tell her? "He's my boss."

"So what? Its no big deal and you have already slept with him."

"Oh my god, oh my god" I sat heavily in the chair trying not to cry but unable to keep the tears from escaping. I wasn't ready for this, I couldn't do it, I felt trapped and scared, I felt like my lungs were wrapped in a vise and I couldn't get enough air.

Kim looked alarmed and got up to come sit next to me, her arms wrapping around me, "Its ok Bella. Sam is crazy about you. Everything will work out. Honest no one cares that you work for him, hell Jared only came up with the idea so Sam would get to spend time with you." She admitted.

"Oh god." I couldn't help but cry harder.

"Bella please stop crying, tell me what's wrong." He voice sounded slightly panicked.

"I slept with Sam." I forced out between sobs. I had to stop crying. This was my own fault, he had given me more than one opportunity to stop what we were doing but I hadn't. Hell I had been pushing him for it. _Why hadn't I been thinking I mean really where was my good sense? I knew I should never have taken this job; I should have stuck to my original plan of avoiding him._ I forced myself to calm down a little, "I'm so sorry Kim, I have to go. I have to go home."

"Ok." She said quietly watching me get up and hurriedly grab my things. I ran out to my car and sped home tears still streaming down my cheeks and the vise around my lungs still refusing to let me breathe properly and now my heart had started to ache.

I hurried upstairs to the bathroom and turned the water on hot and washed the smell of his soap off my skin. I stood there until the water ran cold and my tears had stopped.

I pulled on clean clothes and curled onto my bed. I opened my cell phone and rang Rylan.

"Bella?" his voice washed over me causing fresh tears to well in my eyes.

"Ry" I couldn't get my voice much more than a whisper.

"Honey, what happened?"

"I slept with him."

"With who?"

"Sam" I sobbed.

"Honey, calm down. Take a deep breath. Did he hurt you?"

"No, I, he, I wanted it. He gave me a chance to say no. I didn't. I didn't think. My head took a vacation or something, I don't know its so fucked up Ry." I told him wiping angrily at the tears.

"Ok, sweetie, listen to me. I want you to call Charlie, tell him you are going to Seattle. I will catch the first plane. Pack an overnight bag. You understand?" I nodded forgetting he couldn't see me. "Isa?"

"Yeah, ok. I will."

"Good girl. Stop crying. Stop thinking. I'll be there in a few hours."

I hung up the phone and lay there a few minutes pulling myself together. Then I got up and pulled out my backpack stuffing it full of clothes, tossing things around my room in my haste. I picked up the phone and left a message at the office, fuck I forgot to forward it to Sam when I left. Oh well. I was likely fired after this stunt anyways and grateful not to have to talk directly to him. What would I even say? _Hi Sam, I am running away to Seattle because I have no clue what is going on with me, I can't believe I slept with you because the very last thing I want is a man in my life and I am freaking out with a bad case of morning after regret. So thank you for an amazing night but don't call me. _

I pulled myself together as the operator indicated to leave a message after the tone, "Hey guys, I won't be in again this week. Sorry to do this last minute but you said I could make my own schedule. I'll see you." Hell I was practically quitting walking out like this, but I didn't care. I hung up the phone and quickly dialed the station. Dad was out on a call so I wrote him a note.

_Hey Dad._

_A friend is in Seattle so I am going there for a couple days. Sorry I didn't say anything sooner but it was sort of a surprise. Ok so I have my cell phone. I'll be careful. _

_Love you._

I taped it to the fridge and practically ran out of the house to my truck. It took four hours to drive to Seattle. I went straight to the airport; Rylan had got lucky with a flight leaving right away and had already landed by the time I got there. As soon as I saw him I burst into tears again and he pulled me into a hug. I'm not sure how long we stood there for but after a while we walked out to my truck. I handed him my keys and he drove into the city. We had still said nothing to each other.


	9. Chapter 9

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Please be gentle with your reviews. This is my first ever story. **

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can.**

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! They help me as I am writing to know what is working or like in the case of the last chapter what else you want. If I know I am on the right track it helps me shift ideas and write quicker! **

Rylan took us to one of his uncle's hotels and got us a suite. He pulled me inside and ordered room service then he went into the bathroom and ran me a bubble bath. I stripped down and climbed into the hot sudsy water. Rylan came back in after he tipped the delivery guy. He sat down on the side of the tub and began washing my long hair. I relaxed into his hands; I loved the feel of having my hair washed.

It wasn't until he had rinsed my hair and wrung it out, twisting it to a knot on the top of my head that he spoke more than a few words. I was relaxed and calm now.

"Tell me what happened honey?"

I took in a breath and explained everything to him. "It was like it wasn't me Ry, only it was you know. My mind shut off and I just let my body take over."

"Honey, you've been fighting this thing for weeks. Avoiding the reservation even Jacob to keep from seeing him. If it were just your body, just a need for sex do you think you would be this upset or would it have had to be him? You didn't react this way with anyone else and from what you've told me they are all pretty hot."

"No, it's just him. Its weird Rylan, whenever I am near him I feel like it's not close enough, like I should be beside him, touching him."

"So your instincts are telling you to be with him I don't understand what has you so set against it. Why are you fighting yourself?"

I started crying again, "I can't Ry, I can't let someone else have that kind of power over me again."

He reached out and took my hand, "Honey your mind wasn't telling you no before, it was convincing you that the way he was treating you was ok. This time it is your instincts telling you to be with Sam and your mind is clear. You wont get trapped again. I know you Isa, you are so much stronger than you realize. And you don't want to be alone all your life. You need to try to let someone in."

I nodded and he leaned over to kiss my temple before leaving me alone in the bathroom. I pulled myself together and got out of the tub. When I went into the room Rylan was sitting on the sofa eating. I picked at the food he had ordered me but I had no appetite. I fell asleep curled against him.

I woke us both screaming several times in the night. Rylan didn't mind, he'd just pull me tighter against him and talked to me until I drifted off again. We were both tired in the morning. I picked at breakfast but mostly stuck with coffee, my stomach felt off.

"So tell me what's going on with you." I asked Rylan as we left the hotel to go shopping.

"Not much. Haven't met anyone since Kyle and I split back before you left. Just been working. I miss you like mad. Thought about moving down here but shudder the thought at living somewhere so small, they'd likely come after me with bibles and pitchforks." I laughed though it was somewhat bitter; I knew that was what his mother had done. Well not the pitchfork but the bible and a priest. She said he was possessed and the evil spirit causing him to be homosexual needed to be exercised, that the devil was in him and he was dirty. I wrapped my arm around his waist and squeezed. His arm came down around my shoulders as he led us into the stores. He bought a bunch of new clothes for us both.

We were sitting in a café where I was picking at lunch when I saw Jack. He came over when I smiled at him.

"Hey Jack."

"Bella right? Kim's friend?"

"Yeah and this is my friend Rylan."

"Hi." Rylan looked up at Jack with a half smile, I looked from him back to Jack. Hmm to bad Jack wasn't single, Ry might not like the idea of living in Forks but Seattle was way better then Scottsdale.

"Nice to meet you." Jack smiled at him.

"Would you like to join us?" I asked, hell he might not be single but he might have friends who are.

"Sure, thanks, let me just get my coffee. Either of you want anything?"

"No, we're good thanks."

Jack went to get his coffee while I turned back to Rylan.

"Now he is fine. How do you know him?"

"He's my friend Kim's brother. He has a boyfriend but I'll bet he has some good looking friends."

"You trying to get me to move down here, honey."

I blushed and smiled nodding, "Seattle's a city and it's only a few hours from Forks."

"Miss me that much huh."

"You miss me the same so don't you look at me like that Rylan Morgan." I admonished him playful.

He grinned at me and winked, "you know it honey."

Jack joined us then, "You sure I'm not interrupting?" he asked hesitating sitting down.

"Of course." I smiled up at him.

"Sit." Rylan ordered pulling the chair out a little.

"What are you up to Jack?"

"Not much just doing some retail therapy. You?"

"The same actually." We laughed.

"Everything ok?" He asked. I hesitated, he knew Sam. "Sorry, you don't have to tell me anything."

"Its ok, I'm just having a freak out about a guy."

"And I take it I know him?"

"Probably, its Sam from the res."

"Sam Uley?"

"Yeah."

"He's a good guy. Kim talks about him. He was really popular in school, a year ahead of me actually. Always a nice guy even though I was an outcast. I might not have been out but people suspected since I didn't run around chasing skirt like the other guys."

"Yeah" I blushed.

"So you like him?"

"She slept with him." Rylan informed bluntly.

"Ah, and now you regret it?"

"No, yes, I'm not sure."

"Well, like I said he's a good guy. Kim speaks highly of him and when I left the reservation the council thought the sun shined out of his ass. He had disappeared for a couple months, came back to the reservation, broke up with Leah, dropped his scholarship to Washington State and starting doing work for the council. That's a couple years back now, when I left to move here."

"Wow, I figured you had only moved here this year."

"Nope, going on three years now. Miss Kim like crazy. See my brother some to but we were never close like Kim and I. My mother started sending me things through Kim even called a couple times but still at odds with dad and some of the others out there still don't take well to the idea so I avoid La Push."

"How is your boyfriend?" He shifted in his chair, "He's fine."

"The reason for your own retail therapy?" Rylan asked, prying a little which was unlike him.

"Yeah, he got a job offer in Chicago."

"You don't want to go? Or he didn't ask?" I couldn't help myself from prying as well.

"Both, sort of. I mean he just assumed I would pick up my life and move with him. I have a good job here and I might not see them much but my family is close and Kim is all I really have. I care about him, hell I moved down here to be with him but things aren't the way they used to be and I'm not as sure as I used to be." He sighed, "listen to me laying my shit on you and you don't even know me.

"Hey you listened to mine." I told him, reaching out to touch his hand.

"Alright come on you two, its time for more therapy." Rylan stood up and gathered our trash.

"I don't want to intrude on your time. You two have fun."

Rylan quirked his eyebrow, "you don't get a say" Rylan informed him with a half smile, turning to go toss out our trash.

I laughed, "It will be fun, I promise. Hell I don't even really like shopping but with Rylan its always a good time."

"Alright, if you're sure."

I shot him a friendly glare and rolled my eyes, "Come on before Ry walks back over and drags us out."

Jack laughed and followed me to where Rylan was waiting not so patiently at the door. We made our way out and towards the stores. Before long we were laughing and chatting like old friends. Jack really did remind me of Kim just a little more outgoing. I found myself thinking how good he and Rylan would be together and then felt bad for wishing bad things about Jack's current relationship.

We decided to spend another night in town and go clubbing. I called Charlie.

"Hey dad."

"Bella. I wish you had called earlier I was starting to get worried."

"Sorry dad. I am good. Rylan and I just got distracted shopping and we ran into Kim's brother. Time just flew by."

"Rylan? Your friend is a man?"

I laughed a little at his worried tone, "Don't worry, he might as well be a girl in your eyes since he bats for the other team."

"Oh, um. Ok. Well you are an adult now anyways. It's just, well,"

"What dad?"

"I thought maybe you had something with Sam. Billy says he's real sweet on you and he's a good guy Bells."

I blushed crimson, here I thought the old man wanted me with Jake but he was on Team Sam, "Oh um, I don't know dad. I work for him."

"Yeah, well about that, it's not really good to take off on your job like that Bella."

"I know, Sam said I could work my own hours, I'll go in extra next week."

"Ok Bells. When you getting back?"

"Actually we are going to spend another night here and drive back tomorrow. Rylan is going to come stay for a couple days if that's ok."

"Sure. You know I have to fly out to that Sheriff convention in the morning and I wont get back until Sunday night."

"I forgot, you have a good time."

"Sure, we'll still have dinner when I get back, to celebrate your new job right? Your friend Rylan can join us."

"Yeah of course. Ry has to leave Sunday I think though, to get back to work so it will probably just be us."

"Ok kid, sounds good. You be careful."

"I will. Love you."

"Love you to."

I hung up and went to the living room where Jack and Rylan were looking over the things we had bought.

"Ok, everything is good. Lets pick out something to wear." We all got changed and headed out to dinner. Mark, Jack's boyfriend was meeting us at the restaurant. He was really nice if a bit reserved. He protested when Rylan picked up the check insisting on paying for himself and Jack. Rylan let it go though I could tell it bothered him a bit. Rylan was a wealthy guy, hell he had inherited a fortune from his father and despite his mothers disowning him she couldn't touch the money his father left him. He also ran the hotels with his uncle now and was making his own small fortune and liked to treat his friends. He didn't see money as an issue and didn't understand when other people made it one. I used to be like that and still am with everyone but Rylan. Him I let have free rein with his money, letting him buy me what he would, having learned long ago it made him happy, limiting him only to a couple hundred dollars per shopping trip.

I wondered if Mark would be upset knowing how much Rylan had bought for Jack today. The other man had protested but when Rylan started to pout and I assured Jack it made Rylan happy he had let it go. Only insisting on buying us both a present in return. He had disappeared into a store and come out with a bag, hiding its contents and telling us we could have our gifts later in the night.

We went to the club and as usual with Rylan I was not carded. I was wearing dark skinny jeans and what Rylan and Jack described as my new fuck me boots along with a low cut silvery grey top and black leather jacket with it I also wore the long silver wolf pendant necklace Jack had bought me. Jack and Ry were both in dark wash jeans with black boots, Rylan in a red shirt, Jack in a black one. Mark wore charcoal dress pants and a white button down shirt. We got a table in the VIP section and ordered a round of drinks before getting up to dance. Mark declined so Jack stayed with him. I saw them arguing as we moved on the dance floor.

When we got back to the table a couple songs later Jack was alone.

"Mark went home." He told us. I could see the pain in his eyes.

"Lets get another round." I said sitting next to him and wrapping an arm around his waist. He slung his over my shoulder and smiled down at me, while Ry ordered us all shots.

We went back to the dance floor after that and danced until we were ready to drop. Jack crashed out on my bed that night while I slept with Rylan. He declined breakfast though to get home to Mark. We all hugged and I told him to keep in touch. I really liked Jack.

Rylan ate breakfast while I sipped my coffee and then we drove to Forks. I dozed in the car for a bit while he drove. I didn't have nightmares last night, thanks to Jose but I was feeling the pain this morning. Rylan, much more used to the effects was not hurting as much, lucky bastard.


	10. Chapter 10

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Please be gentle with your reviews. This is my first ever story. **

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can.**

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! They help me as I am writing to know what is working or like in the case of the last chapter what else you want. If I know I am on the right track it helps me shift ideas and write quicker! **

We got to Forks just after one and decided to stop at the diner for lunch. When I pulled open the door I saw Paul, Emily, Jared, Kim and Jake. The guys were all glaring at me. As soon as they saw Rylan it got worse. I saw Paul's hand tighten into a fist and Emily put her hand over it to stop the trembling. I blushed and hurried to a table away from them. I could feel my own body trembling and my eyes burned with tears I would not allow to fall.

"I take it one of them is Sam?" Rylan asked sitting down.

"No, that's Paul, Jared and Jake. The girls are Emily and Kim."

"Jack's Kim?"

"Yeah, she's the one without the bangs." Rylan looked over at the table again.

"All friends of his though."

"Yeah, Jared and Paul work for him. They've all been friends a long time."

"Want to get this to go?"

"Please." I looked up at him gratefully.

"You know you have to face them all sooner or later."

"I know."

"And you have to talk to Sam."

"I know, Ry, I know."

"Ok."

Ry got up and went to the counter to order our takeout while I slipped back out to the car. I sat back and closed my eyes trying to stop the tremors in my hands by clenching and unclenching my fists. Telling myself I would not cry.

A minute later I heard a tap on the window and jumped opening my eyes to see Kim standing beside the truck. I rolled down the window.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" she asked shifting from one foot to another.

"Fine. Sorry about the other day, freaking out on you like that."

"Um, its ok. Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah. I just needed to clear my head."

"Whose your friend?"

"Rylan, he's my best friend, flew into Seattle for a few days. We actually saw your brother there, went out together. He's great. Reminds me a lot of you."

"Yeah," Kim smiled, "did you meet Mark?"

"Yeah, he met us for dinner." I looked away guilty because I still wanted Rylan and Jack to get together.

"They seemed a bit off when they were here."

"I guess, they are having some issues or something with Mark's work. Jack was great though."

"And you are ok?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Just tired." I could tell she wanted to say more, but I was grateful when she didn't.

"Ok, well, maybe we can hang out soon. Are you working tomorrow?"

"No, Rylan is here through the weekend so I'll go in on Monday." I groaned inwardly, "if I still have a job." I added looking away again.

"Of course you do, but maybe you should call Sam." She looked away uncomfortable, "Jared can get a hold of him if you can't."

"Thanks Kim." I was grateful to see Rylan coming out of the diner; "I'll call you later. Tell Jared and Paul I'm sorry to, I'll have that office organized next week." _As if that was what they were upset about_. I reminded myself and bit my lip, trying to stop the tears that had welled into my eyes again.

"I will. Bye Bella." She turned and walked back into the diner, I saw her nod at Rylan as he passed.

We went back to my house, we ate our lunch and curled up on the couch to watch a movie until dinner. Rylan picked up our trash from the diner takeout as I went into the kitchen to make us something.

He sat on the counter while I cooked. "You need to eat honey."

"I'm cooking now." I looked over at him confused.

"You've barely had a bite of anything since I flew out and I'm guessing you didn't eat much earlier that day either."

"I'm just not hungry," I sighed, "my stomach kind of hurts."

"You should call him honey."

"Tomorrow. I'll call him tomorrow."

He jumped off the counter and put on the radio, we sang and danced around the kitchen while I cooked. I forced down a fajita to keep him from worrying while he ate three.

He cleaned up the kitchen while I went and got ready for bed. We curled up to watch more movies until we both passed out on the sofa.

"Lets go to the beach today."

"To La Push?" I asked him hesitating.

"You can't avoid him forever."

"I know."

"Are you going to call him?"

"Later Ry, I'll call him later."

He sighed and left the kitchen calling after me. "Get your shit, we are going to the beach.

There was no arguing with him when he used that tone so I finished our breakfast dishes and went upstairs to change. We drove out to the beach and I could feel my stomach rolling. _Would they be there?_

Thankfully the beach was still relatively empty when we spread out our towels and lay down in the sun. We listened to music and the sound of the waves, drifting in and out of sleep as we talked quietly.

A few hours later I felt eyes burning into me. _Sam._ I sat up and looked down the beach. He was there with Jared and Quil. Rylan heard my sharp intake of breath and sat up, he looked over at the guys and back to me wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"Can we leave now?" I couldn't get my voice above a whisper, couldn't stop the trembling that had started to wrack my entire body, and couldn't take my eyes off Sam.

"Sure honey lets go." Rylan stood up and pulled me to my feet. I helped him pick up our things; glancing back, Sam and the guys were gone. I heard a wolf howling in pain and shivered, hurrying back to the truck.

"So that was Sam."

I nodded as I leaned against the door while he drove us home.

"He looks like hell."

I frowned looking over at him, "He's beautiful." I told him.

Rylan laughed, "He's sexy as all hell honey but he still looks like hell."

"What do you mean?"

"The man looks like he hasn't slept in days and I'd bet he hasn't eaten in as long as you."

"I ate breakfast and dinner."

"You ate one mini fajita last night and drank coffee this morning."

"I told you, I my stomach feels off."

"You should talk to him."

"Why are you pushing me, you never push me." I snapped at him as he pulled up to my house.

"Somebody needs to" he snapped back.

I got out of the truck and slammed the door, "I need a friend Ry, that's it."

"I am your friend Isabella, that's why I am pushing. I have never seen you like this. It might not make sense but why does it have to?" His voice was starting to rise as he slammed out of the truck after me.

I walked into the house leaving open the door for him, "Why shouldn't it? Why can't I just be left alone?"

"You called me Isabella. I came now you get to put up with me." He yelled back slamming the front door.

"Well maybe you should leave."

"Fuck that! Listen to me you stubborn bitch, I love you, you're my sister and I would do anything for you and if that means kicking you into gear then that is what I'll do. I left it alone when you needed me to leave it alone but maybe I shouldn't have left it so long. I thought coming here would be good for you but you just came here to fucking hide."

"I am not hiding Rylan. I came here to start fresh."

"Then start fresh. Call Sam."

"I can't." I was crying now.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm scared!" I shouted back at him sobbing.

Rylan came over and pulled me into his arms, "I know you are honey." He whispered his hand running over my hair. He sat us on the couch while I cried.

"I lost myself Rylan, with… _him_, I can't do that again, I wont."

"Being with someone else doesn't mean you have to loose yourself to him honey. You be and do whatever you want. I wont let you disappear and I wont let him push me out of your life. You wont be isolated or alone. I promise."

I nodded sniffling into his chest, "I already feel so overwhelmed when he is near."

"He makes you feel lost? Are you afraid when he is around?"

"No, yes. I don't know. No. I feel, safe like he'll make everything better and that scares me."

"It scares me too honey but we both of us deserve to be happy. I know it's hard because if you don't try you don't risk getting hurt but honey you are already hurting. I want to see you happy."

"I know. I want to try but every time I think about it my mind yells at me to run away and hide. Its like there are two of me having an all out war in my head." I confided, knowing of all people Rylan wouldn't think I was nuts.

"Honey," Rylan pulled back and looked into my eyes, "When I was younger I started to like a guy in my class. I told myself it was crazy, I was not gay, there was no way." Rylan had never told me about before he came out, so I listened intently as he spoke, his warm voice washing over me and calming my racing heart, "I tried to make myself like girls but I wasn't attracted to them. I even forced myself to get a girlfriend. She started pushing for sex but I told her I couldn't before marriage. She knew I came from a traditional Catholic family, hell her family might not have been as strict as mine but we went to the same church so she accepted it. My mind kept telling me to be with her, to be happy with her but I wasn't. My instincts were screaming at me to break up with her, my body was crying out to be with the guy at my school,"

He sighed and looked away for a minute but continued, "I was shamefully cruel to him instead. He was openly gay and I wanted him. I tried to convince myself I didn't. One day I was picking on him, he said I should just fuck off and come out already. He had no idea how on the nail he had hit. I shoved him against a wall but instead of hitting him I kissed him. I think his heart stopped in shock. I know mine did. I pushed away from him and walked away. That night I broke up with my girlfriend and went out to get air. I walked to his house and knocked on the door. His mother was a real nice lady. She let me in and god knows why he agreed to talk to me after the way I was to him but he did." A small smile pulled at the corners of his mouth, "We talked all night."

It faded and his voice went bitter as he continued, "The next day I came out to my mother. When things went the way they did, he and his mom took me in until graduation. School was hell and I still had over a year to go. Then I moved to Scottsdale after grad and a little later I met you."

"What happened to him?"

"Matt, he's moved to New York. We talk a lot still. He's with a great guy named Kevin. We never got together, he became my best friend, helped me a lot. It wasn't easy honey but sometimes our instincts, or body, they tell us things that our mind doesn't always listen to. Part of us deep inside knows things but our minds tell us not to listen. It's the other way around though. You need to listen to the other part and let all the insecurity and fear of your brain go." I hugged him tightly again and we sat back on the couch for a while in silence while I thought about all he had said.

"Rylan?"

"Yeah honey?"

"Do you think you'd be ok by yourself for a while?"

He pulled away from me and smiled "Yeah honey, I'd be just fine."

"I think I'll go for a walk, clear my mind."

"Of course honey." He leaned over and kissed my forehead.

"Thank you for telling me all that."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. I just want you to be happy."

"I know. I love you Ry."

"I love you to Isa. Now go on and go. I'll order in some dinner and watch some tv. Hell if you don't mind I might call Matt, I'll leave cash for the long distance."

"Go right ahead, and don't worry about the charges, we have a good long distance plan to keep in touch with Renee." I hugged him again and got up, taking my keys I got into my truck and drove around a while. I ended up at the path to the cliffs.

I pulled my keys out of the ignition and walked out, sitting on a log near the edge, looking out across the water, letting my mind empty.

I'm not sure how long I sat there when I heard movement in the woods behind me. I turned to look, a slight whorl of fear curling in my stomach.

"What are you doing here?" Paul demanded stepping into view.

"Thinking" I told him, my voice no higher than a whisper.

"That was a real bitch move, walking out on Sam." He snapped at me.

"I know" I nodded and bit back tears looking out across the water.

"What are you afraid of?" his voice was softer now, curious.

"Everything" I admitted wiping at the tears that had begun to fall.

I heard movement and felt his eyes on me but I continued to stare out at the water. After a minute he sat next to me, looking out at the horizon as well.

"You aren't worthless." He said after a while.

"What?" I turned to look at him but he was still staring out over the water.

"Its what he always used to say to my mother and I, that we were worthless. I'd hear him screaming at her at night that she was dirty, a worthless whore. Most days I'd try to distract him, make him hit me and not her. Every time he came back, she let him in. She was weak, you aren't." I saw his jaw tighten, but he continued to speak, "My mother was weak, she didn't fight back, she didn't protect herself or her kid but she wasn't worthless and neither are you."

"I" I didn't know what to say. Why was he telling me this? What did he know? He couldn't know anything, it happened over a year ago, far from here, in Phoenix, before I had even met him and not even Rylan knew everything.

"It's in your eyes." He told me, finally turning to look at me, "I don't know what happened Bella and I sure as hell haven't mentioned it to Sam though he knows there is something, everyone does. It's why you moved here isn't it? That's what Charlie thinks."

"Charlie?"

"He and Billy are best friends, they talk, we hear." He shrugged again.

"Right." I turned to look back out over the water, fighting back the tears threatening again.

"I don't need to know what it was Bella but you need to know that Sam wont hurt you, he couldn't, its just not in him. It's in you though, to hurt him, and you are."

"We just met, its not…"

"It is and you know it."

"I'm so confused and scared." I admitted in a small voice. I didn't know why I was talking to him, I didn't even know him and he was always glaring at me, but he had opened up to me and I felt at ease in his presence.

He sighed, "I know, but you don't have to be scared. No one will ever hurt you here. No one will ever hurt you again."

His voice had gone hard at the end and warmth began to spread in my chest, somewhere deep inside I knew he spoke the truth. "I don't understand what is happening."

"Do you need to? Do the whys really matter Bella? You love Sam; he loves you. What else is there to know?"

As soon as he said I loved Sam I knew he was right, I just wasn't sure how that was possible. I didn't believe in love at first sight and Sam and I didn't know each other. I was surprised the thought didn't send terror through me. I also felt a burst of happiness when he said Sam loved me too, could he really?

I felt Paul's arm settle over my shoulder and I snuggled into his side, curling into the warmth he provided. We sat like that staring out over the cliff as the sun began to set into the water.

"I should get back to Rylan." I told him sitting up and a little away from his warmth.

His face automatically shifted, a dark frown forming on his face again, "Who is he?"

"A friend from home."

"Why is he here?" his voice was cold and hard.

"I called him." I told him meekly.

"Why?" he demanded, no hint of softness to his voice.

I looked away from him again, pushing off the ground, "he understands."

"Understands what?"

"Me." I was crying again now, I hadn't cried so much since… well, in a long time anyways.

Paul stood up and I stunned me when he pulled me into his arms, "I do to, Bella." I sobbed into his chest a while as he rubbed soothing circles into my back, "Sam would to if you just let him in a little, I promise he wont ever hurt you, he'll take care of you Bella. We all will. I will." I just nodded and held onto him while I cried.

When the tears stopped I took in several deep breaths and stepped away. I felt better, lighter, like the tears had finally washed the part of my soul clean. I was still afraid but somehow Paul had made me feel braver, stronger.

"I'm sorry for crying on you like that, I don't know" my voice broke.

"You can talk to me Bella. I wont ever judge." He reached out and wiped away the remains of my tear, "I'm always here."

"Thank you." I smiled weakly at him.

"Come on, its getting dark. I'll walk you back to your truck.

I climbed into my truck. I put my keys in the ignition but sat there thinking for a minute. Before I could second guess myself I looked back at Paul standing a few feet away waiting for me to go and waved before shifting into gear and turning my truck the opposite way of Forks and heading towards the res, to Sam.


	11. Chapter 11

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can.**

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! They help me as I am writing to know what is working or like in the case of the last chapter what else you want. If I know I am on the right track it helps me shift ideas and write quicker! **

**Ok so here it is again, SAM POV**

**And it's a looooong one; you can thank my insomnia for it…**

It was so hard staying away from her but I knew it was what she wanted. My emotions were too unstable and I couldn't sleep right. Most nights I lay in the woods near her house. Charlie offered to find more things for me to fix but I told him no. I couldn't invade her personal space like that.

The pack was beginning to feel my anxiety and pain. It was a constant ache inside me. I needed her. They were all trying to think of anything to help. Even Charlie and Billy were plotting though I knew Charlie was refusing to push her. I respected him for that. He knew something was going on with his daughter and wouldn't push her even if he knew I could never hurt her. When he came to visit Billy he would send me sympathetic looks. He knew I had taken to sleeping outside his house and when Jared made a comment about Kim's scent relaxing him Charlie brought me a bottle of her lotion.

I could have laughed and cried at the same time. It was vanilla scented but I could smell the chemical undertones, Bella's scent was pure and clean, vanilla, honey and that flower.

I knew her exams were over and I nearly went mad with the thought that she might leave now. Kim said she wouldn't but she might change her mind, she had that option. What would I do if she left me?

I was a wreck but the pack picked up the slack. I snapped at them more but they took it in stride, even Paul who angered so easily just shrugged off my ill temper. He was also oddly silent on the matter of Bella; his thoughts were on his mother or Emily when we ran. I vaguely wondered what was going on with him but didn't question him on it. If he wanted to talk he'd come to us. Paul had always kept things to himself.

Then came the day Jared walked into my house grinning like a loon. I wanted to hit him when he walked in, "What do you want?" I snapped at him popping the top off a beer and taking a swig.

"For you to stop being a dick." He told me still grinning; he looked like the goddamn Cheshire cat.

I just growled at him.

"Seriously man, you should be kissing my feet right about now. As it is I am expecting at least a few days patrol free for what I have done."

I frowned at him; my interest slightly peaked, "well?"

"I got your imprint to the reservation."

I wanted to smack off the smirk, "I know, Emily called when you two showed up at hers." As if I could go there, I'd have probably chased her off the res and then she'd likely not have come back.

"Not today asshole. She came down on her own today. Ran into her on the beach."

"So what? Even if she comes back I can't go to her, not when she doesn't want me. Stupid fucking imprint wont let me, not if it upsets her."

"You aren't going to her, she's coming to you." He told me his smirk returning in full force but it didn't have the same effect on me, I didn't want to hit him anymore but my lungs felt ready to burst.

"What? When? How?"

"Monday. If you call her anyways."

"What? Why? Jared?" I growled at him, fucker needed to stop grinning and start talking.

"I offered her a job."

"You what?" I asked still confused, my brain didn't seem to be firing on all cylinders.

"We were talking about the summer and work and she has some interview with that Newton Sports place in Forks but Bella and sports don't really mesh. I told her about work and then about the office shit and it hit me like a semi. We hire Bella to do the office shit for us. She'll be here in your house several times a week. Shit, she can't be to scared of you if she said yes."

"She said yes?" I couldn't get my lungs to work right and my heart was pounding so fast I could barely hear Jared over the rushing of blood through my veins.

"Yup. Said she had no experience in office work but if you'd have her she'd be in Monday." I could have kissed him. "Am I a genius or what?"

"You are a wolf with a week off patrols." I told him grinning like a cat that got the cream. Bella would be in my house on a weekly basis. I would make her trust me. Slowly. I would find a way to break through to her, to be her friend. That was all I could hope for; I wouldn't hope to make her my mate. I wouldn't be greedy; I just needed to be near her, I needed her to let me be close to her.

Jared started laughing, and for the first time in weeks I felt light enough to laugh. It still hurt but I knew I would see her soon so the pain was easier to take.

The next day I called her. Her voice came over the phone and soothed my soul. She thought she was coming for an interview so I assured her she was already hired. I didn't care if she had never worked in an office, I didn't care if she came to the house and sat on the couch watching tv and eating chocolate I would still hire her. I just wanted her to come to the house. The thought of her in my home sent tingles through my spine. I had to have her here. I wouldn't let myself imagine her as mine. Wearing my ring, carrying my child. No, I couldn't allow myself that dream. But being here where I could protect her, laughing and talking with me. Yes I would settle for being her friend. I'd be anything she'd let me be. Just please god let her let me into her life. I couldn't keep living like this.

Sunday night was Jared's last patrol before he got the week off I promised him so I let him crash out at my place. He and Kim were looking for a place of their own. Her parents weren't too happy, her mother was livid, she didn't like Jared, didn't like anyone who was set to stay on the reservation, she wanted Kim to go away to school and marry a wealthy man with a good career. Her father accepted it because he went with whatever the council approved and they approved of Kim and Jared. I had thought about letting them move in here but Jared's mom was letting Kim move in with them. They were going to pack up her things and move her later in the week.

I sat up half the night; to anxious to sleep, my Bella was coming in the morning.

When Jared rolled in at half past four I was still awake.

"You need to sleep man."

"I know."

"Time we heading to the site?"

"Take the morning off, Paul and I can finish up at the Farris place in the morning. Head out and meet us at the Wilson place in Forks after lunch. His contractors fucked up and he asked if we could come in and finish the job right."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, get some sleep. Make sure Bella has lunch before you head over though."

"Sure, sure." He said heading down the hall. Calling out behind him, "You should sleep Sam, you look like shit." I growled at him but he just laughed knowing it wasn't serious.

I took his advice and tried to sleep.

When I heard her truck I was on my second mug of coffee. I couldn't believe she was here, at my house.

I went to the door and watched her climb out of the truck. Damn she was beautiful.

She seemed a little hesitant so I tried to give her space. When I told her she would be working in my home and not an office I thought she might leave. I was relieved when she didn't. I showed her around the house and went over the work she would be doing. She was smart and I could already see her mind working to mentally organize all the paperwork.

The ache had lessened as soon as I had seen her but it was still there like a fist around my heart. I couldn't understand why. I felt the pull to her as I left my house and climbed into my truck. I sat for a minute trying to understand what I was feeling.

I pulled out my cell and called Paul.

"Sam?"

"Head over to the site, I'm going to be late."

"Figured as much, how's Bella?"

"Fine. She'll do a good job organizing shit I'm sure."

"Not what I meant."

"I know."

"What is it Sam?"

Jared and Paul had changed several months after me, almost a year before any of the others, they had been best friends growing up and since we all lost our other friends after the change we became close, they were my best friends, still I hesitated, not entirely sure what I was feeling, "It still hurts."

"What?"

"The imprint. She's here and it still hurts."

"Shit."

"Not as much but the ache is there. I'm heading over to see Billy."

"Right. I've got this shit covered."

"Call Seth if you need help. I wont be long."

"Sure, sure. I can handle it. Go."

I hung up the phone and drove to Billy's.

Jake pulled open the door as I reached the porch.

"What's up man?"

"I need to speak to Billy."

"Sure, sure. Everything ok? I thought you'd still be with Bella."

"Yeah, fine, just don't want to crowd her."

"Don't worry Sam. She feels the pull. She can't keep fighting it." I just nodded and followed him into the house. "Dad, Sam's here for you!" Jake hollered.

"In the kitchen." Billy called back.

"I'll leave you to it." Jake said moving around me and back towards the front door. "Be in the garage!" he called out leaving the house. He would see it all later in my head, there were no secrets in the pack, but we all liked the illusion of privacy.

"What's happened Sam?" Billy asked motioning to a kitchen chair as I walked in.

"Bella's at my house."

"I know. Smart boy, Jared."

"Yeah. I gave him the week off patrols."

"So what's wrong?"

"It still hurts."

"What do you mean?"

"She was there in my house and the pain eased but I could still feel the ache. I just want to take her in my arms to convince myself she is really there and it's not my senses lying to me or a terrible and wonderful dream."

"Yes, well" Billy paused thinking a few minutes, "I think," he paused again and I shifted on my seat in impatience.

I waited a full minute before interrupting his thoughts, "You think?"

"The imprint might be damaged."

"Damaged?" I could hear the panic in my own voice.

"Well no not damaged really," he assured me, "more like its stronger in a way. We had feared something like this happening with how things were going."

"I don't understand."

"Well now, we can't be sure Sam, we don't know a whole lot about it but going on what we do know, I think the pull wont be satisfied until you are together."

"But Bella doesn't want me. And the imprint is supposed to make us what they want. I'll do that, be anything for her. I have to be in her life Billy, I know that but I wont push her for more. God, I might loose her if I did."

"Yes, well, the legends says the wolf is what she needs not what she might want."

"So she doesn't have a choice? None of them do?"

"You're her perfect match Sam, why would she choose anything less?"

"She doesn't want me Billy."

"Whatever is going on with Bella we don't know she doesn't want you Sam, we only know she is afraid of something."

"So what makes you think being with her will satisfy the bond?"

"You remember what happened to Paul after the accident with Emily?"

I couldn't help but give him a look like he was crazy, "Of course, we lived it through him a hundred times, it's not something you forget."

"Yes well, I think it's similar to that."

"I didn't hurt Bella."

"No but part of you has convinced yourself you have. You stayed away from her because being near her hurt her. Paul stayed away from Emily because he hurt her. The pull is getting stronger to fight that urge to stay away from your imprint even though you feel you are protecting her by doing it."

"Yeah but as soon as Emily got around her didn't feel the ache."

"Well no, but Emily accepted the imprint."

"So you think it will hurt until Bella knows about the imprint?"

"It's possible."

"I don't want to force her to choose me like that. I promised Charlie I wouldn't tell her until after it was what she wanted."

"Yes well you should not have done that. Bella needs to know and Charlie understands that now. He doesn't want to see you suffer."

"I can't Billy. Not yet."

"I think, maybe…"

"What?"

"Well… damnit, she's practically my niece." Billy looked away from me, shifting in his wheelchair.

"Billy?"

"We think, maybe, you should try and…" he took a breath and I could see him pulling himself together, "you should take Paul's approach."

"Huh?" I frowned at him, could he be saying what I thought he was? I mean Paul had… Emily knew his reputation and before she knew about the imprint she wanted nothing to do with him, until they… did he want me to?

"He means you should sleep with my daughter."

I nearly jumped out of my skin, how did I not hear him coming? Or have smelt him in the house, heard his heart beat something, I was a damn werewolf and the Police Chief of Forks had just snuck up on me, "Charlie?"

He shifted uneasily on his feet; "I don't want to have this conversation with you, ever, not after you're married or even after you have kids, understand? This conversation is never happening again." I just nodded, "Whatever is wrong with my daughter she isn't talking. She is stubborn and will fight this and then you will both suffer. You are meant for each other you just need to make her see it herself."

"What?" I felt slow or something, I still couldn't believe I was having this conversation with them let alone fully take in what he was saying.

"Seduce her." Billy provided.

I just shook my head in shock.

"From what I understand Emily was fighting the bond until she and Paul… and then they couldn't fight it." Charlie looked away, "If it helps my daughter…"

I stood up, my chair knocking backwards into the wall, "Are you two nuts? She was afraid to be in a room alone with me."

"I'm not saying it needs to be today, but try to get as close to her as she'll allow, keep pushing her, just push gently, she'll give into the pull. Hopefully soon. We don't know what kind of damage can be done if you both keep fighting it."

"And so help me if you hurt my daughter I will pump your giant wolfy ass so full of buckshot you wont be sitting for a year. Then I'll do it again. I might not be able to kill you but it sure will still hurt like a bitch." Charlie warned.

I shook my head at him, I felt like I had entered a parallel universe. "What if she runs?"

"She might anyways." Billy's words send such a jolt of pain through me I had to sit down.

"I don't know if I can."

"Maybe you should talk to Paul about this. I don't want to know how you plan to seduce my daughter." Charlie looked a little green.

"I don't want to know about it either." Billy added.

"I mean I don't know if I can push her."

"You can, you have to. Just wait for the right moment."

"I need a beer." Charlie ran a hand through his hair. I'd have reminded him it was still the morning but we had just been talking about me trying to seduce his eighteen-year-old daughter. Hell I needed one.

We sat in silence a moment and I pulled myself together, "I gotta head to the site."

"Yeah." Charlie nodded, not looking at me.

"Good luck kid." Billy sent me a small smile. I nodded and left.

Paul was almost finished when I got to the site. I waved at him and got started, working in silence as I thought about what Billy and Charlie had said, trying not to think about the latter being her father, it was bad enough Billy thought of her as family but talking about seducing her with her father, that was to much.

We finished early and headed to the diner for lunch. Leah was working. As soon as she saw us she put up an order for fries and came over. It was busy so she didn't stay to chat; she took our order then went off to put it in. The fries were up so she brought them over to our table before moving onto the next table.

"So what did Billy say?" Paul finally asked.

"To follow in your footsteps." Paul's eyebrows lifted as he looked at me questioningly, "he told me to seduce her." Paul started laughing quietly, even Leah's ears had perked up and her attention was on our conversation as she brought drinks over to a table of kids. "Her father was there." I added. Paul began laughing harder.

Leah came back over to the table, "what did Charlie say?" he demanded, apparently Paul was taking to long to ask.

"Basically, that I should sleep with his daughter and solidify the bond."

Paul fell off his chair he was laughing so hard now. Leah rolled her eyes at him, her own lips twitching.

"Are you going to?"

"I don't know if I can."

This time she rolled her eyes at me "As I recall you never had a problem with it before."

Paul had pulled himself back into his chair, "Yeah, I know it's been a while but its like riding a bike," I growled lowly, "besides you live in my mind just use some of my tricks." Leah and I both rolled our eyes at him this time.

"Sam, you're hot, she's definitely attracted to you, add the pull and she won't be able to resist." Leah put a hand on my shoulder, great first Billy and her father now my ex-girlfriend I had once thought I was going to marry.

"She's afraid of me." I reminded them.

Paul turned serious, "We don't know what she was afraid of."

"And Billy wouldn't have suggested it if he thought there was a way she could be hurt. Hell Charlie would have shot you for thinking about it if he didn't think it was the only way." I nodded, knowing she was right.

"When I first met Emily she didn't want to have anything to do with me, not with my rep, but once we mated she couldn't fight the bond. Maybe its what Bella needs, once the bond is solid she'll know she's safe with you, she wont be able to question that."

"You could always tell her."

"I can't Leah."

"Why?"

"I don't want to trap her like that."

"She's already affected Sam. Emily and Kim, they chose us but in the end it wasn't really a choice. The pull is to strong." Paul admitted looking down at the table.

"So you don't think she'll run to the nearest mental ward and point them my way?"

Leah snorted, "Not if you prove it."

"Yeah giving her a heart attack's a great idea Leah." Paul rolled his eyes at her, "Stick to seduction man. Make her want you, then love you, then tell her."

"Cause that's not trapping her." Leah rolled her eyes.

"Billy and Charlie wouldn't have suggested it if they thought just telling her would do it" he threw her earlier words back at her.

Leah rolled her eyes at him again and turned back to me, "Just listen to your instincts Sam. I gotta get back to work." She moved away from the table and went over to where a group of kids were impatiently waiting.

Sue brought our plates over a moment later, "Everything alright boys?"

"Charlie told Sam to screw his daughter." Paul told her.

She chocked and sputtered at him, looking over to me, "What?"

"I went to see Billy this morning when I left Bella. My heart still hurt when I was with her so I wanted to see if he knew why. He thinks the imprint is getting stronger because we are fighting the pull."

"And Charlie?"

"He was there. Billy thinks I need to cement the imprint. Charlie agrees. I'm just not sure I can."

"Well dear, I…" Sue hesitated, as a council member and the mother of my former girlfriend I knew her as a strong confident woman, I had never seen her hesitate like this, "I am sure… well… I believe… you and my daughter…" her cheeks turned slightly red.

"Mother!" Leah hissed coming over again.

"You were together several years Leah, I am not so old or slow I don't know some of what you two got up to." She told her daughter, her chin higher again though the color still stained her cheeks, "What I mean to say Sam, is I am sure you are experienced enough in the matter and with the pull I am sure it will work out fine. Maybe try making her dinner." The color on her cheeks darkened a shade, "Now Leah, we ought to be getting back to it." She turned and walked away from the table. Leah just shrugged at us and walked away. Paul was nearly chocking on silent laughter.

I can't believe I had a conversation with my imprints father about seducing her and then got advice from my ex-girlfriends mother on the matter after being told she knew I had taken her daughters innocence.

Paul and I hurried to eat our meals and head out to meet Jared at the site. Paul was still snickering but I ignored him. Jared was already there when we got to the house. He had biscuits with him; apparently my Bella had cooked for him. It sent a warm tingly feeling in my stomach knowing Bella was making herself at home there. The biscuits melted when you bit into them, such buttery goodness. I took two more and went to work. I could hear Paul telling him everything. They were both laughing like loons.

"You two don't get to work I'll shift you double patrols." I called back to them.

"I have the week off." Jared reminded me.

"Not if you don't stop laughing and get that wall taken down. Never seen such a bad dry wall job."

The boys knew I was only taking the piss about double patrols but got to work anyways. When four-thirty rolled around we called it a day.

I wondered if Bella had left yet and found myself taking a little detour to drive past her house, her truck wasn't there. I drove home, excited and nervous to see her again.

I was still sat in my truck just staring at the house when my phone rang, "Yeah?"

"Bella isn't home yet." It was Charlie.

I gulped, "No, I just got home, her trucks still here."

"Well, then, um, I wont expect her home."

I swallowed again, my throat was dry, "I don't know."

"I'm going up to Sue's for dinner with Billy, make sure she eats."

"I will."

"Night then." Charlie's voice was gruff and I could hear him shuffling through the phone, this was not a comfortable conversation for either of us.

"Night sir."

I hung up the phone and forced myself out of the truck. I walked slowly, part of me wanting to run inside and pull her into my arms, hell I had her father's goddamn permission to fuck her; I should be ecstatic. I felt only trepidation.

She didn't hear me come in. I walked down to the den and stood in the doorway. Her brow was furrowed in concentration as she scanned over and moved papers around the room into different piles. She looked so damn cute.

I cleared my throat and rapped my knuckles on the wood of the doorframe. She looked up and my heart twisted, those honey eyes pulled at my soul.

"You're still here?"

She looked around her as though surprised to find it getting dark, "Oh um, yeah, I lost track of time."

"Its quarter past." I told her, as she seemed to be looking.

"Ok well I should get going home then."

Her words sent pain through me but I was almost accustomed to it now and she made no move to stand which left a little hope, it was enough, Charlie and Billy had said to push her a little, "You made Jared lunch."

"Oh um yeah, I told him I'd bring something tomorrow, I don't want to use all your food."

"Its part of the deal." I shrugged, of course I would feed her, I would take care of her every need or desire. "You made the biscuits he brought?"

"Yeah, they are better warmed up."

"Thought they were good." I stared at her, not sure exactly what to do, I felt unsteady around her, all my confidence fading, I was a goddamn alpha werewolf and I was nervous about hitting on my own imprint. Luckily, I remembered Sue's suggestion and my promise to Charlie, "You hungry?"

She was squirming a bit but I didn't smell the acrid scent of fear, "Um, yeah, I guess, I really should get home to feed Charlie."

"He's at Sue's, come on, you worked late today, let's eat." I didn't wait for her to say no, just turned and went into the kitchen, giving her space to follow, I wanted to push her a little not crowd her.

I went into the kitchen looking into the cupboards for something to make her.

I wanted to make something nice but my culinary skills were limited despite the amount I ate. I felt off balance. Fighting the urge to grab her close to me and the other one I didn't even want to acknowledge the tiny weak spot in me that wanted to go to my room and hide from her and the pain the imprint caused. I wanted to free her from her pain and free her from being tied to me since it was obviously not what she wanted.

"Are you alright Sam?"

She sounded so concerned, "Long day is all."

"You don't need to feed me, just rest. I should have left already."

"No." I didn't mean to snap at her but I didn't want her to leave "I like the company." I told her honestly.

She just stared at me for a minute and I shifted uncomfortably on my feet, I was shocked by the next words out of her mouth, "Why don't you go shower, sit on down and relax while I make something then." My imprint wanted to take care of me?

This was supposed to be my way closer to her though, Sue had said to cook for her. "You don't have to, I can cook."

She walked towards me as she spoke next, "I'm sure you can but I like it and you're tired. Now go, out of my kitchen." She gave me a little push out of the kitchen, had she just called it her kitchen? I made myself look away from her and walk down the hall, but I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face, for the first time the pain had receded into the dullest of aches. My imprint was here in my house cooking in my, no in _her_ kitchen. She had claimed it, claimed her space in my home, in our home, because it was hers to, everything I had, everything I was belonged to her, if only she would claim it.

I took my time in the shower, letting the hot water relax my tense muscles and the happiness spread as I played Bella's word's over again in my head, 'go, out of _my_ kitchen.'

I pulled on a pair of comfortable dark wash jeans not bothering with grabbing a shirt. I rarely wore one on the reservation, since phasing most of us didn't, it was just easier.

I walked back out to the main room, Bella heard me coming. I just stood there and stared at her. She looked so beautiful, so right there. I knew she belonged here with me.

She had stopped what she was doing when she heard me enter and was staring back at me. I could see her eyes darken with lust as they roamed my body. I felt my cock twitch. I wanted her like I had never wanted a woman. I forced my feet to stay rooted to the ground, I wanted to push her gently into wanting me not take her like a wild animal on the kitchen counter which is exactly what my body screamed at me to do.

Then it hit me. Her scent. It filled my nostrils and went straight to my cock. I was instantly harder than I had ever been. I couldn't stop my feet from moving forward. She turned to face me as I moved around the island towards her. I kept moving forward, backing her into the counter. I lifted her chin so I could see her eyes, I couldn't smell fear in her but my senses were clouded with the scent of her arousal, I had to see her eyes. Her pupils were dilated with lust and she stared up at me, her lips slightly parted, her breathing a little heavier than normal. I leaned down and touched my lips to hers. When she leaned into me I groaned and begged her for entrance to taste her sweet mouth. She opened to me. I kissed her deeply pushing down the wolf part of me screaming at me to take her, to claim her, _mine, mate, mine,_ my head chanted at me.

I lifted her onto the counter and stepped between her legs, her hands moved across my chest and I shivered at her touch as it sent little electric pulses along my skin.

Then she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me tighter to her. The world could have ended, a leech walked right into my house and I would not have cared. I was kissing my imprint, finally I could touch her, hold her to me. Only the need to breath had me pulling away but still I kissed along her jaw and the corner of her mouth. I felt her lips on my collarbone and another moan escaped me as her little tongue darted out to taste my skin.

I had to kiss her again, I could smell her arousal and it was all but driving me insane with need. I was almost lost to the world in her. Almost. A scent was pushing itself past the sweetness of her arousal. _Oh fuck!_ My mind registered the scent as smoke. I pulled away and let the expletive slip, turning away from my imprint was painful but I turned to the stove to see whatever she had been making a blackened smoking mess.

I turned off the stove and put the pan in the sink, it hissed as I turned the water onto it, the coldwater instantly turning to steam against the heat of the pan.

I stood over the sink trying to make my mind work; all I wanted to do was pull her back into my arms. It was taking every ounce of strength I possessed not to. "I'm sorry Bella." I apologized, she might have been attracted to me but I didn't need to attack her like that. I was going to push her slowly, make her want me, it would be seduction yes but to loving me, not like this, not pushing her to sleep with me, it had to be her choice, it had to.

I heard her jump off the counter and prepared myself to hear the door, instead I felt her arms wrap around my waist. I turned and looked down at her. Her hand went to my face. She ran her finger across my jaw to my shoulder and down my chest, leaving a warm tingly feeling behind.

The wolf pushed forward and I growled, a fresh wave of her scent filled my senses and I pulled her into my arms kissing her deeply as her legs wrapped around my waist.

She kissed me back and I moved us to the nearest wall, resting her back against it. Then I kissed her until the wolf clawed at the surface and I knew I wouldn't be able to cage it, I had to stop. I pulled back and she whimpered. She fucking whimpered, my cock twitched and ached at the sound, "Fuck Bella, I have to stop."

She started kissing my jaw up to my ear then bit my lobe lightly. I let out a warning growl and ground against her. I had never needed a woman so badly. I was drowning in her scent.

"Bella, please," I knew I sounded desperate but I needed her to stop this, I sure as hell couldn't.

What she asked next nearly undid me, "Why?"

I searched her eyes, I had to know what she was thinking; did she really want this? I told her the truth needing her to understand, "because I wont be able to if we don't now."

"Good." Her answer froze me in place for a moment then I was kissing her again, my control slipping further, it was hanging by a thread now.

I walked with her still around me to the couch and sat down with her straddling me. I pulled off her shirt and impatiently tasted her skin while my fingers moved to her bra to remove it. As soon as it was out of my way I pulled her breast into my mouth, playing with her other nipple with my hand, making her moan and grind into me.

I heard her pant my name and lifted my mouth from her breasts to claim her mouth again. The last of my control was dropping away, I could feel the civility fading away as the wolf and I began to become one.

I pulled away and looked into her eyes, giving her one last chance to walk away "tell me to stop Bella. Tell me to stop or I will take you, I'll have you here and now." She moaned and ground into my erection. When I felt her hands go to the button on my jeans the last string of control snapped.

I stood up with her still in my lap; I set her on the ground and dropped to my knees, pulling her jeans down. I kissed every creamy inch of skin that was revealed to me on her left leg. When I had her pants off I kissed back up every inch of the other leg to see if her skin tasted the same. When I reached her sex I breathed in deeply. Her scent was intoxicating. I pulled down her panties and went weak. Her pussy was bare to me. I leaned forward and licked up the moisture as a fresh wave of her arousal hit me. I held up her thighs, supporting her, as I tasted her. She tasted even better than I imagined. I almost busted in my jeans when she came screaming my name.

I stood up and lifted her into my arms again, desperate to get her to my room, I didn't want to take her here, not the first time. She ground against my cock as I walked us down the hall. I ached I wanted inside of her so badly. I sat her on the bed and stripped out of my jeans.

I felt her eyes on me and smelled a fresh wave of arousal coming from her. I watched her as she looked over my body, stopping to stare at my cock, I groaned with need.

She sat up onto her knee and pulled me to her, kissing me, her hands running along my skin down my chest until her fingers met my cock. I almost came on the spot. She ran her fingertips along my length and swiped at the pre-cum that had leaked, then her little hand wrapped around me. It was too much, I needed inside of her, so I stepped away and pulled her hand up to my neck.

I knelt on the bed and reach for her hips pulling her close. We both moaned as her wet lips ran across my length. I shifted her and lined up with her entrance, she felt my tip there and rolled her hips forward, pulling me partly inside. I shifted forward, laying her on her back and pushing carefully inside her. I was above average and she was so tight.

I thought I might have died and reached heaven buried inside her. Then she rocked her hips against me. I growled trying hard not to bust at just the feel of her silky heat around me. He muscles clenched around me and I had to move, to claim her, to brand her body so she knew she was mine, and I was hers. She came screaming my name again. I wanted to mark her, to claim her fully but I knew I couldn't do that, not yet, not until she knew. I couldn't stop growling now as I pushed into her again and again. When I came it was a more intense feeling than I had ever experienced, I felt her clenching around me again and knew she was with me as we both saw stars.

I lay over her still connected as we tried to catch our breath. My whole body was shaking with the force of my orgasm. I shifted on top of her knowing I must be getting heavy for her but she tightened her limbs trying to hold me close. She wasn't ready to be apart either. I kissed the crease where her neck met her shoulder and rolled, holding her tightly and still buried deep inside. I listened to her heartbeat as it began to slow, becoming a soft, steady rhythm in her sleep.

After a while, I felt her stir in my arms and hesitantly loosened my grip, I wanted to hold her all night, to hold her forever.

After a couple minutes I got up and went after her, I knew she hadn't left, the door hadn't opened and while I couldn't make out the words I could hear her talking softly.

As I came in I heard her saying goodbye to Kim and leaned against the wall, waiting. "Everything ok?" I asked as she set the receiver down.

She jumped slightly at the sound of my voice and when she looked up at me she blushed and quickly looked away again, "Um yeah, just checking in with Charlie and thanking Kim, she covered for me not being home or well I guess Leah did since she saw Charlie when he got to Sue's."

I chuckled and walked towards her. She looked around the kitchen, her eyes settling on the mess of the frying pan in the sink, "Sorry about dinner."

I pulled her to me and as soon as her eyes came up to meet mine I kissed her. "I'm not." I told her right before my stomach protested its lack of dinner, loudly, "Starving now though." I told her with a grin.

She laughed and pushed lightly on my chest, "I'll just clean this up and make something else."

"I'll help."

She tilted her head and thought about it a second, "Ok, what shall we have?"

"Pizza." I replied turning my upper body and reaching for the cordless, one arm still wrapped around her.

She laughed and pushed me away to start tidying up while I called and ordered. When the kitchen was put to rights we sat on the couch to wait for our food.

There was a slight awkward silence and I felt the need to break it before she decided to leave, "What movie do you want to watch?" I was afraid to speak to loud, to startle her, to break whatever web had wrapped around us.

"Oh, um, anything."

I got up and put the first one my fingers touched in the player and sat back down next to her. I couldn't stop myself pulling her into my arms. Her body relaxed into mine and I leaned down to kiss her gently, as soon as my lips met hers though she responded and we began making out again, soon she was straddling me and my cock was straining against the material of my jeans, aching for her.

I almost cursed when the doorbell rang. Bella went to answer as I grabbed my wallet. As I got to the door I could see the lust on his face as he stared at my Bella. I couldn't help the low growl that escaped. Immediately I was washed in the scent of Bella's arousal. Hmmm. So the growling turned her on. How had I not noticed that before? Ah well, I would have to remember now. She took the pizza and moved inside while I paid, practically slamming the door in his face. I went into the kitchen and pulled Bella into my arms for a heated kiss before reminding myself we both needed to eat.

After we ate the desire came back full force. I couldn't get enough of her. The pain was finally gone, leaving only the sweet burn of desire as I drowned in her scent. After we ate she blew me on the couch. Her hot little mouth was the second best thing I had ever felt, the first being when I was balls deep inside of her.

I couldn't stop myself from tasting her again and then fucking her right there on the couch. I carried her back to bed and fell into a deep sleep until I felt her wriggling away from me. Still half asleep I let out a low growl and held her tighter.

She turned in my arms and poked me in the chest, her voice was indignant as she asked, "Sam Uley did you just growl at me."

"No. Go back to sleep." I grunted; did she just use my full name? Damn that was kinda hot.

"Yes, you did. And I can't it's to hot, I need to open the window and use the bathroom."

I groaned but loosened my hold on her. When the bathroom door closed I got up and opened the window before lying back on the bed. I heard the door open and reached out to her, I needed her next to me to sleep, "Come back to sleep now."

She crawled back into bed and curled against me, quickly drifting off again. I moved her hair from her face and kissed her temple before pulling her tighter to me and laying back. I sighed happily, right now, this moment was the happiest I had been, I felt nothing but peace. This was how it should be, right here in bed my imprint curled, sated and sleeping in my arms.

Hours later I heard my front door being opened and closed, it was Jared and Paul, assholes.

"Sam!" Jared called out, and I felt Bella stir in my arms.

She poked me in the chest, "Someone is here."

"What!" I called out, the timbre of alpha letting them know I was not pleased they were here.

"Don't let them come in here!" My Bella hissed at me, shoving at my shoulder. I got up to go tear them a new one and felt Bella's eyes on me as I dressed. I shot her a grin before heading out to the living room.

"What the fuck!" I demanded as they came into view, my voice low so Bella didn't hear.

"Leeches." Paul said the one word I really didn't want to hear.

I looked from Jared to the clothes on the chair and to my room as I heard the shower start. He nodded understanding as I followed Paul outside.

We quickly phased and he showed me the details of patrol early this morning. We phased back and stood in the yard talking.

"So they got away?"

"Yeah, three of them. We picked up the scents of two males and a female. Think they were just passing through but you might want to check with the Cullens' since we passed their scents in the woods as well.

"They were on our lands!"

"No but we chased the other three near towards Canada, crossed by a valley North West from there land a bit."

"Shit, alright, whose on patrol now?"

"Jake stayed out and sent me back to tell you, the twins started their patrol while we were chasing the leeches."

"Have Leah go out too." I want patrols run along our boarders by the twins, Leah and Jake need to circle around Forks, make sure none by the Cullen's scents are there. You, Jared and I are heading to the boarder of the Cullen property. Have Seth go to your place to watch the imprints."

"What about Bella?"

"She doesn't know anything, I don't want to freak her out, I want Embry running around my house, tell him not to let her see him. I want Quil close to the elders. Tell Charlie to get to Billy's even with Jake and Leah running around Forks its safer here. These fuckers have already killed on our lands, I want them dead if they come within a mile of us again!" I growled at him and went back inside while he called the others, I could hear Bella moving in the den, "Jared have Kim go to Paul's place and stay with Emily, Seth will watch them there."

"Already there, we spent the night there, its how I knew what was going on, Paul stopped to check on Emily on his way here."

"Fine. We are heading to talk to the Cullen's."

"What about Bella?"

"Taken care of." I headed down the hall taking deep breaths to calm myself.

She didn't look up when I came in.

"We have to head out." I told her, noting the slight frown between her eyes, she nodded still not looking up at me. I walked towards her, watching her, wanting to say something but not sure what I could say. Finally she looked up at me, her eyes full of turmoil, I could feel the vice tightening around my heart again, something was wrong. "I'll see you later." I told her kissing her temple. Whatever it was I would find a way to fix it, to make it better, but now I needed to make it safe for her.

I turned and hurried out of the house. I grabbed my cell phone and jumped in my truck, Paul and Jared rode in the back, ready to phase on the fly if we ran into trouble.

The dialed the Dr. Leech as I pulled my truck into gear and drove out through town. It was faster to run but I needed to call, we couldn't just turn up on their property anymore than they could ours. It was asking for a fight.

"Hello Mr. Uley." The leeches smooth voice floated through my phone.

"Dr. we have a problem."

"Is one of your wolves injured? Shall I meet you at the Swan's?"

A year ago, Seth had been badly injured by a leech that had been out for the Cullen's and crossed our lands. The doctor had reset his bones and given him morphine. We were on decent terms with them since then. "Three leeches killed a member of the tribe early this morning."

"Shit" I had never heard the doctor leech swear before.

"Meet us at the boarder in five." I slammed the phone closed and stopped my truck on the side of the road. Paul and Jared jumped out the back, already wolves.

I pulled off my jeans and phased running through the woods towards their land. They met us part way there.

I phased as soon as I caught the scent and pulled on my jeans. I stood waiting for them, flanked by Paul and Jared.

"Mr. Uley." The doctor stepped forward, his mate at his side.

"Doctor." I nodded at him, "You know the leeches?"

"No." he assured me, I wasn't sure I believed him until he continued, "We came across them in a valley while hunting late last night, North West from our home. Three nomads, they introduced themselves as Laurent, James and Victoria."

"Where are they now?"

"Gone, we told them of our permanent home here and asked they did not hunt in the area. They told us they had been passing through and were leaving anyways. Heading North. They had eaten recently, we did not think they would feed again, not when we had asked them to avoid the area."

"Well they did." I snapped at him, Paul and Jared growling on either side of me.

"Yes, we are very sorry for this. We should have warned you they were in the area."

"We can protect our people without your help."

"Obviously, I mean the dead guy must be so grateful for you." The blond girl leech snickered. Paul growled and stepped towards her, the big one automatically moving into a crouch in front of her.

"Rose!" The doctor's mate admonished her.

"Enough. We do not want trouble with your pack." The doctor added shooting his coven members a look, which caused the big one to step out of his crouch, though his body still shielded his mate. "We are very sorry for your loss and are quite willing to help should the three return."

"Your sure they left the area?"

"They are headed to Canada, the blond, James was tracking someone, playing a game with them, it was the focus of his mind, they will not return soon." The mind reader added; he always gave me the chills.

"I'll let you know if I see them returning." The pixie leech offered. She was sweet. She couldn't see us but usually the doctor leech called us if she saw trouble or if her visions around a 'visitor' went blank.

"Thank you." I nodded at her. Her mate nodded back at us as though sensing the gratitude I felt to his mate. I knew he was not someone to trifle with, my instincts knew this leech was dangerous and my hackles would rise every time he was near.

If there was no trouble I needed to let the council know. The boys would still run full patrols but there was no need for lock down and then I wanted to get back to Bella.

"Congratulations on your mate." The mind reader spoke again. Paul growled at him. "Relax dog. I was only being nice."

"Stay away from my mate." I thought of her in Forks, reachable by the Cullen's and any 'friends' they had.

"We would never mean one of yours harm." The doctor assured me.

"Besides, Chief Swan is a good man, even knowing what we are he does not judge us." The mind reader added.

"Chief Swan's daughter is your mate?" the doctor asked. I didn't like his curiosity.

"You know her?"

"She has been in my ER once or twice since moving here." He was quick to reassure me when he saw my growing distress, "Nothing serious of course. It seems she is rather prone to accident."

"We'll avoid that part of Forks." The blond mate of the seer offered. "We wont stay out of the town since we are maintaining a life here so we can't promise not to come across her but her home can be considered pack land now."

"Yes, Jasper, I believe that is a very fair solution. Is this acceptable to you Mr. Uley?"

"Fine." I nodded at the blond, again it seemed he felt my gratitude as he nodded in understanding.

"We'll be on our way then." The doctor smiled at us and turned his back, showing his trust in our truce. The others followed his lead and turned around, running into the woods, back to their home.

I phased and ran back to the truck. We filled in the others as we ran.

"Kim was going over to yours with lunch to talk with Bella." Jared told me after we had climbed into the cab of my truck, Paul opting to run back.

"Something was off this morning."

"Maybe she just needs a girl to talk to, Emily ran to Leah after she slept with Paul. My Kim always wished she had a girl to talk to about all the emotions behind the imprint."

"Yeah. Ok." It was part cowardice that had me agreeing that Kim should talk to her first; I just couldn't stand the idea that she might regret being with me. Thoughts I was glad I hadn't had when the min reader was near.

We drove to the council hall where Jake was waiting for us to talk with the elders. After we informed them of everything that had happened and started to break off and go our own ways. Billy called me over to him.

"Well son?"

I shifted on my feet; this was not something I wanted to talk about. "Bella spent the night."

"So you?" I just nodded.

"Right, well, hopefully things will be on track with you to now."

I shook my head, "I don't know. Something was off this morning. I'm afraid she is still fighting it."

"Just give her a little time to accept it. It is good Kim is talking to her. Keep pushing her. You should tell her the truth soon as well." I just nodded. "Go on to work and give her time. Tomorrow you will have dinner with her and Charlie and you can push a little more, she will open to the imprint and you will tell her. It will all work out." He sighed and I heard him mutter under his breath, "It has to." None of us knew what would happen to a wolf whose imprint rejected him.

Kim called Jared just after I got to the site. Lunch didn't go well. Bella was upset and she was afraid she's made it worse. I fought the urge to go to her. I felt the vice tightening around my heart as I worked. It was getting harder to breathe. After two hours I gave up and went home. I felt as if Bella was moving far away from me. My house still smelled of Bella. It made the vice tighten, I felt like I was going to hyperventilate. I saw the light on the machine blinking with a message.

When I heard her voice, her words, I felt like I had been punched in the gut. Immediately after it came a message from Charlie, he sounded genuinely upset, "Sam, I got word that Bella was trying to call me. Stopped by the house to check on her… Sam she's gone. The note says…" I exploded in pain. I couldn't hear the rest of what he said all I knew was that she was gone; she had run from me. I let out one long pain filled howl and collapsed to the floor. Almost immediately my mind was filled with the voices of my brothers. I couldn't answer them. Couldn't even move for the pain. I just lay there on my living room floor, whimpering, my mind repeating itself over and over again… _Bella was gone. She had run from me. Gone, run from me, rejected me. My imprint rejected me. She was gone, she had run from me, rejected me, gone, run, rejected, gone, run, rejected._

I don't know how much time had passed but I heard movement around me. It was as though I was watching the scene from a distance. I could see the large black form of my wolf lying on the floor. Leah's smaller grey form was curled against my side trying to provide some comfort as I lay there, whimpering. Jared was shaking, holding Kim who was crying. She was apologizing over and over again as though she had done something wrong, had made my girl run, but she hadn't it wasn't her fault, I wanted to comfort her but I couldn't, I couldn't move, couldn't reach myself, it was like the pain was so great I had separated from my body, from the broken wolf, lying on the floor.

Charlie sat on my couch his head in his hands; Sue had an arm wrapped around him. I could see the other pack members, quietly placed around my house. It looked as though someone had died. Someone had died. I had. And now I was in hell, lost in the pain and yet floating outside myself at the same time.

I don't know how much time had passed. Kim had passed out exhausted from crying and Jared carried her home. Sue took Charlie home in case she called. Leah still lay by my side. Jake had taken command for me, a signing patrols. Emily was in my kitchen cooking for whatever wolf would eat. Paul sat quietly at the counter watching her lost in his own thoughts. Until all of a sudden he started shaking so badly the stool knocked over. Emily dropped a bowl as she looked over at him. They all watched as Paul went from calm to full out shaking in seconds.

He phased and came over to me growling, "GET UP!" he demanded in my head.

Leah growled at him from my side, "Fuck off Paul!"

"NO! Get up you pussy son of a bitch!" He lunged and nipped at my neck growling at me.

I felt myself snap back into my body as he lunged to bite me again. I growled and stood up, snapping back at him. Jake shifted and pushed us out into the woods as we began fighting in earnest. This was no game; we were fighting to kill. At least I was, I was half mad with the pain. I couldn't understand what was wrong with the pack, why they weren't stopping this until I had Paul by the throat and his voice finally filtered through my brain.

"She's coming back. She'll come back." Over and over he chanted in my head.

I let go of his neck and stepped back, falling to the ground again.

He got up breathing heavy and laid down in front of me his giant head on his paws, his breathing heavy.

"She ran from me."

"She ran from her past. Don't you see it Sam. Something happened to her. Something bad. She's not fighting the imprint; she's not running from you. She's running from that. Fighting that. We are treating her like a stubborn imprint but she's not, she's broken and we need to fix her."

"How? I tried saying away, I tried pushing her."

"By being there for her. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. You were right. She needs to come to you but we all need to show her she is safe."

"How?"

"By letting her kick us while we are down." He said in a sad voice. "And by making her stand up to us."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean we wait till she comes back. And she will come back. She told Charlie she'd be back tomorrow."

"She spoke to Charlie?"

"She called just after he'd got home, said she was with a friend and was coming back tomorrow. Some gay guy from Phoenix."

"So she comes back and then what?"

"You do nothing. Wait for her to come to you. Right now, you just have to take it, I know it hurts, we can all feel it whether we are phased or not, but you have to stay strong, let her kick you while your down. She'll come to you. And then you have to tell her what we are, that she is your imprint. We have to show her she can trust us by trusting her."

"And if she runs?"

"I told you Sam, she's not running from you."

"How do you know?"

Her eyes flashed through his mind, haunted and sad, "I know."

"I can't breath." I told him.

"I know, I know it hurts but you have to pull yourself together man, you have to be strong for her, be the mate she needs you to be."

I let his words seep into my soul and a moment later I was sitting on the forest floor, human.

He shifted back as well and we sat crossed legged, neither paying attention to our mutual nudity, it was something we had been forced to get used to and no longer affected us. Even Leah had given up on much of her modesty over the last couple years.

"I could have killed you." I told him.

"I know" was his simple reply.

"Why?"

"You're our alpha and brother. We all hurt with you Sam. Something needed to snap you out of it and bring you back."

"We should head back. Where is the rest of the pack?"

"They fell back when I told them to let us fight it out. Only Jake could have stopped it anyways and he's not taken on Alpha."

We phased and ran back to my house. The pack was there waiting for us. The relief on their faces when they saw us trot out of the woods was almost comical, if only I could have found anything funny through the pain still wracking my body.

The pack was divided on the situation, equal parts angry with Bella for doing this to me and angry with who ever had dared hurt one of ours so badly. We were volatile in such a state. Our emotions were all to close to the surface. I sent the pack home again. Leah stayed with me.

"Are you alright?" She asked sitting on the couch next to me.

"No." I told her my voice hoarse with the pain.

We sat in silence a while longer before she broke it again, "You should eat something." I just shook my head. I couldn't eat, I felt sick, my gut churning with acid.

She hesitated for a moment, "Do you wish you had never imprinted?" she asked quietly, breaking the silence again.

"No." I told her honestly, "If only for one moment, holding her in my arms as she slept, I felt peace, happiness and love worth any amount of pain."

We fell into silence again. Sitting side by side on my couch. My beautiful Leah, always there for me, providing what little comfort she could. I hoped she would imprint, I hoped it went smoother for her, like it had with Kim and Jared.

The sun came up and filtered into the room, I felt the couch shift as Leah stood up. I heard he rummaging around the kitchen and when she came back she set a plate of eggs and sausage in my lap. She sat down again and devoured her own plate. My stomach rolled at the thought of eating. I picked up a sausage but it taste like ash in my mouth. I set the plate on the coffee table, "I need to go for a run."

"Thank god, I was about to have Paul come in and attack you again." Leah half joked standing up and stretching. She pulled her dress off as she walked out my front door. I followed and we were both running through the woods. I let Seth and Quil off patrol and Leah and I ran together. The wind felt good, the crisp air cool and delicious, soothing my charred lungs. The vice around my heart still gripped me, my insides felt burned with the force of the pain and yet I was almost numb to it now. As we ran I let my senses take over, filtering the scents of the forest for anything that didn't belong. There was no trace of the bleachy sickly sweet smell of vampire. When Embry and Collin came to take over patrol Leah sent them back and we kept running. For hours we ran the lines without speaking. Leah's mind was relaxing as she focused only on the scents and sounds around us, humming lightly as she ran; it was almost meditative.

The sun was high in the sky when Jake's thoughts broke into our peace, "She's back. And not alone." He told us, replaying seeing her at the diner for us.

If I hadn't been a wolf already I would have phased then.

"Go!" Leah snapped at him. Nipping at my ankles to get me to move again. I hadn't realized I'd stopped running as I looked in Jake's mind. I shook my head remembering Paul had said Charlie told him she was with a gay guy. A friend, he was only friend. She hadn't run from me to someone else. She hadn't rejected me.

I felt Leah's teeth sink into my hind leg and growled at her, loping into a run.

We ran side by side, and I let the sights and smells of the woods take over again soothed by the sounds of nature and Leah's soft humming. Embry and Brady took over patrol as night fell. Leah followed me back to the house where Emily had made dinner. I couldn't eat again so I went to my room. It still smelled like her and the jolt of pain through my heart nearly brought me to my knees. I sat on the floor leaning against the wall.

"You might not want to eat but you can at least shower." Leah said walking in and tossing a towel at me. When I came out she and Emily had changed my sheets and opened the windows.

I went out to the living room and sat on my couch. Leah took Emily home when the guys arrived with several cases of beer and bottles of whiskey. We sat around and got drunk, as drunk as a werewolf can get anyways.

In the morning girls came over. Kim hesitated in the doorway. Jared got up and went to pull her in his arms I heard him trying to comfort her.

"It's not your fault Kim." I finally reassured her myself.

She looked at me tears brimming her eyes, "If I hadn't come over…"

"I'd have asked you to later. Something wasn't right when we left. She was always going to run Kim." I ran a hand over my face. "You did nothing wrong."

She nodded at me and Jared pulled her into a hug as a tear slipped down her cheek. Emily was already busy in my kitchen. Giving Leah tasks to help. "Come on Kim, these wolves need to eat." She called gently. Kim gathered herself and reached up on her toes to kiss Jared before going into the kitchen. Jared came to sit next to me.

"Thank you."

"It wasn't her fault."

"I know but she needed to hear it from you."

I nodded and we fell silent, listening to the girls in the kitchen. Emily put a plate in front of me and I picked at it while she and Leah both glared at me. The others devoured what was made and headed off in different directions. I went to run patrol with Jared. As we ran I remembered he was supposed to have a week off and he was practically running doubles.

"Don't worry about it man. I'll take the time later." He assured me picking up on my thoughts.

"Yeah, once we are sure these leeches aren't coming back maybe you can take Kim away for a week."

"Once everything is sorted with you and Bella maybe." He told me. I knew the pack could feel my suffering and the pain was worse for him and Paul, feeling my pain made it harder for them to be away from their imprints.

"I know she's home waiting for me. So does Paul, we're fine Sam, the pack is fine." He assured me, reading my thoughts again.

Collin and Brady phased in and Jared and I decided to phase and walk back. I felt her as soon as we got close to the beach. Quil was there and as we went up to him I followed his eyes to where Bella lay on a blanket with another man. I felt my body trembling. _He's gay. She told Charlie he was gay._ My mind repeated over and over but the pain was ripping through my body again, any sense of numbness had faded and then a traitorous and painful thought slipped into my mind as I saw them sit up and his arm go around her shoulders, _she might have lied to Charlie_.

I felt Jared and Quil pushing and pulling me into the woods. I fell to my knees on the forest floor pain wracking me. I felt a fist connect with my jaw and exploded into my wolf. I growled at Jared and Quil, who was looking at Jared like he'd lost his marbles.

I could hear the twin calling out in their minds, asking what had happened and I let out a howl as the image replayed itself in my head. I felt the others phasing, their minds joining ours.

Jared assured them all was fine, replaying the scene of Bella on the beach with her friend, his arm going over her slender bare shoulders. I whimpered in pain as it flickered from one mind to the next. I followed Jared as he began running towards my house.

"This is such fucking bullshit." Jared spat. "It's not supposed to be like this."

I lifted my head caulking to the side in question.

"She's your soul mate. Why doesn't it hurt her?"

"It does." I felt Paul's voice respond in my head.

"Not enough." I heard Leah spit back at him.

"Enough." I ordered them.

"It doesn't hurt her as much because her pain would only make ours worse." Jake responded wisely, "Would you rather feel this or have her suffer? Besides we all know that until she accepts the bond and becomes one of us through the marking the magic can only affect her so much."

"So he gets to suffer while she plays house!" Leah snapped back at him, her words sending jolts of fresh pain through me.

"We cannot know what she suffers Leah." Paul snapped at her, phasing out of our minds, his words even more than hers sent waves of pain through my heart.

Paul was a mystery to me these days; I could not understand his reaction to my Bella.

"Whoever this friend is Charlie said he'd only be here a few days. We'll figure this all out when he leaves."

"And just let Sam suffer?" Seth growled.

"Enough." Jared snapped at them all. He phased and went inside my house and returning in a pair of shorts. I phased as well and he tossed the other pair at me. He sat on one of the chairs and opened two beers, sitting one on the table next to the other chair and taking a long swing from his own. I pulled on the shorts and went to sit next to him.

"What do you think?"

"I think this thing is going to kill me but before it does I'll kill that boy and anyone else who goes near her." I tell him swinging back some of the cold beer.

"Yes, we got that from your head." He rolled his eyes, "Besides that?"

"I don't know. I can barely think beyond the pain. And the fear, I'm afraid I've lost her before she ever moved to Forks." I admitted. "I want to grab her up and lock her away where I can keep her safe. I want to shake her until her teeth rattle and make love to her until she is too weak to move. I want to hate her."

"But you don't, you love her."

"She is beautiful. She stands up for herself, I love her compassion, her kindness, and her intelligence. She is so much stronger than even she knows. Whatever has created the suffering in her eyes she survived it, she just doesn't realize it, she beat them, someone or something tried to break her but she won, whenever she smiles, whenever she laughs, with everyday that she lives she wins. She's just to stubborn to give in to the imprint, to afraid to trust herself."

"Maybe she just wasn't ready to move past it."

"Maybe she'll never be."

We sat in silence after that, sipping our beers, lost in our own thoughts. Jared got up and put our empty bottles in the bin, bringing out to more and sitting next to me again. About half way through the second bottle we heard the truck turn into my drive. We both knew it was her, we would know the sound of that truck anywhere, even without the special wolfish senses. I started shaking lightly.

She pulled to a stop and just sat in the cab staring at us. I wondered if she was going to get out and what she would even say when she did. Could she have any idea what she had done to me? To the pack who had all suffered with me?

Jared and I stood up moving to the railing, watching her as she watched us. Finally she stepped out of the truck. I waited for her to speak, trying to control the shivers running across my skin. Trying to control the urge to strangle her. The urge to pull her into my arms, strip her bare and fuck her senseless, the urge to bend her over my knee and spank her bottom raw, the urge to take her from behind where she stood and mark her as mine, so she would know she belonged to me.

I stood there trembling and waiting for her to speak, the pain gripping my heart like a vice reminding me I couldn't breath without her. I wanted to hate her but I couldn't, I loved her too much and as she took a tiny step forward, taking in a breath for air and courage and I marveled at her strength and courage for showing up her, I knew that I already forgave her, I would forgive her anything. I would let her kick me when I was down and suffer the pain of the last days over again if I could see her smile. I would suffer an eternity if I could just feel her sleep sated and content in my arms every night.


	12. Chapter 12

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

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**Sorry for the wait, especially after a bit of a cliffy, school is nuts right now and finally back to sleeping nights. I will try to keep them coming as quick as I can. The reviews really help, I read them and it makes me itch to write so thanks for all the love. **

**So here we are back to Bella's POV… **

He was sitting on the porch with Jared when I drove up. They were both wearing cutoffs without shirts and drinking beers.

I studied him from the cab of the truck. Rylan was right; he looked like shit. As if he had been hit by a speeding semi. I knew I was that semi. Both of them stood and walked over to the rail watching me. I forced myself out of the truck.

Sam was shivering; Jared just glared at me.

I hesitated not sure what to say, "Sorry I left work like that. Rylan flew into Seattle unexpectedly." I couldn't meet his eyes or get my voice above a whisper.

"What are you doing here?" Jared demanded stepping off the porch and in front of Sam whose shivers had turned to full out shaking.

"I came to talk to Sam." I told him, biting back tears.

"You still have the job if that's what your worried about." He snapped.

"No." I shook my head.

"Jared," it was the first I heard his voice since he had left for work several days ago; it sounded scratchy and dull.

Jared looked back at him and then to me and back to Sam, he spoke low but it sounded like he was asking Sam if he was sure he'd be alright, Sam gave a curt nod and Jared walked away from the house. I stood there still staring at Sam. Fighting the urge to run into his arms. At this point he might push me off him and slam the door in my face.

"Why are you here?" he demanded, clenching his fists.

"To talk to you."

"Why," I shuffled and looked away, now that I was here I didn't know what to say to him, "Damn it Bella why are you here, what do you want?"

I couldn't help it, I burst into tears, in seconds I felt his warm arms wrap around me and pull me into his chest. I wrapped my arms around his waist and clung to him. The ache in my heart was finally gone, I didn't feel nauseous or anxious anymore, I felt relieved, content, I felt home.

"I'm sorry Sam." I forced out through sobs.

"Shh, its ok baby-girl, don't cry. Tell me what's wrong. Please talk to me."

"I'm sorry, I just got scared and called Rylan and he came and calmed me down, but also kept pushing and he never pushes and then he yelled at me only he was right and we talked and," I hiccupped and took a deep breath, I was talking so fast and not sure what I was saying even, I felt him stiffen when I said Rylan's name and I wondered if he was jealous as I continued on my rambling, "I don't know what I'm thinking. I do know what I'm thinking but it doesn't make sense because it's the opposite of what I am feeling which also makes no sense at all because I don't know you really and I might be going crazy because its like I do or always have and I don't like the feeling at all because its like I need you and I keep having these weird dreams about a wolf with your eyes and its better then the nightmares but when I start thinking of how I react to you and how out of control I feel I have the nightmares again and so I can't sleep and I am so tired. And I don't understand what is going on so I ran and hid because I couldn't face you and I'm sorry." I took another deep breath in not having taken one while I forced all the words out; I was sure I made no sense at all. Sam had begun rubbing my back soothingly and now he made soft shushing sounds while I cried.

When the sobbing stopped his hand stilled on my back and he pulled away to look down at me "Whose Ryan?"

"Rylan. He's my best friend from Arizona. When I called him he caught a flight to Seattle, he's really rich so the last minute flight was nothing to him. And we met Kim's brother there, it's awful but I wish he would break up with Mark and then he could date Ry. He hates small towns but Seattle is so much nearer then Phoenix." I was babbling again, I knew but I couldn't help it. Tears kept running down my cheeks and I wanted him to hold me close again.

A small smile began to play at the corner of his mouth, "Rylan and Jack?"

"Yeah, I know, its not nice to wish people would break up but Mark is moving to Chicago and Jack doesn't really want to go and I know Kim wont want him to and you should have seen them together, they'd be great." While I was talking Sam pulled me tighter into his arms again. I sighed and hugged him back. The tension finally easing out of my shoulders, "I really am sorry Sam."

"Tell me why you ran away." I buried my face into his chest and tightened my arms when he went to back away. "Bella?" his voice was hard as he easily pulled out of my grasp.

Fresh tears welled in my eyes, "I was just scared Sam. I don't understand how I feel around you. It just doesn't make sense."

He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, "and does it now?"

"No, yes. I don't know. My head still says it doesn't but Rylan is right my head is just insecurity and fear; the rest of me just doesn't care if it makes sense. And Paul said that it doesn't need to make sense and he's right. I just need to not be afraid, and I don't need to be because I'm not alone here. I just want to be near you. I need to be."

"Paul?"

"He came to the cliff's while I was there thinking and at first he was really mad and glaring, well he always glares at me but it was meaner, and then he sat with me a while and we talked a bit. He's not at all as mean as he lets on glaring all the time. He reminded me that I'm not weak or alone."

He sighed and I couldn't help the fresh tears welling over my eyes, I was sure he was going to reject me. But he stepped forward and pulled me into his arms, lifting me bridal style, I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face into his warm skin, as he walked into the house and sat on the couch with me in his lap.

"Please stop crying Bella. It hurts when you cry." I nodded into his chest but couldn't stop the tears.

He murmured into my hair and rocked us as we sat like that for a while. When I was calm and my breathing even I ran my hand down his chest.

"Sam?"

"Yes baby-girl?"

"I'm sorry."

"I know." He kissed my hair. "Its ok, it's all ok now. I know it doesn't make sense to you baby but I promise I could never hurt you, I love you, I just want you to be happy. I'll be whatever you want me to be but please don't do that again, don't ever run away from me." His voice sounded so broken. I let my instincts guide me as I lifted my head and kissed him tentatively not sure he wouldn't push me away.

He didn't but he also didn't respond so I ran my tongue along his bottom lip and nipped it with my teeth. He groaned and finally kissed me back. As soon as his tongue met mine it turned into a frenzy.

"Please, Sam" I panted pulling at the button of his jeans. He shifted to free himself and with a quick pull had torn my panties off. My jean mini skirt hiked up to my hips. I sank onto him, the feeling unlike anything I had known before. As soon as he was in me I sighed in satisfaction. We both sat there still for a minute breathing heavily. When I couldn't take it anymore I rocked my hips against him.

He let out one long low growl and I nearly came apart. He began thrusting up into me, wrapping his hands on my ass he lifted us both sinking to his knees and laying my back on the coffee table, I screamed as he pounded into me. He kept going as the waves of my orgasm subsided. He was still growling as I ran my nails down his chest. He leaned down and began biting and sucking my neck.

"Come for me again, now." He growled out and like before my body responded to his demands and I came screaming his name. I could feel him shooting inside of me as my body shook around him. We lay there breathing heavily for a few minutes.

He sat back and I whimpered as he left me. He pulled me up into his arms and carried me into the kitchen. He picked up the phone and ordered food from the diner. I knew they didn't deliver.

"Are we going to pick up dinner?" I asked running my hands over his back, I couldn't not touch him.

"No." his words were sharp and my hands stilled but he turned and pulled me into his arms, "Seth will bring it here." He lifted me into his arms again and I wrapped my legs around his waist. His shorts were still on though they were open from before and I was still fully dressed. He led us into the bedroom where he stripped out of his shorts before pulling off my clothes, kissing, licking and biting everywhere. I dropped to my knees after he undid my skirt letting it fall to the floor.

I took him in my mouth, sucking deep with out warning. He cursed and moaned. I raised one hand to his balls and used to other to pump what wouldn't fit in my mouth. I swirling my tongue and ran my teeth gently along the shaft. After a moment he growled and pulled me off him to my feet. Lifting me in his arms he slammed my back into the wall and in one thrust pushed inside me. Immediately I shattered around him. He kept pumping into me until minutes later he was groaning my name, as the feel of the first stream of warm cum hitting my womb I came around him again.

He let my feet hit the floor slowly making sure I had my footing.

He leaned down and kissed me gently, "Did I hurt you?" he sounded so worried.

"No, god no, it was good." I pulled him down to kiss him passionately.

He led us into the bathroom next and we got in the shower. He washed my body and my hair. When I did the same he lifted me in his arms to reach better. With each movement I felt him glide along my center, moaning at the contact. I rinsed his hair and began kissing along his face. He set me down and turned off the shower before wrapping me in a large towel. He dried me off and set it on the toilet before setting me on my knees on it. I watched in the mirror as he slipped into me from behind. I watched his face as he moved inside of me. One hand came around to tug at my nipple while the other stayed holding my hip. When he moved it down from my nipple to pinch my clit I screamed out and clenched around him forcing his own release. I knocked my head in the mirror as I fell forward. Sam growled and lifted me in his arms kissing the spot on my forehead.

"I'm fine Sam." I reassured him, wriggling out of his arms to get down. I saw my clothes scattered on the floor but kept looking around until I spotted one of his shirts lying on the far edge of the bed. I walked over and pulled it on. He stood watching me so I stared back, eying up and down his body. His cock began to harden as I watched. Damn the man had more stamina than I had heard of. Immediately I was wet and ready for him though.

He growled and pulled on his shorts, "Come on, let's go eat before I ravage you again." He waited for me to walk ahead of him, like he was afraid to lose sight of me.

In the kitchen a bag of food was sitting on the counter, I blushed knowing Seth or whoever had dropped it off had heard us. I hoped it wasn't Leah; then again maybe I did hope it had been her, so she'd know he was mine now. I stopped surprised at my own possessiveness. Sam moved past me to the kitchen one eye on me, like I might bolt out the front door.

"What's for dinner?" I asked as my stomach rolled in hunger, I guess my appetite was back.

"Burgers, fries, and chicken strips." He said looking into the bag.

My stomach rumbled as I went over and wrapped my arms around him. He lifted me onto the counter and handed me a burger before kissing me and digging into his own. Between bites I munched on fries. I ate my bacon cheeseburger, two chicken strips and half an order of fries while he finished the eight other strips, two of the large burgers his order of fries and the other half of my order. We both drank the Sol beers he had in his fridge.

As soon as he had finished eating and downed the rest of his beer I pulled him between my legs. I couldn't get enough of him and now that I had told my mind to fuck off and given my body free rein it was going to be greedy.

Sam didn't complain. He fucked me on the countertop as soon as I had his shorts undone. I climaxed as soon as he entered me, and as it began to subside he reached down and pinched my clit sending me immediately into a second. When he came inside of me I screamed his name this time blacking out from the force of the orgasm.

When I woke we were curled into his bed. He had opened the window so it wasn't to suffocating with his heat wrapped around me. I sighed happily and snuggled back into him. I could feel him growing hard again against my ass.

"Keep doing that and I wont let you go back to sleep." He growled as I shifted against him again. I stilled and then ground my hips back into him.

He flipped me before I could take a breath and devoured my mouth. I couldn't believe how much I wanted him, needed him inside me. I pushed on his shoulders and he let me turn him over, straddling him I lined his cock up and sat swiftly. He let out a grunt and moved his hands to my hips but let me choose the pace and depth until I came around him. He steadied my hips and thrust upwards a few more times until he found his own release. I collapsed on top of him and fell asleep.

A few hours later I woke again to the dull grey light of dawn. I wriggled out of his grasp and he growled pulling me tightly to him. This time I didn't admonish him from growling at me, he had every right to worry about me disappearing on him.

"Sam, baby, I just have to pee." He nipped at my shoulder but let me go. I went into the bathroom and when I came out he wasn't in the bed. I pulled on his shirt and went out to the kitchen where he stood his back to me making coffee.

"We need to talk." He told me not turning around.

My stomach fell to the floor and my breathing hitched. He immediately swung around and came over pulling me into his arms and kissing me senseless as if he had felt my unease and needed to comfort me.

"I need to tell you some things. Things you might not like." He said setting me down again and turning back to the kitchen after I nodded. He took out two mugs and poured us both coffees before leading us out to the chairs on the deck. I wanted to sit on his lap but something told me he needed a little space to do this.

"There are some things about me you don't know." He began staring out at the woods, his shoulders were tense and he seemed almost sad and angry at the same time. I wanted to comfort him but again I knew I needed to wait.

"There are lots of things we don't know about each other." I told him setting my coffee beside me.

"This is kind of big." He shrugged and looked back at me his eyes tortured, "I need to tell you now and hope that you don't run away screaming." The corner of his mouth twisted up but I could see he was really worried.

"I'm not going to run again Sam."

He sighed and looked out at the woods again, "Do you know anything about our history, the Quileute's legends?"

"No," I frowned at him, "I saw you had some books on them though, I'm sure it would be interesting to learn them."

"Our legends say that we are descendent from wolves. Our ancestors were spirit men until one of them became evil in his hunger for power and tried to kill our chief. He was trapped in his spirit form after the others spirit went into his body and slit the throat of his own. A wolf allowed the great chief's spirit to enter his body. The great chief went to his people as the wolf and in front of them transformed into himself, he told his people what had happened, the evil man claimed he was a bad spirit spouting lies but the tribe recognized the spirit of their leader. They killed the man but the chief could not return to his own body as it perished with the spirit of the other man. He remained one with the wolf all his days. His ancestors' had the ability to turn to wolves in time of need for protectors."

I was captivated by his voice as he continued to tell the legends of his people from their beginnings through the first meeting with cold ones and the Cullen treaty.

"Bella, these stories, the legends of my people, they are all true."

I smiled at him and reached out to touch his hand, "Of course they are Sam; all legends come from a place of truth." He sighed and stood up walking to the railing.

"That's not what I mean," he hesitated, "I am a direct ancestor Bella, I am a wolf."

I sat watching him not sure of what to say. Finally he turned to look at me, his eyes pleading with me to believe him.

"The black wolf, on the cliff, in my dreams…" I gulped, still staring at his eyes, it was crazy, my mind was screaming at me that Sam was nuts but deep inside, that place that needed to be near him told me it was true.

Sam just nodded, looking away from me and at his feet, "You were the one I heard howling in the woods?"

He nodded again, refusing to look back up at me. "Are you dangerous?"

"Only to leeches… or anyone who tries to hurt you."

"The others?"

"All wolves to, except Emily and Kim"

"Ok." I wasn't sure if I was crazy or if Sam was but I believed him and I was pretty damn sure I loved him, as in, utterly and irrevocably in love with him however irrational it might seem with knowing him so little.

His head shot up and his eyes met mine, "Ok?"

"Yeah, ok."

"That's it?"

"What would you like me to say Sam. I knew there was something different about you. The way you move, the heat of your skin, the way you eat but still have an unnaturally perfect body, the growling… and I am pretty sure you smell me."

A small smile started to pull at his features, "You smell amazing."

"Tell me what it means." No sense not being rational about an irrational situation.

"What?"

"Being a wolf." He sighed and sat back down beside me.

"It means I can't leave the reservation. I am a protector of my people and need to be here. It means I don't age the way normal people do, neither will my mate once she's marked, at least not until I stop phasing and that will take decades. It means I am unnaturally hot, fast and strong and burn calories three times as fast as the average person, hence the reason we eat the way we do. It means I turn into a giant black wolf whenever I am angry or upset."

"Can I see you?"

He looked over at me, searching my eyes for something before nodding his head and walking out into the yard. I stood up and went to the edge of the porch to watch.

He began shaking and pulled of his shorts, the shaking got worse and a moment later a horse-sized black wolf stood in his place.

My heart was pounding in my chest. _Holy Shit my boyfriend was a werewolf! Wait, what, boyfriend? Well I was in love with him and we were sleeping together. _ My mind was running a mile a minute as I stepped off the porch and tentatively walked towards him.

He lay down on his stomach as I moved, his eyes watching me. They were still Sam's eyes, warm dark chocolate with rich caramel. I reached out my hand and touched his nose. He whined and I moved to the side, running my hand along his soft neck. His mouth opened and his tongue lolled out. His teeth were huge, like sharp knives. I looked away from them and leaned into him as though hugging him.

He smelt the same, like the woods after a storm.

After a minute I pulled away and walked back to the porch. He changed back and pulled his shorts back on before coming to sit down next to me again. Neither of us said anything as we sat sipping our coffee.

"I need to go home now." I told him. I saw his face fall next to me and his hands started trembling. I reached over and placed mine over the nearest one, the shaking stopped immediately, "I'll come back later." I assured him, "Rylan is waiting for me."

"He's still gay right?" he growled out. I shivered at the possessiveness in his tone, rather then scare me it turned me on.

"He's still gay." I assured him.

"You won't run?"

"No, I won't run." I told him getting up to sit in his lap and pull his mouth to mine. We both groaned when I pulled away again.

I hurried inside and pulled on my clothes. Sam was still sitting on the porch when I came out. Jared was coming out of the woods.

"Bella." He said as I walked past him, his tone hard.

"Hey Jared. I have to head home, but I'll be back later." I assured him.

His expression lightened. "We'll see you later then."

"Hey Jared?" I called back when I reached my truck.

"Yeah?"

"What color are you?"

He looked surprised and glanced over to Sam and back to me, before laughing "light brown."

I smiled at him and crawled into my truck driving home.


	13. Chapter 13

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can. **

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! They not only help me with the story they make me itch to write more so you'll get chapters faster. I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

**Ok got so much love in the reviews and so fast on that last chapter I was able to finish off the next and am part way through the one after that. **

**Hope you like it…**

Rylan was still sleeping when I got back so left him and went to the kitchen to make pancakes. I almost jumped when he hugged me from behind a little while later.

"So, I take it things went well?" he said kissing my temple and going to pour himself some coffee while I finished up the last batch of pancakes.

"Yeah, it went well." I told him.

"That's it, that's all I get?" he teased plunking himself down at the table.

"Set the table and I'll think about giving you details" I told him checking the pancakes before flipping them.

"Fine" Rylan grumbled good naturedly getting up to set the table "Are those banana chocolate chip?"

"Of course, what else would I make you?" he hugged me from behind again.

"If I did move to Seattle would you come visit and make me pancakes?"

I laughed, "pancakes, fajitas, lasagna, I'll make all your favorites."

"Mm, ok I might have to look into moving now." He laughed and sat back at the table while I added the new pancakes to the pile and brought the plate to the table.

"Its not nice to tease." I told him sitting down.

"I'm not teasing." He sighed, "I miss you Isa. It's been so good to see you again and things back home aren't so good."

"What do you mean, I thought you said things were fine?"

"They are, work is good, and keeps me busy but I can do that anywhere. I am tired of the heat, it's killing me and there is nothing to do without you, I miss Boston but I sure as hell aren't going back there. When I told Matt I was here he brought up moving out and working from Seattle. I just can't think of a good reason not to."

"Ry, that would be great. You know I would love having you closer, I just don't want it to be for me."

"It's not honey. Well sure it is a little you and Matt are the only real friends I've got so its here with you or in New York with him."

"And you don't want to move to New York?" This surprised me, not that I didn't want him moving to Seattle, I did, but I wanted him to be happy.

"Sure, but my Uncle has everything under control over there, its better for me to stay west that way we don't step on each others toes. Besides, don't you want me to stick around?"

I rolled my eyes at him, "of course I do. I was secretly hoping you and Jack would hit it off. I know he has a boyfriend but I can't help it, I like the idea of you and him."

Rylan grinned at me, "It would be pretty sweet us both dating sexy native men. And Jack is great, gorgeous, funny and sweet, but I am no home wrecker. If Mark makes him happy I hope they work it out."

"Yeah, I know." My face fell a little before smiling at him again, "besides now you might move there without a boy toy to entice you."

We laughed together and finished our breakfast. I noticed Rylan watching my plate with a smile as I devoured three of the large pancakes.

We cleaned up the kitchen and both went to get ready for the day. I was just putting on mascara when Rylan came and sat on my bed.

"So what time are you ditching me?"

"What?"

"To go see Sam. You are going to see him today?"

I shifted my weight from one foot to the next, "Um yeah, I am. I don't know when I just told him I'd see him later."

"Well why don't we go to the store and come back here and make up lunch for him. You know the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I laughed with him thinking how true that was.

"Good idea. But what will you do this afternoon."

"I suppose I could risk the bible n pitchfork crowd and have a look around town. I really have to do some work for a bit too." He shrugged, "I'm a big boy, I can amuse myself honey."

"Alright, I smiled at him. Maybe we can all hang out later too."

"Sure, honey. Come on lets get going to the market while you give me all the juicy reunion details." He laughed, "Don't think I forgot with you focusing breakfast conversation on me, Isa."

Rylan watched as I filled a cart with food, surprised when I told him all of it was just for lunch. I reminded him that the way to man's heart was his stomach and he just laughed.

We spent the rest of the morning dancing around the kitchen and cooking. It was just past one when I climbed in my truck and drove to Sam's leaving Rylan working on his computer in the kitchen.

No one was home when I arrived so I let myself in and set the casseroles and biscuits in the oven to keep warm before going back to the office to do some work.

"Hey Bella."

My head shot up when I heard his voice, my hand automatically jumping to my pounding heart, "Jared."

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. Sam's out taking care of something for the council, how long you been here?"

"Oh, um," I glanced at the clock, "About an hour. Figured I'd let myself in and do some work until he got home seeing as I left most of the week."

"Its cool, like Sam said you are free to choose your hours."

"Right." I looked down at the files and back up to Jared, "I made lunch if you're hungry."

"Really?" he grinned at me looking like an overgrown puppy. The comparison made me laugh to myself as I realized he was an overgrown wolf.

"Yeah, come on, I made a ton in case you guys were here with Sam." He trailed after me into the kitchen where Seth was peaking into the oven.

"Hey get out of there!" Jared growled at him.

"Alright boys calm down there is enough for you both." I laughed and went to take out a casserole. I split the large pan in half giving one side to each boy. I pulled out another pan as I saw Paul and Embry coming up the path. I split that one and put it on the table for them before putting the baskets of biscuits on the table. I watched as they devoured the food in less than five minutes. Leah and Jake came in next and I made them both plates as well. Leah just glared at me, and the plate I offered her.

"Fuck Leah, if you don't want it, I'll have yours." Paul reached for the dish and Leah growled at him.

"Fuck off." She told him and grabbed the plate from me and sat down still glaring.

Finally Sam arrived. I pulled a fresh dish out of the oven along with the last basket of biscuits and set them on the table for Sam. Who pulled me into his arms for a long kiss, as we pulled apart I blushed as the guys were catcalling and whistling.

"Shut it." Sam ordered and sat down, pulling me into his lap before eating, "Thank you for cooking baby-girl. You didn't have to feed these animals."

"They are growing wolves Sam, they need to eat." For the first time I wondered at his place in the pack, he seemed to be the leader and the idea of him in charge turned me on. I heard him growl lowly as he tightened his arm around my waist and shoveled food into his mouth. The sound made my panties wet. I saw a couple of them looking over at us, snickering and I blushed, wondering just how good their sense of smell was.

"Paul, Jared go home to your girls, you have the weekend off. Embry, Seth you have next patrol, Leah you and Jake will run with the twins tomorrow night, I know I can trust you to keep them in line and show them the ropes." Sam was using the deep sexy voice he used when he told me to come. It made my toes curl and a flood of heat swamp me. "Get out!" He growled at them his arm again squeezing me tightly.

They all jumped up and quickly left his house. He began kissing me before the door was all the way closed.

"Fuck you smell good. What the hell were you thinking about?"

"First I was thinking how sexy it is when you go all boss man wolf and you growl, then I was thinking how you were using the same voice you use on me in bed to make me come on command and then I was thinking how long after they left it would take you to bend me over the table." He let out a long low growl and stood up with me in his arms, kissing me deeply. So the last one I had added on but I was thinking it while saying it so it still counts.

He swung me around and tugged my skirt up, his hand going to my pussy to find it already wet. As he pushed me forward into position and I heard his fly and a fresh flood of moisture had me dripping which had him growling. Damn but that was sexy. He pushed roughly into me and I gripped the edges of the table for support knocking an empty dish on the floor. It shattered but he kept pounding into me as I panted out his name. We came together and I collapsed on the table. I could still feel him semi-erect inside of me, one hand on my hip and the other on my back as he stood there breathing heavily.

After a moment he pulled out of me and picked me up into his arms carrying me over to the couch and sitting us down. He buried his head into my hair.

"Damn baby-girl, you turn me into an animal. Are you ok?"

I giggled at his silliness after all he only did what I asked, "I only get what I ask for Sam and that was exactly what I asked for." I assured him kissing along his shoulder.

"Keep that up and you'll be asking for more." He ground out as I shifted my hips, rolling against him.

"Mm Hm." I murmured kissing along his collarbone now.

He gave me what I asked for. He always did.

I drifted on the couch while he cleaned the dishes singing along to a song on the radio. My man had a great voice.

I watched him as he finished up, "Sam?" my voice came out all sleepy and satisfied and he was still wearing the grin he had been wearing since he got off the couch.

"Yeah, baby-girl?"

"What are we?" He stilled and turned around slowly to face me. Shit, I shouldn't have asked him that now he'll feel all pressured and shit.

"You're my mate." He told me, watching me steadily.

"Your mate?"

"My girlfriend I suppose." He said looking down at his hands intently and wiping them on the towel, "If you want to be. I told you Bells; I'll be whatever you want me to be. Your friend, your lover or just an easy lay." His voice a bit bitter at the last and I wondered if that's how he thought I thought of him, I did attack him whenever he got within arms reach. "Anything you want, I'll be." He finished shrugging.

I got up and went to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. "You are my friend Sam, and an easy lay," I added teasing, "so I guess that makes me your girlfriend." I could see a trace of sadness in his eyes so got serious again, "Alright so I am your mate, how is that different from dating any other guy?"

He looked away and I could see conflict in his eyes, "It doesn't. As long as it is your choice, Bells. You don't have to be with me, not like that. I need to be around you and I might go a little crazy if you ever date someone else but I could do that, be your friend, if you wanted it."

"Sam Uley are you trying to break up with me already?" I teasingly pouted at him, wanting to take the edge of sadness away from his eyes. I knew there was something he wasn't telling me and I hoped he would trust me enough to open up to me soon.

"No, god, no baby-girl." He pulled me into his arms and kissed me with such intensity my knees went weak. Before we could do anything else though the phone rang.

Sam picked it up and barked in the receiver, "What!"

I could hear Jared laughing on the other end, "Damn Sam only you would be uptight after getting laid."

"In the middle of something J." he snapped back.

"Ah, sorry to interrupt the fun but Kim was pouting to get me to call and you know I can't resist that shit."

"Yeah, yeah. So what do you guys want?"

"For you and Bella to come over for dinner. Kim says Rylan is invited to."

"Sure, sure." He said looking at me for approval, I nodded and he continued, "We'll be over later."

"I'll tell Kim. Six o'clock."

"Yeah, fine. Fuck off." Sam slammed the receiver down and picked me up carrying me to his room, "We need to get ready to go to Kim's, we have an hour to get dirty and then shower." Sam grinned wickedly.

"I have to call and tell Rylan." I wriggled to get down.

"After." He growled and nipped my neck. He knew that shit made me weak.

An hour and a half later we were pulling into the drive of Jared's house. I followed Sam as he let himself inside.

"Hello." I smiled at them as Kim came over and hugged me, "sorry we're late." I blushed and Kim gave me a knowing look.

"No worries, I didn't really expect you till now." Kim laughed. "I am just finishing up if you want to come keep me company in the kitchen."

"Sure." I followed her in while Sam went to sit with Jared.

"So everything is ok now?" Kim whispered pulling two roast chickens out of the oven.

"Yeah," I smiled at her blushing again, "I'm sorry again for freaking out on you."

"Don't worry about it. You know you can talk to me about anything, if you need to. I mean it's good you have Rylan but I can help with the wolf stuff."

"Um, yeah, about that." I stepped closer to Kim and she leaned towards me so I could speak lower, "Just how good are their senses?"

She rolled her eyes towards the living room and mouthed, "excellent."

I blushed, "so they can smell…"

"From the other room."

"Can they hear us now?"

"With the tv on, the noise of the dishes and us whispering we are good but talking in a normal voice they could listen in."

"Great, I guess privacy just went out the window."

"It's not as bad as the mind thing, though."

"Mind thing?"

"Sam didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Kim blushed and looked away, "Kim, please."

"When they are wolves they share a mind, so all their thoughts are open."

"Meaning?"

"If they think about it the others see it in vivid Technicolor. Every look, touch, kiss, they see it all right out of our guys head."

"WHAT?"

Jared and Sam came running into the kitchen, "What's going on? Kim?" Jared hurried over to her side.

"Baby-girl you ok? What happened?" Sam demanded looking around the kitchen for trouble before his eyes settled on me.

I turned on Sam, "What happened? What happened?" My voice became higher and more shrill with each word, "When were you going to tell me about the whole fucking wolf mind meld shit!" I screamed at him.

"Oh shit." Jared tugged on Kim's arm pulling her out of the kitchen.

"Baby calm down."

"Calm down! Don't tell me to calm down Samuel Uley! The whole fucking pack has seen me naked!"

"And fucking." Jared added from the living room.

Sam growled at him and I let out a screech.

"Bella, baby…"

"Don't you dare! When did you plan on telling me this? I even asked you earlier what being with you would mean! Don't you think that would have been a good time to tell me this!"

"Baby, I"

"You what?"

"Let me finish a god damn sentence." He growled at me.

"Don't you growl at me Samuel Uley, I am not one of your lackey wolves jumping when you ask them too!"

"I was going to tell you"

"When?"

"I don't know. Shit I was just trying not to overwhelm you incase you decided to take off again."

"Don't you dare throw that in my face. I left but that was my own shit to deal with. I think I dealt just fine with the whole fucking turning into Fido thing!"

"Fido! Did you just call me Fido!"

"Well I suppose Cujo would be better since you are always growling and snapping at people!"

Sam was shaking now, and it hit me, he might change if he got to upset. Could he hurt me if that happened? I had been near him as a wolf but he hadn't been angry with me then.

I felt my stomach roll, all the color drained from my face as I connected the dots, Emily's face, werewolves who changed forms when angry, had a bear really attacked her?

I stepped away from him, suddenly afraid, bumping the table chair; I stumbled over it but blacked out before I hit the ground.


	14. Chapter 14

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can. **

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! They not only help me with the story they make me itch to write more so you'll get chapters faster. I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

**Ok, I think I deserve some love for this one, I mean does this not make up for all the days without an update… 3 in one night. **** Already working on the next so it should be up tomorrow night but am a bit stuck on one part that doesn't seem to be coming out the way I want it to.**

"Bella, honey." I heard Kim's voice as I blinked my eyes open. I was laid out on her couch. I could see Emily hovering behind her.

I sat up, "Slowly." Emily said.

"I'm fine. I can't believe I fainted. Where is Sam?" I asked looking around a little.

Kim and Emily exchanged glances, "he freaked out about scaring you and went to run it off. Paul and Jared are with him now."

"Oh," I looked from one to the other, "Is he ok?"

"He'll be fine, are you ok? What happened?"

"We were fighting…"

"Yeah, didn't need super hearing for that one." Kim told me smiling wryly.

"Oh Kim, I'm so sorry, we shouldn't have gotten into it here."

"No, don't worry about it, it's good we were here. I'm just sorry I mentioned it, I'm sure he would have."

I snorted at her, "yeah sure."

"Bella, what happened, why did you faint?"

"We were fighting and I," I blushed and looked up at Emily, "What happened to you?" I asked bringing my hand to my face where hers was scared.

Emily sighed and sat down on the couch next to me. Kim still sat on the coffee table across me holding my hand. They both looked so sad, "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that."

She shook her head and started talking quietly, "It was back when Paul and I first got together. Things were rough for us. He had a rough life and was always so angry, one day he phased and I was to close." Her voice broke a little, "It kills him everyday." She told me looking away. I couldn't help the tears.

"I'm sorry Emily."

She turned back to me, "Don't be and don't be afraid of Sam, he would never hurt you."

"He just started shaking and I thought, oh my god. I know I saw him as a wolf before but not when he was angry with me."

"Honey, Sam was upset but not angry with you. It always hurts them when we are upset, when they don't know how to make it better. It's their job to make us happy."

"Yeah, Bella Sam could never hurt you." Kim tried to comfort me.

"Wait, what do you mean it's his job you mean because I am his mate? And why couldn't he hurt me, Paul hurt Emily?"

"That was an accident, it wasn't his fault and while he phased to close to me he never attacked me, he wasn't angry with me either it was just the situation."

"Fine but that doesn't explain why he couldn't or why he is so angry that I'm upset?"

"He's angry because it's his job to make sure you are safe and happy, he feels like he's failing if you are upset."

"Its worse when they think it's their fault you are upset too." Kim added, still looking at me concerned.

"Ok, you said that but why?" I was so still so confused.

"Its just how imprinting works." Emily shrugged.

"Imp… what?"

"Wait, Paul said Sam told you about them?"

"Being wolves yeah."

"And about being his mate?" Kim added looking at me confused now.

"Yeah. He said something about marking to but I didn't ask him about that, I figured it was more a marriage conversation than a dating one." Both the girls were shifting and avoiding looking at me, and I knew Sam had left something else out, "What is this thing? How does it have to do with being his mate?"

"Maybe you should wait for Sam." Emily suggested.

They both looked uncomfortable, but damn their comfort I needed answers, "Because that went so well in the kitchen." I snapped at them, instantly sorry for my tone. "Please. Please tell me." I hated the plea in my voice but I needed to know.

"Imprinting is how a wolf recognizes his soul mate." Emily finally supplied.

"Ok, and?"

"Its instantaneous. The wolf looks into her eyes after the first time he phases and suddenly his whole world shifts and his focus is all about his imprint, about loving her and making her happy." Kim squeezed my hand, "It's a good thing."

"So what if he doesn't like her?"

"He can't, he can't not love his perfect match."

"What if he loves someone else?"

"The imprint pull would break them up, all he would think about or desire is his imprint."

"Yeah they can't even look at another woman like that anymore." Kim was nodding and smiling at me.

"So I am Sam's imprint?"

"Yes." Emily started to smile as well.

"And he has to love me no matter what?"

"Yes." They both said in unison.

"From the moment he met me?"

"Yup, and it hurts them to be away from you. They have to be near us, to be anything we need them to be, brother, friend, lover or mate. Though no one has rejected her mate, not that we know of anyways, they say it might kill them if we did. And being away from them hurts us too so we aren't entirely sure its even possible."

"And the love and security they provide is very tempting and the pull of the imprint draws us to them too."

"So Sam has to be with me because some supernatural force wont let him have someone else and it will not only hurt me but might kill him if I ever left La Push?"

They exchanged another look, their smiles dropping as they realized I wasn't as thrilled about this as they had thought.

"Sam loves you." Kim tried to reassure me.

"Sam has to love me!" I snapped at her standing up from the couch.

"Where are you going Bella?" Emily stood as well.

"Home, I need to think. I need to talk to Rylan."

"You can't tell him any of this." Kim looked almost panicked.

"I know that. I just need some space to breath. When Sam calms down and comes back tell him I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"You can't run away again Bella." Kim reached out to take my arm but I yanked it away from her.

"I know that Kim. I promised him I wouldn't and apparently it would only damage us both." I snapped at her.

She looked like she wanted to say more, tears were welling in her eyes but Emily put her hand on her shoulder and with tears in her own eyes told her to let me go.

When I got in Rylan was on the couch watching an old movie, "You're back early, thought the dinner thing would be way later. Sorry I couldn't make it, had to deal with some conference calls. My uncle…" Rylan trailed off as he got a good look at me as I sat in Charlie's recliner, "What happened honey?"

"Sam and I got into a fight."

"And you didn't stay to work it out?"

"We both needed a little breathing room to cool off. I told him I'd talk with him tomorrow."

"Want to talk about it?"

"No" I told him, shaking my head and finally letting myself cry. Rylan came over and pulled me into his arms. He held me while I cried and then we curled up on the couch watching old movies on the AMC.

God I loved this boy, he always knew exactly what I needed.

Rylan was leaving to go back to Seattle today, his flight left early in the morning Sunday so he was spending the night at the airport hotel. We slept in and made French Toast. We talked about his maybe move to Seattle, about my job and what I really wanted to do. We debated the merits of The Big Bang Theory versus How I met your mother and Family Guys versus the Simpsons; the former choice winning hands down for the first pair and a tie in the latter pair.

Then we went to the rental office in Port Angeles and got him a car. We hugged each other goodbye. I cried, as I hated saying goodbye to Rylan, it was even harder than saying goodbye to my mother.

He held me close and told me things would work out with Sam and he would let me know about the Seattle plans once he was able to sort things out. He kissed my forehead and told me he loved me. I hugged him tightly and told him the same before letting him go.

I watched his car disappear before getting into mine and heading back to Forks. I pulled up to the house but didn't get out. I sat there a while as I thought, then started the car and drove out to the reservation to the Black's house.

"Hey Bella." Jake called, pulling me out of the cab and into a big hug. "Saw the mind meld argument, quoting star trek, the Vulcan mind meld, I love it." He laughed and set me down.

"Great Jake. Um, listen I was wondering who all knew about this shit, so you know I didn't mention it to anyone else."

"Well the pack and the girls of course and then the council so Sue, Billy and Old Quil all know, and Anne Quil's mother and well um, well your dad saw me phase one day so he's in know too."

"My dad knows you're a werewolf?" I was stunned, I didn't picture Charlie as being good with weird but then maybe I got it from him.

"Yeah, he freaked for a bit but he's cool. Doesn't like us to talk about it much with him but I know Billy filled in the details for him."

"Right, well um, is Billy home?"

"Yeah, sure. You want to talk to Billy?" he asked sending me a funny look.

"Um, yeah, if its ok."

"Sure."

Jake pushed open the door, "Billy! Bella's here wants to talk with you!" he shouted into the little house. "Ok well, I guess I'll go give you some privacy. You sure I can't help or maybe one of the girls? Or Sam, he'll tell you whatever you want to know." I rolled my eyes already knowing the kind of half-truth that could come out of his mouth, I mean really, as if mind melding with seven teenage boys about our sex life and imprinting weren't things about being his mate I should know!

"I just want to talk to Billy, thanks Jake." I told him as I saw Billy wheeling himself down the hall to us.

"Ok, Bells. Just holler into the woods if you need me, I or one of the guys will hear you."

"Sure, sure. Thanks Jake." I waited a few minutes for him to get a ways away before I turned back to Billy. "Did you have some time for me Billy?"

"Sure Bella, you know you are like family. Come on and sit down." I went to sit on the couch near where Billy sat in his chair.

"Thanks Billy, its just, well I need you to tell me about this wolf stuff, because I am so confused and Sam just keeps things from me he thinks I might flip out over and the girls tell me things I do flip out over because Sam didn't tell me and I am not really sure what this all is."

"Ok, Bella. First take a deep breath, everything is fine, you tell me what you know and I'll see if there is anything I can clarify or that you don't know."

I nodded, "Sam and Jake and the others are wolves, but not Kim and Emily who are imprints." He nodded so I continued, "Imprinting is when a wolf sees a girl and the spirits decide she is his mate and he has to love her and care for her and no one else from that moment on whether he wants to or not."

Billy frowned so I paused to let him speak, "Not exactly. An imprint is the wolves soul mate, their other half. The imprint makes the wolf see that."

"But he has no choice right, I mean they have to be together."

"Again, not exactly. The wolf will be whatever the imprint needs, whatever she chooses. He will be her friend, her brother or her partner."

"But he can't choose to be with someone else."

"No. Once he finds his soul mate he doesn't want anyone else."

"What if he loved and wanted her before?"

"It is a drop of water in the pot, compared to how he loves his soul mate."

"What if he doesn't like her?"

"How can a man not like his other half?"

"But he didn't choose her."

"No fate did, fate found him the woman who would most complete him, the woman who would love him best and make him a stronger and better wolf and better man. A perfect mate to bear stronger cubs with."

"But she can choose someone else?"

"In theory yes, though the imprint works both ways and the imprinted does feel the pull to be near her wolf and he is her other half, the man who can make her happiest, it is hard not to desire that kind of love, devotion and commitment."

"Is it love? Or is it just an illusion made up by the imprint to make them think they are happy together so that the wolf line is continued?"

Billy hesitated as he thought over my words so before he spoke I added another thought, "Would the man have chosen the woman if the imprint hadn't made itself known forcing the wolf to choose her?"

"I believe in the end they would have found a way to each other yes."

"So Jared sat for nearly two years beside his soul mate without so much as noticing her and then one day he imprints and is madly in love with her? And what about Paul? I heard stories about him and how much he used to play around until he imprinted on Emily, would he have become all domesticated or would he be out fucking or fighting whichever he found first like he was before?"

"These are not easy answers young one. We all must choose our own beliefs. I believe that there is one person out there meant for us all. We are often to blind to see that person. The imprint is like a bright blinking neon light pointing the wolf to his one true mate."

"I just don't want Sam to have to be with me because he has no choice. Wouldn't he end up resenting me?"

"Never, you are not someone he got stuck with Bella, you are his greatest gift. It is his honor to love and protect you. He desires little more than your happiness. You are the gift to balance out the weight of his responsibilities."

"What about my life? I know it is selfish Billy but I am eighteen, what about going away to school and traveling the world, suddenly a wolf looks at me and I can never leave La Push? At least not without making us both suffer."

"Wherever you went Bella what you would be looking for, home, family, love, they are all here with Sam."

"But what about school?"

"You can go to school Bella. There is a college in Port Angeles and some schools offer online programs. You can become whatever you like."

"What about a vacation, visiting Renee, seeing the world."

"These would be difficult, yes. Sam is alpha and until Jake takes over he can leave even less then the others. You could visit your mother, it would be difficult but you could go and she could visit you. Life is not always easy or fair and some things we must lose so other things can be gained."

I nodded. "What about this mind-meld shit… sorry Billy, crap."

"I live with Jacob, you may curse around me Bella." Billy laughed. "That, mind-meld shit, helps them to fight, helps them to stay alive when there is a threat."

"But they can all see me naked and…" ah shit did I just admit to my fathers best friend I was having sex with Sam? I mean the man was practically my uncle.

"Yes Bella." He laughed again, "they can all see each other but some things it is best not to talk about. Better to focus on it helping Sam to fight better and stay safer."

"I know you're right, some things must suck because others are better, but you aren't the one that has seven teenage boys adding vivid picture images of you to the spank bank."

Billy laughed loudly, "no, I am not." I giggled with him. "Tell me Bella, is there more you wish to talk about?"

"Is there more I should know? Sam hasn't told me much."

"As a wolf he will not age."

"Right he told me that, and as long as I am his mate I wont either and something about marking, what's that?"

"Marking is a sort of marriage ritual, once it is done the imprint will be complete and the pack and council will consider you married. Though I imagine Charlie and Renee will want the real thing for you too, especially since Renee doesn't know about this."

"But Charlie does?"

"Yes, he saw Jake one day. It is lucky he has a strong heart. Mostly he doesn't want to talk about it but he is a cop and also wants all the information so over time he has learned it."

"Does he know about Sam imprinting on me?"

"Yes, he was surprised, but he knows of any man in the world, Sam would never hurt you, he would die to protect you and would love you better than anyone else ever could. What more can a father want for his daughter?"

"I guess. So what is marking exactly?"

"It does not sound pleasant but I am sure Emily can discuss that with you as it is said that it actually is."

"Ok, but what is it?"

"It is, during, um" I had never seen Billy blush before, "you must be together in a certain way and he will bite you on the back of the neck."

"Bite me?"

"Yes, he will break the skin but the bite will heal faster than is normal for you to heal though it will scar and the mark will be very sensitive. It will also be the temperature of his skin and be imbedded with his scent so all others, or at least all those with their noses will know you as his."

"And that's it, we do it doggy style, he bites the back of neck and the imprint is complete and we are married?"

"Yes."

"What else?"

"What do you mean?"

"Sam turns into a giant vampire killing wolf whenever he wants to or is very upset, and if he changes to close to me I can get hurt, which even if it left me scared would hurt him more than me. Neither of us can leave La Push at least not for long and not without it hurting because he imprinted on me, which means I am his soul mate and he can never be with another. The wolves all share one mind when they are in their wolfy form and marking is wolfy marriage where he bites me while doing it doggy style. What else is there I should know? I mean, I'm not going to give birth to litter am I? Or start growing a tail? He doesn't start peeing on the furniture to mark his territory or humping my leg or anything."

"No, no." he laughed, "your children will be normal babies. The line is passed from father to son and the boys will only change if there is need of them. Though once you are marked you will only ever be able to bear his children. You will not grow a tail or anything else and I am not privy to Sam's personal habits though I believe as with most children Sam was house broken as a toddler."

I laughed with him, "Ok so that's it then? No more surprises? Wait what about Leah? She's a wolf isn't she?"

"Yes, Leah is very special, she is the first and only of our women to go through the transformation. We still do not know why."

"Crap I forgot about the mind meld thingy, my boyfriend and his ex share head space." I groaned.

Billy laughed at me, "yes well that I cannot help you with."

"Ok, but seriously that's it right? No more surprises?" Billy hesitated. "What, Billy, tell me, please."

"Well, it's just that, um. You see as wolves, the boys, well they have a season." Billy blushed again.

"A season?"

"To mate."

"So they can only have sex at a certain time of the year?" No wonder Sam had such stamina, making up for the rest of the year.

"No, not at all. Its just, um, well they are particularly, um, randy during the late summer and fall."

I burst out laughing, I can't believe Billy just called them randy, "You mean they are extra horny?" I asked him blushing and laughing.

Billy laughed with me and nodded, "yes, I suppose I cannot say he wont start humping your leg." We both cracked up until tears rolled down our eyes.

"Thanks Billy."

"Of course Bella. I have always thought of you as family."

"Me too Billy, I'll come around more too so you don't have to suffer so much of Jake's cooking."

"I'd like that very much." He said smiling at me as I got up and headed to the door. "Oh um, Bella, there is one more thing, about, um the season."

"Yeah Billy?"

"It's just with mating season, its purpose is, well, to make puppies, so to speak, so they are very… potent, this time of year."

"I'm on the pill."

"Yes, well good."

I leaned down and kissed his flushed cheek, "Thanks Billy."

I got in my truck and drove out to Sam's, he came around from the back when he heard the truck; almost everyone was there sitting at the picnic table in the back.


	15. Chapter 15

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can. **

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! They not only help me with the story they make me itch to write more so you'll get chapters faster. I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

**Procrastination is great for the imagination apparently because I can't stop writing despite the numerous papers I have due and the exams I need to study for.**

**Enjoy…**

"Calm down now?" I asked him climbing out and walking towards the house.

"I should have told you about the wolf mind."

"You should have told me a lot of things Sam."

"Yes, the girls have informed me of their conversation with you." He shot a glare at the girls and Jared and Paul let out low growls on reflex.

"Don't you blame them for thinking you did what you should have and told me when I asked you about the whole mate thing." I snapped at him.

Sam looked down at the floor, "I know. I just didn't want you to feel like you had to be with me. I wanted it to be your choice."

"What choice Sam? Even before I knew you I had to be near you, I thought I might be going crazy and it hurts to be away from you. I need to know these things, I need to know why I feel the way I do." He still wouldn't look at me. "I need you to not keep things from me." He nodded. I could still feel his sadness so I walked over and wrapped my arms around him, resting my head against his chest, "Promise me from now on no more secrets?"

"I promise." He said wrapping his arms around me. "I swear no more secrets baby-girl. I love you."

I looked up at him my eyes starting to water. "I love you too."

"I'm sorry I scared you." He looked so upset again and I wish I could tell him he hadn't but I wouldn't lie to him.

"I was scared of all the things I didn't know Sam but I am not afraid that you will hurt me." He let out a sigh and hugged me tightly to him.

"I wont I promise. I could never hurt you. I'll make you happy. I'll be a better imprint."

I leaned up and kissed him, "come on lets go see the others and you better apologize to the girls because I know you went all growly mean leader on them."

He laughed and turned us towards the back of the house and the others, "Alpha, baby-girl. I am alpha wolf, at least until Jake steps up. He is rightful chief."

"Jake is, really?"

"He is Ephraim's grandson, the direct line of the tribal chiefs. I am only his great-nephew. But I went through the transformation first so the power came to me."

"Everything happens for a reason, so you became alpha for a reason Sam."

"Perhaps." He agreed as we reached the others.

I elbowed him in the ribs, bruising myself, "Kim, Em, Sam has something to say."

He rolled his eyes at me as grins began to spread across the other guys' faces, "I'm sorry I reacted badly when I learned you told Bella about Imprinting, even though it wasn't your place to say anything."

"Samuel Uley!" I admonished him, "I will not cook for a week."

"I'm sorry girls, I should have told her before, its my fault you didn't realize I hadn't said anything."

"You're forgiven" Kim told him holding back her own giggles at a 5'7, 125 pound woman bossing around the 6'5, 275 pound alpha werewolf.

"Wait till she starts holding out sex." Paul laughed.

"Please, why would I punish myself?" I told him batting my eyelashes. All the wolves started laughing then. "Oh and if any one of you ever makes a comment about me naked or anything pertaining to my private life I will not only not feed you but I will make Sam have you run double patrols on the threat of no sex until you properly apologize and swear never to do it again. I would rather go with out then hear you talking about it, understood?"

All the wolves closed there mouths and nodded except for Leah, Kim and Emily who all burst out laughing.

"Why didn't I think of that?" Kim asked through giggles.

"I know me too, I will have to add in the same from me though I can't use the patrol threat I can make Paul kick their asses and if he's miserable they will be too."

"Sam you better alpha order these fucks silent about our imprints or none of us will be getting any." Jared growled making Leah laugh harder.

I smirked at him and swung around heading for the house, "If you all want supper you had better get to the store and pick up groceries, I am going to start on the biscuits and deserts." I glanced back at them, "You girls coming?"

Emily and Kim got up to follow me into Sam's house. Leah, still laughing, trailed in after us.

Emily began making the deserts while I showed Kim how to make the biscuits. Then she started to make her famous chocolate chip square the guys loved while Emily finished the cookies and started on a baked potato and veggie dish. Leah couldn't cook but we gave her small things to do like chop veggies so she'd still feel included in the group.

Embry and Quil came in with the groceries as the baking went in the oven and the water began to boil for the potatoes. We shooed them back out and turned on the stereo, singing along, laughing and dancing as we made a feast.

We made chicken and gravy with mashed potatoes and veggies, biscuits, macaroni salad and coleslaw. We made up plates for ourselves and slipped them in oven before loading the table and calling the boys in. They attacked it like wild animals. The mental image made me giggle. Sam came over and pulled me into his arms, "Thank you for cooking baby-girl."

"We all did it." I grinned at him and kissed him, "Now go eat before it's gone."

"Want me to make you a plate?"

"I have one thanks."

"Ok," he kissed me and went back over to the table.

"Em come and eat." Paul called into the kitchen his mouth full of food.

She walked over to me with my plate before going over to him. He pulled her onto the seat next to him, his arm around her. Kim was already sitting on Jared's lap while they ate.

I went over to my own mate and sat next to him, eating as much as I could before sliding it over for him to finish. I sat back and watched my family eating. As I looked around though I saw Leah was missing. I got up to check the kitchen but she wasn't there. Peaking out the window I saw her sitting on the picnic bench in the back, alone.

I slipped out the door and walked over to her, she was looking up at the moon. "You don't deserve him." She said not moving her eyes from the sky.

I sat next to her looking up at the sky as well, "maybe not."

"Why did you leave him like that?"

"I was scared." Suddenly I wanted to tell her everything. It was the strangest feeling, I had never told anyone everything before, not even Rylan though he had put together all the bits and pieces to get a decent idea of things.

"Of what?"

"Getting lost, falling in love with him, of everything." I felt a tear slide down my cheek. "It's not easy for me, letting someone love me." I told her, taking a breath to gather my courage I followed my instincts and continued, "When I was sixteen I fell madly in love, he was perfect, and I was never good enough. I knew that from the start but for some reason he liked me." She listened in silence while I spoke, both of us still looking up at the clear night sky, "Slowly he began to take over my life. He liked my hair a certain way so I kept it like that, he liked me to wear and not wear certain things so I did. It sounds so small but it all grew. My friends were not good enough, they were bad influences, and the things I wanted to do were too dangerous or not proper. I couldn't talk to other guys, couldn't do anything without him. Slowly he had come to control everything about me, to change me to be what he wanted. I was like a caged bird but I didn't know how to get away. Somehow I convinced myself that it was ok because I loved him, and that this was the way things were supposed to be. You compromised. Only we didn't compromise. He would speak to me like I was a child and he knew best and I always gave in and did what he wanted. Then one day he hit me." I heard Leah's low growl as I continued, "I swore no man would ever do that. But as I lay there cowering listening to him tell me I wasn't good enough, had never been good enough, I believed him."

I could feel Leah shaking slightly next to me, but somehow I knew she wasn't going to phase, so I just kept talking "I used to wonder how stupid a person had to be to stay in an abusive relationship, but I did it. He was mentally and emotionally abusive and when he broke my heart he also fractured my cheekbone. I was a wreck after he left me. For weeks I operated on autopilot, like a fucking zombie. Then he came back. He came to see me as if nothing had happened, as if just by turning up and saying he loved me all would be forgotten. I finally found the life in me, I finally found the anger in me and I finally told him everything I thought and felt. How he was a manipulative bastard and I hated him."

I took a deep breath, "he was furious." I swiped at the tears forcing myself to go on. "The next week Renee went out of town to one of Phil's overseas games. He showed up at my house. He wasn't alone."

I gripped the edge of the table we sat on as I forced myself to keep talking, "I fought back but they were stronger. His friend held me down while he raped me. Then he did the same for his friend. I wanted to press charges but he warned me that there would be trouble for Renee and Phil if I tried." My voice sounded dead to my own ears as I told her, "His family is very wealthy and money is power. He reminded me of how many people would testify that we had been a couple and some like his friend who was there and also from a powerful family, would say I made it up because he left me. I sat there after they left, beaten and broken all that night and the next day. When I could move I forced myself to the shower and scalded my skin until there was no hot water. When Renee and Phil got back, I told her I was ill and stayed in my bed for days. Finally I forced myself to pretend, for her."

I swallowed the bile building in my throat and forced my thoughts away from the darkness, "When I met Rylan he was like a candle in the dark, leading me back to life. All year I clung to him like he was oxygen, until I could stop pretending, until I was actually living again. I still needed to get away from it though. Shamefully I blamed Renee, where was my mother when I needed her? Why didn't she see the signs and protect me? I didn't really blame her for it all, I love my mother, but I needed a fresh start and going to Jacksonville with her and Phil wasn't it. So I came here."

I paused a moment, to take another calming breath, Leah just sat, waiting patiently for me to continue, "I came here and I met Sam and from the moment I saw him I wanted to be near him, to touch him, to be whatever and whoever he wanted me to be. I didn't understand it; I tried to avoid the reservation. My nightmares were back and when they were not waking me I dreamt of a black wolf and I was never sure if it was protecting me or hunting me. Then I told myself I was being silly, there was nothing special about Sam, no reason to fear him, so I took the job Jared had suggested. The very first day, I let myself stop thinking and I slept with him. All the fear, the doubt and the pain came crashing back and I couldn't breathe. So I ran. I called my candle to lead me back out of the darkness and I ran to hide from Sam, from what he made me feel, from the darkness and pain crashing back around me."

Leah was still trembling next to me but I knew it was from tears and not because she would phase. We sat there in silence pulling ourselves together, still staring up at the moon.

"He would never hurt you."

"I know, the imprint."

"No," she turned to me; "he can't hurt you because of the imprint, he won't because he's Sam."

I turned to meet her eyes, "You love him."

"Since I was fourteen, but then all this happened and we didn't imprint on each other. It was better to let go then tear each other apart later."

"I'm sorry Leah."

"Just love him Bella. Let him love you." She stared into my eyes like she was looking into my soul, "he really does, you know. Love you. Maybe more than he ever loved me."

"Leah,"

"No Bella, its how it's supposed to be. One day maybe I will find my own imprint and I will have that other half of my soul too. I just want him to be happy. I know you can make him happier than anyone just by smiling. But when you left him he fell apart. He couldn't change back for over a day. He couldn't eat or sleep and when we phased we could feel his pain. It was bad Bella. I mean we were worried about him before when we were all trying to think of ways to get you together because he didn't eat or sleep much then and that was over weeks but when you left, when he actually lost you, it nearly killed him."

"I won't leave him again Leah. I love him."

"Then let him in, just take a breath and jump, both feet in. Make him believe."

"The marking?"

"Just love him Bella. He deserves it." She leaned over and hugged me, "Thank you for sharing with me. I am always here if you need me. We are sisters now."

I could hear the sincerity in her voice and hugged her back, "Thank you Leah."

We wiped our eyes and went back inside. Sam looked up as we walked in. I could see his features shifted into a smile, his posture and the tension around his eyes relaxing. I walked over and snuggled into his lap, kissing his jaw line. The boys had cleaned up while Leah and I talked; now they put in a movie. I snuggled closer to my man and drifted to sleep in his arms.

I woke as the movie ended and the others were getting ready to leave. I hugged them all goodbye, squeezing Leah a little tighter. I knew we would be good friends now, we wouldn't always get along but like she said we were sisters. I pulled my tired mate up and led him to bed.


	16. Chapter 16

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can. **

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! They not only help me with the story they make me itch to write more so you'll get chapters faster. I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

**Procrastination is great for the imagination apparently because I can't stop writing despite the numerous papers I have due and the exams I need to study for.**

**Enjoy…**

We were in the kitchen the next morning sipping coffee, me sitting on the counter, him leaning against the one across from me, when I realized exactly what I wanted, Leah had given me the idea and as I fell asleep in his arms I knew it was right, it was also the best sleep I had had in years.

"Sam?"

"Yeah baby-girl?"

"I want you to mark me." He choked on his coffee spewing it out across the kitchen floor.

"You want what?" he asked coughing.

"I want you to mark me."

"Baby, I haven't explained what that means, what it is, you might not like it."

"Do you not want to mark me?" I was suddenly nervous, what if he wasn't ready.

"Yes!" His answer was sharp and instantaneous.

"Then what's the issue?"

"Bella, you don't understand, it's not a small thing I mean, you'd be tied to me, even more than now. You would be my mate end of story. Even if you did leave me you could never have children with anyone else and in the eyes of the council and the pack you would be my wife and not in the able to get a divorce way. Not to mention it requires me to actually bite you, breaking the skin."

"While we do it doggy style, I know. Billy told me about it, when I went to him about imprinting and wolf mind-melding and to see if there was anything else you neglected to tell me."

"You went to talk to Billy?"

"Yesterday before I came here."

"I would have told you."

"When you thought I was ready but you can't make those decisions Sam, like I said no more secrets."

"I know, and I'm sorry but are you sure you want me to mark you? Bella I can't take that back."

"Would you want to?"

"No! But you might want me to."

"I already told you I'm not going any where and I think this way you will believe it to."

"I don't want you to get marked for me Bella." I could see his hands trembling a little.

"Why are we fighting about this? I _want_ you to mark me, I want to complete the imprint and claim _my_ mate. And you want it to."

"Will you marry me?" his words surprised me.

"Isn't that what the marking is?"

"I mean for real, not just with the pack, with a priest and our families and the white dress?"

I made face at him, "Can't we have a justice of the peace? Neither of us is really Christian and the whole church thing is ridiculous, it'd be nicer outside."

"But you'll marry me?"

"Well duh," I rolled my eyes playfully before continuing, "I mean the marking sort of implies the forever part, if you want an actual wedding all the better, Renee and Charlie will be thrilled. Though Renee might think it's a bit fast," I paused thinking about it a second, "actually knowing her she'll think its romantic."

Sam just stood there staring at me. "Sam?" I frowned at him, "Sam?" Oh my god I broke him, "SAM!"

"Huh, stop, I can feel you freaking out."

"I thought I broke you."

"You really said that? You'll marry me?"

"Yes."

Sam strode out of the kitchen, "Sam?"

"Wait here!" he yelled walking out the door and stripping his shorts. I finished my coffee and picked at my muffin but I was too nervous to eat, I mean where on earth had he gone? I practically proposed and then he sort of did and then when I say yes he runs away? That makes no sense! Maybe I should call Leah? Or Paul.

I decide to shower first. When I dressed and came back out Sam still wasn't back. I began pacing the living room.

Twenty minutes later he walks back inside. "Sam Uley where on earth have you been! I cannot believe you just walked out like that! Are you insane! What the fuck!" I yelled at him. He strode over and pulled me into his arms and kissed me until I couldn't breathe.

"Had to get something."

"Huh?" eloquent I know, but when your imprint kisses you senseless you try to come up with a rational thought.

"Come with me." Sam began pulling me out back. I followed him down a little path in the woods to small private beach behind the house. He led me straight down to the water and got on one knee, he was still almost as tall as me. "Isabella Marie Swan will you be my mate and wife for always?"

I grinned down at him, "yes!"

"I went, although at a slightly awkward time since I wasn't prepared, not thinking you would be ready for this for a while, to get my grandmothers ring from where I kept it at my mother's house." He told me opening the little pouch he carried and shaking it over his palm. It was a little white gold band with a small rectangular solitaire. It was elegant and beautiful. I love it. He slipped it on my finger and I kissed him. That quickly led to other things, which led to sand in awkward places.

We showered together and Sam drove me home to get changed into clean clothes and wait with me for Charlie to get home. He had called and said he was brining Chinese and a movie for our father daughter date.

"Hello Sam." Charlie held out his hand and Sam shook it.

"Charlie." Sam greeted him, both smiling widely.

"Yeah, yeah, wolf boy got the girl. I can't believe you didn't say anything dad." He chuckled and hung his coat on the hook.

"You joining us?" he asked Sam ignoring me.

"No, thank you, I have patrol and I am sure Bella wants to spend time with you." He turned to me, "Walk me out, baby-girl."

"Sure." I rolled my eyes at my dad and went outside with Sam where he kissed me.

Before I could lose my courage or train of thought, I pulled away, "listen Sam, about the engagement." I felt his whole body tense up and ran my hand in soothing circles on his arm. "There are some things you need to know. Things I don't want to talk about and I am not sure would be safe for me to be around when you hear them." His body was trembling now, "Rylan knows pieces but until last night I never told anyone everything." I told him, biting back tears. "I told Leah. She can show you. I'd understand if maybe you didn't want me after. I'll still be in your life, no matter what. I promise I wont break the imprint, but if you didn't want to marry me it'd be ok." Sam pulled me into his chest while I tried not to sob.

"Nothing could ever make me not want you baby-girl."

I looked into his eyes and gave him a watery smile, "I love you."

"I love you too."

"See you at the office tomorrow boss" I teased running my fingers up his bicep.

He growled low and kissed me hard, _damn now I had to go inside and watch a movie and eat Chinese with my father all horny for my mate. Well fine, two can play that game._ I smiled wickedly and rubbed up against him, angling my hips to brush against his erection. As I turned he pulled me back into his arms with another low growl.

Whispering in my ear, the heat of his breath making me shiver, "Not nice baby-girl."

"No this is not nice," I breathed out, moving my hips back so my ass rubbed against him; I repeated the motion before slipping out of his arms, "Night Sam." I told him pushing the door open to go inside, I heard him let out a long low curse and turn to head back out into the woods.

Charlie and I ate take-out and watched Lethal Weapon Four. Half way through the movie we heard a wolf let up a long painful howl, minutes later others joined him. I knew then that Sam had finished his run around the boundary lines and gone to Leah. Now he knew everything. Now they all did.


	17. Chapter 17

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can. **

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! They not only help me with the story they make me itch to write more so you'll get chapters faster. I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

**Procrastination is great for the imagination apparently because I can't stop writing despite the numerous papers I have due and the exams I need to study for.**

**Here's the next little chapter, if you ask real nice I might be tempted to post the next tonight as well since it is finished as well and am a good way through the following one, it seems to all be flowing out of my head tonight, hope you approve of where I am taking them…**

I woke up and went to the office early the next day. No one was there. I worked through lunch and to five o'clock. It was a long slow day. I called Sam's cell but there was no answer. I made dinner but I couldn't eat. My heart hurt too much. I went back to work until it got dark. Finally I gave up.

I slipped the pretty little ring off my finger and laid it on the counter. I left a little note with it. _I understand. I'll always be here for you as your imprint. I love you. B_

I wiped at the tears as I got in my truck and started to drive home. Half way there I pulled the truck over since I couldn't see through the tears. I was dirty, used and unworthy just like _he _had said.

My door was yanked open from beside me and I let out a scream.

"Shit! That's loud!" he jumped back hitting his head against the doorframe, leaving a dent, I wondered if the door would close now.

"Fuck Paul, you gave me a heart attack!"

"Move over."

"What? Why? Because you are sitting on the side of the road; obviously not able to drive, definitely not as good as me and there is a fucking leech in the area."

"Oh my god, is it close? What about Charlie?"

"Don't worry, we have it covered. They are chasing that fucker down in the opposite direction. I just don't want you sitting here on the side of the road crying. Just move over and let me drive." I did as he said and he drove. We ended up near the cliffs. "Come on." He grabbed my hand and pulled me out. I followed him to the cliff and we sat down looking out at the darkened horizon.

"You aren't worthless." He said after a while.

"Paul," My voice broke as I said his name, fresh tears streaming down my cheeks.

"You are not worthless Bella. What they did, that was them, they are worthless; they are vile, spineless, loathsome bastards"

I sat there crying as I stared out at the darkness. Paul wrapped an arm around me in comfort.

"He took off Paul, I don't know where he went."

"Why did you tell Leah?"

"I don't know, I just felt like I needed to and then when I realized I couldn't marry him until he knew I was glad I told her, like maybe this was the reason, because he couldn't be near me when he found out or he might accidentally hurt me."

"It killed me what I did to Emily. Still does. They all feel it to. Its not just thoughts that we share as wolves, its feelings too, every emotion behind every thought we feel it like our own. We are all half way in love with all the imprints, it strengthens our bonds to each other as well."

"Where is he Paul?"

"He went crazy when he saw what you told Leah. We all did. The mental images we all created flashed though our minds like a torturous loop."

"Where is he?"

"He, Jared, Jake and Leah went after the prick. Ordered Embry, Quil and Seth to watch over the tribe and the new guys. They are running patrol, I stayed to check on you."

"Thank you Paul." I leaned into him, "When will they be back?"

"When he pays." Paul growled out.

"Paul, they wont find him, they don't even know who he is."

"Kim called Jack, got Rylan's number, he knows more than you think. Not everything like you said but he knows who your ex was, gave us a name. Once one of us catches his scent we'll all know it and there won't be a hole deep enough in hell for us not to find him." His voice was pure menace but I couldn't bring myself to care. _Was I such a bad person that I actually wished harm on another human being?_

"No."

"What?"

"No, it doesn't say anything about you to want him to pay. Its called justice."

"It's vengeance not justice Paul. And did I say that out loud or have we got some weird mind meld thing happening now?"

He chuckled darkly, "Nope, I could just feel you thinking, figured that was what would be bothering you."

"Don't let them kill him ok Paul? I don't want them to be murderers. I don't want them to sink to that level."

"They wont kill him."

"Make sure he never hurts another woman though." I felt my voice tremble and Paul tightened his arm around me pulling me closer to his body in comfort and to provide warmth. We sat silent for a while staring out at the cliff.

"What happened to them? Your parents?" I felt him still next to me.

"She wasn't strong like you and I couldn't protect her from herself when she kept letting him back. The last time I was fifteen. I was in school and he punched her so hard he fractured her jaw in two places, sent her down the stairs; she refused to press charges, again, that night she died of internal bleeding, miscarrying the bastards kid, not that I would have minded a sibling, I always wanted one. He took off after that. I saw him once when I was almost eighteen, nearly beat him to death, told him never to step foot on the res again and he hasn't."

"You do now."

"What's that?"

"Have siblings, the guys, Leah and Kim. And me."

"Yeah I guess I do." He kissed my hair and we stared out over the water again. I must have fallen asleep on the cliff because when I woke up I was lying on Sam's bed. I could hear voices in the living room.

It was Paul, Emily and Kim. "He's not back?"

"No," Paul shook his head.

"He's ok though? All of them?"

"They are all fine." He assured me.

"You want something to eat?"

"No thank you Emily." I went back and crawled into Sam's bed. I slept fitfully the old nightmares mixing with the dreams of my black wolf, protecting me, my mate, my Sam. Others joined him now and I could recognize all the members of the pack even in their wolf form, as they stared down my nightmare growling menacingly. I felt hands grasp mine and I looked to either side to find Kim and Emily with me and I could hear Paul snoring lightly in the other room.

We were a family.

We would all stand by each other.

If only when Sam came back he could find a way to see me without seeing the past that tainted me.


	18. Chapter 18

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can. **

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! They not only help me with the story they make me itch to write more so you'll get chapters faster. I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

**Procrastination is great for the imagination apparently because I can't stop writing despite the numerous papers I have due and the exams I need to study for.**

**I know the last few have been short as is this one but the next one is back to a decent length I promise, this was part of it but I had to divide them…**

I woke to someone kissing every inch of my face.

"Sam."

He kissed me again, "Don't" he placed a kiss to my shoulder, "ever" to the crease of my elbow, "take" the inside of my wrist "this" my palm, "off" and he turned my hand and slipped the engagement ring onto my finger and kissed it, "again."

I couldn't help it, I burst into tears, "You're back."

"Of course, I'm back."

"You left me."

"Never." He kissed my lips gently.

"The others?"

"All back to?"

"No one was hurt."

He laughed, "Silly Bella, we are werewolves what would one pissy little boy do to us?"

"What did you do to him?" He sighed and lay back on the bed.

"Sam?" I rolled over, laying across him and looking down into his eyes.

"He hurt you Bella." He began trembling gently and I ran my fingers along his chest, "I wasn't there to protect you and he hurt you."

"You didn't even know me then."

"Its my job to protect you. He touched you. He…" a felt his chest rumble with his growl as his whole body began to tremble a little harder.

"Sh," I soothed him still making soft circles on his chest, "I'm safe now. I'm here with you and I'm safe."

He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly to him, "I wanted to kill him Bella. Everything inside me screamed to kill him but Paul phased after he brought you home. Showed us that you didn't want that and I couldn't do it. Jake was pissed but Jared knew, I had to do what you wanted me to, I had to let him live. I knew if I touched him I'd kill him so I let them at him. It was Leah who calmed herself enough to phase back first; you should have seen the look on the sick fucks face when she turned into a naked woman. Didn't have that look a moment later when she attacked him. Beat him pretty bad to, she nearly killed him human, when Jake got her off him she was trembling so bad she phased in his arms. Lucky he's a wolf." He sighed as he sat, up, "we didn't kill him Bella, but he wont be so fucking cocky again, he won't ever touch another woman."

"What did you do Sam?"

"Jake and Leah sat back after that, Jake recovering and Leah still quivering with anger. Jared phased and the fucker just sat there cowering. He started to talk about his lawyers or some shit like that. Jared just laughed and asked him what he was going to tell them, giant dogs came out of the desert, turned into Indians and beat the shit out of him for raping a girl? He lifted him up by the throat and growled into his face, told him if he ever touched a woman again we'd be back. We'd make him pay. Show him what it felt like to be held down and violated, that there was a pipe down the alleyway that would work for it. Then hit him in the face. He passed out so we laid back and waited for him to come to. I told Jared to take Leah and call the paramedics with an anonymous tip. Jake got impatient trotted over and pounced on his groin. That woke him up fast enough. I knew I was calm enough now not to kill him so Jake sat back growling while I went forward. Every step I took I remembered every time I was in the woods and heard you scream out from a nightmare, I remembered every time you flinched away from me and the look on your face as you talked to Leah and as you told me you'd understand if I didn't want you. He had hurt my imprint, he had made her feel less than the perfect creature she is, he violated and abused her. I had to let him live, because you wanted it but I couldn't let him get off with a beating Bella. I couldn't."

"Sam?"

"I attacked him. I avoided the major arteries but I ruined his pretty boy face, clawed down his chest to his groin. I snapped at his throat. He shit himself. Jake phased and walked over and I knew I had to stop or he would die. He leaned down and told him you were mine, and if we ever scented him within a state of you again we'd hunt him down, we'd have reminded him of Jared's warning about touching anyone else but he'd blacked out again and we knew we had to get away before the paramedics' came. Jake kicked him in the ribs and we took off. Ran straight home to you."

We lay in silence for a moment as I absorbed all he had said, "I love you Sam."

"God, I love you baby-girl" Sam crushed me to his chest hugging me tightly.

"Why were you so scared to tell me?"

"I don't want you to think I am a bad guy, Bella, a monster."

"You aren't."

"I was. I wanted his blood more than anything."

"No you didn't"

"Bella,"

"No Sam. If you did then you would have killed him, you didn't. I asked you not to and you didn't and you didn't let the others either. You defended me. Protected me from my nightmares. You are not a monster or a bad guy, you are a wolf and a good man; you only protected your pack and your mate."

He hugged me to him again "please Bella."

I knew what he was asking; I needed the same thing, to feel connected to him, to feel whole. I slowly moved to pull of his clothes, kissing all the skin I revealed, reveling in the warmth radiating off him and his forest after a storm scent. I let him undress me next. His lips and tongue burning a path along my skin. When we were finally naked I pulled him to me and kissed him deeply. We came together, slow, rocking gently together, needing the feel of each other more than the release. Afterwards, we fell asleep still entwined, still connected.


	19. Chapter 19

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can. **

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! They not only help me with the story they make me itch to write more so you'll get chapters faster. I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

I woke up in Sam's arms happier than I had ever felt before. I kissed his chest as I got up from the bed. I pulled on one of Sam's t-shirts and used the bathroom. Then I went out to the kitchen, turning on the coffee pot I hummed, singing softly to myself as I began to cook breakfast.

I felt Sam's eyes on me as I stood at the stove, "going to stand there and watch me all morning?" I asked not turning from my task.

Sam laughed lightly, "I can't help it, the sight of you in nothing but my t-shirt is stunning." He came over and wrapped his arms around my waist, and nuzzled his head into my neck, kissing along the bare skin. I could feel his already semi-erect cock against my backside.

I laughed at him, "Don't start anything if you want to eat Uley, you remember the last time that happened."

He kissed my neck one more time before pulling away, "Alright, your right." He moved away to pour himself a mug of coffee and then stood leaning against the counter watching me again.

"Stop staring Sam its distracting, I'll burn your eggs. Go set the table or something."

He laughed, "I can't help it if the sight of you, fresh out of my bed and cooking breakfast makes me want to throw you over my shoulder and carry you right back to bed."

"Great I can picture my future now, barefoot and pregnant with a spatula in hand yelling at toddlers to wait until their father got home." I laughed.

He growled and stalked towards me, "Barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen huh." He said pulling me into his arms and kissing me soundly.

"Down Fido." I laughed pushing him away, "Let's worry about getting married before we start on the kids."

"Keep calling me Fido and I might start humping your leg." He said letting me go to turn back to the stove.

"Is it that season already? I thought I have a few months." I laughed.

"What else did Billy tell you?" He asked picking up his mug again.

"That about covers it. Why, is there something else?"

"It's nothing really."

"Sam?" I asked my voice going harder as I turned off the stove.

"It's nothing Baby-girl. Just that, well, we sort of need permission for the marking. You aren't Quileute so it might be different, then again Charlie knows so he can give it."

"That's it, Charlie needs to give his permission?"

"The council as well but they wont go against and imprint."

"So what's the problem?" I asked, plating our food.

"Nothing, I told you, it's nothing Bella. The council will hold a meeting, I'll ask your fathers permission for you, he gives it, then we ask the council for their blessing, they give it, then we have a bonfire, the pack gives a gift and you and I go home and complete the marking."

"So it really is sort of like a wedding."

"Exactly."

"Can we do it all at the same time? Council meeting in the morning, wedding in the afternoon and reception at the bonfire?"

"If that's what you want, the gift from the pack might have to be between the wedding and reception since the non-in-the-know guests will find it weird but it should work."

"What do you want?"

"Whatever makes you happy."

"Sam."

"Seriously Bella, all I want is to marry you and mark you, same day or two separate events I don't mind, though it will be hard not to mark you after I marry you since I already fight the urge so I think it has to be before if its not at the same time."

"Do we need the councils permission to marry?"

"No but we probably need Charlie's." He hinted.

"Right, well I think he saw the ring but he didn't comment and I didn't want to tell him until… until you were with me."

"We can tell him today?" It sounded more like a question than a statement so I smiled as I nodded.

"And we have to call Renee." I told him.

"Will you come to my mother's for dinner so we can tell her as well?"

"Your mother," I hadn't even thought about his parents, "does she know about imprinting?"

"No, she doesn't know about the wolves."

"Will she like me?"

"Why wouldn't she?" he asked kissing me lightly on the lips.

"What if she doesn't?"

"She will."

"But, if she doesn't?"

"Then she will learn to love you."

"Sam."

"Bella. I am a grown man; I do not need my mother's approval or permission. You are my imprint and I love you. I am going to marry you. And there is nothing to worry about, my mother will see how amazing you are and how happy you make me and she will love you."

"Fine. But do we have to see her tonight?"

He frowned at me, "Why not?"

I groaned, "I have nothing to wear to meet her."

He laughed, "You don't need to dress up Bella."

"She's the mother of the man I am going to marry, she'll be my mother-in-law, I have to make a good impression."

"You will, regardless of what you wear."

"Sam." I whined.

"I don't know baby, ask Kim or Emily, or talk to Leah she and my mother get along great."

"Wonderful, your ex-girlfriend and your mother get along great." I rolled my eyes at him.

"There is nothing between Leah and I now. There hasn't been for a long time."

"I know." I told him pouting.

He leaned over and kissed me again, "Please Bella."

It was the only thing he had really asked me to do, how could I say no, "Fine, we'll have dinner with your mother."

He looked into my eyes a minute and a little frown formed between his eyes, "We can do it another night Baby-girl, it's ok."

"No," I tried to assure him with a smile, "I'm just nervous. Tonight is good."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'll call Kim, she had to meet Jared's mother. And maybe Leah too, she'll be able to tell me more about your mom so I don't go in blind."

"It will be fine, baby-girl."

"Yeah." I told him, "Of course it will." I leaned forward and kissed him. "Let's clean up and head over to see Charlie."

"I'll clean up, you go shower."

"Hmmm," I hummed as I stood up, "Does that mean you wont be washing my back?" I asked innocently.

He growled and swung around in his chair at the same time as he reached out and grabbed my wrist pulling me into his lap for a kiss.

Two hours later we climbed out of my truck at my house.

"Dad!" I called as we walked in.

"In the kitchen Bells!" he called back.

I walked in the kitchen to see my father at the stove, "Oh no, what are you doing Charlie?"

"Making a grilled cheese for lunch. Geez Bella, can work the stove you know. Before you came to live with me I even used the oven."

"To make what? When I got here all you had was a freezer of fish, some potatoes, bread and coffee."

"You forgot the Mac and Cheese and soup in the cupboard" he laughed, "I made that, grilled cheese sandwiches, and I baked fish and potatoes and carrots."

"And the rest of the time you ate at the diner." I laughed. "It also smells like the bread is burning, want me to take over?"

"Damn." Charlie turned back to the stove, "Just rusty is all, need to practice, you wont be with me forever Bells."

"About that Charlie," Sam said, his arm snaking around my waist and pulling me back into his chest, "I asked Bella to marry me."

"And?" He asked flipping his sandwich onto a plate before turning to face us, "obviously she hasn't run off to Seattle or Jacksonville."

"Dad!"

"Well Bella, you run off on a man after…" his face went red, for that matter so did mine, "well, one might expect you to run off at the mention of marriage."

"This is different, I know what's going on now, before I just thought I might be going crazy."

"So I take it you said yes then?"

I nodded and Sam spoke up again, "I didn't ask your permission and I'm sorry, the conversation came up rather sooner than I'd thought but I would like your blessing."

"Well of course, as if I wouldn't have given it, I mean you know you had it when," Charlie went red again, peaking my curiosity, I would have to ask Sam about that later, "well, with the imprint and all, of course I support your relationship. Bit fast for marriage but I suppose in your case it don't make much of a difference, not like you'll change your minds."

"No sir, no chance of that." Sam grinned.

"Can I offer you a sandwich?" Billy asked, holding out the plate with the slightly burned sandwich on it.

"I'd never say no to food." Sam laughed taking the offered plate.

"Bit burned on the one side." Charlie shrugged.

"Tastes great." Sam assured him.

"How about you Bella?" he asked turning back to the stove.

"I can make them Charlie."

"Nonsense, I told you, I need the practice besides looks like you'll be moving out sooner than I had thought. When will that be by the way?"

"Oh, um, I'm not sure, we haven't talked about it."

"I'd move her in today but I wont steal her away from you like that." Sam told him putting the already empty plate on the counter.

"Hah," Charlie laughed, "You know I'd not part with her for a lesser man Sam Uley."

"Thank you sir."

"You give me a few days to get used to the idea huh. Maybe we can have another movie night this Sunday before you leave?"

"Sounds great Charlie, maybe we can make it a weekly thing, I can come over and make dinner, spend the evening together?"

Charlie's voice had gotten a little gruff as he answered, "I'd like that kid; I'd like that a lot."

Charlie made three more sandwiches and we all sat down to eat together, they were all nicely golden brown with perfectly melted cheese. Who would have guessed, Charlie made a mean grilled cheese.

"Charlie, there's uh, one more thing." Sam shifted in his chair.

"She's not pregnant is she?" his eyes flashed over to me, "I mean, your not pregnant yet right? I don't think I'm ready for that."

"No!" I assured him, "_I'm_ not ready for that yet. Not at all, in a few years maybe but not now and definitely not before we're married."

"Right, well, good. So then, what is it?" Charlie asked turning back to Sam.

"I'd like your permission to mark her."

"To bite her you mean?" Sam nodded, "Well I suppose that's up to her son."

"I asked him actually."

"It's marriage to the pack." He added.

"Well alright then, you have my blessing for that to then."

"We'll need your actual permission in a formal council meeting." Sam told him, "Billy can explain it, if you like."

"Sure, sure. You just let me know when."

"We haven't picked a date or anything yet dad, but I want it to be the same day as the wedding."

"Ok, kid. Whatever you want. I suppose that will take some planning. Have you told your mother yet? Is she going to help you?"

"I'll call her later today and tell her."

We moved on to talking about minor things, while we finished eating. After lunch Charlie was heading into the station for a few hours and Sam had to check in with the pack and the council, so I shooed them away and tidied the kitchen before picking up the phone.

My fingers automatically found the familiar keys, as it rang I briefly wondered at the urge to call Rylan before my mother but shrugged it off, I loved Renee but I couldn't imagine telling anyone before Rylan.

"Isa? Tell me you're ok. Things didn't get worse after I left did they? Are you still fighting? Did he hurt you? Is everything ok down there? Do you want me to fly back? I can be on a plane in a couple hours." Rylan said, as he answered his cell, not even giving me time to say hi.

"Hello to you to Rylan. I'm ok. No, they got better. We aren't fighting. He would never hurt me. Everything is wonderful down here. I do want you to fly back. Oh and I'm getting married."

"Sorry honey. Hello. Wait, did you say married? As in he proposed!" Rylan's voice had risen and he was now yelling into the phone.

I laughed, "He asked, I said yes. We just told Charlie. I have to call Renee when we hang up and I am meeting his mother tonight."

"Wait you called me before your mother? I'm touched honey. Now tell me _everything!_"

I laughed again, I felt a twinge of guilt at having to edit the truth but I knew I wasn't allowed to tell Rylan about the pack, no matter how much I wanted to, "We were talking about the future and Sam said he wanted to marry me. I said yes and he froze, just staring at me for a minute, then he asked if I really just said I would marry him, when I said yes he bolted from the house yelling at me not to go anywhere." I laughed, "I was a fucking wreck waiting for him to get back."

"Wait he said he wanted to marry you, then ran away when you said yes?"

"Yes, well no. He ran to his mother's house to get his grandmothers ring. He got back twenty minutes later and dragged me down to the beach behind his house to ask me properly. It was so sweet Ry, he got down on one knee and everything."

"So you're actually engaged? You are going to marry him?"

"Yes. I am. Can you believe it?"

"No" he sounded serious, "Bella, are you sure? I mean, you were freaking out about sleeping with him only a few days ago."

"I know, I was just scared because of David. But I'm not any more. I love him Ry and he really loves me to. I swear I wouldn't do this if I were not sure, more than sure. This is it, he is my forever."

"About David Isa, Kim called about your ex, I told her his name; I know you didn't tell me but the wealthy run in small circles. I had to find out who he was, it wasn't hard, when I approached him, he made some sick comment about you, I warned him to stay away from you, that you were under my protection and if he tried to contact you again I would make sure everyone knew all his dirty little secrets. Even if you wouldn't press charges he'd be ruined."

"I know you told her. I didn't know you confronted him, thank you Ry, for everything over the last year, you really saved me." I bit back tears; I really loved Rylan. "Sam knows everything about my past The bastard won't ever hurt anyone again, but please don't ask, I can't tell you, I would but I really can't."

"I wont even ask Isa. I'm just glad your safe. Whatever he got, he deserved. I love you honey."

"I love you to Ry."

"So Sam knows everything."

I nodded even though he couldn't see me, "yeah."

"And you're sure you want to marry him?"

"Positive."

"And Charlie was ok with it."

"He gave his blessing."

"So you are getting married."

"I'm getting married."

Rylan squealed, "ok, call me as soon as you get back from the mother's tonight, I want to hear everything. What are you going to wear? When is the wedding? I will clear my schedule so we can start planning."

"I have no idea what to wear. What if she doesn't like me? We haven't set a date yet but when do you think you can come down?"

"Is it warm there? Wear that cute v-neck white sundress I bought you in Seattle with the black spaghetti straps and tie under the bust and black and gray paisley flower type pattern around the skirt. With your your white tie wedges if its more casual or your black strappy healed sandals if it's more formal. Take a black cardigan for the casual or a black pashmina for the more formal."

"God, what would I do without you!"

Rylan laughed, "lucky you don't have to find out honey. Let me clear my schedule since it's not an emergency and I will be there more than a couple days you'll have to give me a day or two, I'll send you flight details as soon as I have them."

"I love you Ry."

"I love you to Isa. Always."

"Forever."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Rylan laughed, "Go call your mother." He laughed again, "My Isa, getting married and I never even met him."

"Well he will have to pass the Rylan approval test before the wedding, but I'm not worried. You'll love him."

"Honey if he makes you this happy, I already do."

"I'll call you tonight."

"I'll be waiting. Don't worry though Isa, she'll love you, who wouldn't."

"Thanks Ry."

We hung up and I picked up the phone to call Renee.

"Hello?"

"Phil, it's Bella."

"Hey, Bella, how are you? How's Forks? Your mom is right here."

"I'm great, Forks is good and can you put me on speaker phone?" Geez, what was with people and running questions together today?

"Hi, Bella. Oh my god, it has been ages since we heard from you! How are you? How's Charlie? Are you liking Forks? Do you want to come home? I can book a flight for you right away, you'll love Jacksonville baby, it's sunny everyday, and you'll have your own room; it even has a little bathroom attached just for you. And you can take art class with me, we are painting bowls of fruit now but next month we start painting people and there will be a nude model coming in, its down at the rec center and they have self-defense class to, I think I'll take that one next time. Oh and Phil and I are taking a cooking class together, it's a wine and cooking pairing class, I'm not to bad so long as I remember the stove but I take a timer with me when something is in the oven so I don't forget. I'll make you pasta with clams in white wine sauce; it's lovely. And there are lots of places hiring or you could apply to the university, I know its to late for September but you could start in January and we'd have all summer and autumn to just spend time together and go to Phil's games, it will be much better now you've graduated. Sorry I didn't make it down for the ceremony baby but Phil had that big game and I broke my toe and twisted my ankle in that silly Jive class, I mean who dances the Jive now a days? Oh Bella it will be wonderful, we can book your flight home right now."

I listened as Renee prattled on in her usual hyper speed, waiting for her to come up for air so I could get a word in.

"Renee honey, let's see why Bella called before we go booking plane tickets." Phil finally broke in.

"Of course, tell me everything baby, I want to hear all about graduation and what you want to do now, I mean if you don't want to go to school right away that's ok. We can spend the year travelling with Phil and taking classes, and you could get a little job part-time."

"Actually mom, I'm calling because," damn this was harder than I had thought it would be, she was so excited about me coming back to live with her and I had never even hinted about thinking about it.

"What is it Bella?" Phil asked.

"Is everything alright baby? Are you ok? Do you need me to come and get you?"

"No mom, everything is fine. It's great actually." I took a deep breath, "I'm calling because I met someone."

"You did?" Renee gasped, "Bella that's wonderful! When? Where? How? Who is he? Has he asked you out?"

"I met him when I first moved down, he's from the reservation, his name is Sam and I met him through Jake, Billy Black's son. He's not exactly asked me out, I mean we are together, I'm calling because, well, because he's asked me to marry him."

"Oh my god!" Renee screeched. "Did you say yes? How did he ask? Is he gorgeous? Does he have a job baby, because you don't want to marry a man who can't hold a steady job, I don't mean that in a racist any way, I don't have anything against Indians but the reservation doesn't have the best reputation and regardless of where he's from you want a man with a good job baby. How about his family? When will the wedding be? I can't believe my baby is getting married."

"He has a great job mom, actually he owns a construction company that does most of the work on the reservation and some work in Forks."

"His own business, that's wonderful baby, a man should be able to support his family. But is he older than you?"

"He's twenty-two next month."

"Are you sure this is what you want baby, it's awfully fast? You aren't pregnant are you?"

"No, and we're sure mom. I love him and he loves me. We want to get married."

"Well baby you always had a good head on your shoulders, I just hope you aren't making the mistake I did with your father, I mean, the reservation is even smaller than Forks and if he has his own company down there I don't think he plans on leaving."

"He doesn't but I like it here, honestly mom, I'm really happy here. Sam makes me really happy."

"Oh baby, tell me everything. What does he look like? How did he propose? Have you told Charlie? When's the wedding? You know Phil has play off's in the spring so it wont be a good time."

"Bella, congratulations, if you are sure this is what you want and you love him I am happy for you."

"Thanks Phil."

"I am going to go now and let you two chat about all this alone. I love you."

"Love you to Phil. I'll talk to you soon."

"Ok, he's gone, now tell me everything." Renee gushed a moment later.

I laughed, "He's gorgeous mom. He has these chocolate caramel eyes I could swim in, I get tingles on my skin whenever I feel him look at me. He's really tall, like 6'5 and muscular with broad shoulders and a washboard stomach. He also has a smile that makes my knees weak." And a growl that makes me soak my panties, I mentally added. "His name is Sam Uley, and he is really involved with the reservation," if you call turning into a wolf and secretly patrolling its boarders to keep it safe from vampires involved, "he does work for the council sometimes to so Charlie knows him through Billy. We told him at lunch today and he's given his blessing."

"And how did he ask?"

"On the beach behind his house. It was really sweet, he even got down on one knee."

"And you've slept with him."

"Mom!"

"Bella, you need to test the car, not just admire it, before you buy it."

"Mom!" I was bright red at this point.

"Well?"

"Yes." I finally admitted, going a new shade of red, even for me.

"And? Come on Bella, you know you can talk to me about this. Are you still on the pill? Have you talked about kids? You did say you weren't pregnant yet."

"No, I'm not pregnant, I am still on the pill and kids are a couple years off I promise."

"Is he good?"

Okay, now I think I might have turned magenta, "He's, it's, well,"

"You don't want to marry someone you aren't compatible in bed with baby. Your father and I had a great sex life and with Phil it's even better, we have sex several times a week, sometimes even in the afternoon."

_Gross!_ "TMI mom, I don't need to know about you and dad, or you and Phil."

"Bella, sex is a very important part of the relationship, even the best relationships can fail if the sex is bad."

_I cannot believe I am having this conversation with my mother._ I sighed heavily, "Mom, you don't have to worry, Sam is great, we are great together."

"So the sex is good?"

I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath, "It's amazing mom."

She squealed, "is he big? Do you orgasm? How often do you do it? It will slow down after your married, especially after the first year, you need to mix it up a little to keep it exciting, you should think about getting nicer under things, also try roll playing, Phil wears his uniform sometimes and I dress like a school girl fan, or he also really likes…"

I quickly interrupted, "Mom, mom, I'm begging you, please, stop, please, TMI, way TMI."

She laughed, "oh Bella, your so old fashioned, there is nothing wrong with talking about sex."

"There is when it's about your mother."

She laughed again, "alright baby, I was just trying to help."

"Thanks but I'm good. Really, Sam and I are good. The sex is great. We stop doing it several times a day and I'll start to worry about spicing things up ok."

"Several times a day? How often are you doing it now?"

I blushed realizing what I had said, "Um, I don't know, I don't see him everyday."

"But every time you are together?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"And more than once?"

"Sam has a high sex drive."

"And you?"

"Oh, I keep up with him just fine." I admitted ruefully.

"That's my girl." Renee laughed.

I blushed again, after this conversation I might be permanently red, "Yeah, ok, can we stop talking about it now?"

"Alright baby. Just remember to be vigilant about taking the pill, until you are ready to be a mother."

"I will, I promise."

"You let me know as soon as you pick a date and we can go dress shopping together, maybe go to New York."

"Sure, maybe. I'll call you soon, ok." I knew I wouldn't be going to New York, I wouldn't leave Sam; he was still getting over the last disappearing act.

"My baby girl is getting married." Renee sighed.

"I love you mom."

"I love you too."

I hung up the phone and sat back into one of the kitchen chairs exhausted.

So that was my family done, now we just had to tell Sam's. _Oh god. I hope she likes me. What if she doesn't take it as well as my parents? What if she thinks we are moving to fast? Why wouldn't she, we were moving fast, I mean my mother was unique and Charlie knew about imprinting, what would his mother think? Oh god, she'd probably think I was pregnant. _I looked at the clock; Sam was picking me up in a couple hours. I would bake to take my mind off things before getting in the shower, thank god Rylan had picked out an outfit. Maybe I should call Kim or even Leah for advice. _Oh god I hope she likes me._


	20. Chapter 20

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

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**Sorry for the wait school is crazy right now, I will do my best to keep updating a couple times a week though.**

I pulled on my wedges with shaking hands.

"Alia is wonderful, she's a really nice woman, stop worrying Bella." Leah tried to reassure me from where she lay on my bed.

"What if she doesn't like me though?"

"You're his imprint Bella, it's not like he'll leave you."

"But she's his mother. She'll be my mother-in-law"

"She'll like you Bella and she'll grow to love you, especially once she sees how happy Sam is with you."

"What if she thinks I'm pregnant?"

"You'll tell her you aren't and when you don't get fat in a few months she'll know you aren't."

"Should I have got her something?"

"You made a pie."

"What if she doesn't like it?"

"You are a great cook Bella."

"Does she like blueberry pie? Maybe I should have made strawberry or apple, or a cake."

"She likes blueberry Bella. Breathe. It will be fine. You look great. The pie will taste perfect. She will not be able to resist liking you."

"Ok." I said taking in deep breaths.

"Sam's here."

"Oh god." I started to hyperventilate, "Are you sure? It can't be time yet."

"Breath Bella. I heard his truck pull up. It will be fine, just breathe, you're going to freak him out. Just breathe."

"Bella!" I heard Sam shout as the door slammed open.

"Up here." Leah called, "She's fine."

"What's going on?" Sam asked bounding up the stairs and coming into my room.

"Nothing, she's just nervous."

"Bella, baby, I can go tell her alone, you can meet her another time." He said pulling me into his arms. My body relaxed immediately as his warmth and forest after the rain scent surrounded me.

"No, I'm fine. I just really want her to like me."

"She will." Leah reassured, standing up.

"It will all be fine Bella." Sam assured me, kissing my forehead.

"Ok," I took a deep breath in, "I'm ready." I stepped away from Sam and Leah pulled me into a hug.

"Call me tomorrow, let me know how it all went, I know it will be fine though."

"Thanks for coming Leah."

She pulled away and shrugged, "What are sisters for? Now, go, relax and have a nice time. Alia will like you and the pie." She winked and left, waving at Sam without turning back, "Later Sam."

"Thanks for staying with her Leah."

"Yeah, yeah. Like I said, sister thing." She called already going down the stairs.

"Ok." Sam said rubbing my arms, "You ready to go?"

I took in a deep breath and looked up into his eyes, melting in their chocolaty depths, "Yeah, I just need to get the pie in the kitchen."

He took my hand and led me downstairs, then waited at the door while I grabbed the pie.

"Smells good." Sam said holding it as I got in his truck.

"It's blueberry, do you think she'll like it?"

"Sure, she likes pie." He said handing it to me before closing my door.

"So how did your mother take the news?" he asked as he started the car.

"Great. She asked if I was pregnant and if this was what I really wanted, then she asked how we met, how you proposed, what you looked like, and how often we had sex."

The car swerved a little as I said the last part, "She asked what?"

"Apparently sex is very important in a marriage and if it wasn't good I should rethink the wedding and we should keep it from getting stale by role playing, which she then followed with an example"

His hands tightened on the wheel, "What did you say?"

"That ours was fine and I really didn't want to hear about her and Phil's sex life."

"Fine?" he asked and his eyebrows rose as he looked over at me.

I rolled my eyes blushing, "I told her I would rethink asking for advice when you stopped fucking me several times a day but until then was more than happy with our sex life."

"Fine?" he repeated. "Wait you told her we had sex several times a day?"

"Stop obsessing over the word fine, our sex life is great and you know it and I didn't mean to but she wouldn't drop the subject and it slipped out."

"Great is a much better word than fine baby-girl and what did she say when you told her that?"

"To make sure and be vigilant with the pill until we were ready to have kids."

"That's it?"

"I really didn't want to pursue the topic with my mother Sam, besides the fact that its just wrong talking to my mother about our sex life she has a tenancy to over share hers which is just disturbing, I mean I did mention the role playing example right?"

"What was it?"

"Eww, Sam, I really don't want to think about my mother and Phil and their kinky side."

He laughed, "Ok, what else did she say?"

"About sex? Not much."

He laughed. "About getting married."

"Oh, right, not much. She was really excited, you know, her baby girl is getting married and all that. Wants me to call her as soon as we set a date and go dress shopping with me."

"In Jacksonville?" his frowned a little and I could almost feel a little electric shock of pain in my heart.

"She suggested New York."

He nodded his head, "How long would you be gone?"

"A day or two."

"In New York?" he sounded surprised.

"I don't need to go to New York Sam. They have plenty of wedding stores in Seattle, even one in Port Angeles."

"You should enjoy everything about this Bella, have your perfect wedding dress, your dream wedding. I'll be fine if you go to New York," I could tell it hurt him to say the words, especially when he added a quiet, "just make sure and come back."

"I never really dreamed about weddings Sam. I was never big on being the center of attention and the all the hoop la of a big wedding doesn't really appeal to me."

"So what do you want?"

"What do you want Sam?"

"To marry you." He answered quickly.

"You are, but how?"

"As soon as possible." He answered easily.

"Ok, in what kind of wedding?"

"It doesn't matter Bella, so long as you are happy and at the end of the day you are my wife."

"Do you want to elope?"

He made a face before quickly masking it, "If that's what you want."

"Do you want a big wedding with a couple hundred guests?"

He sighed, "If it makes you happy."

"Sam."

"Bella, I want you, it doesn't matter where or with how many people."

"Sam."

"Fine. I would prefer the pack and our parents be there at least but no I don't care for a large wedding, it will only take more time and be more stressful."

"Thank you," I told him. "I want it to be small, with our parents there and the pack and I think we should invite the council, and Rylan of course, I'd like to invite Angela from Forks as well but that's it for me, I don't know your friends outside the pack but you can pick who you want to come. And if we are having the marking and the wedding combined the reception will be a bonfire so it can be a casual wedding, and I want it out doors, maybe on the beach where you proposed."

Sam was grinning, "It sounds perfect baby-girl."

I grinned back at him, "When should we have it?"

"As soon as possible." He said parking in front of a lovely little one-story house and turning to face me instead of getting out, "When were you thinking."

I set the pie on the dashboard and unbuckled my seat belt, shifting to face him as well. "I'd like an autumn wedding, with the leaves starting to turn."

His face fell a little, "I know weddings take a lot of planning but more than a year?"

"Actually I was thinking this autumn, as in a couple months from now."

"Really?" His face lit up, "Can we plan a wedding so fast?"

"With Rylan's help I could pull off something double the size. It will still be stressful but we'll get it done." I assured him.

"So this autumn, when the leaves start to change, October, November time?"

"Hmmm, something with a good ring to it, September 27th or October 3rd or November 2nd."

"I vote September 27th though it might be early for the leaves depending on the year."

"I'll have to talk to Rylan and see what we can do but I like the sound of a September 27th wedding too." I grinned at him.

He pulled me into his lap and kissed me until I was breathless, "Have I told you how much I love you?"

"Not in a few hours at least, and you haven't shown me since this morning." I pretended to pout at him.

He growled playfully and kissed me again, "Well I will tell you now, I absolutely adore you Bella Swan; I love you more than I ever thought it imaginable to love someone." He kissed me deeply again and I could feel his erection straining his jeans, "And I will show you as soon as we get back home so let's go in and get this over with."

I groaned and kissed him, "Alright, let's go." I shifted off his lap and he groaned as the movement caused me to rub against him.

"And Bella," I turned back to him questioningly.

"Yeah Sam?"

"Eat quickly." I laughed and took the pie from the dash.

All my nerves began coming back as we walked towards the door to the house, "Relax baby-girl." He said placing a hand at my back.

I forced myself to smile up at him.

Sam pushed open the door, "Ma?"

"Sam, darling." The beautiful woman I had seen from the photograph at Sam's came out of the kitchen wiping her hands on a towel.

He kissed her cheek, "Mom, this is Bella Swan."

"Bella, my mother Alia Uley."

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Uley." I said handing her the pie.

She took the pie and glanced to me, "Yes, well thank you; come on in." She said turning back to Sam, "I've made your favorite fry bread Sam, with baked trout. It will be ready in just a minute."

"Can I help at all?"

"Oh it's about done," she seemed to hesitate, "but you might help finish the salad. Sam will you be a dear and have a look at the porch swing, it seems to me it's a little loose and I don't want it to break while I am out having my tea one evening."

"Of course mom." He leaned down and kissed my temple before heading back outside.

His mother turned and silently went to the kitchen so I followed, "You have a lovely home Mrs. Uley."

"It suits me well enough, thank you. Where do you live?"

"With my father at the moment. I graduated a few weeks ago."

"And you work?"

"I do some office work for Sam."

"But you'll go to college in the fall."

"No, I've decided to take a year off to decide what I want to do."

She set the pie on the counter, "Sam always did prefer cobbler, even as a toddler he could tell the difference, I'd not a mind either way but Sam always wanted the cobbler." She murmured just loud enough for me to hear, before turning to hand me a knife and cutting board and point to some cucumbers on the end of the counter, "You can slice those."

I went over and began slicing the cucumbers, unsure of what to say.

"You'll go back to live with your mother now your done school I imagine."

"No. I plan to stay here."

"Hope that's not for my son."

"Why do you say that?"

"Look I don't mean anything against you girl but my boy is just going through some stage with you. He'll get his sense back and go back to Leah like he ought. They were high school sweethearts you know."

"Yes, I know, but they are just friends now." I told her biting back the bile rising in my throat.

She huffed, "Yes, friends, well that's just because they are to stubborn to do what we all know they will and get back on track but they will, its only a matter of time. And the way they are lately it will be soon to."

"Oh?"

"Leah's spent the night there or so some would have it. I'd not gossip about her, she's a good girl and it don't much matter since they'll marry anyhow, just as soon as they get the engagement back on track."

"Engagement?"

"Sam didn't tell you he proposed?" I shook my head biting back tears, "Just after graduation. Those two always were meant to be together. Not sure why he even brought you to meet me. Silly boy. You ought to just go on with your life and not get all worked up about him."

I forced myself not to cry, Sam loved me, he wanted to marry me, I was his imprint, not Leah, "Sam loves me." I told her my voice cracking despite myself.

"Sam's a little more like his father than he'd like is all. Loves the idea of love and the beginning of things but once he gets over it he'll go back to Leah. He's always loved her and always will, anyone can see it in them."

"Ma? Bella?" Sam called, the front door slamming open. I quickly turned back to the cutting board, wiping at my eyes and refocusing on my task. He reached the kitchen less than a second later. "Everything alright? What's going on?"

"Nothing Sam. We're just chatting while we finish up. Everything is fine."

"Bella?" I could feel his eyes burning into me; I knew he could feel my distress.

"Everything is fine Sam." I forced out.

"How's my swing?"

"It's fine, a couple bolts came loose but I tightened them, one's almost rusted through, I'll have it replaced but until then it'll hold fine." He told her, his eyes still on me.

"Well go on and sit down and I'll bring out the food."

"Bella?" Sam said again, waiting for me to turn. I kept my head down as I walked over to him, "What happened baby-girl?" he asked as we walked into the dining room.

"Nothing, its fine Sam."

He growled, "Tell me."

"Don't growl at me, I told you before I am not one of your wolves to be bossed around."

"Bella." He pulled gently on my arm to stop me and I turned looking up at him. He gently ran his fingers across my cheeks, seeing the unshed tears in my eyes, "Please tell me what happened."

"Well, sit down." His mother said coming into the room with a plate and setting it on the table. We sat down; at the round table, Sam still shooting worried looks between me and his mother.

I picked at me plate, head down. "So Bella, where were you thinking of applying when you do go to college?"

"I hadn't really thought about it."

"I'm sure your mother will like you to be back near her."

"She would." I conceded, moving the fish around my plate.

"She never was a small town girl, hated Forks from what I recall. I imagine you might feel similar about small towns."

"I like Forks just fine."

"Yes well, I'm sure you'll still be glad to see it in the review mirror one of these days huh, going some where new and exciting just like your mother."

"Bella is staying here." Sam's voice was hard and I could see the light trembling in his hands. I reached over under the table and touched his knee and the trembling stopped.

"For now sure." She smiled at him, almost dismissing the topic, "How is Leah these days Sam? I ran into Sue down at Anne's bakery the other day, she mentioned the two of you were out hiking in the woods together."

"Leah's fine."

"You should bring her over for dinner again soon, it's been a while since we were able to chat and I remember when I saw her in the grocery a few months back I promised to teach her to make that sweet bread you both like so much."

"I'll tell her to call you."

"Nonsense, you two just stop in next time you are out hiking."

I put my fork down, unable to eat with the rolling motion of my stomach; my left hand was clenched in my lap.

"I'm sorry Bella, do you not like it?" his mother asked her voice dripping with sweetness, "I didn't think to ask Sam what you ate, I just went ahead and made his favorite. He comes by so much less these days, he and Leah used to have dinner with me every week."

"Mother." Sam's voice held a warning.

"What? I was merely inquiring about her tastes Sam?" She asked turning to him, "You can hardly bring a girl to dinner and expect me not to ask about her."

"It's fine. The food is very good, I'm just not that hungry, thank you." I told her hoping to make peace; I did not want to cause Sam to fight with his mother.

"No wonder you are such a little thing, with so little appetite. Sam dear, will you have some more."

"No, thank you, mom."

"Shall we have coffee then? I'll bring out that pie you brought. Did Emily make it?"

"Bella did."

"Oh, do you bake often Bella?"

"Not very but I enjoy it when I do."

"How nice. I always did enjoy desert though could never quite get the crusts right. Yours looks lovely." She said standing.

"Thank you." I stood up to help her with the plates and followed her into the kitchen. "Just set those on the counter and I'll get to them later. You bring this in while I make the coffee." She said handing me the pie and a knife.

As I reached for them she gasped.

"Mrs. Uley?"

"Why are you wearing that? Where did you get it?" She demanded. I realized she was staring down at my left hand. I pulled my hand back quickly. "What have you done?" she hissed at me.

"Mother." I turned to see Sam in the doorway; he was trembling very slightly and looked furious.

"Samuel! What is she doing with my mothers ring? Leah's ring?" she turned on Sam. His trembling increased a little.

"The ring is mine, grandmother left it to me to give to my wife. Bella will be my wife."

"No."

"Mother," Sam began, but his mother interrupted him.

"Leah will be your wife. She was always meant for you. My mother would roll in her grave knowing you put that ring on a pale-face."

"I never took you for a racist mother, grandmother either."

"Oh don't give me that Samuel, I have nothing against the pale-faces, this isn't about that. I have friends from Forks. This is about you and Leah and this pour girl you are leading on. No, I will not allow it."

"Leah and I are over. You don't get a say." He snapped at her. "I will marry Bella this fall and you will show her respect or neither of us will be in your life."

"Sam." I stepped towards him, hopping to soothe the shaking before it got out of hand.

Her head snapped up, "This fall! Why the rush?" she turned angry eyes to me, "Got yourself pregnant did you? Does it even belong to my boy?"

I stood there as if I had been slapped.

"Bella is not pregnant, _yet_" Sam emphasized, "I am going to marry her and she will bare my children."

"This is ridiculous. You are not marrying this girl." She spat.

"Bella," he held out a shaking hand to me, "We're leaving, now."

I moved into his side wrapping an arm around his waist, his shaking stopped immediately, "You will accept this mother."

"And if I don't?"

"Make me choose and it will be her every time." He told his mother, "If you want to be a part of my life you will learn to treat her with the dignity and respect due my wife."

"This is a mistake Samuel." She spat.

Sam just turned and ushered me outside. He slammed the door behind us and stalked to the truck. I bit back tears as I crossed the yard and climbed into the passenger side. Sam started the ignition and drove away from the house. A few minutes later he cursed and slammed his hands down on the steering wheel before pulling over. As soon as the car was stopped he had me in his lap, taking deep breaths in of my hair.

"I am so sorry Bella. I didn't think for a second she would be like that. Treat you like that." I nodded, sniffling. "Please don't cry baby-girl. It doesn't matter what she thinks."

"She's your mother Sam."

"You are my imprint Bella. You are all that matters."

"She's not the only one who will think I am not good enough for you."

"They'll be wrong. You are perfect for me baby-girl. The spirits of our ancestors found you and led you here just for me. So that I could love you."

"Maybe it's a mistake." I sobbed.

His hands stilled in the circles they were making on my back, he pushed me away from his body to look down in my eyes; "It is not a mistake Bella. I will not allow you to run from me."

"I'm not trying to Sam but she's right, I'm not Quileute."

"So? Where does it say that an imprint has to be Quileute? It doesn't, Bella, not anywhere."

I nodded and leaned back into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me again, hugging me tightly, "Let's just go home baby-girl. We'll curl up and watch a movie and forget all about my mother. You met her, she knows we're getting married and its over, now we can just focus on being together and getting married."

"Can you just take me home, to Charlie's, Sam, I'm really tired." He sighed and tightened his arms around me for a moment.

"Alright Bella," he sighed again, he wasn't happy but with hurt still fresh in my voice he couldn't say no to me.

I slid off his lap and back into my own seat. We drove in silence all the way back to Forks.

"I'll call you in the morning ok baby-girl?"

"Sure Sam." I sent him a watery smile. "Everything will be fine in the morning." I leaned over and kissed him gently before getting out of the truck and going inside. I was grateful Charlie wasn't home. I closed the door and leaned against it, sliding down I sat on the floor and cried. I had known something would go wrong tonight, I had felt it in my bones.

After a few minutes I heard his truck start, I knew he had sat there struggling not to come in to try to comfort me, to give me space. I knew it hurt him and it hurt but I needed to cry it out without upsetting him more.

After the tears dried I forced myself up and put on the kettle. When it was ready I made a cup of tea and sat at the table. Before I could take a sip there was a bang on the door.

I sighed and got up to see who was here.

"Leah?"

"Alia called my mother after you and Sam left. Are you alright?" she asked pulling me into a hug. I nodded but the tears started again.

"She hates me."

"Shh," Leah soothed me, "She doesn't hate you. She doesn't even know you." Leah stepped back and pushed me out of the doorframe and into the house. Closing the door behind us. "I called Sam on the way here, he didn't pick up so I called Jake, he's going to phase and check on him. Were you making tea?"

I nodded, "Want some?"

"No but the warmth will help you, come on lets go get it." She said ushering me into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry Bella. I really didn't even think about the possibility Alia might think like that about Sam and I. We have been over for so long now, though I suppose since we are always around each other with the pack and all and I went over a few times to see her that she thought, but she's wrong Bella. You know that. Even if he didn't imprint on you Sam and I would not be getting back together."

"She said you were engaged to Sam. That you belong together."

Leah hesitated, "Sam and I were together for a couple of years Bella, we did talk about marriage and our future but you belong with Sam not me, you are his imprint, his soul mate."

"He wanted to marry you though, would have if it weren't for all this wolf stuff."

"Yes, he and I thought we would marry but Bella we were 18, he was my first everything, our families were close, of course we talked about getting married."

"Alia said it was more than talk, that he proposed."

"After graduation Sam and I were in his backyard, his mothers yard and he said we could get married now school was over, if I'd have him. I told him of course I would." She sighed and sat across from me at the table before continuing. "A few minutes later he was in the front arguing with one of the guys, they even started fighting, not a Sam thing to do. I went home. The next day I couldn't get a hold of Sam. He had disappeared. A few weeks later he came back but wouldn't talk to me. I cried and begged him to tell me what was wrong but he said nothing. A week after that our breakup was official. It was over a year later that I learned why."

"I'm sorry Leah."

"I loved him Bella. You know that and yes he loved me to but that was a long time ago. All this wolf stuff did happen and we cannot know what would have been if it hadn't. Maybe we would have married, maybe broken up. We were both going to go to college. Sam would have eventually met you and even without the neon imprint signs he'd have eventually fallen in love with you. Imagine how hard that would have been if we had gotten married way back then? No, its useless to think about what could have been Bella, this is what is, Sam is a wolf and you his imprint, you are soul mates and you belong together. What ever the tribe says just hold on to that. The pack is his family, we are your family, and we will all stand with you against whoever opposes the marriage, so will the council."

I stared down at my mug of tea, "Can you take me to Paul's Leah, I don't think I should drive."

She smiled at me, "Of course Bella, you should be with family, learn to lean on us when things are hard." She reached out and touched my hand, "Why don't you pack a bag? I'll call Emily and tell her we're coming. We can have a slumber party."

I forced a watery smile, "Thanks Leah."

She nodded, "Go on and get your shit then." She said standing up and picking up my house phone.

When I came back down with an overnight bag Leah was already waiting at the door.

We listened to music on the way back to La Push. I felt my body relax as soon as we passed the sign, this was home, where I belonged, with Sam. Leah was right; no one else's opinion mattered.

Paul came out of the house as Leah and I pulled up, "Emily said you were coming, everything ok?"

"Alia had a little Leah cheerleading party tonight when Sam brought Bella to meet her, went off about them getting married." Leah told him. "I didn't like the idea of her being alone and wallowing so I went by let her know the pack wanted her. She asked to come here. Figured it was a good idea. She needs family with her."

"You alright Bells?" He asked stepping closer to us. He looked from me to Leah, "Give us a minute Leah?"

"Yeah sure." She took my bag and went inside as Paul came over and pulled me into a hug. I started to cry again.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I'm glad you came here." He told me, pulling back to look into my eyes, "We, the pack I mean, we love you Bella. You're our sister. Whoever says anything against you will have to deal with me, I wont let them mess with my little sister."

"She's his mother."

"She'll come around."

"Yeah, the day the magic Quileute fairy makes me Leah."

"Hah," Paul laughed loudly, "that would be on scary assed day little sister."

"I can't wreck his relationship with his mother Paul."

"She is pushing him away Bella. You have done nothing wrong. I told you, just love him and let him love you that is all you need to do, all you need to worry about."

"But she's his mother."

"So?" he asked, "You are his imprint, and his mother she should be happy for him, ecstatic he has found the love of his life. Charlie was happy for you, wasn't he?"

"That's because he knows about the wolves."

"What about your mom? Have you told her?"

"She's excited."

"See. And she doesn't know about the wolves. She just wants you to be happy. Alia will realize that's all that matters too."

"Yeah, right." I snorted.

Paul laughed again, "Come on Bells, do you think Emily's parents liked me? Fight or fuck Meraz. Hell, I'm lucky her father didn't take a shotgun to me, now we fish together whenever Em and I head out to the Makah res and her mother makes me the muffins I love every time. They saw how much I loved her and respected her, they saw how happy we made each other and they learned to accept it. And Kim's mother hates Jared; she thinks he is a res bum not nearly good enough for her daughter who ought to be out living in Seattle or New York with some wealthy pale face, never mind that Jared had a scholar. Her father only likes him because he's a purist and Jared has good blood lines and whatever the elders say he toes the line to."

"Yeah, Kim told me her mother didn't like him."

"Tough shit really. They'll learn to accept."

"What if she doesn't?"

"Then Sam will maintain a distant relationship with her, you will never have to see her and she will miss out on most of her grandkids lives. That will be her choice Bella. There is nothing that you can do but support Sam."

"Do Jared's parents like Kim?"

"They adore her, but someone had to have it easier and besides it was easy for them to see how much she loved him. Just like your dad sees how much Sam loves you and your mother will too. Just don't think about Alia, let Sam deal with it and you just think about Sam and the wedding."

"What about the rest of the tribe? She wont be the only one who thinks like I shouldn't be with Sam."

"Maybe not but you let the pack and the council worry about them ok, we'll take care of it."

I sighed wiping the remnants of my tears away, "Ok."

"Feel better?"

I nodded, "Thanks Paul."

"Sure, sure, little sister." He hugged me again.

"I guess we should go inside."

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"You have to stop running from Sam when you are upset."

"I didn't." I told him, "Sam drove me home."

"Bella." He said his voice stern.

"Ok so maybe I went to hide a little bit, but I wasn't running from him Paul."

"It hurts him."

"It would just hurt him more to see me fall apart, I needed time to breath, to get my emotions under control."

"Bells," he sighed, "it hurts me when Emily is hurting yes, but it hurts more when she shuts me out, when she doesn't let me even be there for her. You have to let him in. Let him love you Bella. Not just when things are good but when they are bad too."

I sighed, "I didn't mean to shut him out."

"I know. Just try to remember it's not like a normal relationship with him Bells. You can't always react the way you might with a normal guy. Shutting him out hurts him. Yell, scream, cry, whatever you need but shutting us out, its rejecting us, maybe not fully but it still hurts."

"I will, I'm sorry."

"Come on, Emily figured you didn't eat much so has made up some snacks to have with a movie." We started walking to the house.

I grinned at him, "Love your imprint."

"Yeah, me to." He laughed.

"Hey Bells?" he stopped so I turned to face him.

"Yeah?"

"Why come here?"

"Sorry?"

"Why did you ask Leah to come here?"

I blushed and shrugged, "You always seem to be there when things in this world are overwhelming, and you make me feel better. I realized when Leah came I didn't need to be alone to wallow, I needed family and that's her and you." Paul pulled me into a hug.

"I'm glad. You can always come here little sister."

"Thanks Paul." I whispered hugging him back.

"I love you, you know."

"I love you to big brother." We let go after a moment and walked into the house.

Emily smiled over at me, "Go change into your pj's and we'll start the movie, we have caramel bailey's hot chocolate, popcorn and fresh cookies."

I grinned back at her, she was already wearing pajama bottoms with hearts all over them and a matching t-shirt with a big heart in the middle. "I'll just be a minute."

"I put your bag in the spare room you slept in before." Leah said munching on a cookie and wearing yellow and orange plaid pajama bottoms and a yellow tank.

I hurried to my room and pulled on my purple sleep pants and tied the ribbon at the waist, then pulled on the matching tank and hurried back down to the living room.

Emily handed me a mug of spiked cocoa and a plate with three still warm cookies on it. I thanked her and went to the little couch. Leah curled up in the oversized chair and Emily lay out on the couch leaning on Paul.

"I love slumber parties!" Kim gushed coming in the door already in her blue plaid pajama bottoms and matching t-shirt, Jared coming in laughing behind her.

We all settled down and started the movie, Leah had picked Monster-in-law. Go figure. We all laughed our way through it. When it was over the house was packed as various wolves had shown up during the movie.

The next one was guys choice, they picked Wedding Crashers. It was only a little way in and we were all laughing when the door opened and Jake and Sam came in.

I held my hand out to him and he came over and picked me up, hugging me securely to him and sitting back down. I kissed his jaw and got comfortable. Paul was right, no more freaking out, whatever came along Sam and I could handle it, we'd face it together.


	21. Chapter 21

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can. **

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! They not only help me with the story they make me itch to write more so you'll get chapters faster. I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

**Sorry for the wait school is crazy right now, I will do my best to keep updating a couple times a week though. **

The next few days went surprisingly smoothly. The engagement got around and most people were whispering about pregnancy but I refused to let it bother me. Sam and I were happy and that was all I cared about. Dad and I had our father daughter date on Sunday and he had shown up with boxes for me the next day.

Angela who had excitedly hugged me and congratulated me when I told her I was getting married came over to help me pack. We blasted the music and danced around my room. It didn't take long. I wasn't taking much, mostly just clothes and pictures and things.

Jake came and got the boxes and brought them over to Sam's so Angela helped me bake him cookies as a thank you.

That evening I had stood in Sam's house and my mind had repeated over and over _I live here now. I live with Sam. This is our house._ I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself. Sam came in ten minutes later and I was still standing in the middle of the living room just looking around me.

He had laughed and pulled me into his arms to kiss me whispering welcome home in my ear.

I kissed him back and told him about the superstition Emily had told me about; apparently it was good luck to 'christen' every room in the house when first moving in together. So we did. Twice.

I was amazed how easy it was to adjust to living with Sam; the best part of my day was the moments before we fell asleep at night lying in each other's arms. Emily and Kim had bought me a high tech ice air fan for the bedroom as a moving gift. I laughed but it was the best thing they could have gotten me. I slept with a tiny sheet with the fan blasting right on me, wrapped in the heat of my mate, I fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

Now it was finally Thursday and Rylan was coming. I couldn't wait. I woke up early which had Sam grumbling and trying to pull me back onto the bed. I let him help me burn off some of my morning energy before jumping in the shower. Then I went into the kitchen and started making breakfast, I knew Kim and Emily fed them before they left but whenever Jared and Paul arrived to go to work with Sam I had a snack ready for them to eat. So I mixed up a batch of muffins and put them in the oven before making Sam his omelets.

I was way too excited to eat though so I just had coffee and picked at a muffin _as if I needed the caffeine,_ after breakfast Sam cleaned the kitchen. The boys came in calling good morning and going straight for the muffins, you'd think their imprints hadn't stuffed them before they left their houses. Sam would kiss me goodbye and off they went. Normally I'd take a second mug of coffee and sit on the porch but today I hurried to the diner.

Thankfully Leah was working with Sue when I got there.

"Morning Bella. Can I get you anything?"

"Morning, I ate already, thanks Sue, just a cup of coffee while I wait for Rylan." I answered practically bouncing.

"No more caffeine for you sister." Leah laughed, "You're practically vibrating already. And did you really eat or just pick?"

I laughed at her, "fine no more coffee, how about a glass of juice? And I ate most of a muffin. Rylan and I will have a good lunch, I promise."

"Here you are dear." Sue said setting my juice down on the counter. I went to sit in the stool.

"What time does he get in?"

"He flew into Seattle last night and his flight should have landed in Port Angeles half an hour ago so she should be here soon."

"He's staying with you and Sam?" Sue asked coming over to chat with Leah and I.

"Yeah, Sam says as long as I am sure he is still gay he can stay with us." I laughed, "I think he might still be a little jealous."

Leah and Sue laughed with me. We chatted a little, Leah sitting down while Sue came and went serving the few customers around, I jumped every time the bell rang over the door.

Finally he arrived.

The bell rang and I turned to look. When I saw it was Ry I jumped up and flew into his arms. Rylan swung us around and set me back on my feet before kissing my forehead.

Stepping back immediately he held out his right hand, "Alright let me see it, where's the ring?" I lifted my left hand into his and he yanked it up to see better, "Well ain't that pretty, suits you perfect." He laughed, "And the man that goes with it?"

"Working. You get to meet him at dinner." I told him pulling him to the bar, "This is Leah Clearwater."

"Ah, yes, the ex, if I am not mistaken." Ry laughed and turned to Leah who was scowling a little until she saw the playful smile on his face, "A pleasure to meet you Leah. Isa tells me you've become very close. Just remember I loved her first and we wont have any problems." He laughed again.

"Yeah whatever, sister outranks gay best friend." She shot back, playful.

Rylan put a hand on his heart in mock hurt, "I am SO much more than that darling."

"Ok, I love both of you." I laughed at them, turning to Sue who had wandered over to meet him, "Ry, this is Sue, Leah's mom."

"A pleasure to meet you." Rylan mock bowed to her.

Sue laughed at him, "You to Rylan. Can I get you anything to eat?"

"I would kiss a cat for a cup of black coffee." Rylan told her sitting down.

"Rylan hates cats so that's a pretty serious need," I told her laughing.

"Cats hate me Bella. I think I was a dog in a former life or something. Vicious little beasts are always hissing at me."

Leah and I cracked up at this and Sue walked away giggling to get him a large coffee to go.

"I better start working, if the owner weren't my mother I'd be fired sitting here so long. It was nice to meet you Rylan. See you later Bella." Leah got up and grabbed a pad to go take some orders as Sue came over with Rylan's coffee.

"You two have a nice day, it was nice to meet you Rylan, we'll see you two at the bonfire tomorrow night."

"Thanks. How much for the coffee?"

"On the house, this morning. You two go and have fun."

"Thanks Sue."

"Thank-you." Rylan grinned widely at her. I followed him outside, "Everyone that nice here?"

"No." My smile fell.

"Still no luck with mama-in-law huh?"

"Haven't seen her since the disaster of a dinner last week, but she isn't the only one less than pleased by the engagement. Most of them think I got knocked up and tricked him into proposing."

"What is this the 50s, people have kids without getting married all the time."

"I know" I laughed, "they all keep glaring at me like I stole his innocence or something."

Rylan cracked up with me. I got in my truck and Rylan followed me in his rental car out to La Push.

We parked and Ry got out, "Damn its like a story down here with the long drive and the to perfect cottage. Thought you said there was a beach though?"

"Its through those trees in the back. I'll take you down later. I want the ceremony down there."

I showed him around the house and helped him unpack, "Damn boyfriend, you moving in?" I joked as I looked at all the clothes he brought.

"You want to plan your wedding in two and a half months? I will be here a lot. Lucky I'll only have to drive down from Seattle."

I squealed, "You mean it! You're moving to Seattle?"

Rylan laughed, "Moved darling, I've moved to Seattle. It's why it took me almost a week to get down here. Lucky that sexy native boy Jack helped me find a nice place."

"You've been talking to Jack?"

"Yes well it seems he's decided against the move with Mark."

I squealed again, "Are you seeing him? When did all this happen? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I've been talking to him since the last time I was here but we are just friends. He's straight out of a long term relationship and I have no desire to play rebound so we are just friends for now and I didn't tell you because it isn't anything yet."

I bounced on the bed, "This is so perfect."

"Yes well at least you met my maybe love interest, tell me more about Sam!"

I blushed, "he's wonderful Ry. I love him so much. Just seeing him makes me feel relaxed and happy and content. He is really smart and funny. He works hard and he has a lot of responsibility but he's not uptight at all. And he's gorgeous, I drool every time I see him."

"I remember seeing him on the beach. Even as rough as he looked he was hot as hell. Come to think of it all those boys we came across were."

"Yeah, they are all pretty drool worthy but Sam takes the cake." I laughed.

"Yeah and does all that sexyness translate to good sex?" I blushed, "That's a yes. Details Isa, I need details!"

"It's phenomenal Ry. He's got more stamina than the energizer bunny on Viagra" I laughed "and I have become insatiable, I can't help it, it's like I'm addicted to him or something, I see him and I want him."

Rylan laughed, "Damn girl, it's that good?"

"I never thought it was possible to orgasm that much."

Rylan pretended to fan himself, "Hmmm, I hope it's a native thing, I might let Jack rebound on me after all."

I laughed, "Wait till he rebounds, if he's as good as Sam you wont want it to be short term."

Ry laughed to.

"I never asked what your mother said? We just went straight into talking about Mother-Cheer-Leah-Clearwater."

I shrugged, "You know Renee. She asked if I was sure, if he had a job because that was important, if I was pregnant, and if the sex was good because you can't marry a man if the sex sucks."

Rylan burst out laughing again and it took us a few minutes to stop, "Oh god, what did she say?" he asked trying to catch his breath.

"She said sex was important in a relationship and that it might slow down after we are married so I should keep things fresh with sexy underwear and roll play."

"Oh god, tell me she didn't" we were both gripping our stomachs with laughter.

"Apparently Phil has a penchant for slutty school girl baseball fans and my mother likes his uniform. I stopped her before she could tell me more."

Rylan made a face and we both cracked up again. It was a little while before we were able to stop.

"Alright, lets eat I'm starving."

Together we made grilled chicken wraps. Sang to the radio and chatted about nothing.

"Okay, so let's get serious for a bit here. We have only a very short time to do a lot of work." Rylan said putting his plate in the sink.

"Not so much really. It's going to be a small, casual wedding."

"Doesn't mean it can't be fabulous." Rylan laughed.

"Come on and I will show you the beach." I set my plate in the sink with his and dragged him out the back door.

He let out a low whistle when we reached the private beach. "It's a beautiful spot Isa."

"I though we could do ribbons or something on the trees leading down to the beach. Sam and I could stand here, close to the water and all the guests can stand on the beach behind us, it's sloped so they should all be able to see.

"Bridesmaids and groomsmen?"

"A man of honor if you'll do it?"

Rylan's head shot around to me, "Really, you want me to be your man-maid of honor?"

"Who else?" I asked innocently.

Rylan pulled me into a big hug. "I'd be honored Isa." I hugged him back, tightly.

"Ok so I'll stand with you, who's on his?"

"Jared and Paul, if they say yes and Leah as bridesmaid if she does."

Rylan laughed, "Only you would have his ex standing with you Isa."

"She's been wonderful to me."

"I know, it's just funny when you think about it."

"Yeah I suppose it is."

"And how many guests? We have to get the invitations done right away."

"Um, let's see." We sat down on the sand looking out over the water, "Charlie, Renee, Phil, Mrs. Uley, though I doubt she'll come, Billy, Sue, Old Quil, Anne, Jake, Quil, Embry, Seth, Collin, Brady, Emily, Kim, Angela,Sam has an aunt and her boyfriend and the wedding party of course is 25 bride and groom included, 26 or 27 if you and Angela bring dates."

"The others wont bring partners?"

"They either don't have them or they are already on the list."

Ok so lets plan for 28 just in case. We'll need a justice of the peace and a photographer, a caterer, a cake…"

"Anne is going to do the cake, it's her wedding gift."

"Ok, where do you want the reception?"

"The cliffs, we are going to have a big bonfire."

"Dancing?"

"I didn't think about it. Probably not, there are not many of us, just dinner, then again the reception is sort of open to anyone who wants to show up."

"How about we do tables with Champaign and canapés at the cliffs, we'll have a big table of food and have some music and a first dance of the married couple and the bouquet toss, toasts and cake, elegance mixed with casual. Here for the ceremony we will go a little more elegant, an arch just there where you and Sam will be, we can have tiki lamps but instead of candles they'll have bouquets on the top and the posts will be wrapped in white gauze like the arch, that will be your aisle and the guests can stand on either side."

I grinned widely, "It sounds perfect Ry, just what I was hoping for, I knew I could count on you."

"You're my girl Isa, I know what you like." Rylan wrapped an arm around my shoulder and hugged me to him.

"Tomorrow we'll pick out the invitations, and talk flowers, and menu."

"We can go into Port Angeles for that, if only to get ideas."

"What about a dress? I assume Renee wants to be there for that? It will need to be ordered asap Isa, these things can take six months, I'll make it happen, which ever dress you choose but we need to pick one soon."

"I'll call Renee and ask her to come down, we can go to Seattle for a day or two."

"Do you have something in mind at least?"

"Something simple and elegant, clean lines. No veil I don't think."

"We could do a low side up do, sort of 27 Dresses only a little looser, with a few curls coming out."

"Perfect."

"What about Sam, what does he want?"

"I got him to admit he didn't want to elope or have a big production. Other than that as long as it happens sooner than later and I'm happy he won't say."

"What do you want him to wear?"

"Something casual, no suit or anything it just wouldn't be Sam."

"Think he's go for dress slacks and a button down shirt?"

"Shoeless with the top two buttons undone, perfect beach wedding style." I nodded approval.

"Groomsmen and I will be in similar attire, and Leah in a dress, what colors were you thinking?"

"At first I wanted red for the autumn but now I want neutral tones, lots of white and cream."

"With the flowers that's easy, the men can wear Khaki pants with white shirts and you'll be in a white dress, but you don't want Leah in cream."

"Maybe a soft pink, you know like those white flowers that have just that touch of pink in them. I have a dress I bought in the color for Prom, I'll show you, or maybe pink would be to girly, green would look nice with her skin tone. I don't know, maybe we should all just go in jeans."

"Not a chance Isa, wait you went to prom?"

"No." I laughed but I got it when I went shopping with the girls anyways.

"It will be good for the rehearsal dinner or engagement party anyways."

"We didn't plan an engagement party."

"Right, do you want one?"

"No need, the wedding is only a couple months away, we should focus on planning that. I don't need two parties anyways."

"Well you will have a rehearsal dinner so you can wear it then."

"Alright." I grinned at him.

"Want to come help me make dinner for Sam?"

"Awe my little Isa, Susie Homemaker."

"Bite me bitch." We both laughed as we stood up and headed back to the house.

Rylan turned on the radio and we sang and chatted as we cooked.


	22. Chapter 22

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can. **

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

**I am SO SORRY for the long wait, school has been kicking my ass. Term is almost over and I still have a ton to do but it is getting more manageable so should be able to get back to writing regularly.**

**Here is a little update from Sam's mind…**

She said yes. I still could not believe my imprint had agreed to marry me and to letting me mark her. The beginning was so rocky I thought for sure it would take a while to get her ok with everything but as soon as she knew about the wolves and what was going on she took it all in stride. She never flinched when I told her what I had done to that fucker who hurt her. I still wanted to kill him, if he ever came within ten miles of her or the reservation I would tear him apart. Hell maybe I'd just let Paul take his turn. I knew the rage still coursed through him when he thought of Bella, the images were now always mixed with his own dark past, feeding his rage, he had always been the best fighter, now he was better.

I still couldn't believe he had opted to stay behind and watch over the imprints. I knew he had connected to Bella but I hadn't realized how much.

"_Jared, have Kim call Rylan, I want that fuckers name! He is going to die!" I growled half insane with the images still running though my mind after listening to Bella tell her tale in Leah's mind._

"_I'm coming with you." Leah growled, "No one fucks with my pack or my sister!"_

_I was a little shocked, I hadn't realized she and Bella had bonded so closely, then again, Bella had told Leah, we were all surprised by that one._

"_So am I, I'll watch that fucker pay!" Jake snapped. This one didn't surprise any of us. He had loved Bella since they were kids._

"_Embry, Quil, Collin and Brady you four will stay here and protect the tribe. Watch over the imprints."_

"_I'll watch over them." Paul growled._

_I looked over at him, his mind was still spinning with thoughts of his own painful past and the images we had all conjured up about Bella. I was sure he was as out for blood as the rest of us._

"_Paul, stay, the rest of you phase. Jake, Leah tell Billy and Sue, that fucker will be facing pack law. The rest of you organize patrol between you until we get back."_

_I waited until their minds left us._

"_She shouldn't be alone. Not now." Paul growled, "She'll think you left her."_

"_Never." I growled menacingly at him._

"_I know. I'll let keep her safe Sam." I saw images of her in his mind; one image stood out in his mind the most. It was my Bella and him sitting on the cliffs._

"_You love her." _

"_Not like that. I don't know Sam. I feel connected to her, more than the other imprints. From the first I saw the pain in her eyes and it made me want to pull her close and protect her. That day on the cliff she let me into her soul. I promised I would keep her safe and I will, I need to be there for her more than I need his head, I know you will get vengeance for her, that you will make him suffer."_

"_I know Paul. The love you have, its like Seth and Leah. Like you imprinted a sister or something."_

"_I don't know man, I just know I feel connected to her, like I'll do anything to protect her."_

"_We'll have to talk to Billy about it, see if it could be something like imprinting or it could just be a normal connection, love through mutual suffering or some shit."_

"_She's only next to Emily Sam, I'd defend her from the pack." He admitted, and I knew he would. It was more than just liking her; it was more even than Jake's love for her. Paul was truly connected to her. Neither of us understood it but it didn't matter. He loved her like a brother; he would take care of her if I couldn't. Whatever it was, I was grateful._

_I wondered if we should tell Bella._

"_We don't know what it is Sam. Like you said, it's just a very strong familial bond. As long as she is with you and I know she is happy I am fine."_

"_But you feel her pain?"_

"_I don't know. I don't know why I went to the cliffs that day; I just felt a pull there. Not like with Em, it doesn't hurt exactly, it makes me sad though, or angry, like now. I, I don't think I can change back yet."_

_I sighed, "I promise you I will get that fucker, I will hunt him to the ends of the earth, you just keep her safe and remind her I love her. We will deal with this sister imprint or whatever it is later."_

_I could see his mind flashing to her and Leah talking._

"_We'll have to ask Leah but I don't think it is the same for her. She feels the connection through the imprint and maybe they will become good friends but I don't think she has the same bond you do."_

"_We'll leave it for now. She's got enough to deal with."_

"_I agree." We felt the others phase back in, "You are in charge, make sure the others are running patrol, you stay with the imprints." Sam turned back to Alpha role, as we both stopped thinking of Bella and my odd connection, focusing again on her past, on her pain, on the fucker about to die, slowly and painfully._

"_Jared?"_

"_David, his name is David Carson." Jared growled. We all did. "He lives in Scottsdale; some mansion boardering the desert."_

_We began running through the woods. Paul, Quil, Embry, Collin and Brady stopped at the boarder, Collin and Brady separating off to run the perimeter. Paul, Quil and Embry stood there growling as we ran into the night._

I still had to talk to Billy about that. Paul and Bella had grown closer the day I was gone, I could see through the pack mind that the bond had solidified, I could see his memory of her calling herself family and how something had snapped into place in him. The anger that Emily had calmed was soothed, he laughed more and his control was almost as good as mine and Jared's now but for when he needed it, when he fought, all the rage would surface, yet it was controlled now, he was lethal.

I had been to focused on my mate to worry much about it. My place with her was not threatened, his tie to Emily was as strong if not stronger than before, and mine to Bella grew stronger everyday. My wolf fought to mark her every time we were together, I could no longer take her from behind for fear I would not be able to resist.

The dinner with my mother had been a disaster; I could not believe she had made my Bella cry. I had never been so angry with my mother. If it were not for Bella's calming touches I would have phased.

It hurt when she asked me to take her to Charlie's but I could not deny her. Everything inside of me wanted to take her home and hold her in my arms but she wanted to be alone, she didn't want me. Logically I knew she was not rejecting me but the pain in my chest would not accept it.

I felt her pain as she went into the house and fought the dual urges to go to her and to phase. Finally the shaking lessened enough for me to start the truck. I made it home before the ache started to tear at me and the shaking got to bad. I got out and didn't bother undressing, I just changed, I heard the ding of metal as I phased to near my truck, I would have to get Jake to fix that.

I ran into the woods and a few minutes later I felt Jake join me.

"Leah called, your mother called hers." I growled low. "Leah went to check on Bella, asked me to see if you were alright." I whimpered. "Bells will be fine Sam, Leah said she really wanted your mom to like her. She'll get over it though. Just give her an hour to cry it out. She likely just doesn't want to upset you more by being upset in front of you."

"Still hurts though, her not wanting me."

Jake sighed, "She'll be fine man. She wants you. Its just Bella, she's so fucking selfless sometimes she wants to hold all the pain to herself so you don't feel it. I don't think she fully understands yet that in the room or not you feel it. Give her a little time."

We ran along the boarder in silence until Paul phased in, "Leah called, Bella asked her to bring her to mine. Emily is planning a movie and slumber party."

"She wants space." I told him sadly.

"She doesn't want you to see her hurting, and she sure as shit wont want to be the cause of contention between you and Alia."

"Yeah, that is so Bella." Jake snorted.

"Let me talk to her, the girls will get her feeling a bit better, no doubt she will be waiting for you to come to her."

"Get me if she needs me." I already felt better knowing she'd be with Paul. He'd take care of her, make sure she wasn't hurting and when she wanted me, I would go to her.

"Sure, sure. I hear Leah's car, see you in a bit." Paul phased back leaving Jake and I.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Why would she ask to see Paul? Why not you or me?"

"She doesn't want me right now remember and Leah told her you were with me no doubt."

"Bullshit Sam." Hah, as if I could keep something like this from him while we were talking about it, fucker could see in my head. "The ache got better when he said she was going to him."

"It's still there." I assured him.

"But not as bad. Why?"

I sighed, "I don't know Jake." I ran through my conversation with Paul for him.

"FUCK, you mean to say PAUL imprinted on MY Bella too!"

I growled at him.

"Your Bella, Sam, I know she is your Bella. And I think I took the you imprinting on her instead of me thing ok but Paul already has an imprint and if there is some weird brother imprint going on it should be with me NOT HIM!" Jake growled the last.

"It's not like it was a choice for him Jake, he just felt a mild pull to her in the beginning and the more time they were together the stronger it got."

"So that's why he's been calmer, I thought it was just the imprint with Emily settling after the marking."

"Little late for that Jake, they marked before Bella got here."

"I know, but this. Have you talked to Billy?"

"Not yet."

"Well, let's go then."

We ran to his house and phased back.

"Hello boys." Billy and Charlie looked up as we came in.

"Hey Billy, Chief." I nodded at them.

"I'm gonna be your father soon son, at least call me Charlie." I felt a swell of pride and acceptance fill me when Charlie called himself my father, my own father never wanted me, that Charlie did mattered to me more than I thought, I knew he accepted me marrying Bella because of the imprint but accepting me as a son? That was all new.

"Sam? You alright man?" Jake asked looking at me funny. I realized I had just stood there staring for a full minute.

"Uh, yeah, thanks Charlie." I said my voice a little gruff.

"I thought you had dinner with your mother tonight?" Billy asked, smiling a little, I think he understood my weak moment.

"Yeah, I figured Bells wouldn't be home tonight." Charlie added.

"Oh, um," I hesitated, "She's with the others at Paul's." I shifted from one foot to another.

"What happened?" Charlie sat up looking concerned and a little angry.

"My mother didn't take the news so well."

"Ah well, she'll get over it, just so fast for those on the outside is all." Billy assured me.

"Yeah, you guys got it easy with Renee, she's a bit of a romantic free spirit. I'm sure your mother will come around. Bells alright?"

"Yeah, just upset, wanted to be alone for a bit. Apparently Alia called Sue and Leah headed over to check on her right after I dropped her off and they went to Paul's."

"That's why we are here." Jake interjected ready to get to the point, "Bella and Paul."

"What about Bella and Paul?" Billy asked looking at his son.

"We think Paul imprinted on Bella." Jake blurted.

They both sat there looking at me with their mouths hanging open.

"What! Is that possible? No, my baby girl is not going around with two wolves! How could you allow this Sam!" Charlie's face was a little red as he spoke.

"There must be a mistake, Paul imprinted on Emily and you on Bella, he wouldn't have imprinted on her to." Billy said calmly, laying a hand on his friends arm.

"I don't know." I sighed and sat on the couch. "It's like he did and he didn't. Emily is still his imprint, it's like their bond is even stronger now actually. But something happened when he looked at Bella, like the shadow of an imprint or something, not as strong, but just as binding."

"What do you mean Sam?" Billy asked, still calm but you could see the curiosity in his eyes.

"It's like a brother imprint or something." Jake added from where he leaned against the wall.

"Sam?" Charlie asked turning to me again.

"That's it exactly. At first it was this little pull that he ignored, but it led him to the cliffs where Bella was thinking before she came back to me. They talked and the bond grew stronger. She is second for him only to Emily," I turned and looked into Billy's eyes, "He'd defend her from the pack. We are below her as the pack is below all imprints, the rest of the world below that."

"I have never heard of such a thing." Billy told us, "I will have to talk to Quil Senior, he may know more than I or Old Teala the wise woman. How do you react to this, instinctually?"

"Her being with him now soothes the ache of not being with her myself. There is still the pain that she sent me away but I feel somewhat better that she is with him, I know she is safe and cared for. I know that she is with the rest of the pack as well but the wolf is relieved when it is Paul."

"So he accepts this possible brother imprint as you call it?"

"Yes."

"I will look into it."

I nodded at him, "Thank you Billy."

"Take care of my daughter Sam. She is stubborn and will not want you to see her in pain, she will hide if you let her."

"I cannot stay if she wishes me away." I told him sadly.

"She doesn't. She wants you with her but she will want not to hurt you more. Don't let her hurt more by staying away from her when she hurts, even if she does ask."

I nodded, "Jake and I will run the lines before we call it a night and I will go get her."

He nodded. "I'll pick up boxes on Monday. She'll be home with you soon enough."

"Thank you Charlie."

"You are a good man, son. You'll take care of her and if this brother imprint thing is real I know Paul will too." Again the word son breathed warmth into my soul, I felt accepted and had the urge to be better, to make him proud.

"We all will Charlie." Jake added, standing taller. I knew he was still upset that Paul now had this connection to her that he did not.

"I know that Jake. I hope you imprint soon. I'd like to see you happy. You know I always thought of you as a nephew."

"Thank you." He nodded.

"Best not to tell anyone until we get this figured out boys." Billy told us and we both nodded at him before leaving.

As we ran the lines Jake's mind flew to Bella and I felt his pain. When he thought of Paul he grew angry. It was harder for him now than when I imprinted on her. It was bad enough I got the girl, but he knew his soul mate was out there. Now though Paul shared a bond with the woman he loved that he never could.

We ran the lines and went to Paul and Emily's. Jake glared at Paul and sat on the floor. My Bella held her hand out to me and I went over to pull her into my arms, where she belonged. I saw from the corner of my eye, Paul's grip on his own imprint tighten and his face lift in a small smile as he watched us.

Seeing my Bella and I together and happy eased his soul. I hoped Billy found something but even if he didn't it wasn't important. My Bella was special and I was glad she now had a brother in Paul.

The next few days were peaceful, though I hated how little I saw of her. I hated that she would leave to go back to Charlie at night and I had to work all day. Finally Monday came and as he'd said Charlie brought home boxes. Bella called to say she'd move in while I was at work the next day so not to expect her in the morning. It was a long night, even longer than the others she spent away from me but I knew it was the last. After tonight she'd be home, for good.

I hurried home from work and found her standing in the living room looking around. I laughed so damn happy to see her there and pulled her into my arms, "Welcome home baby-girl." I whispered before kissing her deeply. God she tasted good.

When we finally pulled apart she looked at me with a sexy impish smile and a light blush, "So Kim told me something today."

"What's that baby-girl?"

"She told me that it was good-luck for all couples to sleep together when they first move in together."

I decided to tease her and laughed "I hadn't really planned on not sleeping with you baby-girl, now that you live with me I don't plan on not sleeping with you ever."

"I mean sex Sam." She said blushing deeper.

I laughed low again, pulling her into a kiss, "Yes, well I plan on lot's of that to."

She blushed again, god she was so sexy, "Yes well that's good because we can use the luck."

"Does that mean I can take you to bed now?" I asked kissing her jaw.

"No." I stilled and pulled back to look her in the eyes confused, "We have to do it in every room Sam. Might as well start here." Her voice had gone lower as her hands slipped to the front of my shorts.

I growled low and long, my half hard cock instantly straining painfully against my jeans. As the scent of her arousal hit my nose I growled again and tore off her clothes. I dropped to my knees and began lapping at the moisture glistening on her lower lips, purring into her clit.

"Sam please" she panted. I stood up and tore off my own clothes before pulling her back to me but she pushed me back into the couch and straddled me. God I loved this woman.

All coherent thought left me with that as she sank onto me and began riding me. I bent my head and pulled her nipple into my mouth, I hadn't been inside of her since before my mothers. I know it was only a few days, five to be precise, but it felt like forever.

As soon as I felt her clench above me I let go and came with her. She looked at me with a satisfied smirk, "Well it's a start."

I growled at her and she kissed me deeply. Damn I wanted her again but she slipped off my lap and walked to the kitchen, "How about something easy for dinner? I don't feel like cooking. I could also use a shower after packing and unpacking today."

I got up and went into the kitchen pulling her away from the fridge and into my arms, ok so there was something better than Bella all mussed from my bed wearing nothing but my t-shirt standing in my kitchen and that was Bella naked in my kitchen all mussed from sex.

"We'll order in." I told her kissing her. Her nipples were peaked from the cold of the fridge and she moaned as my hot tongue laved over them. I pulled her into my arms and sank to the floor with her, I began to nip and lick over her body until she was panting and begging. I slipped a finger into her tight passage, her arousal was dripping down her thighs, "Please, Sam, please." She begged trying to move against my hand, her nails digging into the skin at my shoulders.

"Please what Isabella?"

"Take me, please, Sam, please, fuck me." She blushed a little still panting and squirming.

I pulled my hand away from her hot core, and she whimpered. I laid her back on the cool wood and met her glazed eyes with mine before sinking slowly into her.

She bucked her hips against me but I pulled back, "Sam." She pleaded. I moved my hands to her hips to keep her still and tortured us both as I sank in a few centimeters and back out again, going in only a little further each time.

She was near tears as I pulled out yet again, her body aching and straining, on the verge of release but unable to reach it.

I groaned my control beginning to snap as I sank into her again, this time in one swift movement, seating myself fully, four long hard strokes and she was screaming my name and convulsing around me. I began to pound into her, pushing her orgasm to last. When I was ready to explode I reached between us and pinched her clit, hard. She screamed again and as her muscles tightened around me like a vice I drove into her one last time and exploded.

We lay there panting for a while until I could finally make my body move. My legs still felt wobbly from the force of my orgasm as I lift her to her feet. She swayed so I lifted her onto the counter and stood between her legs as she leaned against my chest.

I picked up the receiver, which was thankfully on the counter next to her, "Pizza?" I asked, my voice still kind of breathy. She still didn't speak just nodded her head against my chest.

I placed the order and hung up, "Forty minutes, want to shower?"

She nodded again and I picked her up and carried her to the bathroom. I turned on the shower and we stepped inside. I set her on her feet and began washing her hair. She sighed happily as my fingers massaged her scalp. I put her under the spray and rinsed it before starting to wash her body, kneeling to wash every inch of her long, lean, wet dream inducing legs.

Immediately when I finished and rinsed her under the shower spray, she reached for my soap and began washing me. I thought I would come in her hand as she moved her little hand along my length and around my balls.

"Bella." I growled at her in warning.

"We haven't had sex in here yet." She told me huskily.

"Actually I am pretty sure I had you over the toilet."

She blushed, but rubbed up against me her little hand still on my cock, "Not since I moved in." She breathed, reaching lower and pulling gently on my balls. I nearly shot it then, instead I spun her around and pushed her chest against the shower wall, sinking into her wet heat from behind.

I knew the position was dangerous, I wanted to mark her so badly, but I knew I couldn't, I would have to stop myself. I also wanted to sink into that lush ass, one of these days I would, but not before I was sure she was comfortable with it and not without preparing her first.

I gripped her hips as I pounding into her, my hips pushing into her ass. I could feel the wolf fighting to mark her and I trailed the fingers of one hand down her spine. I let my fingers move down the crack of her ass, she stilled only for a second as my thumb circled her tight puckered hole. My other hand reached around and drew circles on her clit. I pinched it and she ground her hips back into me at the same moment as my thumb breached her anus. She gasped and then moaned as I moved my finger deeper her pussy clamping tight around me.

I couldn't hold back longer. So I pulled my thumb from her ass and pounded into her twice biting my own lip as I came, forcing my self not to lean forward and sink my teeth into her neck.

I pulled her up and into my arms. She reached over and turned off the taps and we got out. I grabbed two towels and wrapped her in one, hoping she wouldn't be upset and think I had taken things to far. I thought about bringing it up when I heard the bell.

Almost thankful for the escape I pulled shorts over my still wet body. I paid the pizza man as Bella came out in one of my clean t-shirts.

We settled on the couch and ate our pizza, contentedly.

After she finished her second piece she sat back and watched me eat, I was just starting on the second pizza.

"You can do it you know." I looked at her confused. "Take me there I mean." I was still confused as I took a large bite of pizza and lifted a brow at her, "My ass." I choked on the pizza. "I mean, I always sort of wondered anyways, because of Rylan, it must be good."

"Jesus," I swore, "I was worried you might be upset."

"Why?"

"Some girls don't like it."

She frowned at me, "Should I not?"

"No, god I'd love to take you that way but I don't want to push you to do anything you aren't comfortable with Bella."

"Well I told you I am comfortable with the idea. I know you wont hurt me besides I liked the feeling in the shower, it was hot and forbidden." She blushed.

I growled and tossed the pizza aside as I smelled her arousal, pulling her to me and kissing her deeply.

"We already did it in here baby." She told me squirming away. I growled and grabbed for her again but she dancing backwards and pulled off my shirt, "Come and find me." She whispered turning and disappearing down the hall her long wet hair flinging water drops towards me.

A slow grin spread over me as I stood and shucked my shorts before going sniffing after her. I found her in the office, sitting on the desk.

I growled and the scent of her arousal grew stronger. She laughed and beckoned me over with the crook of her finger, "I have been a very bad employee Mr. Uley, you'd better come and discipline me." She purred.

I almost shot my load right there. Damn my woman was hot. And this was only the fourth room I thought as I stalked over to her. We still had the main bathroom, the guest room and our room, and did the yard and porch count as rooms? Hell maybe we could do it all over again after that. And maybe once a week just to make sure we got it right.

I hated to leave her the next morning but I knew I had to. I heard Paul and Jared come in and pulled on jeans leaving my girl to sleep.

"This place reeks of sex." Jared grinned at me.

Paul made a face at me, "if I have to see that shit later I might rip it off" he growled going into the kitchen to rummage for something to eat.

We heard tiny feet padding down the hall and a yawn as Bella appeared. "Morning guys, I'll make coffee and breakfast." She stretched and made her way into the kitchen; I swung her around and pulled her into my arms for a kiss.

Paul made a gagging sound.

"Tell me you didn't do it on this." Jared said from where he had plopped himself on the couch.

"Do you want me to lie to you?" Bella asked sweetly.

Jared shot up, "Gross and I know you did it on the table that time Sam kicked us all out after lunch."

"Well Kim did say we should have sex in every room, I'm not sure if she meant on every surface so better safe than sorry. I think we only forgot one or two things, but we might want to go over a few just in case."

Paul looked sick, "Bella please, I do not need to hear what he does to you and please god do not let him think about that while we are on patrol."

"Don't worry big brother I promise I gave as good as I got."

Paul made a gagging motion as my woman winked at him.

Jared was laughing so hard I thought he might fall over. I couldn't hide my own amusement. I could see in Paul's eyes that all teasing aside something inside of him lit up when she called him that.

"I'll have to tell Kim that every surface thing." Jared mused still laughing.

Bella blushed a little, yeah now she gets shy, even with me she blushed but with Paul she seems at ease teasing him, curious. "Alright enough with my sex life. Sit down so I can feed you."

"Thank you." Paul sat at the table while Bella went about making French Toast. We gobbled down a whole loaf of bread's worth before heading off to work.

I went and kissed my imprint goodbye, "Make yourself at home today baby-girl, move and change whatever you want, let me know what you don't like or want of the furniture ok."

She looked hesitant so I shot her a stern look and she nodded, "Alright Sam."

"Things better look different when I get back." I growled playfully at her, knowing she'd worry about moving or going through things but I wanted her to feel at home, there was nothing here that wasn't hers now to.

She blushed, "Ok, I promise."

When I got home though nothing looked different. When I went to ask her about it she came out of the office and jumped into my arms kissing me soundly.

"I finished organizing the office today. Come and see." She said excitedly, dropping out of my arms and dragging me towards the office.

I let her show me everything, the files were all color-coded, she had a book with all the cards of businesses we worked with or helped out. She had a contacts book with all the packs numbers and back up numbers and addresses. The elders were all in there to, and Charlie and Anne. She had places for unopened mail and opened mail, for things to be filed and things that needed to be done right away. She had invoices and payments all organized even for those jobs we did on the side, instead of an invoice she had work in exchange for pie or some shit like that. She even had the pack schedule I'd roughly done up, organized and neatly printed out, which she informed me was so she and the other imprints would know when we were out there but would also help the wolves if they needed to switch things around. The office was clean and so organized with everything color-coded and in its right place.

"I'd like to paint so it's a little brighter in here and get a better chair that thing is not very comfortable but what do you think?"

"I think you did an amazing job." She beamed at me and I pulled her into a kiss.

When we pulled away she was still grinning, "I'm going to start on the kitchen tomorrow, that one I already know I need a few things for, your pans are awful, I think you have burned things to the bottoms to many times and I want a good skillet, also its not very effectively organized for cooking."

I laughed and hugged her to me; "Move things around however you like baby-girl and buy whatever you want, the kitchen as you told me the first day you came, is all yours."

She laughed and leaned up on her toes to kiss me.

"Now tell me why you didn't change anything about the house? I told you I want you to make it yours. Did you make a list of the things you don't like or want?"

"Sam, I can only do so much in a day. One thing at a time, the office needed to be finished and I told you I want to paint it and get a new chair, next is the kitchen."

"Alright" I conceded "but remember this office and the kitchen might be your domain but the rest of the house is yours to and I want as much of you in it as me as well."

"How about outside it?"

"What do you mean outside it?"

"Can we plant some flowers?"

"Baby-girl you can plant poison oak if you want to." I laughed, "This is your home."

"Hah, those boys would probably get into fights and push each other into it and then we'd have to deal with the consequences." She laughed, "I think I'll stick to flowers."

A notion I fully agreed with.

The next few days went by so easily. The worst part of my day was when I had to kiss her goodbye in the mornings and go to work. Whenever I came home though I noticed small signs of her nesting. Once she got the kitchen the way she liked she only added a photo of her parents to the mantel until I pushed her again. Finally she had started to make her mark in the rest of the house and every little thing made my heart happier.

One day I came home to her books lining the bookshelves and another I found chick flicks mixed in with my DVDs. I found a frame of several photos hanging in on the wall one day. It was oddly shaped and in one was a photo of my mother and I, in another my Aunt, mother and I, in another she stood with her mother and Phil at their wedding and the fourth was her and Charlie. I wondered why the center one was blank and she said it was for one of us but she didn't have any yet. I vowed right then we would have photos taken of us next time the pack was together. Along the hall in the pack she had also blown up and hung three photos of the forest, all in black and white and yet in different lights, I was shocked when she told me she had taken them, I had no idea my imprint liked photography. Maybe I should build her a darkroom. The next shock came when she added more photos of the pack to the shelves in the living room and an old one of Leah and I made in the mix. When I asked her about it she just shrugged and said Leah was a big part of my past and there was nothing to be jealous about, since they were sisters now.

Damn I loved this woman.

Finally came the day she had been waiting for. Rylan was coming. I reluctantly agreed he could stay with us when she asked, looking at me with those big soft brown eyes all sad and doe like how could I not say yes? That didn't mean I liked it. I didn't want any man near my imprint outside the pack. I kept reminding myself he was gay but I was still a little jealous of how much she loved him. I was also kind of nervous to meet him, I mean Charlie I knew before and he was great about the imprint but Rylan, that kid needed to like me, I mean, I don't think I was this nervous about meeting her mother. He seemed like a much bigger deal to her. When she talked about him she just lit up. She'd laugh when I'd start to growl and remind me he'd more likely hit on me than her, then teasingly pout that he might steel me away which always made me laugh and then claim her to show her just who I belonged to and who she did.

As nervous as I was, Paul was distant and angry. As she bounced around this morning he barely held back a low growl.

"You alright man?" I asked as we got into the truck.

"Yeah, shouldn't Sam be the one all worked up?"

"He's gay." I growled at Jared, fighting the urge to go inside and claim my mate, driving my scent into her skin. It was harder than ever not marking her last night and this morning it was almost painful not to.

"Fuck you." Paul spat at him shaking.

"Paul, calm down." I ordered trying to get myself under control as well.

"Please, you're having a hard enough time and its not like he's gonna take her from _you._" He spat.

I stilled, surprised by the pain in his voice, if there had been a doubt, there wasn't now, Paul had definitely somehow imprinted a brother bond with Bella.

Jared spoke up softly, "Rylan isn't taking Bella from you either man." Jared and Jake were the only ones who knew about the strange almost imprint, Jake because I had told him and we'd gone to Billy together and Jared because Paul had talked to him about it. We were keeping it from the rest of the pack and the girls until we had idea about what was going on.

Paul didn't say anything so we all just got into the truck and drove out to the site. It was a long day, I was anxious about meeting someone so important to my Bella tonight and really worried about Paul. I had to send him home at lunch since he couldn't pull himself together. He was too angry and volatile, like before Emily. I hoped she and the run home would calm him.


	23. Chapter 23

**I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG HIATUS! FIRST IT WAS SCHOOL COMMITMENTS AND THEN FAMILY COMMITMENTS AND I FOUND MYSELF A LITTLE STUCK WITH WRITERS BLOCK KNOWING WHERE I WANTED TO GO BUT NOT BEING ABLE TO WRITE. NO REAL GOOD REASON FOR IT. BUT I AM BACK. I REREAD THE STORY AND FOUND MY RHYTHM AGAIN. HOPEFULLY I WILL BE UPDATING AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK. SO SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT.**

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can. **

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

**Bella…**

"Sam," I slipped easily into his arms as he walked through the door towards the kitchen, "How was your day?"

He shrugged, "Fine. Yours?"

"Good." I smiled as he leaned down to kiss me. "This is Rylan. Ry, my fiancé Sam." I noticed Sam's lips twitch at the word fiancé.

Sam held out his hand and shook Rylan's, "Nice to meet you."

"You to." I noticed Rylan looking him up and down and lifted my brow at him, he sent me a wink and I laughed.

"Let's eat." I led them into the kitchen and soon they were talking amicably. I could see the approval in Rylan's eyes.

They didn't have much of anything in common; Rylan was a homosexual city boy businessman who vacationed in Europe, Sam a straight native werewolf who had never really left the reservation. Rylan wasn't into sports and Sam wouldn't know a Monet from a Renoir but somehow they found common ground. I was glad. It was important to me that my boys got along.

After dinner we played poker, I sucked, no matter how many times Ry tried to teach me I could not bluff. We played for pennies and while they were pretty evenly matched, in the end Ry admitted defeat to Sam, apparently Sam was a pro-bluffer and Ry couldn't find his tell. Sam being a werewolf was able to pick up on any tiny changes in Rylan as so was mostly able to call him out. They were fun to watch.

Rylan kissed my forehead when he said goodnight and I was pleased, if a little surprised, not to hear a growl from the direction of my wolf.

"Well, that went well." I said as we walked into our room.

I guess I had thought to soon as I heard a low growl and Sam pulled me into his arms, "Mine." He said kissing me with almost brutal passion. I responded in kind.

"Yours." I panted when he finally freed my mouth. "Yours, please, Sam." I pulled him down to kiss me again. I forgot all about Rylan in the next room or that even without wolf hearing he would hear us. I was lost in my mate.

In the morning Rylan woke after Sam had left for patrol. He raised his eyebrow at me, one side of his mouth quirked up in a smile, "sleep well?"

I blushed, "Shut it bitch, you are just jealous."

"Hell yeah." He laughed, "It has been a long while honey and the last was not nearly as good as that sounded."

I blushed again "Well you will have to find your own." I told him handing him a mug of coffee, "I don't share."

He laughed, "so where is he this morning?"

"Doing some work for the council. We'll see him later."

"We heading into PA today? Get a start on wedding plans?"

"Yes please. And I decided I think I want Leah in a really pale almost butter yellow dress. Something that will hit about her knees or just below."

"Sounds good. Let's get going though we have a lot to do and you said you wanted to be back to help your friends with dinner for tonight."

"Yeah, the bonfire. We are going to have a cookout first and you can meet all the others."

"Sounds great honey." He said putting his mug in the sink, "Let's go then, I'll buy you breakfast when we get there."

I grinned at him, "I knew I loved you for a reason."

"Only one?"

I laughed, "Nah, sometimes its just harder to think of them all."

He laughed and pulled me into a hug. "Yeah I know the feeling you little bitch. Now let's go already."

"Yeah, yeah, let me leave Sam a note."

We drove out of La Push and I felt the familiar pull of being away from Sam. It didn't scare me anymore, except that this time I also felt sad and that scared me a little.

I knew Sam was still a wolf so I called Paul but he didn't pick up. I waited until we got to PA and Ry went to the bathroom at the restaurant to call Leah. I knew I was overreacting a bit, the sadness had mostly faded but I was still worried, I told myself it was just because our relationship was more settled and I was feeling the effects stronger and not because anything was wrong with Sam. I would know if something was really wrong with Sam wouldn't I?

"Hey Bella. Thought you would be off with Rylan today." Leah said answering her phone.

I breathed a sigh of relief, she would not have answered if things were bad and she would not have answered so easy going if things were somehow off. "Hey Leah, I'm sure it's nothing but could you check on Sam for me?"

I heard movement on the phone and then Sam's voice, "Bells? What's wrong?"

Again I sighed in relief, "Nothing."

"Bella?"

"Really Sam, I was just a little nervous. I felt weird leaving earlier and wanted to be sure you were okay and then Paul didn't pick up and I know he doesn't have patrol. I know he was likely just sleeping but I don't know. It's fine. I just wanted to be sure."

"Weird how though?"

"I don't know, sad. It got worse for a second when Paul didn't pick up and I know it was just the bond with you now that its so strong but I needed to check anyways."

He seemed to pause for a minute, "You still feel it?"

"A little. Not so much now. Mostly I just feel the pull towards you in La Push. Everything is ok right?"

"Everything is fine. Paul ran patrol with me this morning. He is fine."

I felt a small surge of relief but shook it off as I saw Ry heading back to our table, "Good. Ry is back from the boys' room so I'll talk with you later. I'm fine really. Just needed to be sure it was just our bond not wanting me away from you. I'll see you later."

"Be careful. I love you."

"Love you too." I said hanging up as Rylan sat down.

"Everything good with the husband?"

I laughed, "Yeah. I know, I'm not usually the type to be so clingy." I hesitated a moment, " I wasn't calling cause I had to or anything. I mean, he wouldn't care I was here with you, I can do what I want."

"Its all good honey. That man adores you, anyone can see it plain as day, I doubt he'd be the insecure controlling type who needed you checking in every minute."

"He's not. Turns out I might be though." I laughed.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing, I just miss him when he's not with me. I want to hear his voice for no reason." I sighed, "I feel safe when I'm near him, like nothing can ever hurt me, so I don't want to be away from him. It sounds so weak and dependent and I don't want to be. I want to be as good for him as he is me. I want to be strong for him. I'm also still scared about handing over control of my life but I can't seem not to want to know his opinions on everything, why he thinks that and then find myself wondering if what he thinks isn't better."

"Isa, that is normal. Hell I am not with Jack and I still call him for his opinion on things. I call you all the time for your opinion on everything and for my senior year I pretty well didn't want to choose lunch without Matt I had fucked up my life so thoroughly. I was still there for him when he needed me and you know we are strong for each other when it's needed. It isn't giving over control. You are making him a part of your life and you haven't known each other long, its normal for you to want to know what he might think about things and to question your views to his, you do it with me all the time. I say one thing is better you say another and we argue our points and either change our stance or agree to disagree, its normal honey. Eventually you will feel safe without having to be next to him all the time, right now its just important that for once in a long time you do feel safe."

I bit back tears and squeezed his hand as the waitress came over to take our orders. At her concerned look, I laughed and assured her all was well. We ordered breakfast and our conversation turned back to the wedding.

Our next stop was a magazine store where we got a dozen bridal magazines. We went to a coffee shop and began going through them all. Once we had a clearer idea of what I wanted we went to a stationary store and found invitations and then to look at flowers at the florist. By that time it was almost five and time to head back to the reservation. I was excited and nervous about Rylan meeting the pack.

When we got to Emily's the guys were not there. Kim and Em fell in love with Rylan, of course, and he adored them as well. I knew I would have an ally in Kim if ever I decided to play matchmaker for him and her brother but for now I would not push. Things seemed to be progressing well on their own.

We chatted and sang to the radio as we cooked, Rylan happily helping. I was just wondering where the boys were when I felt warm arms wrap around me and grinned. Turning I reached up on tiptoes and kissed my mate.

"Have a good day?" I asked snuggling into his chest.

"Was fine." Something sounded off in his voice but I knew I couldn't ask with Rylan there.

"Rylan and I ordered invitations today."

He smiled and I felt him relax a little more. "So the wedding plans are well under way and I do not have to worry he has suddenly realized he is not gay and utterly in love with you?"

I laughed, "Even if he did, he's my brother, I don't love him like that." I saw something flash in his eyes and his body stiffen slightly in my arms, "Sam?"

He shook his head and leaned down to kiss me, "The boys and I will go start the grill."

"Ok." I hugged him to me again before letting him go. Whatever it was we couldn't talk about it now.

"Everything ok honey?" Ry asked as I moved back to slicing tomatoes for the burgers.

I nodded and sent him a quick smile, "just wishing all you would disappear for an hour or so."

He and the girls laughed and we all went back to cooking. "Why don't you bring this out to the boys Rylan, my boyfriend Jared is the one in the khaki cargo shorts." Kim said handing him a plate of chicken.

"Mine is the angry looking one in forest cargo shorts, his name is Paul, don't let his temper scare you he's just an ass." Emily laughed seeing his eyes raise to meet hers in the window and winking at him.

"The one in jean cut offs is my friend Jake and the others will be introduced to you outside." I said opening the back door for him. When it closed behind him I turned back to the girls, "Well, I hope throwing him to the wolves was a good idea."

"They'll be fine." Emily reassured me. "Sam was the hard part. The others will be nice."

"I'm still not sure sending him out alone was a good idea." I said glancing out the window.

"He's fine. Relax Bella. The pack loves you and you love Rylan, they will be nice."

"Humph" we heard a snort and turned as Leah walked into the kitchen, Seth waving hello before heading straight out back to the other guys. "He's a big boy Bella I don't think you need to hold his hand to meet the guys."

"Bite me Leah." I rolled my eyes at her, "I just want them to like him and him to like them."

"He will, they will. Stop stressing."

"Yeah," I rolled my eyes, "isn't that what you said about Sam's mom? Not to worry that she would like me?"

"She doesn't not like you Bella, she will grow to love you, she just needs to get off the Leah and Sam delusion."

"Maybe after we get married. Especially if you are standing next to me in support of us."

"I am sure… wait did you just say standing next to you?"

I grinned at her, "Ry is going to be my man-of-honor but I thought maybe you would be my bridesmaid?"

A grin broke out on her beautiful face, "me? Really? You want me to stand with you?"

I nodded, "will you please?" Kim and I were closer friends but I had a sort of sisterly bond with Leah.

She pulled me into a tight hug, "yes, of course, I can't believe you want me to, I'd love it."

"Leah, oxygen." I wheezed.

She stepped back blushing, "Sorry Bell."

I grinned, "Rylan is already running away with the wedding plans, we have invitations, colors, flowers but I'd still also like your opinion," I turned slightly to Emily and Kim, "both of yours as well."

"Of course." They both smiled at me.

"And I get your bachelorette, tell Rylan I call dibs on planning it."

I laughed, "Ok, its all yours."

"Uh oh." I heard Kim and spun around to the window and looked outside.

Jake and Paul were fighting. Sam was standing in front of Rylan. Wait, no, Jake was holding Paul back, and he was shaking, really shaking.

We ran outside but we were only a few steps out the door when Paul exploded, he was growling at Sam and Rylan still, ignoring Jake.

Sam stepped forward and I saw Rylan reach out to stop him but Jared held him back as Sam moved forward before jumping and landing as a wolf in front of Paul. It all happened in seconds. We watched as Sam pushed Paul into the woods.

CH 24 is already under way and should be to you in the next day or two. I am not 100% happy with this chapter but now that I am writing again it's starting to flow in my head again.

PLEASE Let me know what you think.

Also I was debating a Paul chapter what are your opinions? Or did you want Sam's perspective on Rylan?


	24. Chapter 24

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can. **

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

**Bella…**

Everything in the yard was silent.

I walked over to Rylan who was still staring after them in the woods. I reached out and touched his arm, "Ry, honey." He jumped when I touched him and I held up my hands to show him it was only me, "it's ok, Ry, I promise. Let's just go inside and talk." I reached out to him slowly and took his hand. He let me lead him into the house.

"Rylan, honey, I know what you just saw is a little insane but its ok, I promise." I rubbed his back and Emily came in with a bottle of Jack and a tumbler already full. She quickly retreated again.

I put the glass into Rylan's hand and he took the shot. Then his eyes finally met mine. "Shit." He swore and took another shot. I saw his hands shaking.

"It's ok Ry."

He looked at me like I lost my marbles, "OK? How is this ok? I just saw two grown men turn into giant wolves!"

"I know."

"You know? You know! Isabella your fiancé just turned into an overgrown dog!"

"A wolf. And I know. Sam is a werewolf. So are the others."

He looked at me again like I had grown a second head; "I have to get you out of here."

He pulled my hand and started to walk to the front door, it was immediately blocked by Jared, "Afraid I can't let you do that man." He said crossing his arms.

"Can't let me…" Rylan looked at him and then around the room, Jake was stood at the backdoor blocking escape, I could see the other wolves still in the yard through the window, the imprints with them. Rylan squared his shoulders and pulled me closer to him, "I am taking her out of here and so help me if you try to stop us."

"You'll what?" Jake growled.

I could feel Rylan trembling slightly, "Fuck off Jake. Jared move, now!" I snapped at them. They both looked at me hurt.

"Bella," Jared turned his attention to me, "please."

"I'm not leaving him J." I said more softly, "Just let us pass, go check on Sam and Paul."

He nodded and stepped out of the way. Rylan watched him warily as he led me out of the house and into my truck.

He said nothing as we got in the truck and he started driving.

When his hands started to relax on the steering wheel and his knuckles got a little less white, I spoke, my voice quiet as though not to startle him, "Ry, honey, tell me what happened?"

He looked at me in disbelief, "You tell me Isa. I just saw your fiancé turn into a wolf, a fucking wolf."

"I know Ry but why? What happened out there?"

"I don't know Isa. The guy went nuts, started shaking and growling and then he, I don't know, exploded and was a giant angry silver wolf. Then Sam was a giant angry black wolf."

"Ry, pull over honey, we'll be in Canada soon." I tried for lighthearted but it came out sad and quiet. His hands tightened on the wheel, "please Ry, just pull over and we will talk." He sighed and found an off ramp and pulled into a parking lot. We looked out into the woods.

"Sam and the other guys and Leah are werewolves. I have known since I went back to see him that night you were here. Emily and Kim are imprints like me."

"Imprints?"

"Soul mates. The werewolves imprint when they meet their soul mate. A big neon sign saying 'find your perfect girl here' lights up in their heads and to make sure they listen it stops them from being with or even wanting someone else. Sam imprinted on me, the first moment he saw me. It hurts him to be away from me. I don't understand all of it but he needs to be near me." I sighed, "Rylan, all that matters is he loves me and I love him."

He looked over at me, "Is he dangerous?"

"To vampires and anyone who hurts me."

"Vampires?"

"Yup." I nodded, "apparently they exist too."

"This why I couldn't ask about David?"

"Sam went a little crazy, he and a few of the others hunted him down; made sure I was safe."

He nodded, "Jack?"

"Not a werewolf. Doesn't even know they exist."

"Isa." He sighed and ran a hand over his face.

I put my hand on his shoulder, "Ry, all that you need to know is that he loves me, that he will do anything in his power to keep me safe and happy. I love him. He is my soul mate. I will not leave him."

He nodded, "are the others dangerous?"

"Only to vampires or anyone who tries to hurt the imprints. They will protect their mates, their pack and their people." I hesitated, "they can also be dangerous if you make them angry, not because they will become violent but because as you saw with Paul it makes them change and if you are close when that happens you can get hurt."

It took him less than a minute to make the connection, "Emily's face."

I nodded, "Paul shifted to close. He has to live with it everyday. She is the one with the scars but it is he who suffers. The pain of their imprint hurts the wolf. Having caused that pain is nearly unbearable for Paul even though it wasn't his fault he hates himself for it."

"I don't think you should be near him."

"Paul would never hurt me Ry. He's like you. My family."

He looked at me in disbelief. "Isa."

"No Rylan." I shook my head. "Paul is my brother, I need him, almost as much as I need Sam. All the wolves are my family now. I need you to be ok with this." I began to explain everything I knew about werewolves and the pack to him, I knew it was a lot to take in but I needed him to understand, to know everything.

He leaned his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes, "Isa, I love you, I do but this is crazy."

"I know." I had tears in my eyes now.

He let his head fall back forward and turned to look at me, "Does it hurt you this imprint thing?"

"It hurts me to be away from him. It's why I couldn't eat. My heart aches without him. From what I understand it is nothing compared to what they feel."

He closed his eyes and opened them again, "Ok." He turned back to face the front and started the truck, pulling around he began heading back to La Push at a much more reasonable pace.

We didn't talk as he drove. When he came to a stop in front of Sam's house neither of us moved to get out.

"Isa. I love you. I would do anything for you."

I bit back tears but I knew he would hear them in my voice, "But you are leaving."

He sighed and turned to me, "Just give me a couple days to get my head around this shit. It's fucking heavy honey and I nearly pissed myself and had a heart attack."

I nodded, "Ok," my voice broke and I swiped at the tear that escaped.

"Hey, come on, you're still my girl Isa. I'll just head back to Seattle and work on the wedding from there. We have a ton to do."

I nodded again, "ok."

He got out of the truck and came around to my side; he opened the door and pulled me into his arms in a big hug. "Promise me you are safe here."

"Safer than anywhere in the world." I answered without hesitation.

"I love you." He hugged me tighter before letting go.

"Rylan?" My voice cracked and tears streamed down my face.

"Hey, honey." He pulled me back into a hug, "Its not goodbye or anything. I love you and nothing is going to change that. Just let me get my head around this. Decide what I need to know and what I can pretend doesn't exist, ok?" I nodded into his chest, "you and me are good though, ok honey. You and me, we'll always be ok." I sniffled and stepped away from him a little.

"I'm sorry Paul did that. I don't know why he did it. They have better control normally."

"Hell I don't know Isa. We rub each other the wrong way is all but if you love him, then I'll learn to be ok with him and if he loves you he will learn to be ok with me to."

I nodded again and walked with him over to his rental. "Drive careful."

He swiped a hand over my tear-stained cheeks, "Stop crying honey. It's all ok. I love you." He bent a little to kiss my forehead before getting in his car and driving away. I hugged my arms around my body and went in to call the others.

I wasn't sure if Sam and Paul were human again yet so I called Leah.

"Hey sis, where you at? Sam is going a little wacky, hell they all are. Jared and Jake got into it for him letting you leave and they phased. Paul is still, well fuck I don't know what's wrong with him but Em is trying to calm him down."

"I'm home. Ry is fine. He's going back to Seattle to digest the information overload. He'll be back in a few days." My voice cracked and I swiped at the fresh tears.

"Fuck, sis. You alright? Want me to come over or just send your mate home?"

"Can you come over and get me? Tell Sam and the guys we'll just meet them up at the bonfire. I'm not hungry."

"They heard you, of course, I'll be there in two. Sit tight."

I waited for Leah outside trying to pull myself together. I mean so the meeting hadn't gone as smoothly as I had hoped, at least now I wouldn't have to lie to Rylan about the wolves.

Leah got out and came to sit next to me on the porch. "Kim put a plate aside for you when I told her I was coming for you. The rest of us ate while you were with Rylan."

"How is everyone?"

"Paul is still a wreck. Sam is worried about you. The others are fine."

"What happened Leah?"

"I was inside with you." She said shrugging.

I glared at her, "Leah, please."

She sighed, "I honestly don't know. I didn't hear what was said, I wasn't listening to the guys and they were standing far enough away not to be clear over us in the kitchen, the music and the others."

"What about after I left?"

She shrugged, "Sam and Paul came back and Emily went to Paul. Sam ordered Jake and Jared to stop fighting and phase back. Jake took off. Jared and Sam were talking when I left."

"Is Paul ok? What could have made him so angry with Rylan?"

"I think you should ask Paul."

I nodded. "Yeah, well, I suppose we should go."

We got up and went to her car.

"Bell, listen, I know things are crazy and life with us has just been a roller coaster for you but,"

"I'm not going anywhere Leah. I love Sam. I am going to marry him."

"Yeah," she smiled at me, "I'm here whenever you need me."

"I could use a drink, but other than that I am ok now. Rylan will get his head sorted and be back in a few days. Whatever is wrong between him and Paul will have to be sorted or they will just have to be kept apart. All will be right as rain again soon."

Leah laughed, "glad you are feeling better and I will get you that drink as soon as we get to Paul's."

When we arrived most of the pack was already gone up to the cliff's to start the bonfire.

I followed Leah inside and Kim hugged me. "I put a plate aside for you."

"Thanks Kim," I smiled at her following her into the kitchen. I sat at the table and picked at the plate of food Kim set in front of me. Leah came in and opened the fridge, coming to the table with three bottles of Sol. She popped the tops and set one in front of me, handing another to Kim and sitting at the table with us. She helped me finish the to large plate Kim had made for me and Kim washed up while Leah tossed out our bottles and opened up three new ones.

By silent agreement we didn't talk about anything Rylan or wolf related, instead Leah began to propose ideas for a bachelorette and we debated back and forth what to do. What would be fun, what would be possible being imprints, and what would not freak our mates out too much, the trip to Vegas obviously vetoed by that.

After a little while the back door opened, Leah stood and I turned to smile at my mate. He stood there as Kim and Leah left before coming over and pulling me up and into his arms.

"I'm so sorry baby-girl."

The next chapter is going wolf. Paul or Sam I am still not sure. The reviews seem pretty pro-Paul right now. Though you all seem a bit divided about it. I'll try to have it up tomorrow or Sat but no promises.


	25. Chapter 25

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can. **

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

Just a little Paul…

_What the hell is happening to me! _I screamed in my head, frustrated, angry, scared and sad, always lately I was sad.

_Calm down Paul._ I heard Sam's alpha voice fill my mind.

I whined and lay on my belly.

_Sorry Paul._ He let the heaviness of the alpha timbre fall from his tone.

I stayed low to the ground. _It's worse Sam. It's just getting worse. I don't know what the fuck is happening to me. It fucking hurts Sam. Seeing her happy even, with him, it fucking hurts. _I admitted.

_Is it the same with us? With me?_ He asked.

I shook my large wolf head at him, _No. With you, I feel relieved; my wolf knows she is meant for you; safe with you, when I see her with you part of my soul relaxes. With the others, I don't know why it's different. Jake has loved her forever. Jared adores her. Hell even Leah feels a close bond to her. I feel close to her still through them. With him, I see him with her and the wolf seethes in anger. Shit Sam, I fucking hate him. I see her laugh or touch him and it hurts. _I whimpered.

_You feel threatened by him? _Sam asked.

I felt a wave of pain and loss fill me. How could I describe this feeling? Whenever she was with him, whenever she was away from me I felt lost. Unless she was with Sam, then I was fine.

As I thought about how to describe it, unable to find the words, Sam listened to my thoughts and absorbed the emotions. I felt his understanding, fear and sadness.

_Sam?_

His thought flowed gently into my head; _She needs to understand what is going on. I think you should tell her._

_We don't understand what is going on. _I reminded him.

His voice came stronger into my mind, more sure of his belief._ You should talk to her Paul._

_What do I say? _I asked, fear twisting my gut. What if she was upset?

_She will be upset you haven't told her. Just tell her the truth. Tell her you love her, that she is your sister and that you need her. _

I could have killed him. It would have hurt her. I would have lost her. I felt pain and fear fill my gut; an overwhelming sadness began to crush my soul. It was a feeling I was almost becoming used to, having lived with it nearly constantly the last couple days. With Emily it was painful to be apart from her, a vice around my heart. With Bella I felt empty. A pressure on my chest made it hard to breath and all I felt was sadness.

_Paul? _I looked up at the odd sound in Sam's voice, waiting for him to continue. _This feeling. The sadness was it particularly strong this morning?_

I tilted my head at him, worried at why he would ask.

_She felt it. Bella called Leah earlier. Said she had felt something odd in our bond and wanted Leah to check on me. I was with Seth fixing Sue's back porch so she came out back and gave me the phone. Bella said she felt sad. I knew it wasn't us Paul. It had to be you. She felt the imprint with you._

I listened as he replayed the phone conversation for me. She had felt it sharpen when I didn't pick up my phone.

_Yes. _Sam confirmed _She felt sadness, pain from the imprint, when she couldn't reach you._

_FUCK! _I shouted out, angry again. I was making her sad. Sam should be tearing me apart not trying to comfort me; I was causing his imprint to hurt.

_She is your imprint to Paul. You are not trying to hurt her. You need to talk to her. And to Emily. I think it is time everyone knows what is going on._

Emily. My mind shot to my beautiful imprint. Would she understand? Would she be hurt? Angry? I didn't love Bella like I loved her. I could never love anyone like I loved her. But I was afraid I loved Bella almost as much as I loved her. And that thought terrified me.

_Bella will always be my reason for existence. Emily is yours. Whatever this new imprint is it has given you something more to fight for. It has made you stronger and calmer._

_Calmer_ I mentally scoffed _I just shifted in front of her very human gay best friend and was halfway mad enough to rip him apart._

_Yes _I heard him mentally chuckle, _well you are calmer most of the time. With Rylan you are more like the wolf we knew before Emily. Angry, emotional and volatile._

I dropped my head to my paws.

_Paul?_

I could hear the worry in his voice. _I don't want to be like that Sam. Angry and broken. I don't want to be that man again._

_You aren't Paul._ He sighed. _When you became a wolf it was one more thing that was fucking you over. You had every right to be angry and because of the wolf you had to learn to let go of an anger that you deserved to be aloud to express. In normal, human ways, like fucking and fighting. Not that that changed much as a wolf at first but Paul you have overcome more than most. You are maybe the best of us. You have seen the darkness of this world and yet you are still the most loyal and loving wolf. You fight to defend people who have never done anything to help or care for you. You would have done anything for your pack. Then when you met Emily, she soothed the wolf. I think._ He hesitated as he thought, the ideas blurs crossing to fast through his mind for me to process, forming a new theory as he spoke;_ well I think maybe Bella is soothing your soul. Not the soul of the wolf but the soul of the man, the boy you were. You are doing the same for her. Being the brother she has always needed._

I let his words seep into me. I had been angry but the anger of the wolf mixed all that pain together and I locked it all away. It was still there making life hard for me until Emily. Then most of the anger went away. Sam was right and he was wrong, it wasn't the anger Bella took away, it was the pain, the loneliness. It had been to hard to feel all that pain, anger was easier so I locked away all the hurt and let the rage consume me. Then as a wolf I had to control the rage. Emily made that possible but all that pain was still locked away, clawing at the edges of my soul. With Bella all the hurt went away until I felt like I was loosing her, then it came back in crushing waves. Somehow she was holding all the broken parts of my soul together.

I felt Sam's head knock into my neck. It was a gesture of comfort and friendship. _Talk to her Paul._ He thought at me before running off into the woods and phasing. Leaving me alone to my thoughts.

Sam was right. I needed to tell Bella. But first I needed my imprint. I needed her to understand that I loved her, that I would always love her best. But whatever this imprint with Bella, I needed her too. I needed her to feel whole.

And a little Sam…

I left Paul in the woods and went back to the house. I had been worried about him the last few days. Not as worried as I should have been though. This brother, no this sibling imprint was stronger than I had thought. I had thought it went only the one way but my Bella felt it to. They needed each other. Oddly the wolf was still ok with this. Me, well I wasn't so sure where I stood. Not that I was jealous of him. Hell I could see inside his head, I knew he saw her as a baby sister. Hell it was the strongest sibling affection in the pack and Brady and Collin were inseparable identical twins for shits sake! I wasn't sure what I thought about all this really.

I liked Rylan, really I did, he was a good guy and I was beyond grateful he had been there for my Bella but he was not pack. I knew she loved him but he was not one of us and my responsibility was to my pack, to Paul. If Rylan caused him this amount of pain how could I allow him on the reservation? If not having him here caused Bella pain how could I not invite him to treat this as his home? Especially now that the wolf had exploded out of the freaking realm fiction for him. Maybe he'd check himself into an asylum for seeing things, could he have done LSD before? Maybe it was some latent hallucination.

I shook my head at my ridiculous thoughts. No the other side was known by him now. No doubt Bella would calm him down and explain it all. For her this was a good thing. For Paul. Shit. Why is it this brother who always seemed to get the short end of the stick in life? Why did he have to suffer more? Jared and I had rejoiced when he found Emily. No one deserved to find their soul mate and some peace more than him. Now he had to deal with a secondary imprint that none of us knew anything about. One that was causing him more pain with every minute she spent with away from him, every moment she was near Rylan.

I found Jared and Jake in the yard, fighting.

"Jared, Jake. Phase back, now." I let the alpha timbre fill my tone.

When they stood naked and panting, glaring at each other in front of me, I lifted my brows in question.

"He let them leave. Just let Rylan take her away." Jake growled.

"Bella, wanted to leave, we can't just keep her here." Jared growled back at him before turning to me, "She's not leaving you Sam. She just went to talk to him."

I nodded at them both. "Jake, Jared was right to let her leave. He loves her to and only wants what makes her happy."

"Everyone knows Bella better than me. Loves her and deserves her more right!" Jake spat at me, stalking away.

I stared after him stunned. With all that had happened I had forgotten Jake's pain. He had lost Bella to me, then again to Paul. Now Rylan threatened his place again. The kid really did love her. Bella was my mate, Paul's sister, and Rylan's best friend. We all wanted her and he kept getting pushed aside.

"Sam, I'm sorry." I raised a hand to stop Jared.

"You were right to let them go. He needs a neutral place right now where he can feel safe. She will calm him down. Paul is fine. He needs to think and to see Emily." I raised my voice so the other wolves could hear me easier, "Seth, take Emily to Paul. Then all of you get going to the bonfire." They left. I knew Kim was still in the kitchen tidying things up for Emily and waiting for Jared who stayed with me, after we watched the wolves leaving Jared spoke again.

"I don't understand what happened Sam. One minute you and I were talking to Rylan and the next Paul went ballistic from across the yard. I can't think of a single thing Rylan might have said to make him angry."

"He loves Bella." I sighed. "They have a special bond, one made in the darkest time of her life. Paul is threatened by it. This sibling bond is growing stronger, it hurts him more than we would ever have imagined, he has always hid his pain. Today I saw it. Rylan threatens the bond. I think, well I hope, it will get better once Bella knows and recognizes the bond, as with any imprint it should ease the wolf to know she accepts him."

"He's going to tell her?"

"First he will tell Emily. Then her. I will explain it to the rest of the pack at the bonfire."

"Some fucking engagement party eh." Jared shook his head.

I looked at him in shock, "Engagement party?"

"Shit. It was going to be a surprise. Paul and Emily planned the bonfire for you two. After dinner we were going up to the cliff's where the old timers and the girls already decorated. We decided to start our own tradition. It was Paul's idea. He wanted Bella to be blessed by the spirits to make her part of the tribe even though she is not Quileute. We were going to do the same to Emily and Kim as well. Then we could do the ritual for all new imprints. A new tradition, you know. I mean, Emily is Makah and Bella is a pale face, even Kim is only half Quileute. This way they would be officially ours. I mean they are ours, they are pack but they'll be part of the tribe to. Paul organized it with the Elders and the wise one so that it was official. Making them nominal members of the tribe or some shit, I think officially its friend of the tribe, or sisters of the tribe something like that. Initially Old Quil laughed and said they would never be Quileute. Paul got pissed and said they were pack and that meant they belonged to the tribe, Quileute or not and we should do something to recognize that. All the elders listened to him and agreed. Sue is really excited. Old Quil even nodded in respect to us after. Saying in none of the legends had a pack been so united."

I listened to Jared and felt a constriction in my chest. My pack had done this for me, for my Bella, for all the imprints, to bring our pack, our brothers and sisters closer. "Go, take Kim and Leah up to the cliffs. I'll bring Emily so Paul and Bella can talk. Then they will come to the cliffs." I smiled at my brother, the first to join me in this life, "And Jared, tonight is the perfect engagement party. A wolf fight or two, a new type of imprint connecting and a new tradition born at the bonfire to bring our pack closer together." I grinned at him. "It would be to chick-flick and not Paul's style if no one had wolfed out tonight."

Jared laughed. "Yeah, you're right, it's totally fucking fitting."

"Here is Leah with Bella, go get them and get going." Bella must have called Leah, since I was a wolf when she left. I wondered where Rylan was and if she was ok. I know I assured Jared all was fine and tonight was still a perfect werewolf style engagement party but I wasn't entirely sure Bella would be up for it if things had gone poorly with Rylan.

"What about Jake?"

"Shit." I swore. Jake had to be there. The pack should be whole for what Jared said they had planned. It would hurt Jake not to be a part of it, even if he didn't realize it now. And I could not leave my brother to suffer. I should have been there for him but had let him down.

"You take the girls, make sure Emily is ok with the imprint." I had wanted to be the one to talk to her, to make sure she was alright, let her know I was happy about it and that it in no way took away from her bond with Paul or my bond with Bella, I was pretty sure Bella and Paul's bond only made ours with them stronger, or at least it would once it stopped hurting them. "I'll find Jake." And say what to him I wasn't sure. How did I heal his broken heart? I knew Bella would know what to say to him, that she would make it better if she knew he was hurting but Paul needed her now. The amount of pain swimming around in him was suffocating. Even if she only felt the echo of it, I did not want her to hurt like that, to be so sad.

First I needed to see her. To be sure she was okay. Then I could breath easier and would hopefully think of something to say to Jake.

Fuck it was only eight and it had already been a long fucking night.

I saw Paul and Emily come out of the woods. Right. So check on them first. Then talk to Bella. Then find Jake. Comfort him. Convince him to come to the celebration/new imprint initiation into the tribe bonfire tradition, shit that was a mouthful to even think. Then go to the bonfire and find out what all this entailed. Hopefully after that I could take my imprint home and make love to her. Lock her up in our home for a couple days and just be naked with her. Relearning all the curves of her body with fingertips and tongue, kissing every freckle and scar. Damn I wanted to lose myself in her and let all the stresses of the pack just float away.

I walked over to Paul and Emily. My eyes on my brother's imprint, "How are you Em?"

She smiled up at me though I could see the traces of tears in her eyes, "I'm ok Sam."

"You're imprint is still strong Emily. Nothing can break it."

"I know Sam. I was worried, not knowing what was wrong with him. Why I couldn't help him. I understand now. Bella is family. If Paul has a supernatural connection to her that makes her his sister, more so than just a pack sister, then she is my sister to."

I read the sincerity in her eyes. Emily truly was a good woman. She loved her mate and trusted in that love. It was more than just the imprint, which is obvious since he now has a second one, she believed in the love behind the imprint. "It eases my soul knowing she has you and Paul when I cannot be with her."

"As it eases mine knowing my mate will find peace with himself." She seemed to hesitate.

"Emily?"

"It's just an old story I once heard."

"The spirit warriors and the cold ones are old stories Emily and yet there is truth. Tell me."

"Emily thinks Bella hasn't healed my soul but become bound to it." Paul interrupted.

I frowned at them, "Tell me the story."

"It is not one of our legends but a story passed by a visitor to our lands many years ago. The Makah lands, not Quileute." She clarified before continuing, "The story is fractured, much like the spirit of the warrior in it. It is said that a young warrior who had grown in suffering became a great protector. He was angry and broken, his spirit fractured. He found his soul mate in a young maiden and they married but even with the missing half of his soul, his spirit was still fractured. She soothed his pain and anger but could not heal what had been broken as the pieces of his soul were lost. Then a visitor came into the lands. A beautiful woman who fell in love with a wise man of the lands, she was a great healer, not of body but of spirit and when the young warrior looked into her eyes her spirit reached out and touched his. Her spirit was as fractured as his for she had suffered much in her short life. The spirit of the healer and the warrior connected forging a bond between the two. All the missing pieces of their spirit were now filled with pieces of each other's. They had become of one spirit. The warriors wife was his soul mate, the healer had become part of his spirit, they had become one. Like the double born. Only they had not been born to be separate so when the warrior died his spirit carried the spirit of the healer with him to the other realm." I had the chills at the end of the tale. "I think the double born are identical twins, many believe that they are one soul born in two bodies." She added as I absorbed what she had said.

I looked from Emily to Paul and back again, "do you know where the legend came from?"

"No." she shrugged, "my grandmother told it to me but she died last year."

"We'll do some research and look into it. Thank you Emily." I smiled at her and she sent me one back, I saw her squeeze Paul's hand and he leaned down to kiss her before she walked over to Jared. "You need to talk to Bella. Tell her about the imprint." He nodded. "I need a minute with her, make sure she is ok, with all that has happened." He nodded again. "If this legend is true it explains everything Paul."

"And if I die so does she."

"So does Emily. It is the way of things Paul. We knew when we learned about imprinting that we would not survive without them and that it was likely they would not survive without us once the imprint was complete."

"And so do you. Sam, if I die and take her with me."

"Paul you are not dying. Not for many years. You will protect her. We will protect her."

He nodded. "She wasn't even upset. When I told her, she looked at me in shock. I told her I loved her above all else. That I thought of Bella as a sister only. She hugged me and started crying and I thought I had hurt her but she just kissed me and said she had been so worried and was so glad I was ok. We sat down and talked and once I explained it she told me that story. I mean fuck Sam. It could be written for Bella and me; me the young warrior with the fucked up past and broken spirit, with my soul mate to complete me and still not healed. Then here comes Bella and she makes us all love her, and ok so you are a protector and not a magic man but she came here and found love in you and then we met eyes, and imprinted this sibling thing and besides when I feel the pain of the imprint itself I have never felt better or more at peace."

"It is a scary parallel Paul and I think that it is true." Something inside me, where the magic of the ancestors lived, I felt the truth in it.

"Fuck Sam, I know it is. As soon as she finished the story I felt it to my bones that it was the truth."

"We still don't know what it means Paul. Why did the warrior and Healer create this bond? There are many who suffer without this magic. We have to learn more about the legend."

"Are you going to tell the pack?"

I shook my head. "I think Emily should tell it, later tonight at the bonfire. We will tell the imprint legend and this legend before whatever else you have planned."

"Fuck Jared." he growled at his brother knowing he could hear us across the lawn.

"I'm surprised you lot kept it from me at all." I laughed, "It will be the perfect surprise for Bella. And I know none of the details." Instantly his frown faded. He didn't smile but I could see a new light in his eyes. "Wait for her out here. I will send her to you."

He nodded and I went into the house. Leah had listened to our conversation outside. She, Kim and Bella were drinking bottles of beer at the kitchen table. As I entered Leah stood and sent me a small smile, instantly I felt relief, whatever happened with Rylan, Bella was ok. I nodded my gratitude and she left with Kim.

I pulled my mate up into my arms. "I am so sorry Bella. How is Rylan? Is he at our home?"

She shook her head, hugging me tightly, "It's not your fault. I'm sure it was an accident. Paul would not have hurt Rylan intentional. He wouldn't have shifted like that without a good reason. I know it Sam. Please don't be angry with him."

"I am not upset with Paul, baby-girl. Only worried about you."

"Me?" She leaned back to look up at me. "I'm fine. Rylan is really messed up. He's gone back to Seattle. I can't help but think maybe it's a good thing. I mean now he knows right? So I don't have to lie to him. I hated the idea of keeping something from him."

"He'll be back. He loves you."

She smiled at me. "I know. A little supernatural induced heart attack won't change that."

I chuckled and leant down to kiss her. "I love you so much Bell." I leaned my forehead against hers and sighed, "I have to go talk with Jake. Paul will take you to the cliffs."

"Is Jake ok?"

"He'll be fine." I hoped.

"Sam, what happened?"

I stood tall and looked down at her wanting nothing more than to take her in my arms, carry her home and let the world and all its drama disappear, leaving nothing behind but my lovely, preferably naked, mate and I.

"Let me worry about Jake, Bella. You just go with Paul."

"If something is wrong with Jake maybe I can help, just tell me what happened."

I sighed. "I can't."

"I thought we said no more secrets?"

"I know but this is something you need to talk to Paul about. He needs you right now Bella. Jake will be alright, I will talk with him."

"Paul? Is he ok? Is it about why he phased? Is Emily ok?" I could see the worry pouring out of her as she glanced out the window looking for Paul.

"Paul will be fine. He just needs you right now Bella. Go talk to him." I kissed her temple and led her to the back door.

As soon as she saw Paul sitting on a lawn chair she was out the door and walking towards him, worry clear in the lines of her body.

I wanted to be there for her; to comfort her and ease her worry but this was about her and Paul, it was a conversation they needed to have alone. He would comfort and protect her. Right now, I needed to find Jake.

**Coming soon we have the Sam and Jake and the Bella and Paul conversations. Then it is the engagement bonfire. And who knows where next. I will warn you here that some minor points in previous chapters may be coming back up in the post engagement bonfire chapters.**

**Please continue to leave reviews and let me know what you think.**

**To answer the main question… What did Rylan do to piss off Paul?... Nothing. More will be revealed when Paul and Bella talk.**

**!**

**I HAD A PROBLEM WITH MY COMPUTER LAST WEEK AND LOST _EVERTHING_ FOR THIS STORY. LUCKY I HAVE THIS SITE FOR WHAT WAS ALREADY DONE BUT ALL THE OUTLINE FOR THE REST IS GONE AS WELL AS THE NEXT TWO COMPLETED CHAPTERS :-( I WILL DO MY BEST TO REWRITE THEM AND REDO THE OUTLINE - PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ALREADY LIMITED TIME TO WRITE THIS IS A MAJOR SET BACK FOR ME! **


	26. Chapter 26

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can. **

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

**I am so sorry for the wait. I added the note to the end of the last chapter but for those of you who didn't get it, I had a problem with my computer and lost **_**everything**_**. This included **_**all **_**the work for this story. My entire outline for the story, this finished chapter and the next. Lucky I had this site for what I had already written and posted. I am not completely happy with this chapter, as I don't feel it is as good as it had been. The loss hit me harder than I expected coming so soon after that long hiatus and bout of writers block. I am having trouble restarting and was debating just scrapping the story.**

Back to Bella…

I walked over and sat next to Paul, after a moment he spoke, "I am so sorry Bella. I would never forgive myself if he had been hurt. I would never want to hurt you like that."

I went and sat next to him, "What happened Paul?"

"Nothing." He sighed, his fists clenching, "I just got so upset, I couldn't control it."

"But why Paul. What did he say to you? Or to offend you?"

"Nothing. He said hello to me. He was talking to Sam and Jared when it happened."

"Right but why?"

"I didn't mean it Bella. I would never hurt you by attacking someone you love."

"I know that Paul. It was an accident but if I know what he did to upset you I can help keep it from happening again."

"Nothing." He growled rising to his feet. "He did nothing Bella. He's just fucking perfect, the pack all like him."

"Paul?"

"Even Sam and Jake think he's great. My own fucking imprint adores him. Thinks I am an asshole. Not that that is new."

"Paul?" I wondered if it was a wolf jealousy thing, a non-pack male near his imprint but Jared had seemed fine and Sam got along well with him and he knew how close we were. "Even if he weren't gay and she your imprint, I mean, you have nothing to worry about."

He let out a bitter laugh, "Emily? You think I am worried about Emily liking him?" Long as the fucker is gay he can move in with us and spend every day in the kitchen with her. She is mine, even if he weren't gay she is mine, she will always be mine."

"I don't understand Paul. Why is so bad then that the pack likes him? He's my best friend, my brother, why do you hate him?" I felt like the wind was being squeezed from my lungs.

"Please don't cry." He pulled me to my feet and into his arms, "I'm sorry Bella. I'm so sorry, please don't cry. I'm an asshole, you know that, just ignore me."

I sniffled and hugged him, "You aren't an asshole Paul." I stepped back so I could look up into his eyes, "Please just tell me why you hate him." He ran a finger over my check, wiping the wetness away. "Please Paul, he's my family," I saw him flinch and frowned in confusion, "its ok if you don't like him but I don't understand why you would hate him."

"I'm sorry Bella. I promise I wont ever do that again, I don't hate him; I just lost it. Please stop crying."

"But why? Why if you don't hate him did you lose it like that?" I pleaded with him. "Is it me? Are you upset with me for bringing him here? I know he's an outsider but he's my brother Paul, I need him." I saw him flinch again and noticed he was trembling, "Please Paul, tell me what's wrong."

"I don't know Bella. I'm sorry. Please just stop crying, it hurts when you cry."

The words echoed Sam's to me and it hit me like a semi, Paul had imprinted on me, wait was that even possible, to have two soul mates? This is insane! But no, its there in his eyes, the look of loss and pain I saw in Sam when I was upset, the love and devotion always present. I hugged him to me. "It's ok Paul. It'll be ok. We just, we need to talk to Sam and to Emily and figure this out." As I hugged him I realized that while I felt the pull in the direction of Sam now he was not with me I no longer felt the sadness I had felt, even while sitting next to my mate, the heaviness in my chest was now also easing. It was Paul, my bond to Paul. It was not the same as the pull I felt to Sam but it was there. Paul and I had somehow double imprinted. Oh shit. Sam was not going to like this.

He had stilled in my arms when I spoke, "you know?"

I nodded into his chest; "we'll figure it out Paul. It will be ok. We'll talk to Sam and Emily and figure it out."

"They know. Sam for a while, we didn't want to tell you until we knew what the hell was going on. This has never happened before. Emily I told while you were talking to Rylan."

"Wait Sam knows? And he's ok with it? And Emily?"

"Yeah, well, it's made our imprint stronger I think and she has noticed the difference too and Sam's wolf accepts it instinctually. It's all so fucked up. We wanted to find out what the fuck was going on before we told the pack and you and Emily. We didn't want to fuck things up with this until we knew what was happening and why."

I stepped back and glared at him, "No more secrets. I told Sam no more secrets and you to mister, I don't want you keeping things like this from me. This whole thing with Rylan might have been avoided if we had all just known. Not that I am not glad he knows but he could have been hurt and" I could see him trembling again, "why are you shaking again?" I sighed, "Honestly; even Sam is over this. Rylan is gay, he's my best friend, my brother." The shaking got worse. "Paul?" I touched his arm and the shaking slowed.

"It's strange, it's not like with Emily. I don't know how to do this Bella."

"Just talk to me, please." I pulled his hand as I sat on the grass and he allowed me to pull him down to sit as well. "Just explain it to me."

"It's not like it was with Emily. When I looked at her the universe shifted. Suddenly she was what bound me to the earth, I had a reason to exist and it was to love her. With you it was different. I didn't meet your eyes until we were cliff jumping and then it was like being on a boat in a storm, my world tilted, shifting me off balance. I don't know. I just, I saw something in your eyes that connected to me, I saw the pain there and it was like I could recognize your soul. It was only a mild pull I ignored, until it led me to you on the cliffs when you were upset. Then when they went after that…" he took a few deep breaths to still the newly restarted trembling before continuing, "I had to stay, I knew that you need me and I needed to be there for you more than I wanted his blood. When you called me brother the final piece clicked into place and it was like," he sighed, "fuck, it was like I had finally come home or something."

I sat there and just absorbed what he had said, relieved, he hadn't imprinted on me, or he had but as a brother, not like Sam, I was still meant for Sam and he for Emily. He was my brother. Shit. It hit me what had upset him so much, why he hated Rylan. "Paul," I took his hand in mine, "Rylan is my best friend. Hell he was my only real friend before coming here. I love him very much. He is my family." I felt his hand begin to tremble lightly.

"I know, I'm sorry Bella, I…"

I interrupted him; "I love Rylan like I love Leah. They are family. Jake and the other guys too. The pack is my family now. Sam is my soul mate. I don't know what you are Paul. What the imprint means. I know that I love you. I meant it when I said you were my brother. It's not like with Rylan or Leah. You are the one I think of first when things aren't right. The only reason I called Leah tonight was that I figured you and Sam were still wolves. When Sam's mom hated me I needed you. I told you that night, when things go wrong you are the one who is there. Rylan took care of me, he led me out of the darkness, he makes me laugh, he makes me feel loved and good about myself, less damaged somehow. Only with you and Sam I don't feel less damaged, I feel whole. You are my brother Paul."

He pulled me into his lap and hugged me tightly to him, "Emily and you, that's all that matters to me Bella. Not the pack or the tribe, just the two of you."

I rested my head on his shoulder, "Sam and you, Paul. When all is said and done, much as I love them, as I know you do, the others don't matter."

We sat like that a while curled together in comfort. As the growing shadows closed around us Paul stood, carefully steadying me on my feet, "we ought to get to the bonfire."

I smiled up at him, "yeah, Sam and Em will be waiting for us." As I turned to leave though he pulled me to a stop.

"We think this happened before."

"What?"

"I didn't want you to be upset that we didn't tell you before everyone at the bonfire."

"Tell me what?"

"When I talked to Emily she told me of an old story her grandmother once told her. It fits us Bella."

"Tell me."

"Emily would tell it better, she will at the bonfire tonight, but a long time ago a stranger arrived at a tribe where she found love, her soul mate. She also found a warrior with a broken soul, her soul was broken too from before she came to them and when their eyes met their souls connected, becoming one, whole and healed together."

I reached out and squeezed his hand, "ok. So we got the whole twin thing going on, two bodies one soul. That makes sense."

"It does?"

"It's why you do and always will be closer to me than any other. Sam is my mate, the other half _to_ my soul and you are my brother, twin really, the other half _of_ my soul. This will be ok; we'll figure it all out. We can find out more about this legend and where it came from but all that really matters is we and our mates are together." He pulled me into a hug and despite the pull telling me my mate was not beside me I felt whole, safe and warm. I had Sam and Paul and nothing else really mattered. I loved Rylan and I wanted him in my life but I could no more survive without Paul then I could without Sam. I needed them just to be able to breathe. I pulled a little away from him as his arms loosened, "Come on, let's go find our mates. I think yours was bringing smores up."

I could see his wolfish grin even in the now dark yard, "yum, lets go."

I laughed and let him lead me to the path for the cliffs.

SAM POV

I tracked Jake to a small clearing deep in the woods; he just sat there in his human form, head bent into his hands, elbows resting on his knees.

I phased and sat near him.

"I don't know why this bothers me so much. I barely know her anymore. I mean sure we're friends but not close."

"You loved her. We all saw how much you wanted her to be it for you when we learned she was coming."

"I get that she wasn't, I can stand that she wasn't, but I should have been next to you. I was her only friend here before. We've known each other since infancy."

"Rylan was the moon shining in the dark, a small light to guide her through the otherwise empty blackness that would consume her."

"You sound like a goddamn ancient wise woman!"

Sam sighed, "He kept her safe Jake, he kept her going until she came to us. Kept her safe until we were able to."

"And Paul? Or Jared? Hell even Leah!"

"Yes the others feel the bond of my imprint and all care for her. Jared loves her more because of the way she has bonded with Kim. Emily and Leah had each other, Kim was their friend yes, Emily more than Leah, but it is Bella she has really connected with. Who has made being here, forever, better for her. Leah, feels the pack bond differently with all the imprints, she has with both Emily and Kim. This time it is stronger because of Paul's imprint. Her connection is stronger through the pact because of this dual imprint."

Jake growled, "Why PAUL!"

"You and Paul might not be the closest of brothers but would you deny him what little good he finds, what happiness?"

"He has Emily!"

"Yes but his life has not been easy Jake." When I saw him about to speak I cut him off, "None of our lives have been easy but we have all seen in his head Jake. The only light in it was the brief and dim love of his mother until he became a wolf and found Emily. Even there he found suffering before happiness. This bond with Bella it brings him peace. You have to have felt it Jake, in his mind, while we run. He is finally at peace within himself, finally able to embrace the happiness Emily provides him. She is his life and Bella the healer of his soul."

Jake snorted, "Wise and powerful alpha, tell me does it come with the job or are you just this wise woman wanna be naturally?" His voice was teasing and I knew that while the pain was inside him, the anger had faded.

"Want to take over and find out?"

He snorted again, "Not on your life. You changed first this is your deal."

I couldn't help but sigh, "Alpha is your blood right Jake."

"Maybe, but you are the one made to lead Sam. I can't, we both know I am not ready. I'm still in high school. I can't handle this shit, not like you do, I just want to run patrols and kill some vamps, be as normal a teenage werewolf can be."

"There will come a day you are ready."

"Not for a long time though Sam. I just can't do it, I don't want to."

"You don't have to Jake. When you are ready, when the wolf is ready, he will take his place."

"Do you mind?"

I frowned over at my brother in confusion "mind?"

"That I don't step up."

"It is a great responsibility, the pack has grown around me so it was not so over whelming. I lead because it was my destiny to do so until you are ready. When you are ready you will step up, until then, I will watch over our pack the best I am able."

"But do you want to?" Jake persisted.

"I never really thought about wanting it or not Jake. It was just something I accepted. The responsibility can be heavy but I do not hate nor resent it."

"What if I never take it?"

"The wolf in you will eventually."

"And if he is content to follow you?"

Sam sighed, "then I will lead our pack until he isn't."

"What if…"

"Jake, the future is never certain. I will lead until you take your place or until I fall. Now, though, there are other matters besides leading that require our attention."

"I loved her since I was five Sam. If all I can be is her friend I will be. This feeling will fade."

"I hope you find yours soon Jake."

"Maybe I'm just not ready yet Sam. Jared was when he looked over at Kim. Hell I think he was born ready to take care of her. Emily came when Paul needed her. Bella came when you needed her and when you could take care of her, before the pack needed you to much for you to take care of her, to focus on her."

"Starting to sound like an old wise woman yourself Jake."

He rolled his eyes "Must be the alpha blood."

We both laughed and stood from the ground, "you should try talking to her Jake."

"She has enough to deal with. Without my temper tantrum."

"Just tell her you miss her. Spend some time with her. Jared Paul and I will be onsite all next week. Take some time and just be Jake and Bella. With Rylan gone she will need a friend."

Jake smiled at his brother, "yeah, thanks Sam."

"Race you back?"

He smirked at me and took a couple running steps before exploding into the wolf. I grinned watching him and followed. Jake was waiting through the tree line. He let me pass him a few strides before really joining the race. He still beat me by a length and a half. He'd always been fastest of us guys, though Leah could run circles around all of us.

_Yeah Leah always has been fast._ Jake's returning thought rang in my head.

_Bella and Paul are here already. Let's find some clothes before he eats all the damn smores._

We both ran off to find shorts amongst the hiding spots in the trees. Bella was sitting beside Emily as Paul roasted them marshmallows on a stick with six roasting spears, two marshmallows on each spoke.

I walked over and pulled Bella up, sitting back with her in my lap and stealing two of my brother's just made smores.

Paul growled shoving his remaining two in his mouth and turning to make more. Bella and Emily laughing at us. Kim came over to sit on Bella's other side while Jared roasted with Paul. I saw Jake sitting over with Embry and Quil, his face relaxed in laughter. The brief flare of anger fully faded into nothing, the quickness of his acceptance did not surprise me. Jake truly was a good soul; wanting nothing more than for those he cared about to be happy. I hoped he would find his mate, but perhaps he was right. When he was ready, when he needed her, she would come.

Jared and Paul finished their last batch, each handing two over to me. We devoured the four snuggling our mates in our laps as the elders called our attention and began the legends.

When the last was told and Billy asked Emily to speak I could feel the confusion of the pack. "Once, long ago, a stranger came to one of the tribes, this stranger brought love and healing to the tribe as Bella has brought love and healing to the pack. She is our sister, Sam's mate and the spirit-bonded sister of my mate. We do not know the significance of this tale, why the woman came to the tribe, not like we know why the wolf exists to protect our people. We know only that she came to them as Bella has come to us, an outsider but one with us. This is the story of the spirit-healer, the legend that Bella has brought to life with us." As she wove her story I could feel the eyes of the elders and the pack on the four of us, Emily, Paul, Bella and I.

They sat in silence after. None knowing what to say, how to respond, most not having known about the imprint until Emily had spoken from Paul's lap.

"The tribe has spoken, even before such knowledge as Emily has brought to us," Billy's voice rang out in the silence, "We come here tonight to recognize this sister of the tribe and welcome her. She is our Luna so long as her mate is Alpha. She is forever a member of the pack, a sister of the Quileute people."

I watched as Bella stared wide-eyed at Billy, glancing once to her beaming father. The wise woman rose and came to us with a bowl of ash in her hand.

"Kneel Bella, sister of the protectors, mate of our chief." Bella stood from my lap and kneeled sat up on her knees while Lore began to chant. She dipped a brush in the soot and traced the line of my mate's forehead and down her nose to her chin. She then drew a line from cheekbone to cheekbone across the bridge of her nose. On one side she traced a paw print on the other a feather. "You are the sister of this pack and this tribe. Loved and protected always. You and your children will be honored as one of us, recorded in our stories, a pale-face with a Quileute spirit; you are born this night a woman of the people. Even when your spirit passes, the spirits of our ancestors will guide and protect you as you join them in the other realm." Her voice was slightly raspy, like old parchment, her skin wrinkled with age, though her eyes were bright with life and knowledge. Lore had been old when I was yet a boy.

She chanted more words as Billy spoke again, "This night we welcome you to our people and recognize you as pack, a guardian of the protectors of our people. These your sisters, members of the tribes in their own rights are recognized as you are to be the guardians of the protectors of our people. We honor all of you as sisters to the tribe and members of the pack." The wise woman drew a paw on Kim's collarbone and just beside the scar on Emily's face, near her temple.

"Come see me soon child. There is much to talk about." I heard Lore whisper to my mate as she placed a kiss on her forehead, before moving to kiss Emily and Kim as well. In a much louder voice she spoke again, "Welcome sisters of the tribe." She stepped back and tossed the remaining ash into the fire. Whatever else she had with the ash made the fire rise up and flicker blue green for a moment.

She sat again near Billy as he spoke again. "Each of the pack bears the mark of the pack. So to shall each of you wear this mark in recognition of your place." Sue rose to her feet and walked over to us, our mates all still kneeling from where Lore had motioned them to kneel.

She pulled out a box and within drew out three silver chairs, each bearing a pendant with the symbol of our tattoo. She clipped each around their necks. "Welcome sisters of the tribe to your family." Sue rested her hand on the cheek of each girl for a moment after clipping the necklace. Then stepped back to sit beside Billy.

"Much like a niece you are to me Bella. I welcome you with open arms as does the tribe. You my pale-face are Quileute in spirit and recognized now as our sister alongside those sisters of the pack who had yet to be welcomed. Tonight we also recognize the match of your soul with Sam, the Alpha of our Protectors. We give you our congratulations and our acceptance to your request for marking. The official ceremony will take place upon the day of your wedding though as of today this tribe recognizes in you the one true mate of our Alpha."

"Rise sisters of the tribe and rejoice with us and the spirits that our family has grown and our people will prosper." Old Quil's voice rang out and the three girls stood, turning immediately to us. I saw my brothers rise as one on either side of me as we reached for and pulled our mates to our arms.


	27. Chapter 27

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can. **

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

**I am so sorry for the wait. I am still having a bit of trouble getting back into the story. I got my rough outline written again and I think that has helped. Thanks for all the reviews; they really helped the most.**

The night after the bonfire, Sam and I didn't sleep much. The next day was spent lounging around the house together. As all was quiet on the pack front so it was a rare quiet day of relaxing with just Sam. When he went back to work on site the next day I decided to have a girls day with Kim, Leah and Emily. It had been to long since we had just had girl time.

We decided to head into Port Angeles for the day. We decided to start with brunch and then shop for a bit before going to see a movie and coming back to have dinner at the diner.

It was rare the wolves had to fend for themselves and during brunch we bet on who they would all find food from, it was agreed on that they would likely hit up the diner instead of ordering in so it was decided that when we got back that was where we would go as well. We wandered around and went to a couple different shops before the movie started. We couldn't pick which one to watch so agreed on a double feature. We left the theater laughing. On the way back we passed a pet store and had to go it. I had always wanted a pet, a puppy or a kitten to cuddle. We played with the puppies a bit before going to look at the cats. We almost peed ourselves laughing when they all started to hiss and spit at Leah. We sang Shania Twain all the way back to Forks.

We were still laughing when we got out of the car and Leah went stiff, growling lowly.

"Hurry, go inside." She told us, shaking slightly.

"Leah?" I stepped nearer her but she wasn't looking at us. I immediately looked where she was gazing.

There was a family standing in the lot, all of them very beautiful and very pale. Vampires. One, a boy about my age with bronze colored hair, looked very angry and was standing further back than the others. A woman looking concerned from him to us and then to the tall blond one, Dr. Cullen, I had met him once in the ER not long after I'd moved here.

The woman followed the boy into a car. It was then the big one turned from Leah and looked at me. He seemed to freeze and then step closer. The most beautiful blonde woman I had ever seen grabbed his arm. Dr. Cullen paused getting in the car the other two had already disappeared in.

"Emmitt." The blonde tugged his arm but still he stared at me.

"Emmitt, no. Please. I can't see." The tiny and beautiful short-haired one said from his other side, where she stood with a tall, kind of scary looking blond guy.

He ignored her too and stepped closer to us, his gaze never leaving me. Leah growled in warning again but he ignored her, watching me, "Katherine?"

I shifted away from his gaze, "Leah?"

She shook her head at me, eyes never leaving the frighteningly large vampire, slowly coming closer to us, his gaze focused on me.

"Emmitt." Dr Cullen spoke and I saw the blonde girl pull his arm again as the other couple got in the second car.

Emily and Kim had already gone; I knew the guys were inside, I could see Sam's truck and Embry's car in the lot.

"Katherine?" The vampire stepped closer again. There was still half a lot between us.

I heard the door slam open and a second later could feel the heat of Sam at my back.

Sam spoke only one word, his tone hard and commanding, "Leave."

The blonde woman sneered at him, "This is neutral territory. We have every right to be here."

The big one they called Emmitt finally broke the intense stare and glanced at the others before backing away, staying just in front and to the side of the blonde.

"Rosalie, Emmitt, get in the car." Dr Cullen spoke, his calm voice holding authority. He nodded at Sam as they followed his order.

I felt Sam's hand on my waist and we turned and went inside. The whole thing had happened in only seconds.

"Are you alright?" Sam asked holding a chair out for me.

"Fine. Leah?"

She nodded, "Fucking leeches, almost ruined my appetite."

I laughed and felt the tension in the wolves faded another notch, "Not likely."

She grinned, "Nah, you're right, I'm starved."

"Why was he calling you Katherine? Have you met them before?" Jared asked his arm protectively around Kim while she picked at his plate.

I shook my head, "Never seen him before. I met Dr. Cullen once at the hospital a while back."

I felt Sam and Paul stiffen on either side of me.

"Do not let him near you again." Paul demanded, "Ask for someone else."

"Please Bella. If you ever need a doctor, see someone else." Sam added soothing the annoyance I felt at Paul's command. I knew they were both just worried about me.

I nodded, "At the time I didn't know vampires and werewolves existed. I haven't been in emergency since, which is sort of unusual since I'm so clumsy but I promise if there is anyone else there I will ask for them."

"Thank you." Sam kissed my temple, moving his plate closer to me to pick at his fries until Sue had a chance to come over and take our orders. All the wolves ordered another meal and the small encounter with the Cullen family was forgotten in the typical rowdy pack meal time as people talked over each other and ate enough to feed at least three or four times the number there were of us.

When we finally left, the bill, typical of Sue was at a much-reduced cost. We all hugged her as we left and headed to Paul and Emily's place to watch a movie, well all of us but Seth and Leah who were set to run patrol and Brady and Collin who were already in trouble at home and had summer school the next day.

It was late when we got home. I walked a head of him a little and turned, taking my shirt off before winking at him and going down the hall, shedding my clothes as I went. I heard a soft growl from Sam as he followed behind me. I got all the way to the bedroom and was just about to reach the bathroom when he reached out and pulled me to him.

The heat of his bare skin seeping into my back and the low sound of his voice against my ear made me shudder in anticipation. "We should get you properly dirty before you shower love."

"Hmm," I agreed, turning in his arms. "What would you suggest?"

The answering grin that spread across his face sent a flood of warmth through my center. When his nose caught the proof of my desire for him he growled and pulled me ever closer to him, dropping his head to meet my lips in a hungry kiss.

Slowly he bent me back gently, his arm supporting my weight while he dropped his head to my breast, his tongue flicking over the hardened peak of my left breast. He placed a close-mouthed kiss on it before switching the arm around my back and shifting me so his mouth could reach my right nipple. Instead of teasing it as he had the other he sucked it into the heat of his mouth before gently nipping it with his teeth and laving the sting with his tongue. I tugged his head back up to mine and as I kissed him, he shifted again, not breaking the kiss he lifted me in his arms, his hands around my thighs, wrapping them around him and slipping into me. Four steps and I felt the edge of the bureau under my ass. I leaned back, bracing myself with one hand as he slid slowly in and out of me. To slowly, I needed more.

"Sam," his name came out a plea, and the next a sigh, "Sam" as he increased his speed it turned into a cry, "Sam" finally as his hand slipped between us and he circled my clit with one hot finger, I screamed hi name, "Sam!"

He kissed me deeply as he still moved within me, building me up again. He pulled me to him and kissed the spot where my neck met my shoulders, sucking gently on the skin. I ran my hands over his broad shoulders, loving the feel of him in me, around me. I would never get enough of him. I bit his shoulder and ran my nails over his back. He growled and lifted me, dropping us to the floor, the contrast of the cool wood on my back and the heat of his body over mine made me shiver. I felt him still and bucked up into him. Sam just leaned down and kissed me sweetly and then with bruising intensity. I kissed him back, pulling him closer to my body, though there was not a millimeter between us. After a second he pulled up a little. I groaned in protest as his weight lifted gently off me. Sam just grinned, his hand running down my thigh and hooking around my knee, bending it and lifting it forward until it was at his shoulder. Then he began to move. This position had him at a new angle, hitting a spot that made me pant as he pistoned in and out of me. I couldn't think straight, and began to see spots, my nails dug into his skin as I wailed, the intensity of the orgasm making my whole body shake. Sam came with a feral growl, which made my body clench tighter in response. When he collapsed against me I wrapped my arms and legs around him as tightly as I could in my liquid state, holding his heat to me.

I made a sound of protest when he did shift and he chuckled, "I'll crush you love."

I shook my head and snuggled into him making him laugh again. "Come on, I'll wash your hair."

I tilted my head in thought before nodding and letting go of my hold on him, I loved having my hair washed; it was the most relaxing thing ever. He leaned in and kissed me before getting up, hauling me up and then into his arms at the same time. He then deposited me on the counter to turn on the shower.

After we showered we crawled into bed naked and I pulled up the thin sheet before wrapping myself around him, he held me tightly and kissed my forehead murmuring his love for me before falling asleep, or at least I thought he did, I was asleep so fast I wasn't sure if he'd drifted off yet.

The next morning I thought about going to hang out with Jake but he had to take Billy into town for something. Instead I decided to head out to see the old wise woman, Lore. She had told me to visit her the other night at the bonfire and today was as good a day as any. She seemed like she would be a very interesting woman to talk to and I was looking forward to the visit. I wasn't sure what she could want to speak with me for but I still thought it would be an interesting morning. I got directions from Sue when I stopped at the diner to grab coffee. Leah was working so I stayed to chat for a minute before driving to the other end of the reservation. Where Sue had told me Lore lived, in a house that had been in hers for as long as Sue could remember.

Lore had a small cottage in the woods, surrounded by a large herb and vegetable garden. It looked a little run down from the outside and I wondered if Sam and the boys would come over and do some repairs for her, it didn't look like she could afford to hire anyone. The inside was just as worn as the outside though it was very neat and tidy.

I wondered briefly how old she could be as I watched her putter about making tea before sitting across from me, her ageless face watching me intently. She had set out three cups.

"Are you expecting company? I can come back another time?" I asked as she poured the fragrant tea.

"The company will be coming for you child."

"For me?"

"First I must tell you of my husband. Sit quiet and listen." When I nodded and sipped the tea quietly she continued. "My husband died ten years ago. He was a good man, part Makah and part Klallam. From his father he heard a legend told to him by his mother who was told by her mother who carried the story from her father and upward through the generations from the first boy who was told by his mother who lived through the time and the grandmother of the woman whose legend it is that carries her memory." I sat patiently listening to her, wondering if it was this same story that Emily had shared. Did the old wise woman know more of it? Perhaps of what became of the pale-face and her mate and bonded-brother. Why had she not spoken at the bonfire?

"Today a guest will come. He came to my husband once and before he died my husband told me of what he spoke. He said a very special girl was kept safe near us and on a day when the girl would walk among us he would come to share her story but first my husband was to share the story of his ancestors passed down. My husband said I would know this woman when she came for she was very special and I was to share his ancestor's story with her. This is not a story for the wolves for it is not their history, they have their own and now you create a new history, together, but it is important not to forget what has been. There are lessons in the past and much knowledge of the present."

I nodded to show her I was following, listening intently to her words, though the way she spoke was odd, I could feel the wisdom in her voice. This was a woman you listened to when she spoke because what she spoke could change lives if the listener paid attention. I paid attention and the words she spoke and the guest who came for me to finish the tale spun my world on its axis. It didn't change my life but stole it away and handed me a new one, full of magic and fear.

When I climbed into my truck, I sat almost numb as all the words spoken to me tried to fit into my mind. One question running through my head; who was I?

It was all too much. I needed Sam and Paul. Sam and Paul, there was another twist, another thing to fear. I felt my chest tighten; it was getting hard to breathe. Sam. I had to get to Sam. I knew he was not in danger, that he was fine, rationally I knew that, but my heart couldn't seem to comprehend it. All I could think now was that I couldn't loose Sam. I had to get to Sam.


	28. Chapter 28

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can. **

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

"Sam!" The wolves had heard the truck rumbling into the drive. Now they went running out of the house.

"Bella?"

I flung myself into his arms sobbing. I clung to him, legs around his trim waist, arms clinging to his shoulder with my face buried in the russet skin of his neck, breathing in his forest after a storm scent. Assuring myself he was still here. "Baby-girl, tell me what's wrong." He soothed me, his large hand running up and down my spine as he held me to him.

"Bella?" I could hear the worry in Paul's voice. I clung harder to my mate. I felt his hand touch my back and I couldn't help the involuntary flinch.

I let my legs drop and spun around in Sam's arms, "Get away from us." I stepped forward and pushed into his chest, ""just stay away from us."

Paul looked shocked, I felt the pain in my own chest before I saw it mirrored in his. I couldn't stand it, I turned and wrapped my arms around Sam's waist and clung to him. His arms tightened around me.

I could hear Jared talking to Paul, pulling him away. Sam's chest vibrated as he spoke to them, "Jared, take Paul to Emily. Jake, run a patrol by Forks, check on the chief. The rest of you head home."

I felt him shift and then he was carrying me bridal style into the cabin. I buried my face in his neck again. Trying to stop the tears, assuring myself Sam was here, he was alive and well. That it was only a story, an old legend, it was not a prophesy for my life, no matter the similarities. Sam was here, with me, he would always be here with me, Sam would not leave me, he couldn't, Sam could not die. I tried to calm my breathing but the pain I knew was Paul cut through me, it was a vice making it impossible to breathe.

Sam sat on the couch, holding me in his lap, "Please, baby-girl, tell me what happened. Let me take care of you. I'll make it better."

Make it better? How could he make it better? Loosing him would never be ok. I would never be ok, not without Sam. How could I loose him, and I had only really just found him, he might have found me but I had hidden away from him, how could I have hidden away from him, how could I have missed that time, all that time I could have had him, could have loved him and I had pushed him away, stupid, stupid Bella. I had hurt him, how could I have hurt Sam? He deserved to be loved, he deserved better.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry Sam. All that time," I tried to gulp air into my lungs, "all that time I could have, should have been with you. I was too stubborn, to scared and I fought it and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I hurt you. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry." My words were broken with continued sobs and gasps for air.

"Shhh, baby-girl. It's ok. You're here now. Everything is going to be fine. I'm here with you. The past doesn't matter." He sat with me, holding me until I fell asleep in his arms.

When I woke I found myself tucked into our bed, Sam sleeping next to me, his arm wrapped securely around my waist.

I slipped from the bed and went into the bathroom to shower. My chest still hurt. When I closed my eyes I could see the pain in Paul's brown eyes. Eyes so dark brown they are almost black, so deep with pain and love they reach into your very soul to see the secrets hidden there. Paul, what had I done to you? How could I hurt you, my brother but how can I not. You would let him die. I can't lose him.

I padded quietly into the living room. I was not entirely surprised to hear snoring coming from the guest room, though my chest told me it was not Paul, Jared most likely. He was always looking after Sam and I.

I was however very surprised to find Leah sitting on my couch drinking a glass of whiskey and staring out the glass back doors into the night darkened woods beyond.

"What happened Bella?" her voice was barely more than a whisper.

I went and sat next to her and she turned to face me, handing me the glass. I choked down a sip and then another, letting the burn warm my chilled soul.

"A vampire recognized me today." She frowned at me. "He recognized me from 1932." I drained her glass and handed it back to her. "Apparently I am a dead ringer for my mother. Who is not really my mother. I always thought I looked like Charlie but Charlie's not really my father either. Lore told me. She also told me the legend, the real legend that Emily only knows part of. But she knows, she knows because she knew me before." My voice cracked as I spoke.

Leah took the bottle from the coffee table and poured a large amount of whiskey into the glass. She emptied half of it in one go before handing it over to me to take another sip.

"The legend?" she asked, we were both still whispering.

"Sam dies." I couldn't help the tears that fell. "The Sam in the story, the wise man, he dies. And Paul lets him. He leaves him to die Leah. He takes her away and leaves Sam to die alone." She took the glass from me and drained it. When she set it on the table she wrapped an arm around me.

"Legends, they aren't prophecies Bella. They tell us the history; they show us what is possible, not what will be. They can also be warnings, things for us to remember. History does not always repeat itself. "

I leaned my head on her shoulder and let the tears fall silently.

After a few moments she spoke again, "Tell me the legend Bella."

"Why are you a wolf?" I asked instead.

She pulled back and looked down at me in question, "my ancestors were wolves. It is passed down through the generations."

"Passed down from father to son. You are the first and only female. So why are you a wolf?"

She hesitated and I could see something akin to pain in her eyes, "I don't know. Just a freak I guess."

I sniffled and shook my head, "You aren't a freak Leah. I am."

"Bella."

I wiped at the tears and nodded to the glass she had set on the table. She poured another glass and handed it to me. I choked down two good-sized sips and handed her the remains. She downed it in one.

"Let's leave Sam and Jared to sleep. Go for a walk." I said standing.

"Jake." She told me, standing as well. I frowned back at her in confusion, "Jake's here. Jared is with Paul."

I nodded and motioned to the back door, either way Sam was safe, they would protect him, they wouldn't leave him alone to die. I had to remind myself that Paul wouldn't either. I walked to the door, pulling my jacket from the hook as we passed. We walked out into the woods a ways, listening to the sounds of the night. We were deep in the dark before she spoke again.

"Where are we going?"

"The cliffs."

"Why?" She sounded wary, like I might be planning on jumping or something.

I sighed, "Paul will find me there."

She didn't say anything else to that but I knew it made her feel better that I was going to see Paul. To undo what I had done.

"Leah?"

"Yeah, Bella?"

"I'm not human." I spoke barely above a whisper but I knew she heard, not only because I knew she had wolf hearing but because of the way her steps faltered. "Half, actually."

"Bella?"

"It's what Lore told me. I'm not Charlie and Renee's."

"They adopted?" I could hear the frown in her voice, "I didn't know."

I shook my head. We had come through the trees onto the beach so I stopped and looked up at the stars, "They didn't. I'm not Isabella Swan. They're daughter died. I replaced her."

"Bella?" I turned to face her, she was frowning at me, and even in the dark I could see the concern in her eyes.

I bit back more tears, "they had a baby girl but she died. I was in danger so to protect me she was replaced with me. To keep me safe. Away from the world I was born in. Just like her. Just like the girl in the story."

"What are you talking about Bella?" Both of our voices had dropped to whispers again, though there was no one around but the shadows.

"Lore, she says, I'm a Halfling. That she was told to watch over me, to protect me. To make sure my magic stayed buried."

"What magic Bella?"

I shrugged, "I don't know." I sniffled and wiped at the tears that had spilled. "I just, all I could think, was he's going to die. That he died and she was alone. I can't be alone Leah. I can't lose Sam."

She pulled me into her arms and hugged me tightly; her voice came out strong, though it was barely more than a whisper, "you will not lose him."

I could feel her heat seeping into me but I was cold on the inside. I wondered if I'd ever be warm again.

"We should go. Paul's at the cliff's now."

"How do you know?" she asked pulling a little away from me.

I shook my head, "I don't know." I shrugged, "I just know."

She nodded and we began walking to the cliffs. When we reached the edge of the trees Paul stood and turned around. I walked out to him.

Leah remained in the trees, "I'll let Sam know, if we wakes up, that you're… here, with Paul." I knew the hesitation there. She was going to say that she'd tell him I was ok, but we both knew I wasn't.

I walked straight to Paul and wrapped my arms around his waist. He held me to him and I could feel the pressure on my lungs finally easing.

"I love you brother." I felt him relax and his head dropped to rest his cheek against the top of my head.

"I love you, little sister." He whispered back. I don't know how long we stood like that before pulling away. He took my hand and we sat side-by-side leaning against the log and looking out at the dark horizon.

I could feel the tears falling again, "I was born in another realm." I sighed, a sound half way between a laugh and cry, "Sounds like something out of a fantasy novel, or maybe a horror." My voice cracked and he squeezed my hand.

"So are werewolves." I could hear the wry humor in his voice.

"Yeah." I agreed. "I was born to an elf or fairie, depending on the story told about them and the land across the veil where they exist. I'm what they call a Halfling. Part them, part human. My mother, her name was Katherine. She was walking in the woods in 1932 and my father saw her. He seduced her. Took her away, across the veil, where she gave birth to me, where she was killed." I paused to take a breath. "My father searched for a way to protect me. The only way was to hide me. So he searched for a place I'd be safe. A place where I could be protected from the evil that hunted me. He was led here to Lore and her husband. He brought me to them and bade them to watch over and protect me by keeping my magic concealed. Nowhere on the reservation was there a place for me but in Forks I'd be near enough to have some protection from the tribe; it was there he found Isabella. He could see the light in her, fading, and he knew, he knew she would die. So when Charlie and Renee put her down and went to sleep. He went to her room and placed me beside her. He glamoured my ears to be less pointed and my eyes not glow so I looked more like her, more human. Then he picked her up and carried her across the veil. She died, as she was meant to, the very next night."

He took his hand from mine and wrapped it around my shoulder holding me into his warmth.

"I don't even have a name."

"You are my sister. Soon you will be Sam's wife. You are Bella our pale-face Quileute spirited Luna, your name is mine and it is his."

"I'm not even human."

He laughed wryly, "Neither are we."

"The legend. The one Emily told you. It's wrong." I took in a deep wavering breath. "Or it's not compete."

"Ok." I could hear the caution in his whispered voice. "Is it why…" he could not voice the wrong I had done to him, pushing him away, the hurt still fresh in his soul.

I took another breath to calm myself and center my thoughts, "A long time ago, a girl, a Halfling, crossed the veil, hiding from ones who hurt her. She came across a people here, who lived in peace with the land, and accepted her amongst them. Among them she found a man, and loved this man. A great wise man, he saw she was not as she seemed, he saw through the changes she magicked to hide away her heritage. He told her she was safe with them and that he would take care of her. Very quickly he grew to love her."

In my head I could hear the dry aged tones of Lore as she had wove the tale for me only hours ago.

"Some time later a group of warriors returned. They were the protectors and hunters of their people. Among them the girl saw a warrior who stood apart from the others, one of them and yet different from them, darker. When his eyes met hers they're spirits reached out and united, a piece of each of them bonding to the other to heal the fractures, becoming one. The warrior went to his wife and she saw in his eyes the absence of the pain that had always haunted their depths. The wise man saw a change in his love as well. Seeing this same change in his brother he believed them soul mates. She told him they were not and he believed her, their love was very strong. The warrior became her protector, her brother and his wife, her sister. Much time passed and they were happy. Then a great darkness came forth, chasing the girl." I closed my eyes, taking a moment to center myself.

"The warrior fought and died and so the girl died, her spirit tied to his. I know Bella. I also know the theory that when an imprint dies the wolf follows."

I shook my head, "no. Well, yes but no." I swiped the tears on my left cheek. "The wise man dies. The warrior protects the girl, taking her away and leaving the wise man to be killed. He sends the women away with his brother where they will be safe while he returns and fights. Many months passed and the girl gave birth to a daughter. The daughter, though the child of the girl and her wise man, held the eyes of her warrior, a mark of their shared spirit. The girl left the child with the warrior's wife who would raise her as her own. She left to protect her child from the evil that hunted her and killed her soul mate. She left to reunite her soul with that of the man she loved and could not live without. Not knowing the bond between her spirit and the warrior tied their very lives together. The girl threw herself from the cliff and feeling his spirit torn in two, he faltered and fell, clutching to his chest, the sword of his enemy driving through him, even as his heart had ceased to beat. When the child grew to a woman, there was a peace between many villages. They travelled a long way to celebrate the peace. In this new place the child, no longer a child fell in love. The tie of her mother and the warrior passing through her to her daughter, and from mother to daughter for many generations, until the call of the protector brought forth the magic within."

"Leah." The word was little more than a whisper on an exhale.

"The magic of her mothers ancestors mixed with that her fathers. The call for the protector in his blood, within her, called forth the blood of her mothers ancestors and she became a wolf."

"So Leah is related to you? To the girl in the legend? Wait Leah's from another world? I knew she was off."

I laughed, biting back more tears, "Leah's great great however many greats grandmother was from across the veil. The blood would be pretty watered down by now. It's the magic that gets passed down, that never really weakens.."

"How do you know all this?"

"Lore." I finally turned to face him, "It's a legend passed down in Lore's dead husband's family, for generations."

"Why?"

"When her husband died, the warriors wife took the child and her own sons to live with her brother in the village she had grown up in. As her sister had asked she raised the child as her own, never telling her of her origins. Until one day a woman appeared to her and her son, a woman who looked very much like the fallen girl. She thanked them for the care of her granddaughter and the love the warrior's wife had had for her daughter. She asked that her daughter not be forgotten, while it was safest that her granddaughter never know her true mother, the woman did not want her to be forgotten in this world. The son, her eldest, promised the woman to share the story with his children and grandchildren that they might to tell the story and her daughter, his aunt, not be forgotten."

"How did she know you were, like the girl?"

"She didn't," my throat felt dry and still I could more than a whisper, "my father told me. He said he'd sent me here and watched over me. That he'd sent me here to be near the distant son of a warrior that had linked his sister's spirit to this world. I asked him what he meant and he said that from her husband Lore held the knowledge of my ancestors but that time passed different in the veil and while one generation might separate us from the past, many separated the others, time is fluid there and an hour might be a decade or only a minute."

"So your father's sister was the Halfling?"

"Half-sister. She was born when my grandmother had a brief love affair with a human man. My father came a few years a result of her marriage to one of her own kind." I rolled my eyes, "like mother like son huh, falling for the human girl. Like aunt like niece too I suppose, since I'm practically reliving her life. I can't loose Sam Paul. I can't survive without him."

"Were they wolves? Bella you forget the key point. Sam and I are wolves; we wont have to run because we can protect you. So can Leah, you're great great whatever cousin. Fuck Jake is going to hit the fan."

"Jake?"

"Shit. Sorry sis. Not something you need to deal with right now."

"Please Paul, no secrets."

He sighed, unwilling to deny me something so simple, "Jake's just having a rough time adjusting is all."

"What do you mean?" What could be wrong with Jake? Why didn't I know he was hurting? I had been neglecting my friend for to long. I had been to wrapped up in myself, if I had not even noticed Jake was hurting.

"He fell in love with you when he was four Bella. You came back and all he could think about was imprinting on you. He was disappointed when he didn't, even took Sam imprinting on you really well. Then you and I merge our spirits causing a brother imprint effect. It was rough for him, another piece of you being supernaturally hijacked from his affection.

I hit the fucking wall when Rylan came, for Jake it was a kick in the gut. Mate, Brother, Best Friend; didn't leave much room for Jake and then Jared went against him on the issue of you and Rylan and Sam sided with him; Jake felt pushed out even more."

"Shit," I leaned my head in my hands, resting my elbows on my knees. Jake was hurting because of me. Why did I keep hurting the people I loved?

"He'll be fine Bella." Paul used the arm around me to pull me back into his side.

"I'll talk to him, let him know he's still important to me, that he always will be. I mean, he was my only friend here when I was a kid, he's always been my best friend, Rylan just is now too, it's not the same thing, Jake's family."

"I think he'd like that, to spend a little time with you, without Sam and I or the rest of the pack stealing your attention."

"How do I explain all this to them?"

"Wolfy mind-meld remember?" he laughed softly, "You just did. They'll have it out of my head minutes after we get back."

"I thought Jared was with you?"

"He was. I needed to be alone. Didn't want to leave Em though since the pain from you made me worry about her more but I felt like I needed to come here, like I did that first time I found you here. Jared agreed to stay at the house. Kim's with them too."

"Poor Emily. She must be so worried about you and upset with me."

"She's sad for me but she knew I'd be fine once we worked it out. She is worried about you. We were all worried about you."

"I keep hurting you, you and Sam both, I'm a terrible imprint."

"We are all just trying to live Bella. Trying to live with the past, not just ours but our ancestors, and with everything that is happening now, both to us and around us. We're just trying to live and none of us are coming out of it unscathed. Sometimes we hurt each other but we're always there for each other. We always make it right again and it all just makes us stronger, makes the bonds that much tighter. I am not a bad man because I did bad things, fucking and fighting my way through the pain of the past. I am not a bad wolf because I lost my temper and phased near Emily. You are not a bad imprint because you let your pain and fear lash out at us. Life is not easy, it is hard and painful but its good to and we have each other."

"How'd you get so wise?"

"A pale-face came to the reservation, the soul-mate of my brother, and she healed my spirit. She taught me that the past is a part of us but does not define us."

"I can't lose Sam."

"You wont."

"I can't lose you."

"You wont."

"This evil thing…"

"We'll face it together, as a pack, just like any other threat."

"I brought it here."

"You brought you here and we cannot be without you, whatever the challenge we will meet it, we will not lose you."

"I'm not…"

"You are worth everything."

We sat in silence watching the sun come up over the mountains. Until the pink had left the sky a clear, bright blue and the howl of a wolf was heard in the distance.

"Jared." Paul identified the howl.

"Emily must be wondering where you are."

"Come on, let's walk back, she'll have cooked up breakfast."

I laughed, the wolves and their food, it was a love only an imprint could hope to equal. "I should go home, Sam will be worried."

"Leah will have told him you were with me, I'm sure he'll already be there waiting."

Another cry went up into the sky.

"That's Sam." We said at the same time. Even I could identify my mate's howl, though the others all sounded the same to me.

"They're calling you." It wasn't a question but I saw him nod, "Go. I'll be fine walking from here."

"Go straight to mine, through those trees. It will take five minutes." He took my hand and squeezed it before stopping. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked through the trees. A minute later, I heard another howl rise up and saw Paul run by my peripheral vision a blur of silver.

I walked to his house and as soon as Kim saw me in the window she and Emily were rushing out. Emily pulled me into her arms first.

"Are you alright Bella?"

I nodded pulling away, "I'm sorry Emily." She frowned at me so I clarified, "For hurting Paul."

"He's a tough cookie, he'll be fine. I knew you didn't really mean it. We were just so worried about you."

I hugged her, "I'm fine. So is Paul. We talked on the cliffs."

"Good." She pulled back and smiled, "Come on in and eat before the wolves get back and devour it all." All three of us laughed.

Kim pulled me into a quick hug as we passed. We ate and were sipping coffee when all the wolves came inside. Sam immediately picked me up and kissed me. When we broke apart I looked over to see Emily in Paul's arms, both of them smiling at us. I smiled back.

"So, we're cousins huh?" Leah came in swiping bacon from the platter in the kitchen.

I grinned at her, "guess so. Well, a few generations separated cousins anyways."

"Still don't get that one." Seth laughed, "but good to know you're family."

"She was already family you nit wit," Collin rolled his eyes, his thought finished by his twin.

Brady's eye roll identical to his brothers, "She's pack. We're all family."

"Right. But they're blood." Jake said dropping into a chair.

I snorted, "since when is that important? Apparently Charlie isn't blood. He's still my father. Uncle Billy and you aren't blood either and you were always family. Not to mention Paul and I aren't related either, our spirits just did some supernatural glue thing and what blood Seth, Leah and I share would be to watered down now to be more than a droplet, way closer relatives have married each other."

Jake grinned, "I love you to Bells." His voice was teasing but I could see in his eyes that what I said helped.

"Sure, sure." His smile grew wider at my use of his saying.

"Can we eat now?" Quil whined. It was all it took for all the wolves' minds to be refocused to food. Sam pulled me with him, not wanting me out of his sight, or reach. He hated it when I was gone when he woke up, even if I was only in the bathroom or kitchen. I saw Jared and Paul kept Kim and Emily close as well, though I suppose it wasn't all that unusual since we were always close to our mates but it just seemed a little more this morning.

"So what was the mind meld meeting about earlier?" I asked leaning into Sam's shoulder and smiling across the table at Emily doing the same to Paul, both our mates left arms going around us at the same moment.

"Jared was calling for Paul and I wanted to check on you."

"And the third wolf?" Kim asked nibbling on a piece of Jared's bacon.

"Me, I needed to show the pack what Bella told me."

"About this related to Leah and Seth somehow thing?" Emily asked and I nodded.

"It's a long story but I'm not really me, well not really Isabella Swan anyways, or not the one who was born to the Swan's. I was born to that Katherine girl the vamp thought was me." Still wondered how he knew my mother and just what he knew about her, my brief visit from my biological father was less than informative on my mother, or him, he even came looking like any old human as he had glamoured himself to look human. Hell I didn't know what I was supposed to look like either. "Ok like I said complicated and long story but the cliff notes and I know it sounds… well like a fairy-tale but since we're at a table with mythical beings, here goes… the legend you were told is only a small part of it, which is passed down the generations of Lore's husband's family, which he told Lore after they had married. The girl in the legend is Leah's great, several greats, great grandmother. She is not just from another land but another realm where time is kind of weird. Her brother, half brother actually since they had different fathers, well he is my biological father. I was born across the veil, in that realm where the thing that hunted my aunt also hunted me and my father brought me here to keep me safe. My mother, Katherine, had died giving birth to me. He could see that baby Isabella Swan was going to die so he replaced her with baby me."

"Like a changeling?" Kim asked, looking at me curiously. "Like in the fairy-tales. Where a human child is stolen away to live in fairy and a fairy child put in its place."

"Exactly, only she wasn't stolen away in exchange for me. She was going to die. Somehow he could see the light of her life was going to go out, that her time would come very quickly. So he took her and left me. She died in his arms the very next night. Her heart just stopped. He said it is the way of life sometimes. I don't understand. But she died and I was safe, being raised as her by parents who did not know the truth of any of it."

"So you're not human then?" Brady interrupted.

"I am a Halfling, part human and part them." I waved my hand to encompass the them, "an elf or fairie or whatever." I chuckled, "A Halfling Changeling, with a werewolf imprinted mate, two cousins who are somehow many generations younger than me, though Leah is actually older in actual age and is the only female werewolf in existence, a brother not through blood but the melding of our spirits, and a mate who is the Alpha of a pack of overgrown teenage werewolves. Jake, I think you are the only normal family member I have."

"Jake's a werewolf too Bella." Collin reminded me.

"Yeah, I know but I don't have some crazy imprint tying him to me. Next to him its Jared who is semi normal, then Quil and Embry, I don't know you two well but I think you're normal, and then you two." I said motioning between the twins.

"Why are we last?"

"Because you two are just not normal." I told them. Everyone laughed. Brady growled and tossed a croissant at me. Sam caught and ate it causing him to pout and things were back to normal, a chaotic and loud family breakfast with ten werewolves eating enough food for thirty, talking, pushing, arguing and teasing. The big pot of scrambled eggs, six pounds of bacon and twenty-four muffins we made were devoured along with all the pre-bought croissants and six packages of pop-tarts, all of it gone in under half an hour.

Sam ordered Embry, Quil and Seth to do kitchen duty. The twins went to summer school. Jared and Kim went… I didn't want to know what they went to do. Jake left to patrol with Leah, both hugging me as they left, I hugged Jake a little longer, wanting him to feel loved but knowing there was not much more I could say. Nothing bothering him would change, he could not come first or even second in my life, but I loved him and wanted him to know that. Sam and Paul went to sleep; neither had slept much, in Paul's case not at all, the night before. Emily and I hadn't either but we weren't very tired so we decided to go to the store and get everything required to feed the wolves for dinner. We waved to the boys as they finished the dishes and walked out to my truck.

I knew when he woke up Sam would have to report all this to the council that would give me all afternoon to do what I intended.

I still wanted to meet with the vampire who had known my mother. I would not risk Emily, even if they did claim to only eat animals, I would have to go after I dropped her back at home, hopefully before picking up any wolfy body guards, or prison guards since I was pretty sure they wouldn't let me go.

"So when are we going to the Cullen's?"

Emily's words shook me right out of my plotting and I flicked my eyes to her in the passenger seat, "You aren't coming."

"Oh yes I am, you are not going alone so you can either take me with you or drop me back at home and I will tell Paul and Sam and they wont let you go at all."

"Emily."

"Bella. I'm coming."

"Paul will kill me."

"Sam's already going to kill us both."

"If the blood suckers don't eat us first."

"That would break the treaty."

"Fat lot of good that will do us if we are already dinner."

"You're right, we shouldn't go, at least not without the wolves. I'm sure Sam and Paul will let you go. I mean, why wouldn't they let you sit and have a cozy chat with the large leech that called you Katherine."

"Fine, but you are staying in the car."

"I'm staying with you."

"Not a millimeter from my side then."

"Agreed, we stick together, no matter what."

"Better go there first and get groceries after. Do you know where they live?"

"No, but Paul doesn't ever go on the side road, North of Forks that loops up to the hiking trails from the back. In fact, he told me never to go hiking those trails. I'll bet if we drive up there they'll find us."

"Let's hope they aren't looking for lunch when they do." I snorted.

She nodded, "and that not only is the big one around but in a sharing mood."

"I'll settle for tossing us out, figuratively not literally, over becoming delivery meals, hell I'd settle for a few broken bones by being literally thrown out."

"Yeah me too. Of course when Paul and Sam realize we went, there will be hell to pay."

"Yeah, well you only have to worry about Paul. I'll have them both. Not only for putting myself in danger but you as well."

"Yeah, your ass is toast."

We both laughed. She turned on the radio and we sang out to the music, trying to tap down on our nerves as we searched out the one place in the area we never thought we'd be going… Cullen territory.

**IMPORTANT A/N –**

**A couple people have commented on a possible similarity to Vampire Diaries. This is not a crossover story and any similarity is coincidental. Thank you to my readers who mentioned this – one it makes me interested in checking out the show and two I don't want to accidentally infringe on anyone's copy write so please let me know if anything I write needs to be noted to their plot line – as of now I was told the only real similarity is in the name of the character Emmett confuses Bella with – Katherine is just a name I really like **

**Emmett's connection to Katherine/Bella will be revealed in the next chapter **

**I have woven a few histories of the characters together as seen in this chapter for a reason – the connections are all thought out for a purpose – One example of this being Bella's trauma damaging her soul which makes the beginning of her relationship with Sam so difficult is also what connects her to Paul. Others are revealed in this chapter and more will be revealed in the next. I sort of layered the story so while details change the major plot is following a specific outline, which is why it hit me so hard when the outline was lost. If there is any difficulty with these connections please let me know and I will try to clarify.**

**Did Bella cave to Emily to quick? Should it have been Kim with her instead of Emily? I thought about making it Kim but figured it was good bonding for them. Bella and Kim are closer in the story so far but with the imprint with Paul coming out I wanted to show a new facet to her interaction with his mate.**

**Was Bella's reaction to the story understood? **

**Did Paul forgive her to easily?**

**Was Bella's reaction to Jake's situation ok?**

**Please review and let me know what you are thinking!**


	29. Chapter 29

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can. **

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

We drove up the side road all the way to the trails and then back to the highway. Neither of us could see a driveway, we turned around and drove again, this time going slower. It was Emily that spotted the half overgrown opening. I turned down it and we drove up the long winding road. It ended at a mansion.

"Guess this is it." Emily sounded as nervous as I felt.

"Yeah." I unbuckled my seat belt. "You should wait here."

"No way." Emily shook her head. "I don't think we should go inside though. Let's try to get him outside."

I wasn't sure how that would help us with a vampire but I agreed, if anything it would keep us both from feeling trapped. "Ok, I guess this is it then." I sucked in a breath and opened the door.

"Whatever happens Bella, whatever he says, I'm here for you, all the pack will be."

I sent her a nervous smile, "After Sam and Paul stop freaking out you mean."

"Yeah, after that." She sent me a small smile back and we both climbed out.

We were on the first porch step when the door opened. "Can I help you?"

A very kind looking woman with Caramel hair and light topaz eyes stood watching us.

"Hello," I smiled nervously at her, "Is this the Cullen residence?"

She smiled at me and I felt the tension ease from me, she had a very kind look to her and I felt it hard to be afraid of her, though her pale skin and odd colored eyes told me what she was.

"It is. I'm Esme Cullen. How can I help?"

I felt Emily grab my arm, "We came to talk to the big one please." Her voice shook a little.

"Emmett?"

I shook my head, "I'm not sure." I smiled at her, "I've never met him but he thought he recognized me the other day and I just wanted to see from where."

"Of course, please come in."

Emily shook her head, "No thank you, maybe he could come out here."

She nodded smiling warmly again, "Of course." She told us as several vampires came out on the porch.

"Katherine?" The big one immediately came up to us and I stepped back trying to shield Emily as I shook my head.

"I'm sorry. My son, has confused you with someone he once knew." Doctor Cullen smiled at us, stepping over to the Caramel haired woman, Esme.

"My name is Isabella Swan, Bella, and this is my friend, my sister Emily."

"It is very nice to meet you both. I am Carlisle Cullen, my wife Esme and our children, Edward, Jasper and his wife Alice, Rosalie and her husband Emmett."

"Please, we just came to talk to Emmett." Emily took my hand nervously.

"Of course, shall the rest of us go inside?" Esme half turned to her family. They ignored her.

"Why?" The beautiful blond, Emmett's wife demanded us.

"I want to know how he knew Katherine."

"Who are you?" Emmett asked, his voice much kinder than his wife's.

"My name is Bella. I'm the mate of Sam Uley."

"Yes, we know, but what do you care about Katherine?"

"I'm here to talk to him, not you." I told her glaring back.

I felt a wave of calm and backed up further, pushing Emily further behind me. Whatever this feeling was, it wasn't natural.

"I can't read her." The copper haired one said staring at me intently.

"Please, if we could just have a minute with Emmett, our mates will be worried." Emily spoke up again; no doubt hoping the reminder of the pack would keep them from attacking.

"You do not have to fear us." Doctor Cullen smiled gently at us. "We are happy to help you. Emmett was hoping to find a way to speak with you actually."

"Thank you doctor Cullen."

"Please, call me Carlisle."

I nodded, "If you mean us no harm, can you stop whatever you're doing please."

"And what are we doing?" Rosalie demanded.

"The calm thing. It's…" not freaking me out, I couldn't feel freaked out with all the calm, "disconcerting. I don't like feeling something that is not my own emotion."

"Forgive me." The blond male spoke up, was he Jasper or Edward? "I meant only to make you more comfortable."

I nodded as the feeling receeded, "thank you."

"So Katherine?" Emily asked squeezing my hand.

"My sister."

My head whipped around to Emmett, "You're sister?"

He nodded, "She was my baby sister, we were very close. I never learned what became of her or the rest of my family."

"She went to the woods every year about the time you went missing. One year she fell in love with a… man… who was also mourning the loss of his sister. They had a daughter but she died in giving birth to her."

He nodded and his eyes looked wet, _could vampires cry?_ "How do you know? Are you her granddaughter?"

"Her daughter actually."

They all stared at me like I might have gone batty. "My father was not human and when he fell in love with her he carried her to a place where time runs a little different. Actually you might think I am nuts because he was a fairie. Not a Tinkerbelle fairie but more like an elf fairie."

"They fey have many names and we do not think you are nuts." Doctor Cullen spoke up again.

"We don't?" Asked Rosalie with a snort.

"You don't?" I echoed her surprise.

He shook his head, "I have come across the fey once before. A long time ago." He motioned to some deck chairs. "Please sit. No harm will come to you while you are here."

I took the invitation since my knees were beginning to feel weak. Emily sat beside me looking stunned.

"When?"

"During my travels, before I had my family. She was a very beautiful woman, though very dangerous, and did not stay long in this realm, choosing to return across the veil as soon as she was able to. It seems she had been banished here as punishment to watch over a little girl until she was turned and passed her newborn year. It was during this year that I came across her and the small coven of nomads in Ireland."

I nodded, "What was her name?"

"The girl was Siobhan, the fey called herself Findabhair."

"Fin-a-veer?"

"I do not know if it was her name or simply what she chose to call herself here. Siobhan was nine months when I met them and Findabhair left only weeks after the year mark. She was a very private woman and while I learned much from here I learned very little about her or her kind."

"I thought Chief Swan was your father? Is he fey?" The little black haired one asked bouncing in the blond males arms, he must be Jasper then, since Edward was the only one introduced with out a mate and now stood alone, still glaring a little at me.

"No, he's not really my father, I was switched." I turned a little from her to return Edward's glare, "What is your problem?"

"I can't read you."

I just stared at him confused.

"My son is a telepath, though it seems your mind is closed to him."

I snorted, "Good." Then glared at him again, "Instead of trying to burn a hole in my skull with your eyes you could try asking what you want to know."

"Are you really Katherine's daughter?" Rosalie asked, her voice much kinder than it had been.

I nodded, "As far as I know anyways. I just learned all of this."

"Will you please tell us?" Esme smiled warmly at me. I shot a look over at Emmett, he was staring at me as if in shock.

"Not long ago I moved her from Phoenix and met Sam. He's my mate. I also met another wolf named Paul, our spirits did this supernatural bind thingy and we learned something similar had happened a long time ago in one of the other tribes. Apparently that woman was my aunt. Her ancestors are also on the reservation. My father, mourning the death of his half sister came to this realm every once in a while and wandered around. Until he met Katherine, mourning her missing brother. Like I said, they fell in love and he brought her across the veil to fairie or wherever he was from. They had me and my mother died. The thing that was after my aunt came after me. She was a half-breed too and this thing, doesn't like half-breeds. To keep me safe my father brought me to the reservation where he hoped I would be safe with her ancestors. There was no where to leave me there but in Forks he found the Swan's and he could see the light of her life was going to go out. He replaced her with me, glamouring away the things that marked me as fairie or elf or fey, whatever and left me to be raised by them as though I were Isabella." I gave them the Cole's notes. Before turning to Emmett, "I just learned who Katherine was, after you called out her name when you saw me and I thought, maybe you could tell me who she was."

He nodded, "My baby sister was an angel. You look just like her. My human memories are very faded and murky but I remember Katherine."

"Wait, what is this thing?" Jasper asked.

I shrugged, "I don't know, all I know is its dangerous and doesn't like Halflings."

"So you were a Changeling? What happened to the real Isabella?" Edward spoke up, no longer trying to drill a hole in my head with his eyes but still staring.

"She died. My father held her in his arms until the light of her life went out. Her parents never knew about the switch and my magic was bound to keep me hidden."

"What kind of magic?" Alice was bouncing again, a grin spread from ear to ear. I laughed, liking her.

"Don't know. I was just told it was bound, also that I have pointed ears and a ring of gold around my pupils that glows, that are hidden by glamour so I've never even seen what I really look like."

"Findabhair kept her looks magicked to a more human appearance as well." Carlisle informed us. The fey do not blend as readily as us or so I would imagine."

"Don't you sparkle in the sun or something?" Emily finally spoke up, her cheeks automatically tinting pink at her comment.

I looked from her back to the vampires, "Really? You guys sparkle?"

Alice giggled, "Yup, like diamonds." Then she danced off the patio into a patch of sun.

"Holy shit." Emily and I both swore and started laughing. Alice was giggling to as she appeared back in her husband's arms.

"Do the boys do that to?" I asked still grinning.

They nodded, "We can go out only when it is cloudy or dark, our skin might be pale and our eyes unusual but only the sun can reveal us for what we are." Carlisle told us.

"So my uncle sparkles like a disco ball?" I asked giggling again.

I heard laughter like bells join mine and looked to see all three women laughing as Rosalie began singing "I wanna take a ride on your disco stick" which put us all in hysterics.

"Ok, ok." Emmett growled pulling her into his lap and kissing her neck.

"How did you end up like this?" I asked him, immediately blushing at my impolite invasion to his privacy, "I'm sorry, that was rude."

He shook his head grinning, "It's alright. I was hunting and came across an irritable bear. It attacked and left me mauled. Rosie here found me a little more than half dead and carried me to Carlisle to be changed. We've been together ever since and no bear has beat me in a wrestling match since." He said the last with a broad toothy smile, it might have been intimidating but I didn't really feel frightened by any of them.

"Do you have a power to?"

He shook his head, "Nah that's just Edward, Jazz and Alice."

"Edward read minds, Jasper does that calm thing, what does Alice do?"

"Jasper is an Empath, he reads and manipulates all emotions and his wife can see the future." Carlisle spoke up again.

"Really, so you saw us coming? And this conversation?" Emily asked sounding intrigued.

The spiky-haired pixie shook her head, "Nope. I did not see this coming. First time I've been surprised in a long time too."

"Ever." Rosalie said with an eye roll.

"The future is subjective, based on many different decisions, what she sees can always change and she does not see everything."

"I can never see the wolves. They call and we meet them but I can never see the meeting."

"Maybe that's why you couldn't see us since we are their mates." Emily suggested.

Alice shrugged, "maybe."

"Are all vampires eyes yellow?" I asked curious about their topaz eyes.

Carlisle shook his head, "Most vampire's have red eyes and all of our eyes will go black when we are thirsty, very angry or… feeling passionate." I rolled my eyes at his sensitive term for lust, then burst out laughing with Emily and Alice when Emmett decided to clarify.

"He means before and during sex." Rose smacked him on the back of the head with a loud crashing sound, "Awe, Rosie, I was trying to help." He whined causing us all to laugh.

"Ok so why are your eyes topaz?"

"We do not consume human blood. The diet of animals turned our eyes and marks us as what vampires term vegetarians."

"Cool." Emily and I nodded.

"I'm surprised the dogs let you come here." Rosalie broke the slight silence that had fallen.

Emily and I looked at each other not really wanting to tell them our mates didn't know we were here.

"Snuck off huh?" Emmett laughed and I grinned at him.

"They will not be happy when you return." Esme looked concerned.

"Why wont blame you." I reassured her.

"Not unless we get hurt." Emily added.

"So we had better make sure you get home safe and soon." Esme told us, "no sense having them worry to much."

"Not yet mom, I haven't gotten to talk to my niece really." Emmett turned back to me, "Did your father tell you anything about my sister?"

I shook my head, "Not much. We only spoke the once when he told me what I was. I was hoping that you might tell me about her."

He nodded, "I can tell you what I remember."

We heard a howl in the distance and a moment later others joining in. Emily and I glanced to the woods, recognizing our mate's howls.

"Shit." I couldn't help the expletive slipping out.

Emily nodded, "Yup."

"I do believe our time is up." Carlisle smiled at us.

"You'll have to come back again Bella. So we can get to know you and you can spend more time with Emmett talking about your mother." Esme smiled kindly at us again.

"I will do my best to learn all I can about the fey until then. Siobhan might be able to help if you'd like to learn more about your heritage."

I nodded, "Thank you so much for your hospitality."

"You will come back wont you Tinkerbelle?" Emmett asked hopefully.

"Tinkerbelle?"

"You're half fairy and so tiny." He laughed.

I laughed with him and nodded, "We'll talk again Bear."

He grinned at my answer and his new nickname. The howls sounded again much closer as we watched the tree line. Our mate's were coming and they were not happy.

**IMPORTANT A/N –**

**A couple people have commented on a possible similarity to Vampire Diaries. This is not a crossover story and any similarity is coincidental. Thank you to my readers who mentioned this – one it makes me interested in checking out the show and two I don't want to accidentally infringe on anyone's copy write so please let me know if anything I write needs to be noted to their plot line – as of now I was told the only real similarity is in the name of the character Emmett confuses Bella with – Katherine is just a name I really like **

**Hey all – was this chapter ok? The Cullen visit proved harder than I thought to write. I wanted Rose to be a bit of a bitch at first but she is her husband's niece and I wanted them all to be in shock a little but Carlisle is always so calm and collected and lived so long, I wanted him to know something. Let me know what you thought. The next chapter is longer and just about done so will be posted in a day or two. Just need to edit.**


	30. Chapter 30

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can. **

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

Emily and I immediately stood and walked to the edge of the patio. Around us the Cullen's had already taken places flanking the Doctor at the steps with Emmett and Rose closest to us. Seconds later five large wolves stepped out of the woods all growling ferociously. I recognized all of them in this form, though I knew who they'd be with the first angry howl. Sam and Paul were both shaking as they would in human form before phasing. Emily and I slipped past the Cullen's and walked calmly to the angry wolves. Emmett grabbed my arm and there was a vicious outburst from the pack. I turned to him and gave him a small smile and shake of my head, pulling my arm from his gentle grasp as the mind reader gently said his name with a shake of his head to keep him from restraining me further.

Emily made it to Paul wrapping her arms around his neck. His shaking stopped but his eyes remained on me even as his giant head dropped over her shoulder.

I walked to Sam and did the same, burying my face in his black fur. The shaking stopped but his eyes stayed on the Cullen's a steady and low growl emanating from him.

Embry and Quil came out of the woods in human form, they said nothing, tremors running through them as they walked over to my truck and climbed in before driving away. When the truck disappeared down the drive I saw Paul lay down beside me, pushing Emily with his head to his other side. She climbed onto his back as Jake stepped a little in front of them, his focus still on the family of vampires in front of us.

"Sam?" I whispered into his neck. His growl grew and he used his head to push me to his side. Lying down as Paul had so I could climb onto his back.

"Bella?" I saw Emmet step forward and all the wolves began growling louder.

"Emmett, leave them. He will not harm her." Again the mind reader spoke, holding his brother back.

I climbed onto Sam, lying down so I could grip his neck securely, my legs wrapped tightly around his ribs.

He began backing away after Paul with Leah, Jake and Jared closing the gap in front of us, still growling ferociously at the vampires who stood still as marble.

A little ways in the trees Sam swung around and began to run. When he stopped we were in the yard of our house. The other wolves were gone. I worried briefly for Emily as I slid off Sam's back. He didn't phase, just pushed me with his head towards the house. I went and sat on the porch, watching him. He lay facing me, his eyes dark with anger. I wondered if the reason he didn't phase was because he couldn't.

I'm not sure how long we sat there but it was long enough for me to drift off, leaning against the post of our porch. I only woke as he lifted me up and carried me into the house.

The sky was darkening into night and Sam's body was still shaking with light tremors around me. "Sam?" His eyes were still dark with anger.

He didn't reply as he sat me on the kitchen counter and pulled out frozen pizzas. He put them in the oven, not looking at me.

"Sam?" I bit back the tears.

He finally faced me, standing across the room, his arms folded as he leaned against the counter staring at me.

His voice was low and hard with anger, "You will never do that again."

"Sam, I'm sorry." Tears spilled over onto my cheeks, "I promise I wont ever disappear without telling you again but I had to talk to him and I knew you wouldn't want me to. I swear I wont ever go without telling you first but…"

He interrupted me, his voice even angrier, as it came out in a viscous growl, "You wont ever go there again!"

"Sam…"

"NO!" he roared, his shaking was getting bad now.

"Please calm down Sam, talk to me."

He didn't reply and I wondered if I shouldn't slip over the island to the other side incase he phased in the kitchen.

"Sam, you have to calm down. I'm ok. So is Emily. Everything is fine. They didn't hurt us. They wont hurt us."

He let out a growl, "They will never be near you again. You will never go there. If I ever let you off this reservation again and you ever do see them again you'll go in the other direction and call the pack."

"If you ever let me…" My voice trailed off, I was angry now, "I am not your property! You don't get to tell me what I can and can't do. I get it, you were scared, fine, I should not have gone without telling you but I don't need your permission to do anything! Not to leave this reservation and not to do or go or see anything!"

Sam didn't say anything but I had never seen him shake so badly as he growled and half ran out of the kitchen. He didn't make it off the porch before he was a wolf again. He let out an ear splitting howl.

When the timer buzzed I got off the counter and turned off the oven. I wasn't hungry though. I left the pizza and went to sit on the couch. I curled into a ball and sat there waiting for Sam to come back, trying not to think.

It was all too much. Six months ago I had been a normal girl living in Phoenix with my mother and her new husband. I might have been damaged but I was working on being steady. Now the world had spun, turned on its head, twisted and fallen to pieces.

I waited for Sam to come back, feeling numb as the hours passed and the sky finally began to lighten. I stayed there as footsteps came up the porch; I knew it wasn't Sam without looking so I stayed curled up, staring at nothing.

"Bella?" Jared kneeled in front of me. I said nothing; I didn't even bother looking at him. I still felt numb. I wasn't even sure if I was more afraid that Sam would not come back or afraid that he would.

"Bella, honey, are you alright?" I heard Kim's voice and felt a hand fall onto my ankle as the couch dipped at my feet.

"Sam was just scared Bella. When we caught your scent mixed with theirs, Sam and Paul both went a little crazy."

"He'll calm down and come back in." Still I said nothing, I just stared at nothing, unable to make myself move or think or feel. I just let the stories of everything I had learned run through my head over and over again. The only thing I saw was the image of Sam's face as he stared at me, shaking with anger, eyes dark and hard as he forbid me from leaving the reservation.

I heard Jared stand and move across the room. He was talking quietly, Kim still sitting at my feet. When I heard new steps on the porch I could feel instantly who it was. Not Sam, no, my mate, had left, storming out and leaving me when I refused to let him control me, just like David had, back before he'd shake or slap me. Then he'd come back and I'd feel guilty. It was my fault he left; my fault he was angry, I just had to be good, to do what he said, because it was for my own good. That's what he would say while he shook me until my teeth rattled, leaving bruises from his hands on my arms. It was my fault he was angry and he wouldn't have hit me if I hadn't made him angry, if I had just listened and done what he'd told me the first time.

In my numb haze I saw Paul crouched in front of me. "Bella? Are you alright?" His voice, like Jared and Kim, sounded far away, or like they were coming to me through a wall. "Tell me why you're crying little sister?" His warm fingers brushed across my cheek, was I crying?

Emily sat on the coffee table beside where Paul crouched over me, "Where's Sam?" I heard her ask someone.

"Trying to cool off." Jared told her.

I saw Paul start to shake a little. "What the two of you were thinking." He growled shaking his head.

Emily put her hand on his shoulder and he calmed. "Listen Bella." He sighed, "Sam was scared, we were all fucking terrified when we caught your scent with the leeches. He'll cool off and come back to talk."

"He already did…" I tuned them out as Jared and Paul continued to talk over me. Kim's hand gently resting on my ankle and Emily reached over and took my hand.

I just lay there, numb until Paul filled my vision again, his hot hand running over my forehead. "Jared has gone to get Sam." I flinched and my vision blurred.

"Paul, you have to calm down before you phase." I heard Emily's soft voice a moment later.

I heard two heavy steps on the porch and heard the door slam open. I felt Sam before I saw him. Had he come back to punish me? I felt Paul shaking as my whole body began to vibrate.

"Bella?" My body began to shake harder and I couldn't see through the tears still falling silently but I knew the blur kneeling in front of me was Sam. I curled into a tighter ball to protect myself and shut my eyes. I couldn't do this. Not again. I wouldn't survive this again.

I heard growling and howls then silence. After a while I heard different voices talking around me, sometimes someone would lay a hand over my ankle or shoulder. I wasn't sure how much time passed as I lay there lost in the safety of numbness.

Then I heard a new voice, a soft and soothing voice. I listened to the words and found meaning in some, "… doing really well … Jack and I went on a date … taking it slow … miss you …" Rylan. The name of the speaker finally came to me and I felt my eyes burn with fresh tears. "Isa, honey, that's it, I'm here, come back to me."

"Ry" my voice was low, I couldn't seem to get it more than a whisper.

"I'm here Isa." His voice had dropped to a whisper to as he leaned in closer to me.

"Don't let him hurt me again. Please, I can't live through it again."

I felt his grip on my hand tighten, "Who Isa? Who hurt you?"

"David." I whimpered, curling tighter and clenching his hand in mine.

"David's not here honey, he can't hurt you anymore."

"I can't live through it again Ry. It's the same, it's just the same, like David."

"Shh, It's ok, Isa. I'm here, nothing is the same, I wont let anyone hurt you; you never have to live through that again."

I closed my eyes again and gripped his hand. I felt him shift and lift me into his arms. He sat back down with me in his lap. "I'll take care of you honey, you and me remember, we'll be just fine together." I started to cry and buried my head in his shoulder; he sat there and held me, rubbing my back gently until the tears stopped, "Feel better?" I nodded into his chest. "Tell me what happened honey. Tell me everything."

"It's all so messed up Ry. I'm not really me or even fully human. Charlie and Renee aren't my parents. Paul's soul is tied to mine in life and death. Leah and Seth are distant cousins. My uncle is a vampire and my fiancé is a werewolf so they are mortal enemies. He says I can't leave the reservation and I can't fight him he's to strong, what if I make a mistake? He'll kill me, shift in the kitchen. Even if he doesn't I'll die here, trapped in this house, trying not to make a mistake, not to do something wrong."

"Honey, you told me yourself, Sam wont ever hurt you. He loves you. Even I can see that, no matter how much the werewolf thing freaks me out, that man loves you."

"Alpha. He's alpha. Everyone does what he says. I said no and he left. He was so angry. Next time he might not leave. Maybe he just won't come back. I can't do it Ry. I can't live like that. Never good enough, not smart enough to have an opinion, to make my own choices. I can't be controlled and locked away. Not again. I'd rather he just killed me."

Our voices hadn't yet moved above a quiet whisper as Rylan held me in his arms and tears ran freely down my cheeks.

"You don't ever have to live like that again honey. I promise Isa. If I have to invest in munitions and hire a small army, I will always come for you, I'll always keep you safe." I nodded into his neck. "Come on. We'll go get you in a hot bath and relax and you can explain that mass of things you said to me from the beginning."

Rylan shifted me off his lap and stood up, pulling me to my feet and guiding me down the hall through my room to the master bath. I sat on the toilet as he filled the tub and added bubbles. When I was all settled in he began to wash my hair. I loved having my hair washed. I sighed in comfort letting my body relax as his fingers worked through my hair and over my scalp.

I began to explain everything to him from the beginning. He already knew all about the wolves but I went over it again. I explained how I was connected to Sam and to Paul. How Jake had been my best friend growing up. Then I told him the legend of my aunt and how my father had kept coming back to wander this world long after she died. How he had met my mother in the woods and talked to her. How her brother had disappeared and died, like his sweet sister. They fell in love and had me. I told him how I had been replaced with Isabella Swan, how I had always felt her name didn't really fit me though I never knew I wasn't even her. I told him how I went to see the vampires and learned that my mother's beloved older brother was one of them. How angry Sam was and how he had forbidden me from seeing him again, from leaving the reservation. When I had finished, my hair had been washed and conditioned and the water had turned cold.

Rylan helped me to stand and left me to dry, returning with light weight Capri sweatpants and a fitted tank. I dressed and crawled into bed. It smelled like Sam. I rolled over to his side and breathed in. Falling asleep to the comfort of his forest after the rain smell.

When I woke up the room was dark and Rylan was asleep beside me. I slipped out of the bed and padded down to the kitchen before my grumbling stomach could wake him. I heard snoring in the spare room and wondered if it was Jared or Jake. I knew instinctively it was neither Sam nor Paul.

This time I was not as surprised to find Leah sitting on my couch.

"Sam's in the woods. He hasn't been able to change back since you flinched away from him. Emily got Paul to calm down enough but he's still a wreck."

I nodded and said nothing going into the kitchen and making toast.

"What happened Bella?"

I sat at the table and carefully ate the lightly buttered toast, my stomach both protesting its lack of food and rolling in discomfort.

She huffed angrily and stood up, stomping over to me.

"You drove out to see vampires Bella, you put yourself and Emily at risk. Are you really surprised he was upset? That we all were scared and upset. Sam and Paul would die if anything happened to you. All of us would suffer, not just because of the imprint, or because our brothers would die but because we care. You're our sister and you deliberately put yourself and our sister at risk. Of course he was going to be upset, we're all upset but you know he wouldn't hurt you. You came to him when he was a snarling wolf why on earth would you suddenly be afraid of him here?" She was shaking as I watched her warily, wondering if the table between us would be enough to protect me if she phased to wolf here.

"Leah! Go outside." With the order from Jared Leah snarled and stood, knocking her chair over and slamming the door as she left.

I couldn't help the flinch when he took a step towards me. His sigh was more sad than angry. "Tell us what to do Bella. How to help you."

I looked away, down at my lap.

"Just leave us be." Rylan's voice came from the hall behind Jared. "Take your girlfriend and leave us alone a while. Give her some time and space. The more all of you hover over her the harder it is." I could feel Jared eyes on me before he turned and went back down the hall. I looked up when I heard the door open and saw him carrying a sleepy Kim out into the night.

I bit back a fresh wave of tears as my stomach threatened to bring up the half slice of toast I had eaten.

Rylan picked up the chair Leah had abandoned and sat across from me, reaching out to take my hand. "Tell me what to do Isa. Do I take you away? Is there anyone you trust? Anyone you won't flinch away from? Anywhere you feel safe?"

I shook my head.

"Please honey, it's been a week, they are all scared."

My head shot up, my eyes meeting his, "A week?" My voice came out shaky.

"It was three days before they called me. A day before I could get you to respond. Two days since I got you in the tub and heard your story. Today, or rather tomorrow will be day seven."

I shook my head, "A week?" It felt like only hours had passed. Mostly I had been numb and when I wasn't I relived all the time I was with David.

"Isa. Honey, I know that what happened to you doesn't go away over night but you got so much better and then you came here. Sam was so good for you. I understand, I do, him telling you what to do or not to do brought it all back but Isa, he loves you. He's killing himself for upsetting you. It's killing all of them to see you like this. Hell, it's killing me to see you like this again, and when I met you it wasn't quite this bad." He sighed, "Tell me what to do honey. How can I help?"

"A week?"

"Isa, honey, please. What should I do? Take you away? Keep them out? Tell me how to help. What will make you feel safe?"

I could feel myself trembling as I stared at him unsure of the answer. I couldn't leave; I knew that. I was trapped. If I left it would hurt Sam, I couldn't hurt Sam. Paul too, it would hurt Paul if I left, how could I ever cause my brother to suffer? He had already suffered too much; I couldn't break him by leaving. The others would feel it too, they were all connected, to Paul and to Sam, they would all suffer. They wouldn't let me go, even if I got away they might hunt me down and what if Rylan got hurt, then I would be alone. All alone and trapped, forever, just like David wanted, a good Bella, who never left, never spoke to anyone else, just his, all his, meek, controlled, locked away. I would never be safe again. I would never be free. I could not even die, not without killing them.

**A/N**

Sorry for all those who wanted a bit of a possessive Sam and a little lemony bonding between mates to end her little adventure to see the Cullen's. Bella hasn't just magically healed the emotional damage caused by her past. She loves Sam and accepts the imprint but the scars are still there and they can still haunt her at times. This was one of them.


	31. Chapter 31

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts **** I will update as often as I can. **

**PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them**

**! Sorry for the lack of update it REALLY wasn't my fault. I have had this chapter ready but there was an error with the system and it wouldn't let me post! So sorry for the wait. Hope you all enjoy. **

"Isa? Talk to me honey. Please." Rylan pleaded with her feeling helpless.

"Paul. I need Paul." I whispered.

I heard him get up and the door open. A minute later he was back. "Jake went to get Paul. He'll be here soon."

I nodded and got up, going over to the couch and sinking onto it. I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, waiting.

I felt it the moment Paul came in. He sat next to me and when I didn't flinch he put his arm around my shoulders. I leaned into his warmth and he lifted me into his lap.

"You ok little sis?" His low voice was heartbreaking.

I nodded though the action was in conflict with my words, "Not really."

His arms tightened around me, "Sam would never hurt you."

"I know." My voice cracked with fresh tears.

"Tell me what happened."

"I just. I don't know Paul. It's like the world spun around and Sam was David. Ordering me not to do something. Not even listening to me as he made decisions for me, like my opinion was unimportant, like I couldn't make my own choices with my life. What I want didn't matter, not to David. My mother wanted me home so I couldn't see the movie with him and he got so angry. Nothing was as important as him. Nothing else mattered except what he wanted. Everything just spun and changed and Sam was David and I was trapped. I'm still trapped."

"Shh," he rocked me while I cried in his arms. "Sam is not David Bella. What you want, what you need, it's all that matters. Don't you see that by now? Everything we are is yours, everything we do it is for you. He'll suffer anything if it meant you were happy."

"I know. Paul, I know. I just, it was all wrong, he was so angry and I couldn't think." I cried into his neck soaking up the heat of his body though I still felt cold. He just rubbed my back, holding me tightly. "It's ok. You're ok. You are safe here Bella. No one will ever hurt you again. You don't have to be afraid anymore. We wont ever let David or anyone else ever hurt you again."

"I'm sorry I took Emily with me, sorry I put her in danger." I whispered clinging to him.

"I know. It's ok little sis. I know." He assured me. "Just don't do it again ok. I couldn't stand to loose either of you. It would kill me."

"I wont ever do that again, I promise, but Paul I can't promise not to see them again." I felt him stiffen in my arms, "He's my uncle Paul. My family. I want to know him. I want to know everything he remembers about my mother, who she was, what she was like as a kid, if I am like her at all besides in looks. I want to know, I need to know. Everything is so messed up and confusing. Ever since I came here my life has been turned upside down. All I wanted was stability and safety and a fresh start only nothing is stable at all, everything is upside down and smashed to pieces and I don't even know who I am anymore. I feel so lost." I sobbed into him, "I'm so scared Paul. Everything is crazy and all I want is to marry Sam and find a real job and cook for the pack and plant some flowers in the yard. I just want a stable life. We'll just be soul mates and husband and wife with our little house and our family, bonfires and cookouts. No fairies or elves or whatever my ancestors are, no legends of Aunts hunted by some evil, no mother-in-law who hates me, and no David. No past at all. Just Sam and Bella and the pack."

"The past wont just disappear little one. Believe me, I tried to make mine." Paul had relaxed during my rant, "It doesn't define us Bella but it is a part of us. David is a part of you and as much as I'd like to castrate him and then tear out his throat, I would not change one thing about who you are. If my father wasn't who he was, I would not have been an angry bastard and phased to close to Emily but if I were not that angry bastard I might not have imprinted on her at all, I might not have been a werewolf because I would not have been me and my soul would never have bonded to yours."

I nodded into his neck, "I'm not afraid of Sam. I'm just so afraid of getting trapped into that life again, that cycle of fear and pain, walking on eggs shells and never having an opinion or a choice. I know that's not Sam, he would die before hurting me but it's like I just can't feel what I know. I didn't mean to hurt him and I'm sorry I scared both of you, I know I shouldn't have done what I did."

"I know little one. I also know that you would do it again if you could go back and I know that no matter what we say you will see the leech again. I might not like it but I know I can't really stop you. You and me are going to fight, its what siblings do. I'll tell you what to do and you will go ahead and do what you want anyways." I laughed a little through the tears. "With Sam it will be different and the same. I might growl and demand Emily not do something and then she tells me to fuck myself because I am not her keeper and she'll do what she wants. We'll fight and then she'll wait for me to calm down and we'll talk rationally about things. We might never agree on whatever it is but we compromise, just like you will with Sam." He sighed, "You have no idea how scared he was little one. How scared we both were. Feeding our fear into each other. The rest of the pack was almost as bad, especially Jared who could easily imagine it being his imprint in danger. We fed off each other getting more angry through our fear."

"Has he been back at all?"

"He's in the woods. He can't get far from you. The fear of loosing you is still too raw. It's difficult for all of us when we phase and have to be in his head. When Jared called for us and we saw you curled on that couch it broke our hearts. It nearly killed him when you flinched away from him. Nearly ripped my heart out to. Only Emily kept me calm enough to stay human most of this week."

"I'm so sorry Paul."

"Not your fault little one." He sighed, "It took me a long time to get past the man my father was, hell I still have issues. It hasn't been that long since you got away from David. I know it will haunt you but you have to remember that whatever happens, Sam is not David. He will never hurt you. None of us will. So shout or throw things, Emily can instruct you on iron skillets hard enough for us to feel but light enough to wield with a little force." I giggled and wiped at the tears drying on my cheeks. He turned serious again, "Do anything Bella, but don't shut him out. Don't shut any of us out."

I nodded, "I'm sorry. I just, its like my mind shuts down, I just felt numb or afraid with all the memories and then numb again."

"I know." He kissed my forehead and we sat in silence for awhile before Paul quietly whispered, "Can I go get Sam now you think?"

I bit back fresh tears; "He might not want to see me right now."

Paul hugged me to him, "Sam always wants to see you Bella and right now I think he needs to."

I nodded and shifted off his lap, "Ok." Paul got up, "Where did Rylan go?"

"He's in the spare room."

I nodded and brought my knees to my chest again, wrapping my arms around them, "Is Sam close? Will he be here soon?"

"The tree line. He's been running around the house or laying just in the woods watching the front door."

I nodded again, "Thanks brother."

"Always little sister." He bent and kissed my forehead. "We'll be talking about your little stunt again though."

"I know." I bit back fresh tears. "I wont do it again Paul. I promise."

I heard him go out the door and five minutes later I felt Sam enter. I could feel him coming closer with each step though he stood a little away from me when he stopped, I didn't lift my head to look over at him.

"I'm sorry baby-girl." His voice was gruff with emotion and disuse.

I shook my head, "I'm so sorry Sam." I burst into tears wishing he was holding me.

As if he read my mind he took two large steps to the couch and kneeled in front of me, pulling me into his lap so I straddled him, his arms tights bands around my body and his face buried in my hair. "I didn't mean to scare you. I would never hurt you."

I nodded into his neck, "I know. I'm sorry. It wasn't you, not really, I know you'd never hurt me."

"I was so scared baby-girl. So scared I couldn't see straight. I should have waited, should have calmed down more before trying to talk to you."

"It's ok Sam. It's my fault; I should never have gone there. I should have talked to you first." I cried against his skin as he held me.

"I'll never be ok with it Bella. I know he's your uncle but he's still a vampire and you are my mate, I'll never be ok with you being there."

"I have to know him Sam. I have to know about my mother."

"I know." I felt him shudder beneath me, "it still terrifies me. You being with them, anywhere near them at all."

"I know." There was nothing else I could say. I couldn't promise not to see him again, not when I knew it was a promise I wouldn't be able to keep. "I love you."

"I love you so much baby-girl."

We sat like that for a while, until I shifted in his lap. "Sam?"

He half grunted a reply, his arms tightening at my movement.

"Let's go to bed. You need sleep." He pulled away a little but only to shift me so he had one hand on my thigh and the other on my bum. As he stood with me in his arms I wrapped my legs around his waist, tightening my arms on his shoulders.

I kissed one, "Sam?"

He grunted in reply again.

"Are you naked?"

He shrugged though I could see the hint of a blush in his bronze cheeks. "Burst through my shorts when I phased and didn't wait to find new ones when Paul said you wanted me."

"I always want you." I breathed the words into his ear, kissing the tender skin below it.

He growled in response. "Careful mate. I am still angry with you for putting yourself at risk like that."

I shivered at his low voice and panty-dampening growl. When the scent hit him, he growled again.

"I'm sorry Sam." I pulled back a little to kiss his jaw. "Very sorry." I kissed the corner of his mouth.

He growled and caught my mouth with his. When he broke the kiss it was to sit me on the bed. He stepped away, running a hand through his short hair.

"Sam?" He was breathing heavy and avoiding looking at me though I knew he wanted me, I could see how badly he wanted me, could feel it vibrating in the air.

He cursed, running his hand through his hair again.

"Sam?" I stood up and took a step towards him.

"I don't want to scare you." He pushed out, his hands clenched at his sides.

I paused and looked at him, his body was lightly shaking, but not as though he would shift, more like he was trying to force himself not to come to me.

"I'm not afraid of you Sam. You don't scare me." I assured him, taking a step closer.

His eyes shot to mine, dark with intensity, "Don't I? Wont you be?" he half growled at me. His fists clenching tighter before he sighed, "I get it Bella. I understand, what he did, it doesn't just go away over night, no matter how much I love you, he's still there, haunting you."

"Yes, he is, but you're not him. I know that. I'm sorry I freaked out on you. I know you would never hurt you. I just couldn't think rationally, couldn't even see you, only the past."

"No, I'm not him but I am a wolf Bella. I'm a fucking Alpha wolf. I give orders, I demand and I sure as shit get angry."

"Fine, but I'm your mate not your pack so you might give orders but I don't have to follow them and you might get angry but when you calm down we can talk rationally about whatever it is. I might freak out sometimes but I trust you and I love you and I know you wont hurt me. We just have to wait till we are both calm to deal with shit is all."

"I'm not calm Bella. I can't be calm right now."

I stepped closer to him, "So we'll talk in the morning."

He glared at me, "What he did to you. I never want you to fear me."

"Sam, I am not afraid of you. I freaked out, yes, but I wasn't afraid of you, not really. I know you would never hurt me. Do you think I could walk over to a horse sized, growling, pissed off wolf if I were scared of you?"

He shook his head, his eyes closing; it looked almost like he was in pain.

Quietly I walked over to him. He flinched when my fingers touched his arm. "I'm sorry I scared you Sam. I don't know how to make you forgive me."

"I'm not angry with you Bella."

"Then why are you angry?"

"I could have lost you."

"I'm right here Sam." I ran my hand over his stomach, the muscles rippling under my touch as I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him.

His arms came around me and held me tightly. I kissed his chest and it rumbled with a low growl that sent a fresh wave of heat through me, the scent only causing him to growl more.

"Why are you shaking Sam?" I tightened my grip on him to still the tremors that had started up.

"I can't… I" his voice came out in pants, "don't want to scare you."

I bit his chest and he hissed, "I am not afraid of you." I told him licking the spot.

"Can't be…gentle." He forced out as I kissed across his broad chest.

"Don't be." I panted, running my nails over his back.

He let out a loud growl and yanked me up into his arms, his mouth devouring mine.

I was panting when he tore his mouth from me. "You will never scare me like that again mate." He growled, walking to the bed again.

"Never." I agreed, trailing kisses on his shoulder. I knew he had snapped to the instincts he had been fighting so hard, the one that told him to claim me, to make sure I knew I belonged to him. It was an instinct I felt to, the need to have him deep within me, to hold me tightly in his arms where I could feel safe again.

He sat me on the bed and stripped off my shirt, kissing, biting and sucking as he knelt in front of me, still almost as tall as me on his knees. He pulled my bottoms off and gave my legs the same treatment, licking, biting, sucking and kissing my body. I squirmed under him trying to get some friction on my core, the one place on my body he had yet to touch.

"You are mine." He growled into my core, "My mate and you will let me protect you."

"Yes." I breathed and then screamed it again as he ran his tongue over my slit and then sucked my clit roughly into his mouth, causing the earth to shatter around me, "Yes, Sam, yes!"

He crawled up my body until he was looking directly into my eyes, "My mate. You will never put yourself at risk again. You are mine, and will never run or hide from me again. You are mine forever and I will protect you."

I wrapped my legs around his waist, clawing at his shoulders to bring his body down onto me from where he hovered on top of me. "Yes, yours, please Sam."

"Say it."

"I'm yours."

"And?"

"I won't ever run or hide from you again." He growled, his eyes burning into mine, "Please Sam." I moaned.

"Say it." His eyes never left mine.

"What? Sam, please." And then I understood. He was nothing like David. I was his yes, but he was also, "Mine." I panted, "Sam, my mate, mine."

He plunged into me with a growl as screamed out a second orgasm. He was mine. Sam was mine. I was his. Always I would belong to him but he was mine, forever.

"Mine." I moaned as the coil began to build up again.

"Mine." He growled back before kissing me. His hips pounding faster into me, his hands, lifting my hips to get even deeper as he leaned back on his knees, our eyes locked on each other. I gripped his shoulders as I felt another orgasm taking hold, when I felt him still and come with a loud growl, I screamed out my final release.

I fell asleep in his arms, clutching him to me as my mind just repeated, the one word again and again. _Mine._ Sam was mine. It didn't matter where I came from or who I was related to or not related to or how I was related to them. It didn't matter that I was still a little bit broken or that I had hurt him. Sam was mine, he belonged to me and I belonged to him. Nothing else mattered. Just Sam. Sam and I together was all that would ever really matter, because he was mine and I was his, forever.


	32. Chapter 32

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts I will update as often as I can. PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

I woke up and slipped out of the bed padding quietly out to the kitchen. I made coffee and took it out to the porch sitting and looking out at the wilderness.

"Isa?"

"Morning Ry."

"You ok honey?"

I turned my head from the woods and lifted my chin to look up at him, "Yes and no."

Rylan nodded and went back into the house so I turned to look out over the woods again.

He came back a minute later with his own mug and sat next to me.

"Will it ever go away? Will I ever not freak out like that?"

"I have never seen you freak out like that before but this is the first relationship you have been in, it's intense, it's fast and it's flipped your already unstable life upside down, shaken the pieces down, and rearranged everything. When things settle down it will get better again but no Isa, I don't think it ever really goes away entirely. The scars David left you with will stay with you, they might fade over time but they will always be there."

"You think Sam and I are moving to fast."

"I don't know honey. I don't understand this wolf shit and mostly I don't want to. I think that when it comes down to it, to just you and Sam, you are happy and that you two have something that's pretty rare. When you find love, real love you should grab on with both hands and hold on tight. Life is short Isa and you should take what you want. There might not be a rush but time is never a guarantee so if this is what you want then no one but you and Sam has the right to say its to fast."

"I love him so much."

"I know and I'm pretty sure he knows but honey couples fight and both he and you need to remember that the past doesn't just disappear. Love doesn't heal the scars that the past burns into our souls. It makes it easier, it makes life better but it doesn't ever remove the scar entirely."

I nodded and sipped my coffee before leaning my head against his shoulder, sitting in silence as the sun rose.

"Thanks for coming Ry."

"Anytime honey, you know that. I'll always be here when you need me."

"Rylan?" I whispered.

"Yeah honey."

"I know you don't really want to know about the wolf thing but what do I do about the me not being me thing."

"Nothing."

I frowned at him, "What do you mean nothing?"

"Tell me who your parents are Isa."

I shook my head, "Some fey and a girl named Katherine McCarty."

"Those are your parents? So who are Charlie and Renee, to you?"

I shook my head, "Renee and Charlie are my parents. They raised me and love me and I love them."

"I get that you want to know who she was, this Katherine woman and that you would be curious about who and what he is but your parents are still your parents and you are still you. Nothing has changed really."

"Hasn't it?"

Rylan shook his head, "No, Isa. It hasn't. I get it that this is all way too much but you said you wanted everything to just go away, for it to just be you and Sam, so let it be. I know this is all overwhelming; hell, its not even directly affecting my life and it is all fucking overwhelming to think about so just don't. Marry Sam, live your life."

"The thing hunting me…"

"We don't know that it is, not anymore and its not anymore pressing on your life than it was last year or the year before. You just know about it now so deal with it if it ever comes up. You and Sam and the pack can deal with whatever it is as it comes up, no sense borrowing trouble and worrying about things you cannot change, either because it is the past or one possibility for the future. It's like worrying you are going to be hit by a car or choke on a chicken bone. All possibilities but you don't stop crossing streets or riding in cars or eating chicken right."

I laughed, but in an odd way, he was right. All of this had happened so fast and it was overwhelming to think about but it didn't really change anything. I was still me and still marrying Sam. "Ok, I guess you're right."

"Of course I'm right. I'm a genius. That is why you call me."

I laughed and shoved his shoulder, "Ok genius, have you got any plans for my wedding down since you left and did I hear something about a date with Jack or was I dreaming?"

He laughed and nudged my shoulder back, "The wedding plans are coming along beautifully and yes Jack and I went on a date. When I got back we met for coffee and I know I was going to wait for him to rebound but he's too damn cute and funny to let slip through my fingers."

"What did you do?"

"We had dinner and went dancing. We did not sleep together but man can sure kiss. I have high hopes he will live up to the noise you and Sam were making the last time I was here if not last night. Damn you two know how to make up."

I blushed and shoved his shoulder laughing. "Jealous much."

"Hell yeah." He laughed back.

He began telling me about the different options he had selected for me to choose from for various things on the day of and I told him about the marking ceremony we had to plan around. We were laughing about me practicing walking down the beach aisle without tripping when Sam came out on the porch.

"Morning Sam." I smiled at him, I could see the dark still under his eyes and felt guilty for how much I had hurt him again.

"Morning Bella. Rylan." He nodded to him and shifted on his feet, "I have to go meet with the Dr. Leech about what happened."

I nodded not sure what to say. Rylan sent me a small smile and stood up to go inside leaving Sam and I alone on the porch.

"What do I do here Bella? Every instinct I have is screaming at me to lock you safely up and go tear up every last one of them. I can't fight what I am, who I am and I can't just sit and watch my imprint cozy up to a leech, veggie or not."

"I can't be locked up and controlled Sam. This is my life and I need you to respect my choices, my right to live it."

He shook his head, folding his arms over his chest, "This is not about respecting your choices Bella. I respect your right to live your life and if you want to go to school, get a job or sit around the house all day that's fine. You can do whatever you want to. Whatever you want I will be that, give you that but I cannot watch you put your life at risk, I can't sit back and let you spend time with a leech."

"As long as I don't leave La Push, let's not forget that part Sam. I can do whatever I want as long as I don't leave La Push. You will be whatever I want here in La Push. Isn't that enough of a cage? Now you want to control who I talk to. You want to stop me from seeing someone in my own family? Where will that end Sam? Emmett is a vampire. My mother lives in Florida, should I cut her off too because you can't come with me and I can't go to her, not for more than a day or two because it will hurt you. Even if I did want to, you can't protect me there, is it to dangerous to go then? Where is the line Sam? When does what I want, the choices I make for my life, cross the line of what you can _let_ me do?"

He had started to tremble while I spoke "If you want to leave La Push then go." His voice held a note of defeat behind the rising anger, "I wont stop you from leaving Bella. I have never, not once tried to force you to be here. Hell, I lived for months without you here, without coming to near you, because it is what you wanted. So if you want to leave then go. Go see your mother, go to school, go live your life. Will it hurt? Yes. It will kill me every fucking day but it can't hurt any more than having you here knowing you don't really want to be, that underneath the acceptance of the imprint you are still afraid of me. You might desire me Bella but the imprint does that, it can't make you love me and I wont tie you to me knowing that the only reason you are doing it is the imprint."

"Sam?" It felt difficult to breath.

"I'm yours Bella. Every fucking fiber of my being is yours and god help me because it is not just the imprint. I love you. The wolf might take you any way he can but I wont. I wont marry a woman who feels obligated to it. I will not watch you grow to resent me."

"Sam?"

"You want to see the leech, fine. I'll arrange it with them to have a wolf take you to meet them at the border. I cannot and will not watch you put your life in my enemies' hands. I'll stay with Billy or you can stay with Paul. Do whatever you want Bella, I'll support it, but I will not do this. I will not make you mine when you do not want to be."

He turned and walked off the porch into the tree line. I couldn't move, or think, I could barely breath. I could not comprehend what had just happened. Sam had left me. How could Sam leave me? That wasn't supposed to be possible.

"Isa? Honey, are you ok? What happened?" I saw Rylan come out of the house a little while later and sit next to me. I didn't move my eyes from the spot in the woods where Sam had disappeared through. "Isa? Where's Sam?"

I'm not sure how much time passed as I watched that spot in the woods. Rylan had gotten up and gone into the house and a little while later Paul came. He didn't ask me what was wrong, he already knew, had seen it in Sam's head.

"Will you take me to Lore?" I spoke after a moment; my eyes still trained on the spot Sam had disappeared through.

Paul didn't say anything; he just stood up and held out his hand to help me up. He didn't let go as he led me over to my truck. He didn't ask questions, didn't say anything. He just drove me to the little cottage and then helped me out before disappearing into woods.

"What happened child?"

"Sam left me." I told her. I didn't cry. I couldn't. It seemed too surreal. "How is that possible? How can a wolf leave his imprint?"

"Come, we will have tea and you will tell me everything." I followed her into the little cottage and sat when she motioned me to the table.

When she was sat across from me, tea in both our hands I told her everything. She listened nodding, frowning, hmm-ing and the like but never interrupting. I told her everything from the time my mother left Forks taking me with her, through our wandering lives to moving to Phoenix, to David and how I blamed her for not seeing, to moving here and meeting Sam. I told her everything from my earliest memory to the moment Sam disappeared into the woods beside our home and Paul brought me here. The telling had taken several hours.

"Let us have some lunch." Was all she said when I finished.

"Lore…"

"Teala." I frowned at her. "My name is Teala. Lore is what I am called as Wise Woman; it is a name my husband gave to me, and one of respect in the tribe. You will call me Teala and come to stay with me a while." I watched her as she puttered about the kitchen as she made us both a sandwich and sat back at the table with water and lunch. "Eat now." She nodded to the plate in front of me and I did as she asked.

"Teala?"

"Everything will be well, Luna."

"I was called that at the ceremony, what is it?"

"Luna, means moon."

"Yes I know but why am I the moon?"

She laughed, "You are the other half to our Alpha and Luna of the pack."

"Ok but what is the Luna of the pack."

"The mate of our Alpha."

I frowned at her, "Is that another military call because I thought the phonetic alphabet letter for L was Lima."

She laughed, "It is. Luna means moon. Did you know many people think I am named Lore because I remember and keep all the stories of the tribe?"

"So why are you called Lore?"

"Lore means Laurel, it is the symbol of victory."

"Victory?"

She nodded, "What is the moon symbol of?"

I shrugged, "I think it used to be a symbol of femininity. The three goddesses or something."

Lore nodded and got up to make us more tea. "The moon is the symbol of women, the young maiden, the fertile woman and the aging crone. It is also the symbol of change, of new beginnings and of illumination and clairvoyance without thinking. The moon is the symbol of serenity and calm, she is unassuming and wise. Her light guides many through the darkness."

I shook my head, "I don't understand."

"You are our Luna so long as your mate is Alpha."

"What does that mean."

"It means what it does. Come now. The day is growing long and we must get your things. You will stay in the room on the far left and there will be time to talk in the time you stay with me. Now we shall go."

I shook my head in confusion but stood and brought my dishes to the sink. I washed them together with Lore's and placed them in the drying rack.

"Teala?"

"Yes Luna?"

"Will he come back?"

"This is his tribe and he the Alpha of our pack, he has not left."

"To me Lore. Will he come back to me?"

She sighed, "He has not left Bella. He cannot leave. His heart aches because he cannot heal you but when the time is right, you will heal him. For now, you will stay with me. You will learn to listen to your own spirit. You will learn to heal yourself so that you can heal them."

"I can't loose him Teala."

"So you will fight for him now, yes?"

I nodded, "How?"

"To catch a wolf is a subtle thing my dear. It will be difficult and very easy."

She might be a wise woman but I wished she was a little clearer with her wisdom, "So where do I start?"

"By deciding what you want Luna. Your Alpha will be whatever you want him to be but he must know what that is to be it. "

"I want Sam." I told her.

"Do you really?" I nodded, "Your Sam is like any other man and wants to know he is wanted. If La Push is the cage you told him it was, then he is the guard locking you in it. He has given you the key."

"What do I do? How do I get him back?"

"The first thing, you will take your things and move in with me. We will take each thing as it comes. You will heal yourself and let time lead him back."

I nodded and followed her out to my truck; I took a deep breath and started up my truck, trusting in her wisdom. Sam was my soul mate, somehow I would show him that he was what I wanted; he was all I wanted.

**Ok so a bit more drama for poor Sam and Bella but things are moving along. Sorry for all those of you who thought sex would cure all. Bella still has issues and surprise Sam has some too. No relationship is perfect and they did sort of go from zero to a hundred really fast and dealing with all the issues at that speed just isn't possible. We are not going back to square one though so please no angry death threats. They have just slowed things way down. Not saying that things will stay slow but a little break is in order for the progression of things. **


	33. Chapter 33

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts I will update as often as I can. PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

I parked the truck and sat looking at the perfect little cottage. I hated the idea of going in there and packing up my things, of moving out, of leaving Sam.

I felt the cool, dry, wrinkled skin and thin bones of Lore's hand as she reached over to touch my wrist.

"Take each thing as it comes, one at a time." She spoke softly and I nodded.

I saw Rylan come out of the house. He looked relieved. I forced myself to get out of the truck and walk over to him. I hugged him tightly.

"What happened Isa?"

"Sam left me." I whispered to him. His arms tightened around me. "I made him think I didn't want him and he left."

"Isa, honey, I, do you want to leave, come back to Seattle with me?"

I shook my head, "I want Sam, Ry. I just have to make him see it."

"How?"

I shook my head, "I'm not really sure yet but the first thing is to move out."

"You are going to get him back by moving out?"

I nodded, "I'm moving out but I won't be leaving."

"Will you go stay with Paul or Jake?"

I shook my head, "No, not the pack. Lore."

"Who is Lore?" He asked looking past me to Lore, still sitting in my truck.

"She is the wise woman of the tribe, and she is going to help me."

"To get Sam back."

"To heal and to get him back, yes, but first I need to get my clothes and I'm not sure I can go into our bedroom, not by myself. Will you help me pack?"

"Of course." Rylan took my arm as we went into the house and down the hall to the bedroom.

I didn't look at the unmade bed as I took out a suitcase and filled it with clothes. I didn't let myself think as Rylan helped me mechanically fill the bag with my clothing. Next, I went into the bathroom and filled another smaller bag with my toiletries. Rylan carried them both out to my truck, where Lore still sat waiting.

"What about the rest of it?"

I shook my head, "Leave it, I won't make it easier or worse for him by taking everything."

He tilted his head and frowned at me, "Easier and worse?"

"Easier by letting him think that he was right to give up and worse by making him think that I won't be back, that he was right and I don't really love him." I clarified. "Listen Ry, about all this, I'm sorry you keep having to come down here to pick up all the pieces for me."

He hugged me to him, "You're my best friend Isa. I love you. I will always come to help you pick up the pieces."

"I love you too."

"I know."

"Call me and tell me how things are going with Jack and everything."

"Of course. You'll keep me updated on Project Wed that Wolf?"

I laughed, "Of course."

He helped me get into the truck. "I'll pack up and drive back to Seattle in about an hour. Should I say anything if any of them come back before that?"

I shook my head, "No. Thanks Ry."

He leaned forward and kissed my temple. "It was nice to almost meet you Ma'am, you take care of my girl here."

Lore smiled at him, "I will help her to take care of herself."

He nodded and closed my door, stepping back and waving as I turned the truck around and drove back to Lore's house.

She left me to unpack and I stayed in the tiny room until I smelt supper.

"Can I help?" I asked stepping in to the kitchen.

She shook her head, "It's all finished now. You just sit on down."

I sat at the table, "Teala?"

"Yes Luna?"

"How did my father know I was coming to see you that day? How did he know to come talk to me?"

"I do not know the ways of the fey, their hows and whys are known only to them." She told me sitting down.

"How did you know he was coming?"

"He told me that he would be there when it was time, when you came to me to hear the stories I needed to tell you. I simply believed that he would know when the time came and he did."

I nodded and began to eat the grilled chicken and summer vegetables.

"Luna?"

"Yes Lore?" I had decided that if she were calling me Luna I would call her Lore, and when she called me Bella I would call her Teala.

She laughed, her quick mind already understanding. "Bella then."

I laughed as well, "Yes Teala?"

"What do you want to do about the past?"

My smile fell and I shrugged, "It scares me, I want it to just go away. I don't want to have to tell Charlie. I don't want it to be able to hurt Sam and Paul. I don't want to face this thing that hunts half breeds."

"Charlie already knows."

Her words sent a jolt of shock and fear through me, "He knows?"

"He does." She nodded. "To him it makes no difference. You are his daughter."

"How did he find out?"

"I told him, as I told Billy and the other Elders. It is something they must know. Something they learned before you, I asked them to meet the morning after the bonfire; it took you more time to come to me. The knowledge of the past does not change what is or has been. Charlie loves you, you are his daughter; even your fey father understands this. The moment he left you with them, you became their daughter. With the death of their daughter in his arms, he mourned her, as he would have you. He buried her as though she were his because she had become you for him as you had become her for them."

"What now?"

"Now you finish your dinner before it gets cold." She nodded to my plate and I took another bite.

After chewing and swallowing, I spoke again, "My mother had a brother; he's a vampire."

"I was at the meeting of the Elders when Sam told them."

"Why?"

"I wished to be."

"Sam doesn't want me near him."

"What do you want?"

"To know him. To know her. I don't think they will hurt me."

"And Sam?"

"He is afraid that they will. His instincts tell him to lock me up."

"They are his mortal enemy and his instinct is to protect you. Do you fault him for this?"

"I fault him for trying to control me, to make decisions for me and lock me away like a disobedient child unable to make the right choices."

"If a coven of nomads came through and Sam went after them alone how would you feel?"

"Scared, pissed off he did something so reckless, but it's not the same. The Cullen coven aren't human drinkers, they have a treaty with the pack and Emmett is my uncle, my blood."

"You went alone to see a coven of vampires, they might choose to hunt animals but they are not infallible and you are their preferred and natural food source. One little slip to them would be your life."

"I understand why he was angry I went with just Emily but he doesn't want me to see them at all."

"You fault him for his fear?"

"I fault him for trying to control me."

"You fear him."

"No." I shook my head. "I'm not afraid of Sam, he would never hurt me."

"You fear him." She repeated, "You fear Sam controlling you, hurting you the way David did."

"No." I insisted.

"You do not trust Sam and so you fear him."

"I trust him. I love him. Sam would never hurt me."

"Yes he will. He will lock you up here in La Push. He will keep you from your family and friends, just like David did. Sam will control and cage you. He is David. You cannot love him. You do not trust him. He will only hurt you."

"No!" I shouted at her standing up. "Sam is nothing like David! He loves me! He would never hurt me!"

"Then why do you hate him?"

Her words slammed into me and I felt off balance, stumbling as I sat back in the chair. I felt tears begin to fall, "I don't hate Sam. I'd never hate Sam."

"You fear him. You do not trust him. In every way you can, you hurt him. You tear him apart. From the moment you met him you fought against him."

"I love Sam."

"Then why do you fight him? Why do you hate him?"

"I don't, I would never hate Sam." I sobbed.

"Tell me why you fight him, why you fear him. Why don't you want him? Why don't you want him to want you?"

Her final words snapped something in me, "Because I don't deserve him!" I shouted at her, "I'm broken. I'm broken and scarred inside and he is perfect and good and should be with someone beautiful and whole, who can love him right. He should be with Leah!" I broke down in great heaving sobs, pushing my plate forward as I crossed my arms on the table and cried into them.

I felt Lore move to stand by me and hug me. She held me while I cried and when the sobs gave way to deep breaths and a few stray tears she guided me up and to my room. I curled onto the bed as she ran her hand over my forehead and the top of my hair. She sang to me in a soft crooning voice, the words not ones I understood but still soothing. I drifted off, still crying softly.

The next morning I woke up with the early light falling across my swollen eyes. I pushed myself up and went to shower.

When I was dressed, I went in the kitchen and saw Lore already up and puttering about the kitchen. It was just barely seven.

"You did not eat more than three bites last night." Lore told me cracking an egg into a skillet. "Pour yourself some coffee and sit."

I poured myself a mug and sipped it gratefully sitting in the same chair. "Teala…"

She interrupted me before I could say more, "First you will eat and then we will talk more."

I nodded acceptance and sipped at my coffee until she placed our breakfast on the table and sat across from me. We ate in silence.

It was not until we were washing up that she spoke to me again, "What did you learn last night?"

"That I am even more fucked up than I thought."

"Language Luna." She tsked as she dried the skillet.

I set the last clean dish into the drying rack and pulled the pug before moving to wipe down the counter. "What was the point of it?"

"Tell me more about David." She said instead of answering.

"What more is there to say?"

"You said he was your boyfriend and slowly he began to take control. Tell me about before that. Tell me about when you met him. What was he like? Why did you like him? What was your first date?"

I sighed, "I don't know. He was good looking and smart. He took me to dinner."

She shook her head and we went to sit out back on an old porch swing. "Tell me what he looked like. Tell me about how you felt, when you first met him, when you first kissed."

I sighed again and bit back tears, "David, was, well he is from a very wealthy family. They live in Scottsdale, its very near Phoenix. He was, is well educated. He spoke in this way that made you think he knew things, like you should listen to him. He was also beautiful. Not like the wolves or the vampires but in a different way. Sam exudes power, sex, authority and control. David had a different kind of confidence, an arrogance that made him seem so strong and sure of things. He was not very tall, nothing like Sam but still taller than me by a few inches. He had this light brown hair he kept spiked and bright green eyes, they were sort of like emeralds. He was always tanned and had broad shoulders. He held himself with this attitude that he owned wherever he was, like he belonged there just because he chose to be there. I saw his arrogance as confidence. We met at a coffee shop and I was surprised when he spoke to me. He flirted and even came to sit with me, leaving his friends to sit on their own. I felt so flattered. He was so good looking and charming. I couldn't see why he was talking to me when so many other prettier girls were around."

"You had self confidence issues before him. It is likely why he chose you." Lore nodded. "You felt you did not deserve him, that he might leave you if you were not everything he wanted."

I nodded, "It was so small at first, I still can't understand how I let myself become what he made me."

"Sam is afraid to lose you, he does not want to change you, only to protect you, to take care of you." Lore told me quietly.

"I don't want him to protect me, I am not a child that needs to be taken care of. I want to be his equal."

"Do you not take care of him as well? Cook for him or other things?"

"It's not the same."

"You and Sam are not the same. You will take care of each other, it is what being partners is. He does things for you and you for him. He protects you and you comfort him. He bears a great burden of responsibility with the pack; you make that burden easier by supporting and loving him. If you and he were exactly the same, equal in everything you would not need each other. It is in your differences that you are able to fill what is missing in each other."

"So I just let him make decisions for my life? To control everything that might concern my safety? Should I never drive because of the possibility for an accident?"

"If Paul came today and said nomads were on our lands and we needed to go to the council house while they hunted them, would you fight him? Would you insist on staying here?"

I shook my head, "Its not the same."

"Would you?"

"No."

She smiled, "You would let him protect you."

I nodded, "Yes, if there were nomads here and Paul asked me to go where it was safe I would."

"Why? He would be telling you what to do, controlling your life, making your decisions."

"He would be asking me not ordering me." I argued.

"If you said no, Paul would toss you over his shoulder and carry you there." She told me with certainty.

I couldn't help but smile a little as I nodded in confirmation, "Yeah, he would. Paul is my brother, he'd do anything to protect me, even if I didn't like it."

"Sam is your mate, why is different for him to want to protect you as much?"

"It's different."

"Why?"

"Sam is my mate, not my brother, he is supposed to listen to me, to support me in my choices."

"Sam would support you in almost anything you chose to do but if you chose to cut your wrists he would stop you. He would listen to you and try to make it better but he would not allow you to hurt yourself anymore than he will allow another to hurt you. He is not fully a human man and as a wolf he has very strong instincts Bella. Most of those tell him to protect you at all costs."

"Seeing my uncle is not the same thing as attempting suicide." I insisted.

"To a wolf, his mate going to see a coven of vampires is putting herself in mortal danger."

"I just don't think they would hurt me and I need to know, I just don't understand why he wont try to understand that."

"Instincts are not rational Bella. You are asking him to fight who and what he is. As hard as he tries he cannot understand why you will not try to understand him."

"I do, I understand that they are enemies but the Cullen coven don't eat people and Emmett is my uncle."

"Come, let us work on the garden, there are many weeds to be pulled." Lore got up and went to a small shed, she handed me gloves and tools before leading me to a small vegetable garden and instructing me what to remove before moving over to another little garden of herbs.

We worked in silence for several hours, her words continuing in a circle around in my head.

"Time for lunch." She interrupted my thoughts.

We went inside and together made sandwiches. We sat at the table with some iced tea and ate. It wasn't until after we had tidied up that she spoke again. "I will teach you some of the things my husband taught me, healing tricks that will come in useful as Luna."

We went into the little living area and she gave me several books to read. They were all handwritten notes and drawings of herbs and flowers. I read them while she began to hum gently and work on some sewing. I read until supper, which we cooked together, then she sat me back in the living room and began to tell me stories of the tribe.

The next morning we ate breakfast and she had me working in the herb garden. After lunch I read more of the notebooks until dinner and then listened to the tribal legends until it was time to sleep.

Several days passed in this manner, we spoke very little outside whatever activity it was we were doing.

"Teala?"

"Yes Bella?"

We were sitting out on the porch, watching the stars as she told me stories behind them. I had been living with her just over a week.

"Why hasn't Sam come? Isn't he worried? Doesn't he feel the pull anymore? My heart aches and my chest hurts, it never goes away."

"He has come, he always comes in the night but sometimes in the mornings as well when he can see you working in the garden."

"I miss him." I whispered looking up at the moon.

"Yes Luna. I know."

"I'm scared I've lost him." She said nothing. "I don't need to see Emmett. I don't need to ever find out about him or Katherine or the fey. I just want Sam to come and take me home." She nodded, still saying nothing. "What do I do Lore? I can't just sit here, I can't lose him."

"You said to me he should be with Leah. That you do not want him."

I shook my head, my eyes filling with tears, "I never said I didn't want him."

"No?" I felt her eyes on me, "but you did say he should be with Leah did you not? So now you can stay with me and he can watch over you to satisfy the imprint. Let his broken heart heal. He does not love her but Leah loves him still. She will comfort him."

I growled, surprising myself with the sound, "No. Sam is mine. He's mine and I'm his. Leah can go find her own imprint."

"My husband once told me that love is possession. I said to him that no man would ever own me; I was not a thing to be possessed. He said to me that loving someone, loving a mate, is possessing them so fully that they in return possess you. My husband possessed me, he owned my very soul I loved him so much and in return, I owned his because he loved me with all that he was. Sam loves you like that. It is more than the imprint telling him you are the most important thing in his world and need to be protected and cared for, telling him to be whatever you want him to be. No, though that drives his need to protect you it is more than that. He loves you so much that his very soul is yours. You cannot lose him because he belongs to you."

"Why does he stay away then? Why did he even leave me?"

"You tell me."

I closed my eyes, blocking out the pain, "I'm damaged, broken. He doesn't want to marry me. I have to many scars." I felt the tears slip out and trail down my cheeks. "I disobeyed him and he's punishing me. It's worse than David. I'd rather he hit me. Anything but leave me."

"Sam has not left you Luna. He will never leave you." Lore leaned over and patted my hand, "It is time to sleep now. Tomorrow is another dawn."

I rose to my feet knowing she would not speak to me more tonight and went inside to my room. I lay on the bed staring up at the ceiling, trying to figure out my own twisted thoughts. Did I really think it would be better if Sam hit me? Did I hate myself that much? I cried myself to sleep thinking that yes, maybe I did. It wasn't that I feared or didn't trust Sam. I feared and didn't trust myself. I didn't hate him I hated me and that was why I didn't want him to want me, because I was damaged, broken, unworthy.

**Sometimes you gotta get worse before you can get better. Bella is facing her own feelings and buried emotions. **


	34. Chapter 34

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts I will update as often as I can. PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

I woke up the next morning and had a shower, deciding that today I would go see Paul. This was not going to be an easy conversation but I needed to know, had his mother loved his father? Was that why she kept taking him back? Because being apart was more painful than the bruises and broken bones?

I had my breakfast with Lore and as we cleaned up, I asked her about leaving.

"Teala, is it alright if I go see Paul today?"

"I am not your mother and you are a grown woman, where you choose to go you need only your own permission."

I blushed and nodded, "I just, well, I meant if there was anything you wanted us to do today, if you maybe needed me for something. Or if maybe it was a bad idea to see the pack with this whole Sam thing." I mumbled the last.

"Today is no more significant than yesterday. If it is your wish to see Paul then go to see him."

"What about Sam?"

"Paul is your brother, Sam would not stop him from seeing you."

"No only my uncle."

Lore sighed, "Emmett is a vampire Bella. It is not the same."

"So I should forget him?"

"Last night you said you did not need to see him. That all you needed was Sam. Today you return to the resentment that he is afraid for you."

I sighed knowing she was right, "Sam isn't here though is he? He isn't coming to take me home. He's given up. He just walked away from me." I bit back fresh tears.

"Go, see your brother Luna." She hugged me before pushing me to the door.

I wiped at the tears and drove to Paul's place. I sat in the truck staring at it a moment and saw Sam leave out the back door and disappear into the woods. I stared at the spot he had disappeared through until my door creaked open. I unclipped my seat belt and slid into Paul's arms.

He hugged me tightly to him for a moment and then began walking us to the house where Emily was standing on the porch watching us.

"Can we go to the cliffs Paul?"

He nodded and changed our direction. Neither of us speaking again until we were sat leaning against our log, looking out over the horizon.

I took a deep breath and finally asked the question I had come to, "Did she love him?" He turned to look at me confused, "Your mother, did she love your father?"

He frowned thinking and then shrugged, "Maybe. I suppose she did, she must have to keep letting him back. I think she needed him. That she was afraid to be without him, afraid of being alone. I don't know if she loved him or just didn't love herself or me enough."

I leaned into him, "I'm sorry Paul."

"Why do you ask?"

"Last night I asked Teala, Lore, why Sam didn't come to check on me, why he didn't feel the pull anymore. I feel it all the time, the tightness in my chest, the ache in my heart." I felt a few tears fall but ignored them, "My soul hurts."

"I know. I can feel how sad you are but Bell he does check on you, so do I. He feels it, he fights it but it hurts him more than you can know."

I nodded, "Lore told me he comes in the night and some mornings while I work in the garden. Its not enough, it still hurts. All the time it hurts."

"I'm sorry little sister." He hugged me into his side; "I wish I could make it better. We all do. He's ordered the pack to leave you alone. You can come to us but we can't go to you. Leah, Jared, Jake, they are all pissed. They worry about you."

"He ordered you to stay away from me?"

"He ordered us to leave you alone, said if you wanted us you could come to us but we were not to pressure you. I go with him some nights, to ease the strange imprint we have, it doesn't help much, I can feel your sadness."

"I'm sorry Paul."

"What does it have to do with my mother?"

"I asked Lore why if he loves me he stays away. She asked me to tell her. I told her what it felt like." I shifted away from him a little and turned to face him, fresh tears falling silently down my cheeks, "I told her it felt like he was punishing me. That he is giving up because I am to damaged, to broken to marry."

"You are not worthless or broken. We are all a little damaged Bella but Sam loves you. It is nothing like my parents, Sam wouldn't hurt you, not ever."

I looked away from him again, out over the water, "But he is. I just had to know, I had to know if she loved him. I don't understand what she did to you. I could never understand that but I understand why she took him back, if she loved him."

"Bella?"

"It hurts Paul. More than anything, David ever did to me. If he is punishing me for disobeying him, for seeking out the Cullen's and for wanting to know my uncle, if he is then I would rather he hit me. I would rather he hit me than leave me."

I could feel Paul shaking beside me. I wiped at the tears continuing to silently fall in steady streams. "I'll be with Lore. Tell Sam I won't leave. I can't leave. I love him, it scares me but I can't not love him, I tried but I can't." I got up and walked away back towards his house. I could feel the movement of the air as he exploded behind me into the wolf; his howl was anguished and angry. I just kept walking. Emily was standing out on the porch when I cleared the woods around his house.

"Bella? What happened? I heard Paul howl, what's going on."

I shook my head and walked over to my truck. I swiped at the tears, trying to clear my vision enough to drive. My hands were shaking on the steering wheel.

Lore was waiting for me, sitting on the porch. I climbed out of the truck and walked up the porch steps to her.

"You sit Luna. I'll make us some tea."

I sat on the porch shivering despite the heat of the summer day. Movement in the woods caught my eye as Lore came out and handed me a mug.

"The wolves are checking on you." She nodded to the trees.

I shook my head; "Sam has forbidden them from coming here, from talking to me unless I go to them. It's him or Paul. Likely, it's Paul, checking to be sure I didn't drive into a ditch."

"What happened on your visit with your brother?"

"I asked him if his mother loved his father."

"Why?"

"To know if that was why she let him back. If the pain of his fist was less than the pain of his leaving."

"You think you are like her?"

"Paul once told me I was stronger than her. She let him back in, every time he hit her, abandoned her, she took him back. Paul thinks I am stronger because I left David but I didn't love David, not really, he made me feel special in the beginning and then like I was lucky to have him in my life but it wasn't love. I love Sam and I would take him back, every time he left me, I would take him back. I would rather he hit me than left me. I am not stronger than she was. I am weak. I love him with all of me, and its not enough because I'm broken. This is worse, much worse than what David did. He only broke my body; he damaged my soul and broke my body. Sam has stolen my heart and broken my soul. He left me. I wasn't worth the fight." I stood up and went inside, curling on my bed, I cried myself to sleep.

The next morning Lore and I went back to our quiet routine. Breakfast with the dawn, work in the garden or on the house, have lunch, study in the afternoon, make supper together, spend the evenings listening to her stories and go to bed. The days slipped past flowing from one week to the next as the heat of the summer grew. The calm of my routine was broken only by my thoughts of the past and the future. While I found peace living in the woods with Lore she would not let me hide from my fears.

"Tell me something Luna."

"I am not the Luna." I replied, resting my notebook on my chest, swinging in the hammock as I turned my head to look at her. "The Luna is the mate of the Alpha."

"You are still Sam's mate."

"I have lived with you for several weeks. He haunts your woods but never comes for me. None of the pack comes, not even the imprints. Kim was my friend; she is under no Alpha command to stay away. I am not Luna. I am Sam's imprint and he has chosen not to take me as his mate. He has chosen to exclude me from the pack. I am just Bella."

"Alright Bella."

"What is it you wish to ask me?"

"Your uncle, have you contacted him?"

"You would know if I had Teala so I assume you want to know why I have not contacted him." At her nod I continued, "Part of me still wants to know him, to know who my mother was. Part of me wants to stay here, hidden in the woods, where time has no meaning, where I am not who I was, I don't feel broken here. Who he is, who she was it doesn't change anything. To leave here is to be out there. It's to face the fact that Sam left, he and the pack have abandoned me, even Charlie stays away."

"They all check on you."

"Talking to you is not the same."

"You could go see them."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"The same reason I can't call Emmett. Leaving here is being out there and I'm not ready. I don't want to go back to feeling broken. For the first time I feel peace. I have the stability I wanted when I moved to Forks. Even the pain is a constant and it numbs me to the world. I do not blame Sam for leaving or for staying away. I do not blame him for keeping the pack away or even for trying to forbid me from seeing Emmett."

"Why?"

"Sam left because I broke him. He is keeping the pack away so that it is not hard for me to see the anger and pain we are causing them through each other. With Emmett, I cannot blame him for trying to protect me, for being afraid."

"What do you blame him for?"

"Nothing." I shook my head. "I did this."

"So how do you fix it?"

"I don't know. I don't think I can."

"What do you want Bella?"

I sighed, "Sam. I want Sam. I want to fall asleep wrapped in his warmth. I want to feel safe and loved. To cook for him, to laugh with him, to feel his hands on my body, to hear his voice, his growl, to smell his forest after the rain scent and see his eyes dark with desire. I want to love him."

"What are you afraid of?"

"Everything." I sighed again, "I fear the past and the future. I am afraid of what the present is doing to Sam and the pack."

"I think it is time for you to go home."

"Sam is my home Teala. He does not want me."

"He has always wanted you Bella."

"I did not want him to want me so he doesn't."

"What do you want Bella?"

"I want to marry Sam. I want the life I threw in his face."

"What about Emmett?"

I sighed, "I don't know."

"What do you want?"

"To talk to him, to know what he knows and find some kind of closure for us both. I still want to know who my mother was and what Dr. Cullen might know of the fey. If something comes after me here, I have to know what it is or at least as much as I can. I have to know how to protect them. How can I lead something dark and evil to the people I love? If I know more about them, about what I am and where I come from then maybe I will be able to protect them if it ever comes for me."

"This is what you should have told Sam. This need to protect him and the others, it is something the wolf can understand. You are Luna; it is your instinct to protect the pack, to guide them through the dark night, the young maiden, their gentle sister to protect and care for, the mother to protect and love them and the wise crone to teach them patience, trust and love. Sam is Alpha, he must guide them, he is their friend but also their leader, the decisions he makes can cost them their lives, it is not an easy role to fill. You help him do that by being his support, by taking care of them and he must support you in this. You have to trust each other."

I nodded, "I trust Sam."

"Do you?"

"I don't trust me."

"We all make mistakes Bella. When you met David, you opened yourself to love and when you needed to you did end it. It was his weakness and evil that hurt you and he has suffered pack law for it. Even there, you showed him mercy they would not have. You moderated their actions teaching them mercy."

"I didn't want them to become murderers. Protecting the tribe from Leeches is different. That is just defending themselves and their people, going after David was vengeance, he deserved to pay for what he did but killing him would have been wrong."

Lore nodded in agreement. She studied me for a moment before speaking again, "Are you afraid of Sam?"

"I'm afraid of loving him."

"Why?"

"Things are to good, to perfect, nothing easy like that is real, it doesn't last."

She laughed, "You and Sam have not had it easy Luna. Kim and Jared, they have it easy, the biggest hurdle that faced them was and is her mother but Kim has chosen to love Jared, what others think or want she does not care. They are happy. Emily and Paul had it easier than you as well. Paul was afraid of himself but Emily would not let him hide from her. She loved him when all he knew was anger and pain. She was his rock and still is. You and Sam, you have not had it easy, from the first time you met it was a struggle."

"Being with him is easy, not just the sex, but just being with him, the quiet moments of the day when all the world seems to disappear and its just him and I. Life is perfect then. I'm not broken, there is no past or future, only Sam and that moment."

"You are not broken Luna, your soul is a little damaged and you have scars that will never fade but you have never been broken."

I nodded, biting back tears. "It's still too good, just being next to him, it's too perfect, it can't be real, that kind of peace and love just doesn't exist outside of romance novels. It doesn't last in the real world, something always comes to take it away."

"Those are the moments that make life worth living Luna. The best moments of my life were the ones where my husband and I sat on the porch watching the sun go down; we did not speak, only sat together. The peace in my soul was complete. You must learn to accept the good things and not focus so much on the possibilities for bad in the future let all the problems of the past and the present fade away and accept the love of your soul mate. Everything happens for a reason Luna. You are Sam's reason. All that he has been through, all that he is and all that he does it is for you."

"I am not worth his suffering."

"Tell me Bella. If you could change it all, go back and never date David, would you?"

"Of course."

"If you were never with David, if he never broke you, then you would not have come to Forks. You would not have become Sam's imprint and the fey part of you would never have reached out to Paul and soothed the pain in his spirit. Sam would be forever without the one who eases the stress of this life and Paul would forever have a part of his spirit broken, a sadness that ate away at his soul."

Lore got up and went into the house, leaving me to sit on the porch, looking out over the woods, thinking about her words. She never said much and half the time the things she said confused me but her wisdom was always there, guiding me through the fear and darkness.

After a while I got up and went into the house, Lore was in the kitchen mixing herbs together.

"I would live it again for them." I told her quietly sitting in my spot at the worn old table. "All of it, if I could go back, knowing what I know I would live it all again for them."

"Sam and Paul would tell you no. They would not want you to suffer."

"They are worth it."

"So are you. To them, you are worth any amount of pain. This is why they haunt the woods, why for weeks the pack has suffered without you. They would live through anything for you as you would live through anything for them, it is what love is Luna. Accept it, open yourself to it, you are worth it, they are worth it. Take the risk. Take a running jump off the cliff and move forward. The more you hold onto fear the more you let the past and David control you now."

"How Lore? How do I fix what I broke?"

"What do you want Luna?"

"Sam, I want Sam and our life together."

"The one you threw in his face."

"Yes."

"When he marks you the cage doors will close, you will be trapped in this life, in La Push."

"Being with Sam isn't a prison sentence, being without him is." I bit back tears, "Love is a gift. I don't want to leave La Push. I never really did."

"He will always tell you what to do. It is in his nature both as a wolf and as a man. He will always be over protective and possessive."

"He might always tell me but I wont always do it. I understand his need to protect me as I would want to protect him, a relationship is about compromise and love is possession, I love him so much that he owns my very soul."

"As you own his." I wiped at a stray tear and nodded my head. Lore set the mortar and pestle on the counter and walked over to me. "I think it is time you went home Luna."

"Sam is my home."

"Then it is time to teach him that. Your wolf has scars of his own Luna; he is not without fear and issues of his own. First, he must learn that you will not leave him. That La Push is your choice and it is time for him to come home. He kept the pack away, now you will keep the pack close, you will push him to face his own fears and accept your love as you have learned to accept his."

I bit back fresh tears and nodded, "I'll go pack."

Lore nodded and turned back to her herbs, "I will come with you if you like but you must stay on your own."

"No, I can do this on my own."

She nodded again, "You are much stronger than you know Luna."

"Thank you Teala."

"Come back to see me when you need to Bella. Trust your instincts, you will know what to do."

I went to hug her and she wiped her cool, dry hand over my tears, "Everything will work out well. Remember this last thing, sex does not cure everything but when words fail and fears hide us away sometimes the best attack is on their instincts. Once, before my marriage, my husband and I fought, I danced with another man, his jealousy reminded him of his love for me. You can use many instincts against a wolf Bella. Remind him he loves you; do not fight fair because everything is fair when love is at war. Attack him where he is weakest." With that, she kissed my forehead and pushed me gently to the hall.

It didn't take long to pack up my things. Her last words confused me and yet I knew as in all the things she said to me there was wisdom in them. The sun was setting as I got in my truck and drove to the little cottage Sam and I called home. It took me a moment to get out of the truck. I wondered if Sam were there or if he had been staying with the pack, unable to face the space we had shared, Maybe with Paul, or had he just been there on pack business that morning so many weeks ago? Where was he now? Did he know I had come home?

I took a deep calming breath and got out of my truck, determined to begin my life here, the life I had chosen and committed to and hopefully, one day that life would become the life I really wanted, a life with Sam.

**There was a bit of a time jump in this chapter so just to clarify, Bella spent several weeks with Lore and it is the beginning of August when she returns home (to Sam's house).**


	35. Chapter 35

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts I will update as often as I can. PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

SAM POV

I lay outside Old Teala's house listening to my Bella's heartbeat. Every instinct I had was screaming at me to go inside, pick up her sleeping form and carry her home. It has been a week, one long painful week since I have held her in my arms. I pushed down those instincts forcing myself not to move. It would get easier; it had to get easier. I had done this for her; I would do anything for her.

When Paul had come outside and told me Bella was ok I had practically run to the house. I fought down the instincts to grab her to me, to hold her tightly in my arms and show her how much I loved her, show her she was mine. My control was hanging on a thread though and she quickly snapped it. I knew I was rough with her but she had matched me, our passion feeding into each other. I needed to claim her but just as badly, I needed her to claim me. When she had flinched from me, it had felt like someone had punched through my lungs and removed them. She wouldn't let anyone but the girls near her and logically I knew it all went back to that bastard David. I wanted to go and tear him apart, this time I wouldn't leave him breathing. I couldn't though. She didn't want that, she was to good to want his death on our hands. So I had lain outside, shaking even as the wolf, the pack laying out on either side of me watching the house, hating him.

I was grateful when Paul's thoughts drifted to Rylan. He had been there for her, meeting her just after all this had happened, he had seen her through the dark, that's what she had told us. I thought one word at him but he understood, _go._ He called phased and called Rylan. We both wanted to be the one to comfort her, I wanted to take away all her fear and pain but right then she didn't want me. I couldn't be rational about this. I had been terrified when her scent was caught along the borders, coming from the Cullen property. I could so easily have lost her. I needed her to be ok, I needed her to be safe, it was killing me not to have her wrapped securely in my arms but I couldn't scare her. I couldn't see her flinch from me again.

I had never been so grateful to anyone as I was to Rylan when he showed up. I saw through Leah that he sat on the floor, leaning his back against the couch, not touching her. He just talked to her, about nothing, his voice, his calm seeped into her and she came back to us. Just for a moment but I knew then he would make it ok. Whatever had snapped in her, whatever my harsh words had snapped in her, he brought her back.

As I had lain with her in my arms while she slept I thought about all the things I wanted to protect her from, she had suffered to much to ever feel pain or fear again, I had to be sure she was always protected, always safe. It was more than protecting her, I had to make sure she was happy, that she had everything she could ever want and somehow I had to balance that out with keeping her safe. Vampires were not safe.

I knew I couldn't keep her here though. If I tried to she would leave me or she would fear me and grow to resent and hate me. It seemed so easy with Jared and Paul. Kim had loved Jared for years, she had accepted the imprint and claimed him as hers. Jared didn't need to mark her, he wanted to but he was content with how happy she was with him. Why couldn't Bella be happy with me? Why couldn't I seem to make her happy? Even Paul, it was harder for him and Emily then it had been for Jared, we all lived with a small piece of the pain he felt at having scarred his imprint, but Emily had forcefully stated her case and claimed her mate. Bella accepted the imprint, she was even trying to embrace it but it wasn't what she wanted, being with me wasn't making her happy, not like Kim and Emily were happy. Deep down she didn't want this life, didn't want me and eventually she would hate me for tying her here to me. If I loved her I had to do what was right for her and if she didn't want this life I knew I had to let her go.

In the morning I had woken up to an empty bed, I listened and heard her talking about the wedding with Rylan. I had wanted so badly to pretend that everything was ok but it wasn't. We still had to talk about the Leech. I had to keep her safe. As soon as she said La Push was a cage, I had known my fears were right. Bella would grow to resent and then hate me for trapping her here. I had to let her go. I knew she wouldn't leave me. She was to good, to compassionate and loving. She knew what the imprint was, what it did to us, not just me but the whole pack, so she would never leave me. It nearly killed me to walk away from her but I did it. I did it for her, so she would have the life she wanted. I would find a way to protect her, to keep her safe and to satisfy the imprint as long as I could. I would do my best to keep the pack from feeling my pain.

I slept outside, curled near the tree line where I could still hear her heartbeat. In the morning, I ran to Paul's to shower and get ready for work. Everyday this week it had been the same. Work, run patrol, deal with any pack shit and watch Bella.

This morning was different though. I got back to Paul's and showered. Emily, bless her forced me to eat. I knew I had to. If Bella saw me and I was to thin she would worry about me and blame herself. I had to be strong for her. Once she was sure the pack and I would be ok, she would leave. She would be able to do whatever she wanted; I would find a way to be sure she was safe and happy. The thing that made this morning different was that as I ate I heard Bella's truck. I slipped out the back. If I saw her now, I'd beg her to come home, to stay with me. I had enough love for the both of us. If she would let me love her I would take care of her, keep her safe and give her anything in my power to give. Except what she wanted was her freedom and it was in my power to give that to her. I had to give that to her. So I left through the back and disappeared into the woods.

My heart stopped when I heard Paul's anguished howl a little while later. He had been with Bella, with my Bella and something was wrong. I burst into my wolf and ran towards where I knew Paul was my only thought my imprint. A second later and he was barreling into me, his jaws snapping at my neck. My sole focus on Bella fell away and I registered his thoughts, each one twisting a knife in my heart.

_You bastard! How could you do this to her? You fucking asshole! How could you purposely hurt her like this?_ His mind shouted at me as he snapped at my hind leg. I dropped to the ground as his mind ran over and over again the conversation he'd had with my Bella. I felt his teeth sink into my shoulder.

_Paul Stop!_ The latent Alpha timbre tinged Jacob's voice and Paul dropped to his haunches, growling at me as his mind repeated the broken look in her eyes as she told him I had hurt her more than David had. As she told him, I was punishing her. She told him she would rather I beat her than this.

I whimpered and dropped my head. Leah came over and licked the blood from the bite marks Paul had left. Her voice gentle, _Just go to her Sam. Go get her and take her home. You can work it out together._

_No._ I told her.The pack responded with a growl.

_Why not!_ Jake demanded, the Alpha timbre still coating his voice, he shook his head as though to clear away the almost command, _Please Sam. You are both hurting. We are all hurting. Just go and take her home._

_Take it Jake. You were born to be Alpha._ I told him instead.

_No._ He growled _You are Alpha._

_Bella._ Paul growled at us. _This is about Bella. I don't care which of you is Alpha. I care about my sister!_ Her sad eyes flashed through his mind again.

_You know I am not trying to punish her Paul. I would do anything for her. This is for her. She wants her freedom and I am giving it to her. She feels responsible for our pain because of the imprint. She feels imprisoned by it. La Push is her prison cell and we are her captors. I will not watch her come to resent us, to hate me. I would protect her from anything, even from us._ I could see the thoughts running through a few of their minds as they thought about going to her, they knew I would give in to her if she called for me and they wanted to ask her to. I let the power of Alpha fill me as I spoke my next words; _None of you are to go to her. None of you are to contact her._

_You want to command me away from my sister! She is my imprint Sam, maybe not the same as you, but still an imprint. You can't so this! _ Paul growled at me, ready to attack again.

_She is part of the pack Sam; you can't order us to abandon her._ Leah spat at me.

_If she wants the pack in her life she can come to you. It has to be her choice. I will not allow you to attempt to influence and guilt her into forcing herself to embrace this life. She has to want it, to want us._ I turned my focus to Paul, _Satisfy the imprint, watch over her as I do, she came to you today, if this life is her choice she will come to you again._

_She'll feel like we don't want her. Sam, Bella will feel like we are abandoning her. I know her; it will hurt her if we just cut her out of our lives._ Jake argued.

_Take command if you don't like it Jake but Bella is my imprint not yours._ Jake growled, we all knew how much he had wanted her to be just like we all knew he would not take the Alpha, not yet. He wasn't ready and if you asked Jake, he never would be. I figured he'd take it after he finished high school, so sometime in the next two years. I looked from him to Paul, Leah and then the others._ I will not force her into a life she does not want. I will not allow all of you to guilt her into staying. You know her and she will suffer so that we don't feel any pain. Bella doesn't want this life._ I replayed the argument in my mind; Bella telling me La Push was a cage. All of the wolves were lying low to the ground now. _You will leave Bella to live her life. It has to be her choice to come to the pack._

_And when she does?_ Leah demanded.

_If she does_ I corrected_ then you are not to pressure her about staying, do not make her feel guilty because the imprint hurts me. I can deny her nothing. If this life is her choice, if being with the pack is her choice then I would not forbid you from being with your pack sister._

_Make it her choice! _Leah spat at me, _Fight for her dammit!_

_Enough!_ I ordered her. _Collin, Seth patrol._ _The rest of you, get to work or whatever you have today. Paul, Jared I expect Emily and Kim to abide by this as well._ Both of them let out a low growl.

_This is a mistake Sam. _

_Enough Paul._

_No. _He spat._ If I ever see my sister the way she was today again, I will make it my goal to tear you apart. No baby Alpha order will stop me._

Jake growled at the reference to himself and then turned to me, _I ever see Bells like that again and I wont try to stop him._

_I'll fucking help him._ Leah spat. The three of them disappeared into the woods. Leah's parting shot kicking me while I was down. _Don't worry about me guilting her into taking you back. If she forgives me for not being there for her and shows up at my doorstep I wont try to get her to make this easier for you, you deserve it to hurt, you should be fighting for her, fucking coward._ I felt her mind disconnect from mine as she chose to go the rest of the way back on two legs. I wondered if she as right or if our own past issues were clouding her thinking.

After a moment Jared's thoughts from beside me filtered into my mind, _We've been in each others heads a long time now Sam, much longer than the others except Paul who's been with you almost as long. I get where you are coming from, I do, but I think you're wrong. Bella has a lot of damage left over from that prick and part of me still wants to hunt him down and finish the job, but underneath all that pain and fear, she loves you. She already chose you Sam. She made that choice before you told her about the imprint. I am only going to say this once because Kim wasn't there and it isn't my place, but I can imagine it being Kim and I'd have been pissed with her for it, but I can understand why she went. Paul can to and that's why he's forgiven her for taking Emily out there. Bella has the biggest and kindest heart I've ever known; she loves more fiercely and fully than most people. It's a weakness in some ways but also her greatest strength. She instills loyalty and the power of her heart heals us, not just Paul. Look closely at the pack; in the short time she's been here she's touched all of us in some way, I see it the most in my Kim she was a little lonely before Bella came now her life in La Push is one that she is more than content with, she is happy. I see it in Leah too; she is much more at peace with being a wolf. We were all bitter about the change, being trapped here, well all but Seth but kids a little strange,_ we heard him growl a little and then laugh, he loved being a wolf. Jared just continued his thought, _she has helped take away that anger from Leah, made her proud of what she is, made her feel loved and accepted. The pack is sort of a boys club and she didn't fit but she didn't fit with the imprints either. Now she feels special instead of a freak. Now she feels like she fits with the girls and has embraced her place with us._

I knew he was right. It wasn't just that Bella had trusted her with her darkest memories; Bella had included her with everything the imprints did, made her a friend. Emily and Kim were friends, connected by the pack but they had never really spent much time together without the pack. I had not even considered how lonely she might have been separated from other friends.

Jared cut into my thoughts again, getting to his point. _With a heart like Bella's she'd want to know her family, she has a right to it, Leech or not and if she wants to go talk to him again I'll take her to the lines to meet them myself._ Jared got up and disappeared through the trees, his mind disconnecting with mine quickly after.

His absence was quickly filled with the thoughts of Jake from in the woods near his house. _He's right Sam. I might be pretty new to your mind and Bella and I might not be close like we used to be but she has always had this amazing capacity to accept people and love them with all that she is. Family is important to her, both her blood and the one she's built around her. She just had her whole messed up life shot to pieces and then stomped on. It's more than just wanting to know who she is and where she came from. Bella is selfless, she loves with all that she is and she will suffer to keep anyone she loves from feeling any pain. She puts us all miles ahead of herself and she was just told that some big bad hunted down her aunt and it killed her mate and brother. As an infant she was in danger from that same big bad and now she's been told it could be hunting her like it did her aunt and that puts her mate and her brother and all of the rest of us that she loves at risk. Knowledge is power and if knowing who she is and where she came from can help, even the smallest bit, to keep us all safe, then she would walk through the fires of hell to get that information. I hate those damn leeches, I didn't ask to be a wolf but because of them my life was hijacked and I was turned into a mythical freak. I don't want to be Alpha or chief of the tribe, I want to be a teenager, but I am a wolf and if you ever back down I'll be forced to become Alpha. I would just as soon rip and burn the fuckers before anyone else in this tribe gets sucker punched with this fate, but for Bella I'll roll over and play nice and go with Jared to take her to talk to the blood sucker. For two reasons, one she might just go alone again anyways and two because Jared is right, she has a right to know him. Just like she has the right to still be a little fucked up over what that fucking asshole in Phoenix did to her. She's already chosen you man, now you need to be there for her, to help her heal._ With his last thought his mind also disconnected from mine, leaving only the minds of Collin and Seth connected to mine and they ran patrol.

I let Jared and Jake's words flow through my mind again, Bella's sad eyes haunting me from Paul's memory. I got up and ran around the perimeter, ordering Collin and Seth to go home, needing to think and to run. When I was sure La Push was secure, I headed back to Old Teala's place. When I was young and my mother had been working I would come here and she would tell me the legends of our people, I was grateful I knew our histories the day I first found myself on four paws, or I was after I stopped freaking out and started thinking clearly. I wondered then if our old wise woman didn't have some kind of gift for knowing what would be important in the future. In any case, I was grateful she had taken in and was caring for my Bella.

I could smell Paul in the trees and knew that before he had gone home to Emily he had checked on her. I also knew that as much as he might have wanted to the Alpha order kept him from going to her. I felt bad for that. I knew I was making Paul suffer and he was the last of my brothers to deserve more pain in his life but Bella came before him, she came before everything. I knew if the pack went to her she would force herself to stay, for their happiness. To take away their pain she would stay here and let the resentment build until her sweetness, her warm heart and her beautiful smile drowned in it

I lay outside the house thinking about everything I had learned today. I heard Old Teala moving about inside and the steady heartbeat of Bella in her room. It was only mid-afternoon but all the emotions of the day had tired her out. They had exhausted me. I curled up next to the tree truck nearest her room and let the gentle thrum of her heartbeat fill my senses.

Jake and Jared were right. Bella had every right to know her uncle, he was a vampire but I would be sure she was as well protected as possible when they met. If they could talk on the phone all the better but I would not try to stop her from spending time with him, out in the open, on the border of La Push lands and with a minimum of two pack members, more if his family were with him.

They were wrong about one thing though; Bella didn't choose this life or me. She accepted it after we had already closed the cage doors around her. She has such a warm heart that she did her best to embrace all of it so that none of us would have to suffer from the imprint. It made her desire me, even through her fears but I had let my desire for her, my love for her cloud me to the fact that while she felt the imprint, she didn't want to be with me. She just gave in to the imprint and then was trapped by her own soft heart once she learned about what imprinting was.

The days of summer began to pass, each day the same as the one before, each day painful with missing her. I did my best to keep my aching heart and the hole in my chest from affecting the pack. I made sure everything was running smoothly with patrols, kept the Elders up to date, worked, ran patrols and when I had time I watched my Bella. I always slept in my spot under the tree near her room just to be near her but some mornings, I also got to watch her working in the garden. She seemed to enjoy it. I stayed wolf more often then not, either running patrols or sitting in the woods near Old Teala's cottage to be near Bella.

Sometimes Paul came, I could smell him in the trees. He'd sit and watch her a while, always while I was not there, while I was not phased. Paul never ran patrol with me and always phased back as soon as he felt my mind connect with his. He ran patrol or went to Bella while I was working. We still worked together and talked during breaks but Paul had not and would not forgive me for hurting Bella, not until Bella herself did and was back in both our lives.

Leah forgave me. After a few days of angry thoughts, she showed up outside the cottage and sat next to me. I knew she still didn't agree with me but she knew I was only trying to give my imprint what she wanted most, her freedom. Instead of talking or fighting, she lay down next to where I sat and hummed softly in her head. After a while, she got up and left. We ran patrols together and her thoughts always stayed on the trees we passed, the scents of the forest and whatever song she was gently humming in the background. Underneath I could still feel her anger and bitterness as well as sorrow. We didn't talk about it, we rarely talked, just ran the borders together. When we weren't phased we kept everything to surface conversations. I knew it would be a while before Leah was able to fully forgive me and while she knew why I was doing this, she still didn't understand why. She didn't understand that I couldn't make Bella love me, I could make her mine but I wanted her heart, I wanted her to give it to me, to want to stay.

Jake was still angry with me but like Leah he did his best to understand. He knew how selfless Bella was and he didn't want her to feel like we trapped her here. He could understand how much I wanted her to choose me, not because she felt like she should so no one else had to suffer the pain of the imprint but because she wanted me. None of us wanted our imprints to feel like they didn't have the choice, they did. Just because we didn't, didn't mean that they shouldn't and we wanted them to. We just wanted their choice to be us.

Jared was not angry with me, he was supportive in his usual unassuming manner and yet at the same time he would let his own opinion flow through his mind in a way that made you think Jared knew exactly what he was talking about. He made you think he was right while you were not thinking clearly, usually this was a side thought that passed from his mind into mine. Jared felt that I should get Bella, take her home and work things out. He was also upset that Kim was unhappy, missing Bella and I think he might hate me a little for that. Our imprints always came first and I was inadvertently hurting his. His mind would flash to memories of Kim's laugh when she was with Bella and the sad smile she had now. Bella belonged here with us. All the pack thought it every time I was phased with them, they all missed her. They were equal parts angry with me and sorry for more. It wasn't a nice feeling to be in their heads but not bad either. None of them seemed to want to be in either Paul's or my mind. I scheduled Jared and Jake to run with him. Leah, Jared and Jake ran with me when I didn't run alone and the others ran in mixed pairs depending on their commitments. It wasn't the best schedule but I made it work for us.

I ate, worked, ran patrols, took care of any Alpha duties, slept and watched Bella. Each day passed one to the next with little notice and nothing to break the pattern. If Bella and Old Teala talked it was somehow always when I was not around. They seemed to say very little most days. A few comments about the garden and what the plants needed or other day to day things and every night they would sit outside and Old Teala would tell Bella all the old histories and legends she used to tell me as a boy. They never seemed to talk about the future or the past. I never heard them talk about the pack or anything outside this little plot of land set back into the woods. Each day passed with little to distinguish one from another, at least, not until the night Bella went home.

I was running patrol with Jake and we had split up, he was near my house when he heard music. I had hoped no one had broken in. When his one word thought, _Bella,_ slammed into me I went running.

I stopped in the woods edging the property, Bella's truck was parked in the front and all the windows were open, the lights on with the music turned up. I could distinguish Bella's sweet voice blending with the vocals of the song. I sank to the ground watching the house; my Bella had come home. Why? Had something happened? What did it mean?

_I'll finish running the lines. There hasn't been trouble in a long while._ Jake thought taking off into the woods. I just lay there, listening to my imprints voice as she sang along with the radio; my Bella had come home.

I know she was just on the other side of the res but it wasn't the same. Having her here helped to ease something inside of me and I felt a little more relaxed. I rested my head on my paws, I wasn't sure why she had come back, what it meant that she had or how long she would stay.

If she wanted me, if she called for me I would go to her but if she didn't I would be content to watch over her from the woods, protecting and loving her however she would let me. Tonight, though I wouldn't think about the future and all its questions, just for tonight I would listen to her move about our home, singing to the radio and let myself be happy, my imprint, my Bella had come home.


	36. Chapter 36

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

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Back to Bella…

When I went into the house, I realized my first thought was right. Sam had not come back. Everything was exactly how I had left it with a coat of dust covering everything from the weeks it had been left empty. It was also stuffy from being shut up in the summer sun.

I went into our room. The bed was still unmade from that morning. I put down my suitcase and opened the windows; walking through the house, I opened all the windows.

I went into the living room, turned on the stereo, and began to clean. I did the laundry, even washing our sheets, forcing myself to remove his scent though I wanted to curl up in it and not get out of bed again. I had to be strong. I dusted, swept, moped, cleaned the bathrooms, everything. I cleaned late into the night until the house was spotless. While I cleaned I did notice that someone had been in the house, not just Rylan who had packed up his things and gone back to Seattle but one of the pack, Paul or Jared, had been in the office. I went through and made sure all the papers were filed and organized before getting in the shower and washing the grime off. I remade our bed and crawled in the crisp clean sheets.

I slept like the dead but despite my late night, I was up with the sun as I had been every morning with Lore. I made coffee and breakfast, baking for the wolves.

I sat on the porch while the muffins baked, drinking my coffee and looking out at the woods. I felt more relaxed then I had even doing the same thing at Lore's, my soul knew I was home.

I went inside and showered and dressed in fitted black cargo Capri's and a tank, slipping on flip-flops, I painted my toes while the muffins cooled.

It was only eight when I got in my truck and drove to Paul and Emily's house. I took the containers of muffins and climbed out of my truck. I was unsurprised to see Paul standing at the door already; he would have heard my truck coming. I held out the tins and he walked over to take them.

"Morning Paul." I smiled at him and walked across the yard into his house, feeling his eyes on me.

"Bella!" Emily cried coming over to hug me.

I hugged her back, "Sorry about not coming by." I told her, squeezing her a little tighter before letting go.

She shook her head, "As long as you are ok."

"I will be." I told her with a smile. "I brought the boys fresh muffins. How is everything with the pack?"

"No vampires passing through." She told me going into the kitchen and pouring us both a mug of coffee.

Paul finally came into the house, setting the tins of muffins on the counter, "Bella I…"

"I'm sorry I upset you when I came here Paul. That was not fair to you."

"Are you ok?"

I shrugged not wanting to lie to my brother, "It has been a difficult few weeks. Very easy and relaxing too, Teala is good company."

He frowned at me, "Difficult and easy?"

I nodded, "Few things are only one thing or another Paul. It is difficult to be without Sam, it always hurts and there is always an edge of sadness when we are apart. Facing my issues is also no walk in the park but the days passed easily and quietly and I had a lot of time to think so it was relaxing." He nodded still frowning. "Are you working this morning?"

"Uh, yeah, we got a job doing an addition on a house in Forks."

"Well, make sure and take the muffins with you, I'm sure you will all need a snack later." I smiled at him and turned back to Emily. "I'd like to go to a nursery and get some things for a garden. When I first moved in I was just going to plant flowers but I'd like to do an herb garden as well. Do you know the best place to go?"

She nodded, "Sure, there is a good nursery in Port Angeles."

"Do you have time to go today?"

I could see her eyes water as she nodded again, "Yeah, of course."

"Great," I smiled at her, "Why don't I pick you up in an hour? I want to swing by and see if Kim wants to come as well."

"Sure."

"Ok, see you in an hour. Have a good day at work brother." I waved and headed out of the house, I could still feel both of their eyes on me. It was harder than I thought and easier too. I was still sad at her not coming to see me but I knew she had wanted to. She was only trying to do what was best for me. I could have just as easily come to see her and I didn't. Both of us waiting for the other to make the first move and it really was for me to make, this was about me and what I wanted after all.

I drove to Jared's house next; his mother opened the door when I knocked.

"Hello, Mrs. Pelletier is Kim home?"

"She is Bella. It is good to see you, my son and Kim have missed you."

"I've missed them too. My stay with Lore was necessary though."

She nodded, "She's helped you."

It was more of a statement than a question but I answered anyways, "She has helped me find peace within myself so that I can help myself."

She nodded, "Will you come in? Jared is already gone; he and Kim spend more and more time at Paul's house. It used to be that Paul spent most of his time here, at least as a boy he did. Now they are grown and he has his own home. I think Kim and Jared might buy a house near him. Those boys always were more like brothers. Do you think it is selfish of me to be glad my son will stay on the reservation?"

"Not at all. I think it is natural to want the people we love to be near us."

"How are things with you and Sam?"

"Krista?" I heard Kim's voice in the house.

"Oh Kim, dear, Bella is here for you. I just got distracted chatting. Do come in Bella."

"No thank you, Mrs. Pelletier, I just came to ask Kim if she would like to come with Emily and I to Port Angeles. I'm planting a garden at Sam and my place and need to go to the nursery."

"So everything with you two is alright? There have been mixed rumors about it all, these last several weeks."

"Sam and I will be fine. We have just decided to take a step back before the wedding to be sure it is not a rash decision. My parents married very quickly out of school and I do not want to make their mistakes, neither does Sam. Loving someone isn't always enough, you have to have the support, commitment and understanding to compromise and make a marriage work."

"That is a very wise thought." She nodded smiling, "Marriage is work, Kim and Jared have not had to face any real major bumps yet but I feel they have the strength of love to make it through. I'm sure you and Sam will as well. Going into a marriage with a clear head is the right way to do it, love and lust can cloud the reality of things all to well, especially when things are progressing as quickly as they seem to with you. I'm sure it will all work out just fine."

I smiled at her and nodded, "I think so too." Well I hoped so anyways.

"If you need any help with the wedding you feel free to let me know, I'm happy to lend a hand. I know Anne was making the wedding cake but I can help with invitations or decorations."

"Thank you Mrs. Pelletier. I will keep that in mind."

"Call me Krista dear. I'll let Kim here chat with you. I have a book or two on flowering gardens if you can use them, it was never my thing, can't stand the bugs."

I laughed, "Thanks Krista. I have what I need for now from Lore, mostly they are on herbs and flowers that can be used in cooking or medicines."

She smiled and nodded moving away from the door and back into the house.

"Bella." Kim grinned, "How are you?"

I shrugged, "I miss Sam. I miss all of you."

"We miss you to. So much."

"Do you have to work today or can you come with Emily and I to PA to buy some plants?"

"I'm free and ready. Just let me grab my bag." She disappeared and reappeared a second later. "Jared had patrol this morning, he told his mom he was stopping by Paul's for breakfast before work." She told me as we climbed into my truck.

"I figured, I was already at their place and Jared wasn't over."

"I'm sorry I didn't come to see you."

"Sam asked you not to, ordered the rest of the pack. It was for me to come see you. This has always been about what I want, about all of this being my choice. I'm sorry I didn't come to you sooner. I wasn't ready."

"You are now?"

"The scars David left are still there, they will always be there, but as much as he hurt me, he also gave me Sam. Everything happens for a reason and my past has all led up to my present. I cannot want to change that without wanting to change this and I would live all that again for Sam. He is worth any amount of suffering. I love him. I choose La Push and our life together. I want to be here, to be with him and the pack. This is my home, Sam is my home, the last thing I want is to ever lose that; I would never choose to leave."

"What's changed?"

"Let's talk about this later Kim. Emily will have the same questions and I have several of my own."

Kim nodded agreement, "Just one more?"

"Yes?"

"Is it true you left Lore's last night? Jake was on patrol and came to tell Jared you were home, windows open and music on."

"Yes, I was cleaning. It was time to go home. Staying with Lore helped me but I belong at home now."

"And we are really going to buy flowers so you can plant a garden there?"

"Flowers and herbs." I nodded.

"So you're home now, for good?"

I nodded again, "I'm home. I just have to wait for Sam to come back to me."

"He's pretty stubborn."

"So am I." Kim nodded, "I told Emily I'd be back to pick her up in an hour. Want to stop by the diner for coffee?"

"Sure." She unrolled her window and I turned up the music as I drove out to the diner. In the lot I recognized Jake's rabbit and Leah's old white Toyota corolla. Kim hesitated but I just took the keys out of the ignition and went in.

I saw Leah taking orders in the back, Sue behind the counter and Jake sitting with Embry at the counter. I went over and hugged Jake.

"Hey Jake. Hey Embry." I grinned at them and turned to Sue, "Good to see you Sue."

"You to Bella." She nodded. Jake and Embry hadn't recovered their shock at seeing me yet. "Can I get you some breakfast?"

"No thanks I ate a while ago but I'd love a cup of coffee."

"Sure, how about you Kim?"

"Coffee please."

"So Jake how's your summer? And Billy? Tell him I'll stop by and make dinner in a day or two. He must be loosing weight with only your cooking all summer. Charlie too. Have you seen my dad?"

"Um, yeah, uh, summers good, lot's of cars to fix. Dad will be happy to see you. Charlie's been over a few times, he's good."

"Embry?"

"Huh. Oh yeah Bella. Summer is great. How are you?"

I shrugged, "Good mostly. I miss you guys. Stop by the house for dinner one night this week ok. I miss cooking, it wasn't the same just Lore and I."

"Bella?" I turned at Leah's voice.

"Hello Leah."

"What are you doing here?"

"Having coffee with Kim until its time to pick up Emily." I shrugged. "How are you?"

"I've been better. Have you seen Sam and Paul?"

"I saw Paul this morning. Sam's not home, by the looks of things he hasn't been back in weeks."

"I could get him for you Bells." Jake offered.

I took the coffee Sue set down for me, she was listening as intently as the other four; "He knows where I am Jake, when he is ready to deal with everything he'll come home."

"So that's it? You aren't even going to try?" Leah glared at me.

"It has to be his choice as much as mine Leah. I don't know much about life or the world but I know I love him and for me that is all there is or needs to be. The details can be worked out but he has to want to be there, not because the imprint tells him to be but because it is what he wants."

"He loves you."

"This is about the strength of that love Leah. If we are going to make it then we have to be able to stand together and trust each other, even when it is hard. All of you kept telling me not to run from him. Well I'm not, I'm here, scarred and little bit broken but this is me and if he loves me then he needs to accept that. This is as perfect as I will ever be, I might not always do or say the things he wants me to, we will not always agree but he can't run from me when things are difficult either. If we fight then we fight but we have to love each other enough to stick through it." I turned slightly to look her in the eyes, "Sam is mine Leah. I might not deserve him. You might be better for him. He might have loved you and maybe he still does but he is mine and I am his so I don't really give a damn about the rest. If Sam chooses to stay away then that's fine, that is his choice, but this is my home now and the pack is my family, I am not going anywhere." I picked my coffee up off the counter and left cash for both Kim's and mine before moving over to a table.

Kim followed me with her own mug and sat silently across from me, "Bella, um,"

I cut her off, "I'd like to do a rather large herb garden outside the kitchen and some of flowers around the patio. It's the wrong season for planting bulbs but I'd rather plant already grown plants anyways. Maybe the herb garden on the side of the house and flowers in the back, with the pack messing around out back all the time it will be better not to have to much out there. What do you think?"

Kim nodded, "Some flowers will make the place look nice and the herb garden will be very useful."

"Yeah, I was thinking a vegetable garden as well but feeding the pack would need a whole freaking farm and as relaxing as gardening is I think I'll stick to herbs and flowers."

Kim and I talked for a while about the different things I wanted to plant and how I wanted them while we finished our coffee. I waved goodbye to the others when we left to pick up Emily.

We didn't talk much as we drove into Port Angeles, just listened to music and occasionally sang to the lyrics. At the nursery, we only discussed plants. When we left, the bed of my truck was almost over full.

"Do you want to get some lunch before we head back?" Emily suggested as we climbed in.

"Sure." Kim and I agreed. I drove us to a café where we ordered sandwiches and iced teas.

"Can we talk now Bella?" Kim asked quietly.

"Tell me about Leah and Sam."

Emily looked startled and Kim squirmed in her seat uncomfortable.

"Nothing is going on between them. It's been over for a long time Bella." Emily reassured me.

"Kim?"

Kim looked up into my eyes, "Sam loves you Bella, he wants you not Leah."

"Kim?"

"His mother heard you had a fight and were living with Lore. She's been talking about Sam and Leah spending time together, and this being the thing that would bring them back together. Jared's mom is kind of a gossip so I hear things. Half the tribe thinks you and Sam have split up and called off the wedding and the other half think you eloped or something and he has you locked away somewhere mostly they are the ones who think the pack is a gang. No one knows anything except that neither of you are living at home and that you haven't been seen in weeks and Sam is seen very little and doesn't speak to anyone but the elders and the pack."

I nodded, "What else do you want to talk about?"

"Everything. What were you doing at Lore's? What happened between you and Sam? Jared lives in his head and still isn't really sure."

"Paul too though they don't phase at the same time much, not since…" Emily cut herself off and looked down at her hands.

"What Emily?"

"Whatever you said to Paul that day really fucked him up. He went after Sam and they fought. After they worked the aggression out they talked for a long time and then Paul came back, sort of sad and defeated and told me to leave it alone he wouldn't say anything about any of it after that and he always runs patrols with Jared or Jake, never Sam or Leah and rarely any of the others."

"Jared runs with Sam a lot too but that's the only time I see Sam or Paul."

"I'm sorry Emily. It wasn't fair of me to do that to Paul."

"What happened?"

"I had to know something about his mother."

"What?"

"If she loved his father."

"Why?"

"What does that have to do with Sam?" Kim added.

"I was still hurting from Sam leaving me. It still hurts but it's not the same."

"Why?" Kim asked.

"Let's get back to that. Why did you need to know?" Emily cut back in.

"I can understand, if she loved him, why she always let him come back."

"Why?" Emily asked; both she and Kim looked confused.

"It hurts more; him leaving her hurt more than when he hit her. I told Paul it felt like Sam was punishing me. It was something Lore helped me see, that Sam walking away felt like he was punishing me for disagreeing with him. David punished me for disagreeing with him by hitting me. It felt like Sam was doing the same by leaving me. That hurt more than anything David ever did. It's why Paul's mother always took his father back, because it was better, the pain of being hit was less painful than when he left. I would rather Sam hit me than left me." I could see the tears in their eyes, "It took me a while to see that what I felt when he left wasn't the truth. Sam wasn't trying to punish me. I don't feel like that anymore but it doesn't change that it felt like that. I know now that the worse thing Sam can ever do to me is to leave me but I also know that as much as it hurts, I can live with it. I don't and will not accept it but I can survive it so I don't have to be afraid of that anymore."

Both girls reached across the table and I put my hands in theirs, "Is that what you were doing with Lore? Learning to face your fears of loving Sam?" Emily asked quietly.

"Lore taught me a lot of things about myself by simply teaching me to listen and to think. She didn't let me hide from the past or the damage it had done. Mostly life with her was simple and easy; every day was almost the same and so they blended into each other. I had a lot of time to think and she always asked the hard questions and gave confusing answers for me to figure out on my own."

"Now what?" Kim asked squeezing my left hand.

"Now I wait for Sam to come home."

"That's it? You are just going to sit and wait?" Kim asked, "Sam is stubborn Bella." She reminded me again.

"So am I and no I am not going to just sit and wait. First I am going to plant this garden and I am going to take a piece of advice from Lore."

"What is that?" Emily asked.

"Fight dirty." I smiled at them both, "Lore said all is fair when love is at war. So I am going to use his own instincts against him."

I could see the slow smiles spreading over both their faces, "Sex might not fix everything but it can still be used as part of the solution." Emily said grinning.

"Using mating season against him, I like it." Kim grinned evilly, "He might be stubborn but I don't think he's ever been faced with torture by lust."

"I think he'll come home pretty quick but then what?"

"I don't think it will be that easy. He is very stubborn but I have also learned patience from an old wise woman who can sit and watch the bud of a flower bloom without breaking the silence or shifting around anxiously. When he does give in I plan to wear him out with imprint sex and when he is calm and sated, talk to him and make him talk to me."

"One problem Bella." Kim spoke up.

"Jared and I were together last mating season, Paul and Emily got together just after it ended so she wont know so well."

"Know what?"

"How is Sam's sex drive?"

"Fine." I blushed remembering how little he liked the use of that word when it described our sex life, "We have, had, a very active sex life."

"Right, more than most couples right?"

I shrugged, "Yeah I guess, before, what David did, we had sex only once. He was pressuring me, its one of the reasons I finally ended it. I don't really know what's considered normal."

"Well my ex could not get it up more than twice in one night and even that was only once and Paul has, well he's never had a problem, or needed much of a wait before rounds two, three or sometimes four." Emily provided.

"Jared was my first but even I know his sex drive is higher than most men, it's not just that they want it everyday but like Emily said they are ready with just a hint you want them. By the way, thanks for that every surface bit you added to the sex in every room superstition, Jared's mum went away for a couple days to visit friends up the coast and it made for a lovely weekend."

I blushed, "Ok so they are hornier than most men, what's your point, isn't that a good thing in wanting to drive him to come home?"

"It's a good thing regardless." Emily agreed.

Kim blushed, "Yeah I know it is but you haven't been with them during this time of year."

"Kim, what is wrong with the plan?" Emily insisted.

"The wear him out part." She blushed again, "Jared can wear me out when it's just a normal day. During mating season… well sex is pretty well always on his mind. You bend over to pick up a pen in class in September and he's painfully hard. I wore a skirt on a date and he had his hand up it at the movie theater before the lights dimmed."

"Paul has seemed more… predatory, lately." Emily thought.

"Yeah well this is just the beginning. From now until October the boys are going to be ready to go pretty well every minute you are near them."

"Great so playing on the mate your imprint instinct will be easy it's just the get him relaxed enough to talk part that will be difficult." I flushed.

"You are thinking it will be fun to try aren't you." Emily laughed at me.

Kim nodded blushing at the same time, "Oh it is. Jared is an animal this time of year." We all laughed at that.

"Ok so, I can get him to come home. How do I get him to stay there?"

"Marry him." Emily said as though it were the simplest solution.

"Yeah, that's what I am working towards here. We just need to talk things out and get back on track."

"Ok so step one is planting the garden, what is step two? We just have to take this one thing at a time."

I laughed, "That's what Lore told me when I went to her after Sam left."

"Why did you go to her?"

"I needed someone outside the pack who would still understand all of this, someone who knew about my history. I don't know. Instinct I guess. I needed her wisdom to find my way to myself."

"Did you?" Emily asked.

"Lore pushed me to see my own insecurities. It shocked me to hear myself say that Sam belonged with Leah or that I thought he hurt me more than David ever did. I felt those things. I felt unworthy of him, damaged, and terrifyingly attached to him at the same time. Being an imprint isn't a curse, love isn't a cage but I couldn't help but feel like it was. I believed I loved David and he loved me and I never wanted to be trapped like that again. I know Sam wouldn't hurt me, rationally I always knew that but fear is not rational and the scars David left me with run deep. They will always be there but the worst thing Sam can do to me is leave me and even then I will survive it. I am here because I want to be. Being with Sam it's a gift. Everything happens for a reason and he is my reason. If I could go back and change it all I would live every moment of pain in my life over again because it brought me here, to La Push and to Sam. The imprint makes him feel the need to be anything I want him to be but loving him makes me want only him and all the good and bad that comes with that. I've learned to accept who I am and trust in my own instincts all of which tell me the only thing I need or want is Sam."

Emily and Kim nodded, "So step one." Emily smiled at me.

"Step one, get him to come home."

"By planting a garden" Kim nodded and then shook her head, "That one sort of confuses me."

"She's nesting, show him she wants to be here." Emily told her, then turned to me "Right?"

"Partly, yes. I'm putting down roots, making a life for myself here and also pushing those mating season instincts."

"How's that?"

"Lore said that Sam would come in the night to ease the imprint but sometimes he would come in the day time when I was gardening there to see me."

"So short shorts and tank tops while planting roots in his home. Will send the message for him to come and claim you." Kim half said and half asked.

"Well that is the plan."

"Step two?" Emily asked.

"Show him I'm not going anywhere by taking my place in the pack, which means the three of us are going back to being friends and the pack is just going to have to get over this stay out of it, let Bella and Sam work things out, attitude they have going on."

"Step three?" Kim asked.

"If revealing clothing and hanging around the pack don't drag his sorry ass home then I will be forced to take drastic measures."

"Which are?" Kim asked.

"Hit him over the head with a skillet. It worked for me." Emily suggested.

The three of us laughed.

"I was thinking I could make him a little jealous. Not enough to make him feel like I don't want him but enough to make him claim me as his. It will be a subtle and difficult dance that I would really rather not have to worry about."

"It might just make him think you don't care. The wolf would claim you without thought, its Sam himself that is freaking out about it." Emily mused.

"Right, which is why I need to get the wolf to get him home and then Sam to talk and I have a feeling it will not be pretty. Lore said getting Sam back will be both very easy and very hard. I think getting him home will be the easy part, hitting him over the head with a metaphorical skillet to get him to move past his own shit, not so much."

"Ok, I get your issues. They are pretty cut and dry in regards to David taking control of you and love being a cage and all but what are Sam's?"

I shrugged, "That is sort of the hard part. I'm not entirely sure. I don't actually know all that much about Sam."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean Sam doesn't talk about himself, not in regards to the past. I mean I know about him and Leah but that's it and it was his mother that told me they were engaged and Leah who told me about what happened. Hell even Jake was the one that told me they used to date. Sam doesn't tell me much about himself at all. Just the pack, what it is to be the wolf… wait no, Billy told me about being the mate of a wolf. Sam just tells me he loves me and will be whatever I want."

"So you don't know anything about Sam?" Emily asked frowning.

"I know that he is a good man, he's hardworking, has his own company, is Alpha of the pack and helped all of the others with phasing and with imprinting and killing vampires. I know what he likes to read and watch on tv, how he takes his coffee, what he likes to eat, what side of the bed he sleeps on, I know all the little things about him now. All the day to day things but I don't know what he loved about Leah, how he felt about giving up his scholarship, what he wanted to do before this, what his relationship is with his parents. I don't know any of the big things in his life. For him it is all about me, and a relationship, a marriage can't survive on that. I don't know why he acts or reacts the way he does. He doesn't talk to me about anything important. He doesn't trust me to be able to handle it. I can understand his need to protect me, but I can't understand his need to tuck me away like an infant to be loved and coddled. If he wants me as his wife then he needs to let me be his partner. He needs to trust me to be there for him and the pack not just as his imprint but also as his mate."

"So you know what you want." Kim nodded.

"He just has to decide if he can be it." Emily concluded.

"Exactly." I agreed, "I'm here as his imprint no matter what but if he wants me as his mate then he needs to man up and come and claim me and he needs to let me know him so I can be his partner."

Both girls nodded in approval. "So let's go get started on step one. That garden will not plant itself." Kim's support made me want to hug her again.

"No it wont, but I think we need to make another stop first." Emily smiled devilishly.

I studied her a moment before comprehension dawned, "Oh no."

"Oh yes." Emily nodded.

"What?" Kim asked.

"Shopping" Emily squealed.

I rolled my eyes, "Sam likes my clothes."

"He'll like new ones more." Kim said quickly jumping on board.

"Trust us Bella. If there is one thing I know how to do, it's bring a stubborn wolf to his knees." Emily said with an evil glint in her eyes.

"Skin drives Jared crazy all year, but August to October, my elbow turns him on." Kim nodded, "And you want Sam more than just a little hot and bothered."

"You want him on his knees begging." Emily agreed.

An evil smile spread across Kim's face to match Emily's "That is when you will make him talk."

"Sated and happy he might be relaxed enough to open up…" Emily began.

"But horny, hard and panting will make him give you anything you want to have you." Kim added.

"A little heart to heart talk before a lot of skin to skin communication." Emily finished, causing them both to giggle.

"Right, the only problem with that being that I haven't had sex with him since June and holding out on him will be the hardest thing I've ever done."

"Eye on the prize sister." Emily nodded at me.

"Stay strong." Kim agreed. "Hold out now and when you are married and mated you can sex it up until you can't walk straight."

"Like Lore said, one thing at a time. So let's get our butts to the mall. We have outfits to buy and a garden to plant."

I rolled my eyes but grinned with them, "Ok, Project Wed that Wolf is a go," I agreed channeling Rylan, "but if we are shopping I need to make a quick phone call so this can be as painless as possible."

As we walked, I dialed the familiar number of my best friend.

"Hello?"

"Rylan?" I looked at the phone to check the number at the strange voice.

"He's just out of the shower, asked me to answer, I'm Jack. We met in Seattle, well Port Angeles actually, Kim's brother."

"I remember." I bit back the squeal of happiness but a wide grin broke out over my face, "How are you Jack?"

At the sound of his name Kim turned to me, "Is that my Jack?"

I nodded as Jack spoke, "Good. You?"

"Good thanks. I'm actually just in PA with Kim."

"Tell her I say hi and will see her next week. Ry's here so I'll let you have him. I hope to see you again soon."

"Yeah me too. Bye Jack." I waited while he handed Rylan the phone.

"Isa?" As soon as I heard his voice I let out the squeal I was holding in. Rylan just laughed, "Yeah, that's about how I feel honey."

"So you are together?"

"Yeah. I didn't want to say anything until you and Sam sorted things out. We're taking it slow, sort of, but we are definitely together."

"Sort of?"

"I see him everyday, he sleeps over almost every night, it has been an almost ideal summer. The almost part being my best friend being a bit AWOL of course."

"Sorry Ry. I did call from Lore's to let you know I was alright though."

"One phone call in over a month hardly counts Isa, not when I normally hear from you every two or three days."

"Sorry, I just needed some time to sort myself out."

"Which you have done?"

"Yes, now I just have to sort Sam out but I have a plan, actually Kim, Emily and I have a plan."

"What does the plan involve?"

"Showing Sam I am exactly where I want to be, that he is what I want and I am not leaving. Getting him to open up to me and accept me as his mate and thus his partner and not just his imprint. Then lots of makeup sex."

"How do you plan to do that?"

"First I moved home and I am going to plant a garden, Lore has taught me a lot about gardening. While I do that, I am going to use his instincts against him and seduce him into coming home. Then we are going to talk and work things out."

"And then comes all the makeup sex?"

"Well it is mating season and I do plan on using those instincts against his stubborn ass."

Rylan laughed, "Sounds like you have everything plotted. Shall I get back to wedding plans or wait for the final word? The invitations are all ready to go out though the date might have to be changed a little. It is already August and two months doesn't leave a lot of time for your plan and the wedding plans."

"I'll let you know about all that. I'm taking one thing at a time as it comes. For now I just need your help with this."

"How's that?"

"The girls insist I need new clothes."

"Ah, of course. Shit. To bad, you didn't decide that this morning I could have driven out. Do you still have the emergency credit card I left you?"

"Emergency credit card?"

"Good you didn't find it so it will still be there. I had one of my American Express accounts add you; your card is activated and in the pocket behind the one Phil gave you for emergencies when you left Phoenix. Buy short jean cutoff shorts for garden work with cute and small tanks, its summer, and its hot so it will be perfect. Buy a new bikini, a little one in black, white or dark purple. Also get a couple of different mini skirts, at least two different jean ones, no three, one in light wash one dark and the other mid wash, cut offs or distressed. There are some cute cargo mini skirts around as well, you can get one in white and that darker tan sort of a light brown not the really pale tan, it wont go as well with your skin tone. Get a few fitted tees but more fitted tanks, they have some really cute ones edged in lace at Abercrombie."

"This is why you are my hero. What other stores should we try?"

"Victoria Secret, Abercrombie and Fitch, Everything but Water, Roxy and a good department store. You'll find everything there and Isa."

"Yeah Ry?"

"I better get a good bill on that credit card this month. If you don't spend at least a grand I will go crazy the next time I see you and redo your entire wardrobe."

"To much." I argued. "I'm not getting shoes or accessories."

"Seven hundred minimum. Plus buy the girls at least one outfit and a new bathing suit for taking you. Send me pictures of what you buy and update me on Project MTW soon."

"I will, I love you Ry."

"Love you too Isa."

"Congrats on Jack. I want details soon."

"Of course and Isa."

"Yeah?"

"It is as good as you two made it sound."

I laughed as we hung up the phone. Once I was able to catch my breath I turned to Kim, "Your brother and my best friend are doing the deed and apparently your brother is very talented."

"Ew!" Kim laughed, "But really? They are? That is so great. Jack hasn't said. He will so be giving me details when he comes next week."

"Yeah, he said to say hi and he'll see you then. Ry told me what to get and where to get it. He also said that you two have to play his role today and help me pick things out because I am terrible at it and in thanks he insists on buying you each at least one full outfit and a swim suit, don't argue he wont take no as an answer, trust me. He also insists on me needing a new bikini, several mini skirts both jean and cargo as well as some fitted tees, and these fitted lace edge tanks at Abercrombie."

"So let's go." Emily ushered us down the street to the shops. We got everything Jack suggested as well as a few cute new lace bra and panty sets. The total of everything came to almost nine hundred and while it made me want to hyperventilate, I knew Ry would be proud. It was a full truck going back with all our shopping piled in the cab and all the stuff from the nursery in the back. We ate dinner in the city and didn't get back until after eight. The girls decided to spend the night so they left messages for their wolves and we drove straight to my house. We unloaded everything and they helped me put it all away, then made popcorn and watched romantic comedies until we passed out in the living room.

**A/N **

**We are back to Bella's POV but for those of you upset with the pack for being hard on Sam I will say this, cut them some slack. Sam has his own issues and while we have had a look into some of his thoughts, we haven't really seen what those are yet (well I have but I'm the writer) the pack mind and Leah's personal history with him gives them a lot more insight into the situation. Also the Emmett thing and Bella's relapse into the dark space of what it is to come out of that kind of trauma are only catalysts. While Bella needs to own her part in things (and she is) Sam is not entirely blameless and reacting to her. Our hero has his own scars to deal with and at least he knows what Bella's issues are. Stay with me. There will be more Sam in the near future.**


	37. Chapter 37

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts I will update as often as I can. PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

**Sorry for the wait. I had exams. This chapter was getting long so I split it up. Mostly filler but no worries, the next chapter will be up either tonight or tomorrow morning. Please Review! **

The next morning I was up with the sun again and went about quietly making coffee. I sat out on the patio until Emily and Kim woke up an hour later.

"Why are you up so early?" Emily asked yawning.

I shrugged, "Just used to it from staying with Lore I suppose. I'll make some fresh coffee."

"Already did." Kim said coming outside. "It will be ready in a minute. Mind if I use your shower?"

"Go ahead. You working today?"

She nodded, "I'll come by and help with the garden tomorrow."

"Sure, thanks for coming with me yesterday."

"It was a great day." She smiled at me before heading back in the house to shower.

Emily and I went in to the kitchen to get coffee and start on breakfast. When Kim came out we all ate and then Kim was off to work. Emily decided to stay and help start the garden.

It was tough work digging up the yard but Paul showed up before long.

"Hijacked my mate sister?" He called coming around the side and pulling Emily in for a kiss.

I laughed and stuck out my tongue at him, "You had her all summer, learn to share."

"Fine, but I guess you don't want my help with this then." He nodded to the shovels and over turned earth.

"If you are offering." I grinned back at him.

"If it gets my mate back in my bed and kitchen I am all yours. I had to eat frozen pizza last night." He teased.

Emily smacked his chest and handed him the shovel, "You dig, I'll go make us some iced tea."

"Don't dig, I told him, just turn the earth over so that I can plant. Emily and I already marked out the borders and once the earth is loose I can put in the border."

Paul began to work, "So what are you up to here little sister?"

"Me? Well, Paul, I'm planting an herb garden and then some flowers around the front there but don't worry it wont be to feminine looking. The wolves will still be able to come and cause a ruckus without me yelling at you to stay off the tulips." I laughed at him, "That's why I'm planting my herb garden on the side, so you animals stay out of it."

"Bells?"

I sighed, "This is my home Paul, Sam made it my home. I am planting my garden and living my life. I want Sam in it, I want to be with him but that has to be his choice. I want the pack in it and whether I am his mate or not I am his imprint and the pack is my family. You are my brother and more than just pack sisters, Emily and Kim are my friends. I am taking my place in the pack because I belong here with all of you. Sam can choose to be with me or not. I'm his imprint and I will always be here for him. I love him and I want to be with him but he has to want that too, not just because the imprint tells him to."

"He does Bella, Sam loves you."

"I know but he wont let me love him Paul. Sam wont even let me know him. He loves me but he doesn't want me to be more than his imprint. He doesn't want me as his mate because he doesn't want to let me into his life, to be his partner. I need him to trust me enough to let me in. We can't make a marriage work without love, respect and trust because those are the things that give love the strength to endure all the years and turmoil. You once told me I needed to let him be there for the good and the bad, well he needs to let me be there for that to. He needs to let me love him."

"Bella…"

I cut him off, "No Paul. I love Sam. I am scarred and a little bit damaged but I am not broken. I will not be broken. He can love and accept me scars and all or he can't. I have no secrets from him, hell with the mind meld I have no secrets from any of you. This is me, scars and all and I am right here waiting for him. I know I have made mistakes and I will likely make a few more but I love him and I am trying, I know I have hurt him, hurt all of you and that kills me but I am doing the best that I can. Some wounds just don't heal over night and some just don't fully heal at all but I am trying to move past it all and be strong. I choose La Push and the pack and whatever life I can find here. I can be his imprint or his mate, so he can come back to me and let me in or we can let each other go and live our lives. Either way I will be here in La Push, with my family, where I belong and where I choose to be."

"What do you want Bella?"

"I want Sam. I want him to want me but more I want him to want me to be with him because believe me it is not the same thing."

"How?"

"You want Emily right?"

"Of course."

"You want all of her and you want her with you all the time, even when things are bad."

"Yes." He nodded, leaning on the shovel.

"You want to be with her so you share everything, even the hard things with her. She knows all about your past because you want her to know you as much as you want to know her. You want Emily."

"Of course, I love her."

"Sam wants to be what I want him to be. He loves me and wants to be with me but he doesn't want me to be with him. He doesn't want to share his life with me. He wants to protect and take care of me because I am his imprint and he loves me. He doesn't want to me to be his partner, to share in his pain or worry or the stress of being Alpha of this pack. If I am going to be his wife then I have to be his partner. I am ready to be his mate, to share my life with him, good and bad. Sam is not ready for that. He loves me but he does not want me for his mate. When he does, when he is ready to make me his partner, then I'll be here waiting."

"He's always going to want to protect you Bella, just like I will always want to protect Emily and Jared will always protect Kim. It's part of who we are."

"I'm not saying he shouldn't Paul. I would do anything to protect him, to protect all of you as well."

"Little sis you are going to need to hit me with a skillet on this one."

I laughed at him, "I have issues Paul." I got a little more serious, "I'm scarred and a little bit damaged inside so I don't always react rationally, sometimes I freak out and I need Sam to accept that and to be there for me. It's nothing to do with him, it's the past and I wish I could make it all go away but I can't. Time will heal most of it but there will always be scars. I need Sam not to run away because of that. I need to not have to worry about hurting him every time I have a bit of a freak out or shutting me out when he is hurting." I sighed and continued, "I have issues but underneath it all, what I want, all I want is Sam. I want to know him, good and bad, to be there for him, standing by his side, when his world is dark. I want him to let me love him, to let me know him and to trust me to be there. I am not one of the wolves he needs to lead and look after or a child to be coddled and cared for. I need him to trust that I am strong enough to be his partner." I met his eyes, "I want Sam. I want to be his mate, to be his partner but I can't until he lets me know him, until he trusts me enough to let me love him."

Paul nodded, running his hand through his short-cropped hair, "He might be a great Alpha but communicating feelings is tough shit. I live in his head and can feel some of the things he feels and I still can't make sense of him."

I laughed again, "Yeah well, sometimes we have to sort ourselves out before someone else can. I did over these last weeks and I found out a few surprising and not to pleasant things about my own emotional state."

Emily came back out with a tray of sandwiches, three glasses and a pitcher of iced tea, "Paul Meraz, I thought you were helping!" She admonished looking at the decided lack of work we had done in the time she was gone.

"Yes my love." He winked at me and stole a kiss from her, stuffing half a sandwich in his mouth as he turned back to the plot of land. "So what is the plan then? A hit to the head with a skillet worked for me. Emily moved in and I told her everything about me including every fear and ounce of latent anger. She moved herself right into my heart, I might have loved her before then but she made damn sure that day that I let her love me too."

Emily laughed, "That's what I said too." She walked over and kissed him, passionately.

"Alright, break it up." I laughed at them, as Paul growled and Emily pushed him away, season of the wolf was definitely starting.

"So, the plan?" Paul asked again.

"Right. Well, I am going to wait for him to come home."

Paul stopped working again and turned to look at me, "That's it? You are going to wait for him to come home? You know Sam's a stubborn bastard right? I mean we all are but Sam is as bad as me and again we return to the skillet."

"I have more patience than Emily." I told him with a smirk.

Emily laughed, "You have better luck in timing. I bet if it were winter we would have been out shopping for one yesterday instead of flowers."

I laughed with her, "Maybe but then I'd have had to find a way to corner him so we'd still have had to go rile the instincts shopping or find something else to get a similar effect."

Paul just looked confused as we both laughed, "Can you explain the plan please?"

"Nope, you share head space. I told you. I am going to wait for Sam to come home, then we are going to talk this out, like rational adults." Both Emily and I giggled at the last, we were going to be doing some adult communication that was for sure.

Paul rolled his eyes and went back to my herb garden. When he had the land all turned over and loosened enough to plant in, he moved all the stones to the border for me.

He was shirtless and sweaty at that point so Emily hugged me goodbye with a wink and dragged him home. I wondered if it was just the wolves that got hornier or if the imprints did to because if we did I was screwed.

I went into the house to have some lunch and then came back out to begin transplanting my pots of herbs into the garden, it was almost supper when I finally finished and went inside to shower.

I put on a clean pair of shorts and a long sleeved fitted tee and took my iced tea outside to sit on the patio as the sun set. It had been two late nights and early mornings so I went to bed early. I could feel his eyes on me in the woods and whispered a quiet "Goodnight Sam" into the woods.

The next day I woke up with the dawn feeling refreshed. I dressed in a white cargo mini skirt, black flip-flops and a fitted black tank. I ate a light breakfast before I grabbed my slouchy black bag and over sized sunglasses and then took my coffee out on the porch to wait for Kim.

She and Emily both arrived at eight and we were off back to PA to get the rest of my flowers for the front, only the herbs I wanted had come with us before. I had decided I wanted a hammock for the yard so we also stopped to pick me up one of those before heading back to La Push and going to the diner for lunch.

It was the first time I saw Sam. I knew he had been watching me, both at Lore's and since I had come home but besides seeing him leaving Paul's that one time I had not seen him since he left me.

I steeled my nerves as soon as I saw his truck and squeezed the girls' hands before walking in and seeing him. He was sitting at a table with Leah, Jared and Paul; I smiled at them and went to the counter to talk with Sue. The girls just waved to her and went to their mates.

"Hey Sue."

"Hello Bella. How is everything?"

"Good." I smiled at her, "I got my herb garden planted yesterday and got the flowers I want to put in today. Most of the ones I want will have to be planted in the fall but I have a few I want to put in today. I also bought a hammock."

"A hammock?"

I nodded, "Yes, Lore had one and I loved to lay outside and read in the shade during the afternoon. There are a couple trees out back that I think will be perfect for it."

"That sounds lovely." She smiled at me, "Can I get you anything?"

"Oh, I'll sit with Kim and Emily and have a look at the menu. I'm not going to plant until tomorrow morning, it's just to warm in the afternoon, Lore says its not good for the plants."

"What else are you up to these days?"

"Well the office is all organized, I'll have to get any new papers from the boys' to file and that but its just keeping up with it as it comes now. I think I am going to look into taking some college classes. I had a lot of time to think while I was with Lore and I've decided that I'd like to get my Teaching Degree. Lore says the res school needs more teachers but I could also commute to Forks Elementary. I thought about teaching high school English but I really don't think that is the thing for me."

"That sounds great Bella. I'm sure Charlie will be very proud."

I smiled at her, "I hope so. I got into all the colleges I applied to last fall but couldn't decide what I wanted to do and when I moved here I applied late acceptance to PA to be near Charlie so now I will be able to start there in January instead of waiting a full year."

"What else are you doing now?"

I shrugged, "I saw the bookstore in PA is hiring part time so I might apply to that, get used to the commute for next year, save up more for school and I could maybe keep it during school as well but I'll figure that out later. Mostly I'm just enjoying the summer. Working in the garden, reading, that sort of thing, I think once I have the garden finished I'll paint."

"Paint?"

I nodded, "I wanted to repaint the office months ago when I first moved in and just haven't gotten around to it. When the girls and I were at the hardware store picking up my hammock, I saw that the Behr paint was on sale so I think I might just paint the whole house. I wanted to do the kitchen and bedroom too anyways so its better to just get it all done at once."

Sue nodded, "Well Seth can help if you need him."

"Thanks Sue. I also plan to recruit Paul to move the furniture for me. How are you? Having a nice summer?"

She nodded, "I'm good. My summer has been very nice. Fairly quiet with Leah moved out and Seth always off with the others."

"I didn't know Leah moved out."

Sue nodded, "Just a couple weeks ago while you were with Lore."

"Well, I'll let you get back to work, I just came over to say hello since I haven't been around much."

"That's alright Bella. It's good to see you doing so well."

"Thanks Sue. I'll talk to you later." I smiled at her and went to the table where all the wolves were still blatantly listening in. I was a little surprised but pleased Sam had not left.

I hugged Paul before sitting between him and Kim, "Hey guys. Lunch break?"

Jared nodded.

"Yup, we just finished up with that addition in Forks. We have a couple odd jobs but nothing to big until we start the remodel next to Anne's house next Wednesday." Paul told me, smiling brightly.

"Well make sure you drop the paperwork off so I can file it all."

"Need help turning more land for your flowers in the morning?"

"If you aren't busy. These plots will be much smaller, I just want to put a border around the patio, add a few flowers around that tree in the front and put in a couple pots in on the patio and in the back next to the steps. I'll need you to unload those from the truck for me, they are way to heavy."

"Sure, you gonna make me lunch?"

I laughed at him, "Do I ever not feed you?"

"Nah, little sister looks out." He said winking.

"Yeah well big brother can help me hang my hammock too, if I do it myself I'll probably hurt myself."

"I want to get one of those when Jared and I move out, they are so comfortable." Kim joined in the conversation.

"Yeah, I was thinking of finding a good spot for one in our yard as well." Emily agreed.

"I told you they were fantastic." I grinned at them before turning to Leah, "How's your new place Leah? Your mom said you moved out last month."

"It's fine, just a little place not far from here."

"Doing any redecorating of your own?"

She shook her head, "Um, no not really. I don't garden and the place is in pretty good shape, Sam is fixing a few things for me but it's a nice little cottage.

I stamped down on the jealousy that rose at her statement, "I'm sure it's great and it must be nice to have a place of your own. I never grew up with siblings but I think if we lived together I'd take to beating Paul with Emily's skillet."

The wolves all laughed.

"I'm telling you, these boys are hard headed, sometimes you need to whack them to get your point to stick in their thick skulls." Emily told me, nodding solemnly, though her eyes danced with laughter.

"I'll keep that in mind." I nodded back to her, biting back my own laugh.

"Well I should get back to work, can I put an order in for you girls?" Leah asked getting up.

"I'll have the chicken club with fries and a coke, please Leah." Kim smiled at her.

"I'll have the same with an iced tea, please." Emily added.

"The same as Emily but with a salad instead of fries please."

"How about you boys? Anything else?"

"No thanks Lee-lee. I have a few things to do a Old Quil's house." His nickname for her was like a punch in the gut but I forced myself to keep smiling.

"Yeah, I have that job for Billy, so I have to get going and meet Jake." Paul said kissing Emily and turning to me to kiss my temple, "See you in the morning little sister." We all knew that job was patrol; it was just to public to say here.

"Thanks brother."

"I'm heading out to the grocery, Maria asked me to fix up some of the shelves." Jared added before kissing Kim and looking over to me, "Let me know if you need more help in the garden or if Paul is busy when you want that furniture moved ok Bells."

I smiled at him, "Thanks Jared. I will. I'll also cook up those biscuits you love next time I'm baking."

"An angel you are Bells." He winked and stood.

"You know I just can't get those right. I can bake almost anything but those damn biscuits." Kim pouted.

"They are so simple you are probably just over thinking it. I'll show you how to do them again. You only saw me make them the once and that was a while ago."

"Thanks." I felt the pressure on my chest grow as Sam got up and walked away with Jared.

"You ok Bella?" Emily put her hand on my arm.

I tried to smile at her but it came out more of a grimace, "Hurts is all. I'll get used to it."

Both of them looked worried but I took a deep painful breath and let it out before forcing a more natural looking smile, "So what do you girls say to an afternoon at the beach tomorrow? I can swing by the bakery and pick you both up when you get off."

"Sounds like a good plan to me. I told Anne I'd come in and make all the dough that has to rise over night so I have to go in after lunch, what are your plans?" Emily asked.

"I am going to swing by Charlie's place. I haven't seen my dad in a while."

"Yeah, I think I'll swing by and see my parents too. Mum still hates Jared so it's better if I go while he is at work."

Leah came back with our lunches but couldn't stay to chat. Now that her own lunch break was over, the other waitress took hers and Leah was busy with the lunch rush.

I drove the girls home and then drove out to see Charlie. He was at work so I just let myself in and began to clean the house and do his laundry. At four I began to make us both some dinner and he was home by five.

"Bells?"

"Hey dad." I called back, wiping my hands on a towel and going out to see him removing his coat and gun belt. "Sorry to just stop in without calling but I thought I'd make you dinner since I haven't been around much this summer."

"You can always come over Bells, live here or not it's still your home."

"Thanks dad." I blushed, smiling at him; "I made up some steak and potatoes for supper."

"You cleaned too. You didn't have to do that."

I shrugged, "It was nothing. I put your clean laundry on your bed but there is another load that just went in the drier."

"Thanks Bells."

"Sure, sure. Come on and eat." My father and I were never very vocal about our affection for each other but it was obvious to us both in other ways.

"How was your stay with Lore?"

"It was great, very Zen in a way, cathartic at any rate."

"So you're better then?"

I shrugged and put my fork down, "How much do you know about Phoenix?"

Charlie put his own cutlery down and looked at me, "Enough. Though I'm here if you want to talk about it."

"I don't but thank you. Well, it was all about a year and a half ago and after I was trying to be normal for Renee, I met Rylan. He helped me a lot but I was still very damaged from it. Truth is I'll always have those scars on my soul but I've come to terms with it. Lore taught me to listen to my emotions and my instincts over my thoughts and then to make sense of those feelings, find reason in them. I know what I want now and I am not afraid of what I want anymore."

"So you and Sam?"

I bit my lip, to keep the tears in check, "I don't know." I admitted. "Sam has his own issues to deal with and when he's ready to deal with them, we can face the hurdles we have as a couple. I love him, I want to marry him and I am working to get him back but he has to want it to."

"I hope it works out for you kid. I wish there was something I could do. A way I could help. Hell, he's supposed to be the one who never hurts you, the one who loves you above everything else. I just thought this imprint thing was supposed to make it easy."

I shook me head, "No, it doesn't make building a life together easy. It just points them to who their soul mate is. Sam and I have the capacity to make each other happier than anyone else. It hurts him to see me in pain and it hurts him to be without me just like it hurts me to be without him. He does love me and I love him. He just can't seem to let me love him, to let me know him and be his partner. I couldn't let him all the way in before but I'm ready now. I just need to find a way to help him let me in. I think loving someone is easy, letting them love you is the hard part. We pretty much have the first part as a guarantee, we're soul mates, of course we'll love each other. We just have to learn how to let each other love the other."

Charlie nodded, "Makes a whole lot of sense to me Bells."

We ate and talked a bit about his work and my future plans while we finished eating, then I cleaned up the kitchen and we went into the sitting room to watch a movie together. It was late when I finally left but I was glad I had gone to reconnect with him. It was a good night and I felt like Charlie understood. Neither of us ever mentioned the fey or his not being my biological father. I doubted we ever would. Charlie was my dad and I was his daughter, blood or not, it was all that mattered to either of us.


	38. Chapter 38

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

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The next week flew by both as quickly and as slowly as the weeks I had spent at Lore's. I got up with the sun and made my breakfast. I sat and sipped my coffee on the patio and then tended to my garden. I filed all the paperwork Paul brought me on the jobs they did and organized all the things they needed to take care of. They were on a major job site now but there were also little things here and there they would stop to take care of during the week. Paul or Jared would pick up the list I wrote up for them and let me know any other things someone had stopped to ask them to do so I could draw up the papers and add it to their lists. Then I'd do my housework and make some lunch.

I had started a yoga class with Kim that was helping with my balance issues, it was the only sport like activity I found I actually enjoyed, well that and cliff jumping. In the mornings after my gardening, I'd take my yoga mat outside and do the routine we had been taught. In the afternoons I'd read on my hammock, sometimes it was more from the hand written garden books, learning the uses and properties of all the herbs and flowers around me and in the woods. Other times I would read one of the journals filled with Quileute, Clallam, Makah and Hoh histories and legends. I had also picked up a few of the course books I had learned were used in the Associate In Elementary Education degree I was planning to get at the college in Port Angeles and some child psychology books to help my progression to becoming a teacher.

When I wasn't spending the afternoon trying to expand my mind with the past or the future I was at the beach with Kim and Emily or hanging out in the garage with Jake. I was glad our friendship had found solid footing again and much to Charlie's displeasure he had taught me to ride his motorcycle and had found one to fix up for my own.

Paul and Jared were at the house for dinner at least twice a week and since their mates were almost always with me, I saw them often. Embry and Quil worked in the garage with Jake so I saw them weekly as well. Leah I mostly saw at the diner, I missed her friendship, and I missed Seth and the twins. Paul, his connection to me more solid than it had ever been, read this easily one day when we were all at the beach and called the boys over the next day to help move my furniture and paint. We blasted music and danced around and had the whole place painted by dinner.

Since it stank, I left all the windows open and went to sleep at Paul's. Emily, Kim and I made the pack a huge dinner and we all watched movies until we passed out. After that, the twins and Seth were always stopping in to see if I needed anything or for a bite to eat. I always had fresh muffins, cookies or other snacks and was more than happy to cook them a meal. Cooking for myself just wasn't the same so usually I made myself simple things.

I went back to spending Sunday nights with Charlie, I'd go by the house while he was still fishing and clean up, do his laundry and cook us dinner. He always insisted I didn't have to clean up after him but he was my dad, I wanted to help take care of him. I also tended to stay and cook for Billy and Jake at least once a week when I was visiting the garage or practicing on Jake's motorcycle. I was getting pretty good but swore to Charlie I would not ride it off the res and would stay far away from the highway. He also bought me a helmet that covered my whole head and face and a leather motorcycle jacket and boots, saying if I was going to ride a death trap, I should at least wear proper safety gear.

It was on my third day back that I had started talking to Sam. I was laying out on the hammock reading and felt his eyes on me. "Hello Sam." Laying my book on my stomach, I spoke without looking to the woods. "I finished the garden. Well, as much as I can until the fall when I can plant a few other things. I've never had a garden before; in Phoenix, our yard was stone. I never thought I would like gardening but I found it to be a good way to think while I was staying with Teala. She is a good woman. I am so grateful for how she has helped me. I wondered if you and the boys would stop by and fix up a few things for her. I don't think she has a lot of money to spare but some things look to be falling apart." I sighed. After a minute, I began speaking again. "I still blame my mother a little you know. For not seeing. I love her and logically I know it's not her fault. I tried hard to hide how I was feeling, how scared and broken I was and I'm angry with her for not seeing past it. Kind of stupid huh." I told him everything about my mother; I must have talked for an hour about all we did together. After I stopped talking, I just lay there, the hammock gently swaying until I dozed off for a short nap.

Two days later, while I was lying in the hammock I felt his eyes again. "Hello Sam." I laid my book on my stomach again. I told him about a few mundane things over the past few days, then fell silent a moment. "Paul told me you went by to see Teala and fixed up a few things. Thank you." I paused again, taking a deep breath to steady myself before I continued. "I was thinking about David this morning." I heard a low growl. "You know, I never understood how women could let themselves be abused. I was in a relationship like that and I still don't understand it. In a way I do I suppose but mostly I don't. That doesn't even make sense does it?" I sighed. "I meant what I said to Paul. I sort of understand why his mom took his dad back all those times. What I don't understand is how Paul didn't come first. I'll never understand how she could let her son suffer. I also don't understand how I could let anyone hurt me, why I never fought back. I know I did leave him in the end but how did I not see what kind of man he was before? When I met him, he was so beautiful, so charming and sweet. I couldn't really see what he saw in me. I never felt good enough for him." I explained to Sam everything about David. From how we met, through our first date right up to when I broke up with him. I felt physically drained when I finished talking and fell asleep again.

The next time I talked to him, it was about Rylan. How we met, everything we did together, any little detail about our friendship and the things I loved about him. Then I talked about David again; about the rape and the year, Rylan spent putting me back together again. The next time I told him all about school and all my plans for the future. Any time I brought him up in my future there was always an if in front, "If we ever have kids I want to teach them to be as generous as Rylan" or "If we get married I'd want to take your name but keep mine as a second middle name." I talked about serious things and light things. I went through and told him my life story from childhood until now and all about the things that I dreamt for my future. Sometimes I would fall asleep and others I'd just lay there for a while before going inside, whispering the most painful four words I would utter each day, "I miss you Sam."

It had been weeks and Sam didn't come home. I think he knew everything there was to know about me. I held nothing back. One day, angry with him I screamed into the woods and threw my garden spade into the area where I felt his eyes, angry at his silent presence. Another evening I sat on the patio and cried wishing he would just hold me. I shared my thoughts, my dreams, my fears and every messed up emotion I had with him. I missed him more every day. I was sure the pack knew I talked to him like this, how could they not with the mind meld thing, but none of them brought it up. None of them talked about Sam with me at all. I had decided not to bring our relationship up with them either; they were affected by it enough as it was.

I also decided that if I wanted my relationship with Leah to go back to how it was then I needed to make the effort. I had trusted her to tell her the most painful and difficult thing in my life and she had become a sister. Emily and Kim were my best friends in the way Rylan was. We talked about everything and spent almost all our free time together. Jake was always there for me, we did reckless things together like ride bikes, he was steady and stable, always a calm presence in my life supporting me, he was family and we would be there for each other to lean on. Jared had become like a brother to me. I went to him for advice, to talk about school and the plans I had for the future, even my fears. He was always looking after me. Paul was my other half, he really was like my twin, we moderated each other. He could look at me and know what I was feeling, part of that was the imprint but a lot of it was just us. I had no secrets from Paul or he from me. He taught me how to let myself be angry and I taught him how to let himself be sad. It sounds strange but I buried any anger I felt and let it eat away at me until I hated myself. Paul let anger consume his pain, until it took over every part of him. As full as they all made my life and heart I missed Leah and her blunt attitude. Always, always I missed Sam but him I had to wait for. Leah I didn't.

As August faded into September, I went into the diner to bring Leah firmly back into my life. They might not talk about it but I wasn't blind, Charlie and Sue had started to date, it wasn't much of a relationship yet but I had high hopes and if things went that way Leah and I would be more than pack sisters so it was time we got things back on track.

"Morning Bella." Sue called smiling.

"Morning Sue. How are you?"

"Good. Can I get you anything?"

"No thanks. I was actually just here to see Leah, she hasn't left yet has she?"

"Everything ok Bella?" Leah came out of the back having easily heard our conversation.

"Yeah, I was just wondering if you would come with me to PA today. I have a few things to do and thought we could get lunch together."

She looked at me a moment before nodding slowly, "Sure. Let me just get my things."

"Great." I sent her a wide smile.

We climbed into my truck and rolled down the windows, I turned on the radio and silently began the half hour drive to Port Angeles.

"So what's up Bella?" Leah finally broke the silence about half way to PA.

I glanced at her before looking at the road again, "Not much. How is the new place? Did the boys get everything fixed up for you?"

She nodded, "Yeah, its great. I saw that they came to help you paint."

"Yeah," I grinned at her, "I kept neutral tones everywhere; the walls are this sort of this off white beige like the sand from white beaches, it's called haze. I did the trim and ceilings in a creamy white called Swiss coffee. It really brings out the natural wood of the floors and furniture. It gives it a very open feel but with all the woods and dark furniture, it's still so warm. You should come by and see. My garden is really doing well and Paul got me another hammock, this one is a chair and it sits on the patio in its own frame so I can sit outside even in the rain and just sort of sway and sip my coffee in the mornings. "

"It sounds like you've made it home."

"It is home Leah, all its missing is Sam." She nodded and our conversation tapered off. "How is he? The rest of the pack doesn't talk about him. They rarely say his name in front of me. I've seen him in passing a couple times and he looks tired."

"He is. The stubborn bastard just runs patrol, works and watches you."

"I know, I can feel him watching me, feel him outside at night."

"He sleeps out there in the woods. Damn man is more wolf than man these days. He hurts and we all know you do, no matter how happy you pretend to be."

"I am happy Leah. I've accepted my past and who I am, I'm not afraid of what I want anymore, not afraid of the future. I'm working to build my life here. I miss him. I know I hurt him, I was stupid and he had to suffer because I just wasn't ready. I hurt all of you through him, making him suffer for something he had nothing to do with and I'm sorry, so very sorry. I miss him everyday and it does hurt, it always hurts but the pain of Sam, and the giant hole he's punched in my chest aside, I am happy."

She nodded, "I missed you."

"I missed you too Leah, which is what this is about, an afternoon for just us. Besides I don't know about you but I am fully on the Charlie and Sue train and hoping that we'll be step sisters once they get their act together and stop pretending they aren't dating."

She laughed, "Me too. You should have seen her going through her closet when they went for dinner and he took her to a movie last week, she was checking her makeup and wringing her hands like it was a first date."

I laughed with her, "Knowing Charlie he'd have paced a couple times across the kitchen, run his hand through his hair before nodding to himself and picking up his keys to leave. I'd even bet he gave himself a pep talk before calling her up."

"I can actually picture that." She agreed. "We'll have to encourage them a bit, make sure things are on track."

"Charlie will be happy you approve. Harry was one of his best friends."

Leah's smile turned a little sad, "Dad loved Charlie too. He'd be happy his friend was looking out for mom and Seth. I just want her to be happy again, it's been two years."

I nodded, "I've wanted Charlie to find someone for years, Renee really hurt him when she left, I was afraid he'd just stay a bachelor and not even try, to afraid to get hurt again."

"I know what that is like."

"I'm sorry that being a wolf took that away from you, from both of you."

"Sam took it away from me Bella. He asked me to marry him and then disappeared for weeks. I understand now, I'm a wolf too and I can see inside his head so I get it but that doesn't make it better. When he came back, he was distant and we fought all the time. It was a week, only a week after he got back that it ended and I know I was the one to break it off but he was relieved. I know he loved me but even before the imprinting thing became real with Jared and Kim, that whole year when I didn't know what was going on, he didn't even try. For a year, he all but cut me out of his life. I loved him since I was fourteen and he just gave up. He phased and things got hard and he gave up."

"Sounds familiar." I told her wryly.

She laughed bitterly, "Yeah, I guess it does but Bella Sam loves you, its not like it was with me. I mean, he loved me, just not like he loves you. I think he was with me because it was easy, we were together a long time and were good friends, the love we had its not the kind of love that people spend lifetimes looking for, he walked away from me and when I ended it he didn't look back. All he does is think about you, miss you, and worry about you. He is just scared; he doesn't want to fight a losing battle. He doesn't want you to resent him the way his father resented Alia."

"What do you mean?"

"What do you know about his parents?"

"Nothing. Sam doesn't talk about them. He doesn't talk about anything to do with himself." I sighed, "I don't really know Sam at all. I know the little things but none of the big ones that make him tick."

She laughed, "Isn't it usually the other way around, you learn the big things and then all the little details."

"Yeah well Sam and I aren't normal are we," I agreed chuckling.

"No," She grinned at me before letting the smile fall, "Sam's dad's not so much a good guy. I mean he was never abusive like Paul's dad. Actually, he never stuck around long enough for Sam to know what kind of guy he was. Derrick Uley was this popular, athletic guy that was going somewhere, namely out of La Push. He wasn't the best student and didn't apply to university but he got some job lined up in California. Then he knocked up Sam's mom and the elders made him marry her. He resented her and Sam because the job fell through while he was here. After Sam was born, some other big thing came up and he took off, leaving Alia and Sam. He came back when that failed. The same thing played over again until Sam was four, then a pretty, blonde girl turned up on the res looking for him; she was about seven months pregnant. He laughed when the Elders admonished him and asked what they were going to do about it, they had already forced him to marry Alia. She threw him out and he took the girl and left. He turned up only once more when Sam was nine, all his big deals had left him broke and he was looking for money to pay child support, not that he ever sent Alia any. He had some new bimbo with him. He told Alia it was all her fault that he would have been someone big, done something important with his life if she hadn't got herself knocked up with that dumb kid and tied him to this bum reservation. Sam was right there with her; he heard the whole argument. My dad called your dad and they went out to see him, I'm not sure what they said to him but he left Alia alone after that. Sam knows he has at least one half sibling out there but he could have more."

"Alia never wanted to leave the res?"

Leah shook her head; "Alia was always one of the few who never had the desire to leave home. She loves it here, not just being surrounded by her people but the life this place offers. Kids play in the yard and walk to school by themselves. We had a problem with drug dealers coming out but the pack has taken care of them now and that was more of an issue with other kids. We all grew up with what mom calls the old values, helping out a neighbor, looking out for each others kids, family dinners and celebrating holidays with extended family."

"So my issues with control and being trapped by the imprint…"

"Really strikes a cord of Sam's, yeah, you were right that Sam needs to deal with his own issues. I'm just not sure he is. He sees that you are happy and building a life without him and despite that we all feel the pain eating away at him, he is convinced that the imprint can be appeased by watching over you and making sure you are happy, letting you live whatever life you choose."

"The imprint might be satisfied but what about Sam?"

"Sam wants to go home. He watches you and aches to be with you. I don't know how much of it is the imprint but when he is watching you, I don't like to phase. It might be over with him but there is only so much of I can take of this aching need and love he has for you, add that to the lust when he's watching you and I might turn into a bitter, lonely bitch or try to kill him and Paul already did that."

"What?" I pulled into a parking space and turned to look at him.

"We all saw the conversation you had with him on the cliffs. He sort of went crazy and attacked Sam who mostly just took the beating which is why Paul gave up trying to kill him, they didn't talk it out but came to a sort of truce I guess. They still work together but haven't phased together since. You'd have to talk to them about it."

"Ok" I took a deep breath, "Look, I am grateful for the insight into Sam, but I don't want our whole day to be about him and I want Sam to talk to me about these things. I need him to trust me enough to let me love him."

"So you really are just going to wait until he comes to you?" I nodded. "You do know how stubborn he is right?"

I laughed, "Yes, I know how stubborn he is, I also know how stubborn I am and besides, just because I am waiting for him doesn't mean I am not doing anything about trying to get him to want to come home."

"He already does want to come home."

I shook my head, "Not enough to work past his shit or for his stubborn ass to give in to his instincts."

"What instincts?" She asked frowning at me a little in thought.

"To claim his mate. Check your calendar Leah, it's the season for sex." I told her climbing out of the truck.

She got out, laughing. "That poor boy, you've been wearing those tiny shorts and mini skirts just to torture him."

I laughed and winked at her, "I get changed with the blinds open too."

We both laughed until it hurt as we crossed over to the shops.

When she stopped her giggles she turned to me again, "So what are we doing here today?"

I shrugged, "Getting lunch and doing a little shopping."

"Sounds good, I'm starving."

I laughed, "Would never have guessed you might be hungry."

"Shut it shortie."

"Oi, I am not that short, you are just supermodel tall."

We ate lunch at the same café Kim, Emily and I always hit up and then went shopping, Leah needed to fill out her wardrobe, she didn't fit into any of her pre-wolf clothes and hadn't bothered much with getting a new one besides some Wal-Mart dresses since they were always getting torn up. Now that she wasn't always wrecking her dresses all the time, she could spend the money on some new things.

While I was waiting to see what she had taken in to the change room, I decided to get her advice on something not even Kim and Emily knew.

"Hey Leah."

"Yeah Bell?" She asked coming out of the room.

"That looks great but the top is a little big."

She nodded, "Yeah, I think I'll take it in the size down along with these pants. So, what's up? You want to be done after this? I know you like shopping about as much as I do"

"No it's fine, actually I need your advice on something."

"What?"

I turned a little and lifted the hem of my shirt, "I got it just over two weeks ago. It's why I haven't been to the beach much, at least not in less than a tee and shorts or gone cliff jumping, trying to stay out of the sun and water."

"Oh my god Bella! Sam is going to freak!"

"You think he wont like it?" I asked, a little nervous. I loved the little tattoo.

"Are you kidding? You tattooed him to your back! It's like you marked yourself! Every man and wolf bone in his body is going to be doing the she's all mine happy dance." She was whisper yelling at me with a wide grin.

"So he'll like it then?"

"He'll love it." She squealed hugging me. "Let me see it again."

I turned around again and lifted my shirt to show her the tattoo on the left side of my lower back; it was a black wolf paw print.

"Did it hurt?"

"Some. Not to bad." I told her turning around. "It's finally healed so I can go swimming, I just have to wear a good sun block over it so the ink doesn't fade."

"We have to go to the beach!"

I laughed, "Yeah, we can get the guys to go cliff jumping tomorrow and take a couple jumps and then lay out a bit."

"You should also work in that garden in a cropped shirt, something that shows it off. Let me change back into my clothes. You go grab this shirt for me in a medium and I'll meet you at the till. We have another store to go to."

I laughed as she disappeared back into the change room and went to get the shirt for her. We paid for the things she had picked out and then she dragged me to a sports shop.

"Leah I don't do sports."

"You do yoga. Wolf mind meld, even if I didn't know from the others those images run through Sam's mind a lot. No more loose pants and fitted tees for you. Now you are going to practice in sports bras and fitted yoga pants or those sports bra tanks and mini yoga shorts." She pulled me through the store and picked out a pair of little white shorts grey Capri's with a band of pink at the top, black long pants with a band of white on the top, and a black tank with white swirls on the right side and sports bras in white, black, pink and gray. She also bought one yoga outfit of black Capri's and a red and black sports bra tank so I could teach her yoga as well. She thought it might help with phasing, like tai chi, which I never knew Jared had taken up after his first phase. No wonder he was always so mellow.

We drove back to La Push and I dropped her at Quil's house for patrol. I went home, put away my new yoga attire, and made myself dinner before settling out on my deck hammock chair to read an old copy of Sense and Sensibility. I could feel Sam's eyes on me and flicked my gaze to the woods. The sun had set and the bugs were out.

I sighed and stood stretching, "Night Sam." I spoke out to the woods and headed inside. I stayed strong in front of the pack but I worried he might never come home. I was content with my life here and my plan for the future. Even with the constant ache in my heart and the hole in my chest, I knew I would be happy with the life I had chosen. It didn't make me miss him any less. I was loosing hope. It was one of the reasons I had gotten the tattoo, to keep Sam with me always, even if we kept living this half empty life, near each other but never together.


	39. Chapter 39

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts I will update as often as I can. PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

**I was going to cut this chapter in half because it is so long but thought I'd give it all to you anyways since I have been keeping Sam to one chapter. Hope you enjoy. I am well into the next chapter so it should be up tonight or tomorrow. If you want to thank me for the updates and this nice long chapter please review. I love reading what you all think. **

SAM POV

The days were passing in a torturous haze. My sweet Bella was home. It still hurt not to be with her, to hold her in my arms but it helped somehow that she was home. What had me in a fowl mood these days was my own wolf instincts. I wanted to go to her so badly it hurt. I wanted to take her in my arms, lock us up in our home for a couple days and just be naked with her, relearning all the curves of her body with fingertips and tongue, kissing every freckle and scar. I wanted to lose myself in her and let all the stresses of the pack just float away. I could vividly recall every time I had ever touched or kissed her, almost worse, I could vividly recall every time she had touched me, every time she smiled, moaned, kissed me and every time she had screamed out my name in ecstasy. Mating season. I was fucked. I wanted her so badly my body ached with it before this, now it burned in every cell of my body. I needed to claim her, to make her mine, to hear her scream my name. Every day it was worse as her body called to me.

The day after she came home she had gone to Emily and Kim, bringing them and Paul securely back into her life. He still didn't phase with me but even without being connected with his mind, I could see how at peace he was. The happiness was in his eyes. All shadows of pain chased away. I knew he still felt my loss and hurt for it but Emily and Bella soothed his anger and his pain. Paul was whole again and maybe for the first time in his life, his soul was at peace.

When we finished the Forks job, Jared, Paul and I went to have lunch at the diner with Leah. Bella was out with Kim and Emily again. It was there that I saw her the first time since the fight. Well the first time when I wasn't a wolf or this close. They came in and Bella barely glanced over at us, just waving as Emily and Kim came to sit with their men. She went to the counter to talk to Sue and we shamelessly listened in.

She was wearing a very short white skirt, her long creamy legs bare. I was finding it difficult to concentrate on more than the thought and memories of having those legs wrapped around me. I tried to force myself to concentrate on the words she was speaking, they sent a jolt of happiness into my heart and as she walked over to us, I felt my already half hard cock swell. The tank top she was wearing clung gently to her curves, not to tight but fitted enough that I could perfectly see the curve of her breasts, the dip of her waist and the gentle swell of her hips. What made my whole body tingle was more than just the lust; it was what she had said to Sue. She was planning to stay. My Bella was making a life for herself here, a life in our home. Why hadn't she called for me? She knew I was out there.

She came over and hugged Paul before sitting next to him. She barely looked at me as she talked with Leah. I had to get out of there. If I didn't I would take her in my arms and fuck her until she was boneless and so sated that she never thought to want to leave me. That was when I realized it was August. I had felt it before, the increase in lust, the desire to find my mate. Now all that lust was centered on her. I was a guy, I thought about sex a lot and a freaking werewolf, we already had high sex drives and her smile or her scent usually made me want her. Now the lust was like a living thing within me and all it wanted was to bend her over this table and fuck her until she couldn't walk, to make love to her until she was begging for release and crying out my name. The wolf in me wanted to claim her, screamed at me to mark her as mine and to take her over and over again until she was round with our child. Fuck I had to get out of there. It was only the beginning. August was when it began and it tapered off in October, September was the month we really had to fight our instincts. We had all teased Jared about it. Every one of us felt the restlessness and lust but having his imprint turned Jared into… well Paul, he was always so worked up. It was already October when Paul imprinted on Emily so it wasn't as bad for him; not that he didn't get her into bed at the first opportunity.

I hadn't been with Bella since June and my whole being cried out with the need for her. It was only August. September was going to be hell. I hoped it would be cold, if I saw her in any more of those little skirts I'd take her home fuck her and mark her, then she would grow to hate me.

I left and went back to work, it was almost as hard to walk away this time as it had been the last time but I loved her enough to fight the wolf. I didn't fight the imprint; I continued to watch her, to sleep in the woods by the house and to make sure she was happy and cared for.

She drew the pack back around her and it killed me to watch them with her, to watch her through their memories. She would garden in tiny shorts and fitted tees. She would come out in the yard with a mat and do all these sexy twists and bends. When she went out, she wore more tiny skirts, and fitted tops. It was torture. I was in an almost constant haze of lustful need. I went about the days half hard and thinking about her. When I saw her, it was almost painful not to take her.

She knew I was out here. In the mornings when she went inside from her bendy twisting stretches she would call good morning to me out in the woods. Paul got her an odd hammock chair she seemed to love and most nights she would read for a while out on the patio, calling goodnight out to me in the woods before going in. Still she never called for me to come to her. She was building a life here, a life with that pack, she seemed happy, content and it made me happy to see her that way, living the life she wanted, there in our home, which she had finally made hers, putting down her roots as she planted her garden and painted. I loved that she was building a life here; it helped ease the pain of the imprint more as I watched over her, a silent protector. As much as it eased the pain of the imprint, it made the ache in my heart worse. My Bella was building a life here but it was a life without me. She mothered the pack and let them take care of her. She Emily and Kim were almost inseparable now. I was happy for her but it hurt that as she went to each of them, she never came to me.

She had begun to talk to me as she lay out in the afternoons reading on her hammock. It was heaven and hell. I wanted to hold her, to kiss away her tears, to laugh with her. With every story, she told me I loved her more. She held nothing back from me, even talking about David, how they met, how she had fallen for him. I couldn't help the growl I let out when she first mentioned him but otherwise I just lay there listening to her gentle voice as she shared her life, her whole world with me. From the mundane tasks she did each day to her hopes and dreams, she told me everything she remembered, thought, felt and dreamed. I ached with need and love for her. Sometimes she would comment about a life we might have together in the future and each time my heart swelled and simultaneously twisted in pain. I knew she was waiting for me to come to her. I had seen it out of the pack's minds. I wasn't sure if I could give her what she wanted, what she needed and she was so happy without me. I hadn't been able to give her that, to make her feel happiness and peace. I didn't want to tip that balance she had only just reached within herself. I couldn't be selfish. I wanted her but she needed something more. I would take care of her, watch over her, love her and leave her to live her life. Leave her to her beautiful new life. At least it was here, in La Push and in our home.

Leah was angry with me again. Bella had reunited with all the pack but her. She felt that Bella had trusted her to be there when Bella needed her and she wasn't. I hadn't let her be. Bella had trusted her with her history, all that pain and fear, and with that trust, she had made Leah her sister. Leah loved her little sister and once Leah loved you, her loyalty was unswerving. Now Bella didn't go to her, didn't trust her and it was my fault. The loyalty and love she still held for me kept her from truly hating me or abandoning me but she was angry with me and very hurt. I hated to hurt her. I always had. I hoped Bella went to her soon.

I also knew my mother had been talking about Bella and I breaking up and I hadn't said anything to her. I still wasn't speaking to her after the way she had treated Bella. Leah did though. It gave me a whole new respect for her. She had been my girlfriend, my first love and when things changed, she had become my friend. I knew a part of me still loved her and would always love her but the day she faced down my mother that love grew and settled in a way I never expected. Leah was a friend and my pack sister before, now she was more, she was my Bella's sister.

Paul, Jared and I were in the diner having lunch with Leah. Kim and Emily were off with Bella again. My mother came into the diner with Kim's mother who glared over at Jared before the two of them picked a table and sat. I could feel my mother's eyes on me and we all easily heard their conversation in the nearly empty diner.

"Alia?"

"Sorry Sarah, I was just lost in thought."

"What about?"

"Sam."

"Yes, I saw him sitting with that boy my daughter is blinded by." Sarah sniffed sitting with her back to us. Jared's head dropped a little, his fists clenching, "She can do so much better then that res bum. You know he didn't even apply to college. Just went begging your son for a job. It's a wonder he passed high school."

"Sam says he's a good guy." In that moment, I was grateful to her. Of course in the next couple moments I wanted to strangle her.

"Yes well Sam has far to generous a heart. Kim should have taken the acceptance to one of the colleges I had her apply to in the city. She would have met a nice man there and been able to build a better life with him. I still have hopes that she might come to her senses before it's to late."

"I still wish my Sam had taken his scholarship but I understood his not wanting to leave Leah and he's so smart he didn't really need college. I'm so proud of him having built his own business and he works for the council, he really is bettering our community."

"He's a good boy, I wouldn't have any issue if Kim were to have decided to stay in La Push with him, he has ambition and brains, he'll give his wife the life she deserves. I'm sure that's why Sue still loves him too."

"Yes well, all he needs now is to settle down with Leah like they planned. Now that he's gotten over the dalliance with the little pale-face they seem to be getting back on track. I hear they spend a lot of time together these days. Sam just needed to get it out of his system. Have his fun before marrying. He and Leah will be perfect together. I was worried for a bit there when I saw he'd actually given Leah's ring to the girl but it seems to have all worked out. She's likely gone back to the city, an aimless waif unable to commit to a family just like her mother no doubt. All I care is that she is gone and I can count on Leah to put Sam back on track. It will be such a joy to plan their wedding."

We had all vaguely registered Leah get up from the table as we listened, all our focus on the other table. I was trying to still the shaking in my form. I had never been so upset with my mother, so disappointed in her, as I was when it came to how she treated Bella.

None of us were paying attention to Leah as she crossed the room until she stopped by their table and spoke to my mother. "You're right, you can count on me to get Sam back on track." We all froze and turned to watch, not trying to hide our eavesdropping now.

"Leah," My mother turned to her smiling.

"You can count on me to help Sam, Alia," Leah continued, "But that isn't marrying me. Sam and I will never be anything more than friends. I love him but he broke my heart. He left me and you know what, now I'm glad he did because Sam is not the right guy for me and I am not the right girl for him. Bella is and one day I hope to find someone as perfect for me as they are for each other." I could see the fine trembling in Leah's hands as she glared at my mother.

"Leah, honey, you don't mean that. You and Sam…"

"Are over, have been over for years and will never be more than friends. Sam belongs with Bella and I will be damned sure to help him get her back."

"I'm sure she is a nice girl Leah but Sam loves you."

"No he doesn't, even back then he didn't love me enough to make it work. He didn't love me like he loves her and I am happy for him because he deserves to be happy. As his mother you should be fucking ecstatic he found the kind of love he has with Bella." My mother gaped at her as Leah turned on Sarah, "That goes for you too Sarah. Jared fucking worships the ground your daughter walks on. She couldn't find a man to love her or treat her half as good as Jared and for your information, Jared graduated top of his class with a 3.9 grade point average in his regular classes and a 4.8 in his AP classes, which most of his were. He could get into any school in the country. He didn't apply because he hasn't decided what he wants to do, because he's happy helping Sam out and just being with Kim because he fucking loves her."

I was never more proud of my pack sister. I could see the love and gratitude for her in Jared's eyes as Paul patted him on the shoulder, "About time someone gave it to her about you and Kim." I nodded in agreement and we turned our attention back to Leah who had turned hers back to Alia.

"One more thing Alia. Sam and I have a long history and I do love him, as a friend, but Bella is the sweetest and strongest woman I have ever met, she has not had an easy life and she still opens her heart to people, accepting them, flaws and all. She is my sister and when it comes down to Sam or Bella, I choose Bella. I will help him get back on track because he loves her and can make her happy but he damn well better learn to compromise and make it work or I will kick his shit for hurting her." She sent the two women one last glare, "Learn to support your kids and be grateful they have the kind of love most people only dream about." She focused on my mother, "And drop the Leah and Sam delusion. Even if Bella weren't perfect for him, I am not and will never be more than friends with him." With that she spun around and came back to our table.

Jared stood up and hugged her, "Thanks Leah."

She hugged him back, "Go find Kim.

Jared turned to check with me and I nodded to tell him to go, Paul and I could finish off the day without him, "Leah…"

"No." She cut me off. "Listen up Sam. My sister is trying. We have both heard from the minds of the pack that she waiting for you. I can't understand why you wont just go to her. It's what you both want. This staying away for Bella and what she wants shit, I understood it before but not now. She doesn't see La Push as a cage, she's chosen to make a life here and she wants that life to be with you. I don't understand why you won't fight for her. I never understood why you just gave up with me either but I wasn't your soul mate and she is so fucking fight for her. Be the man she needs you to be. Fuck, all she's asking is that you let her know and love you. Why can't you give that to her? You wont even stand up to your fucking mother as she sits there and makes things worse for Bella. No wonder my sister won't come to me, she probably believes all that shit Alia is spouting around the res and you just fucking let her. Bella knows what life she wants and she is making it happen, here in La Push. She wants you and she is doing her damnedest to get past all her issues, to be ready to be the woman you need her to be. All she needs is for you to fucking choose her, fucking take a stand and claim her. Be the man she needs you to be and the fucking man she deserves and let her love you." Leah spun on her heal and walked into the kitchen.

Her voice had been harsh and clear but low so only Paul and I heard. I knew she was right. I had already seen the conversation she'd had with Paul. It was the first time he'd phased with me since our fight. It was the very same day he had talked with her, I was settling in the woods for the night when I felt his mind connect to mine.

_Trouble?_ I thought at him.

_No._ He replied. I knew he was sitting on the cliff where he and my Bella always went to talk. _She wants you Sam. She wants you to go home to her._

_Paul._ My thought was broken as he replayed his visit with her that morning. When the last image faded from his mind he sent me one thought before phasing back, _Go to her Sam, love her and let her love you, the rest will come._

I had just sat there listening to her heartbeat as she moved about the house. It had been three weeks and I had still done nothing about it. It was no longer about Bella, it was about me, maybe it always had been, at least in part. I just wasn't sure I could be that man for her. I wanted to protect and love her. I just wasn't sure I could let her love me, not the way she wanted to. She owned me, my whole world was about her, she could so easily crush me with her little finger. I knew I would die if anything happened to her. I just couldn't give her that last piece of my soul. I was already bound to her forever, I loved her more than life itself but I couldn't let her love me.

Leah was right. When I calmed down and remembered the wolf legends I came out of the woods and Old Quil found me. He retold all the legends and it helped that I knew for sure I wasn't crazy. He, Harry and Billy talked to me for a few hours before Billy tilted his head in thought and looked me in the eyes, "Think human Sam. Remember what it feels like to be you." A minute later and I was sitting stark naked in front of them, grateful to be me again. All the legends about becoming a wolf and for weeks I was freaked out and didn't know how to turn back. I was finally able to go back to my life. Leah was upset I had disappeared but I could practically feel the relief come off her when she saw me the next day. My life with Leah had all been planned out. We had started dating in high school, well she still had a year left but I'd graduated and then been the one to bring up getting engaged. I knew I loved her; not being with Leah had never really crossed my mind until then. I knew I had to give up my scholarship, stay in La Push. I saw the life I had planned wash down the drain and I let Leah wash down with it. I never even tried to work things out. For a week I mostly ignored her, I didn't bother to respond when she asked where I had been, she was right, I just gave up. I didn't want her to be stuck here in La Push with me either; she could still have the life she wanted. At least she could until she phased. By then, Jared had imprinted and we knew that myth was real as well. Leah wasn't my imprint and there was a year of shit between us so we did our best to become friends.

I loved Leah, I would never deny that but I had been with her because it was easy and it was expected at that point that we would get engaged and when Leah graduated, we would marry. I would go to Washington State and come back to see her when I could until after the wedding. I was going to be a better man than my father. I was going to love her and take care of her like my father should have loved and taken care of my mother. I was more like him that I thought though because as soon as I had an out I took it. I never cheated on her; that was one thing I could hold above the bastard who fathered me. I never ran around on a girl I claimed to love. I was also a lot more careful not to knock her up. Bastard. I wondered briefly how many siblings I had out there, hell we knew Embry had to be fathered by my, Jake's or Paul's father and we were all pretty sure it was mine. Billy had adored his wife and I'd have bet that if he were a wolf she was his imprint. Paul's father was an abusive prick but he pretty well stuck to tossing his wife around and drinking, not fucking around. It was a possibility of course but it was an even greater one that it had been my dad.

Was I taking an easy out with Bella? Was there an easy out when it came to an imprint? Everything had just been so hard for us. Maybe I wasn't meant to be with her like that. I wanted her. I could not even pretend to deny that. I was pretty sure my balls were going to fall off they were blue so often watching her. It was more than wanting her though. I loved her. Everything about her was amazing and beautiful; there was nothing I didn't know about her. I marveled at her strength and after hearing he talk the last few weeks I wondered how she was not more of a mess. I wondered how she had ever considered a relationship with me let alone ever let me touch her. She had been dragged through hell. Now here, she had some peace, she was happy. I hadn't made her happy. No. This wasn't an easy out. I didn't want out. I wanted her to be happy. I wanted to not rock her perfectly balanced life. I didn't want her to have to fight to be with me. I wanted it to be easy for her. Leah didn't understand. I was fighting for Bella. I was fighting every instinct inside of me that screamed to take her, to fuck her, to marry her, to mark her, to knock her up before she had the chance to think or leave me. I couldn't do that though. I couldn't trap her like that. She might choose to be here now but she might want to leave one day. She might decide to finish school somewhere else or find a job at a school somewhere far from here. I would not be my mother. I would not trap her into a life she didn't want. I would not let her resent me like my father did me. I would not be as selfish as they were.

Bella was my imprint. I would take care of her, watch over her and love her. I had to. What scared me was the one thought that I had hidden from the pack, one half a second when I had held her in my arms before she woke that last morning. As much as I told myself I didn't want out, that I was doing all this for her a part of me went back to that one little thought and I hated myself because in that millisecond, I had resented her. I had resented the imprint. When I had become a wolf, I was angry it was taking away my life and all my choices. The imprint was taking away more of my life. It was forcing me to need her and I hated needing anything. I loved Bella with everything I was. I would always love Bella with all that I am but for the smallest of moments I had hated that I needed her, hated that I was so weak that I couldn't breathe at the thought of loosing her. I wanted her to be happy. I was terrified that she would grow to resent me and terrified that I would become like my father, that I would resent being a wolf again and thus resent her, my beautiful, strong, perfect imprint. She was perfection and I was unworthy. I deserved to suffer, to watch her happily living her life without me because I had, if only for a second, resented loving her. I had been angry with her for being hurt because it was a hurt I could not heal. I deserved to ache with need to love her because I did not deserve for her to love me.

Bella finally did contact Leah. She showed up at the diner to take her for lunch on the same day the leeches returned. I was building the porch on the renovation we were doing when I heard Seth's call go up.

Paul, Jared and I ran into the woods and stripped, phasing and immediately running towards our brothers.

_Leech._ Seth told us.

_Where?_ I demanded, my mind slipping to Bella.

_With Leah in PA, she told Emily she wanted her sister back. _Paul told me, part of his mind on Emily at the bakery.

_Do you know the scent Seth?_ Jared asked his mind on Kim at the bakery with Emily.

_Cullen's_ Seth replied instantly, _and a couple others. I'm at the border with them now. Doctor Leech wants to talk to you. _

_Embry?_ I asked.

_Here too. Fucking leeches stink why couldn't they just have stayed gone?_

_Paul, Jared and I are a minute out, you and Quil run the border; make sure no one else is around. Seth stay there until we get there then call your sister, tell her to keep her eyes and nose out. Collin go check on Emily and Kim, Brady go tell the elders what's going on, call Charlie as well, I want all of them at the council house._

They were doing as I said before the words were fully out of my mouth and when Jared, Paul and I hit the clearing Seth was sitting down alone at the edge of the woods, his eyes trying to watch all of them at once. Leaving him alone was a risk but I had a modicum of trust in the doctor leech.

I took point, Paul on my left and Jared on my right, Seth took off into the woods as soon as had steeped through the trees.

"Sam." The doctor leech called out.

_Where have you been?_ I thought at the mind reader.

"We went to see some friends about Bella." He replied.

I growled at him.

"Where is my niece?" The big one demanded. Paul and I both growled at him.

"Please." The doctor leech took a step forward. "If you could change back so we can talk."

_The doctor leech, pixie fortune cookie and her mate only_. I thought at the mind reader again.

He nodded and turned to the doctor, "Carlisle, he says all of us but you, Jasper and Alice have to leave. You are the only ones he has any faith in."

He nodded and turned to the others, "You all go back to the house. I'll talk with Sam."

"No." The big one protested.

"Emmett." The blond girl took his arm.

"She's my family." He growled at us. We growled back and I felt an unnatural calm. I turned to eye the blond empath nodding to him.

"Emmett, please." The doctor turned his back on us to look at him. "We will meet with Bella another day. Go back to the house with our guests."

The big one nodded and I saw the caramel haired woman move to kiss her mate. _She can stay too._ I told the mind reader.

"Esme can stay." He told them before nodding to me and turning to run with the others back through the trees to their lands.

When all but the four of them were gone, I turned and went back to the woods to phase and pull on my work jeans. When I came back out Seth had returned from calling his sister and sat at the edge of the woods just behind Paul. Jake had arrived as well and took my place in front of Jared and Paul.

"Sam." The doctor greeted me again as I moved in front of the pack in human form.

"Carlisle." I nodded to him.

"How is Bella?"

"Fine." I told him. "Who are your friends?"

"When Bella was visiting I explained to her I had a friend with some experience with the fey. We went these last weeks to speak with her and it led us to seek out a few nomads. Siobhan and her coven have returned with us to speak with her about what we have learned. There are three of them and while they do not share our diet they have agreed not to hunt in the area and will not step foot on your lands."

"They are not protected by our treaty Carlisle but because they are here for my mate I will allow it. They abide by all the same rules you do and if anyone is bitten we will hunt them down." He nodded in understanding. "What is it you have learned?"

"Where is Bella?"

"Esme?" I questioned her name and she nodded. "My mate is spending the day with a pack sister. If she is in immediate danger…" I felt fear well up in me and sent a grateful nod to the empath at the corresponding wave of calm he sent.

"She is in no immediate danger and we will do our best to keep it that way. We would however like very much to speak with her on the matter." The doctor stepped in again.

"Fine." I agreed. "She wishes to speak with her former relative at any rate."

"Emmett." Esme said softly, "Her uncle's name is Emmett and his wife Rosalie."

I nodded to her, "You can tell Emmett, that I will arrange for him to meet her here. The pack will be with her and she will remain on pack lands. I don't care if he used to share the same blood line he doesn't come within ten feet of her."

Esme looked sad but the doctor nodded in understanding. "When?"

"When Bella wishes. One of us will contact you then."

"How many of us can come?" The pixie eight ball asked, bouncing a little.

I wanted to laugh at her excitement but kept my face stern, "All of you. None of us will phase so you will need the mind reader." I turned to the empath, "I am trusting you to keep the situation steady." He nodded and I turned to his mate, "Whatever this thing is can you see it?"

"I can and I will be watching for any decision which might affect this area. I'll let you know." She grinned at me.

"Thank you." I couldn't help the small smile before I turned back to the doctor. "If one of your _friends_ breaks the treaty in any way we will retaliate against your whole coven. They are your responsibility." he nodded in understanding. "I'll speak with Bella and arrange for her to meet you. It will have to be at night when the pack is all free. She will not be returning to your lands. You may speak with her by phone or with the pack present." Again, he nodded in understanding. "We will contact you with the night of her choice."

"Thank you Sam." He nodded, "We will wait to hear from you." They all turned their backs to us and ran into the woods. I respected the show of trust. I pulled off my jeans again and the four of us ran back into the woods.

_Want me to talk to Bella._ Paul thought at me.

_No._ I told him. I wanted to go to her, to be near her, to talk to her and now I had an excuse to.

_You never needed one._ Jake cut into my thoughts. _She's been waiting for you._ I growled at him and he growled back, _You are not just hurting yourself by being such a stubborn prick. All the pack hurts with you. __**She**__ hurts with you._

I ignored him, _Embry, Quil, the borders?_

_All clear boss. _They thought back to me.

_Jared, Paul go back to work. Seth go tell Collin and Brady they can drop guard on the imprints and council, call Leah too and let her know all is well. Jake… just fuck off and do what ever you were doing before._

We all split up and I felt them all phasing out, Embry and Quil still running patrol.

_Paul? _I felt him still in my head and was surprised, he hadn't phased with me since I had left Bella.

_She misses you. Jake's right, it hurts her. I know she pretends she's happy but we all know different. Just look at her Sam. Her eyes have this hallow look that wasn't there before, even when she laughs, you can see that piece of her missing. I hate what this is doing to the two of you. Bella comes first, well next to Emily, even when it means it's against you. You are my brother Sam and my Alpha. I respect you but you are wrong in this. You want to talk to Bells, then you don't need an excuse. Just go to her. She has been calling to you for a month._

_She has never asked me to come home._ I protested.

His mind shot to an image of her in short jean shorts and a fitted gray tee as she worked in the garden and then to her in a short skirt and fitted lace edged tank as she walked into the diner. His next thought was one out of my own head, her laying in the hammock a book lying on her stomach as she talked to me about the past and the future, her sweet musical voice saying "If we have kids." _She has been calling for you from the moment she left Lore's house man._

_I…_ my mind shot to that morning that instant burned into my brain that I refused to think about, the shameful moment I hid from the pack.

_Resenting what we are isn't the same as resenting her. Being hurt that she is hurt, being angry that you can't make her better. That isn't resentment Sam. I have resented being a wolf from the moment I phased. I wanted nothing more than to leave this fucking reservation and everything that had anything to do with it. I don't resent Emily because part of me still hates this. I love to run, tearing up Leeches is fucking cathartic therapy for my temper, the stamina and everything that comes with it is great but I still resent the choices it took from me. Emily is the fucking priceless gift I get for having this curse. I'd choose to become a werewolf if it was a choice between my life with her here like this and having the chance to leave here for the life that I used to think I wanted. The question is what life do you want. The one you dreamed of before being a wolf or the one with Bella? I'm pretty sure it's Bella but she isn't. She needs you to choose her._

_When did you get so fucking smart?_

He mentally shrugged, _Fuck if I know. I think your mate is rubbing off on me. She is all about knowing your emotions and connecting with them. She's even embraced all the mad she had bottled up._ He was mentally laughing at another image from my head from when she had thrown a garden spade into the woods at me and screamed before stomping into the house.

_That was defiantly your influence._ I growled at him. He just laughed harder.

_Go talk to her Sam. Hell, go fuck her senseless. You both want it so just go work it out._

He took off back to the site; I spent all night thinking about Paul's words. If I could choose not to be a werewolf but I had to give up my life with Bella would I? Well that was the fucking easiest decision I would ever make… fuck no. I'd be a fucking were-goat if I got to love her in the deal. So why was it so fucking hard to decide to go to her? Shit. I was wrong to leave her and I knew it. She was right, of course; I had shut her out. I focused on loving and protecting her, I made it about her but love was about a partnership. How could I expect her to give all of herself to me when I refused to give her all of myself? She did it though. She gave me everything. Lying outside she would tell me everything she hoped for, everything she dreamed about. She shared her fears and insecurities with me. Every good and bad memory, she left nothing out when she talked to me. She built her life here and lived it, all the while, waiting so patiently for me to come home to her. Well, torturing me with short shorts and little shirts, to share her frustration but patiently as she could.

I ran home and saw that she had come outside and was looking over her garden. I wanted to go to her but stopped in my tracks when I saw her bend over to pull a weed. There on her back was the print of a wolf paw. My whole body was shaking with desire and need as I watched her move to do her yoga. My knees felt weak as I stared at her. I wanted her so badly that it physically hurt not to go to her.

_Sam. Leeches on the border._

I growled at Seth in frustration. _Who?_

_The one that was with the Cullen's yesterday, she's alone._

_Fuck. _I swore looking back to Bella. She had finished and disappeared into the house calling good morning to me as she always did. _Don't set up the alarm yet. I'm coming._

I took off in the direction of the border. I would deal with the leeches and then be back for her.

The Cullen's were at the border when I arrived.

_What's going on?_ I thought at the mind reader.

"This is Siobhan. She wished to meet you." Carlisle answered my growl, not needing the translation of my thoughts.

"Please. Carlisle told us, my coven and I will be protected under their treaty while we are here and I wanted to assure you we would be adopting their diet during our stay. I also wanted to make sure any of your kind knew who we were so mistakes were not made."

_Tell her we have their scent and so long as none of them cross into our lands or hunt humans, none of us will attack. Once one of us has the scent, we all do. You know this mind reader._ I growled again frustrated, my mind still on Bella doing twists and bends. The brand of my paw tattooed on her pale perfect back.

"He says the same thing Carlisle did. Once one of them has your scent, they all do. Stay off their land and don't bite anyone and they will leave you alone." The mind reader sounded bored.

"I am." He replied to my thought. "I didn't know humans could bend like that though." He laughed while I growled at him.

The empath sent a wave of calm, "Edward." He warned.

_Is there anything else?_ I demanded.

"He wants to know if there is anything else."

"I'd prefer talking to him myself instead of you." The woman replied with a strong Irish lilt.

I shook my massive head at her; _Say what you need to say._

"Just say what you need to say." The mind reader had gone back to boredom.

"There is nothing more that cannot wait until we meet with Bella." The doctor cut in. Have you had a chance to speak with her about it?"

_No. I will speak with her tomorrow. Expect to meet us in the next night or two. Tonight is a bonfire; we will be busy._ The mind reader relayed the message while my mind strayed to my mate in a mini skirt. Sometimes mating season really was distracting.

"We will await your call." The doctor nodded.

_If you remember how to use a phone maybe next time one of you wanted a quick chat you might use one._ I thought mildly annoyed.

The mind reader snorted in amusement and relayed the thought.

The others laughed or smiled as well. The doctor nodded, "Of course." I turned and disappeared into the woods.

My mind was already straying to Bella as we ran back towards home.

_She's at the beach today._ Seth cut into my thoughts.

_Fine, head there now. Tell the pack what happened. I'm going to talk to the elders about yesterday and today._

_Jake already did last night when you didn't phase back._ Seth interrupted me again.

_Good. Head out then. I'll run a quick circuit and see you later._

Both of them took off and I ran the borders. I knew I was chickening out but now that my head wasn't as clouded by lust I needed to think about what to tell Bella. We would have been married in a couple weeks. She would have been my wife. My thoughts ran away with me, images of Bella in a white dress and then round with our child filled my head. These thoughts quickly diverted into how she would get that way. _Fuck._ I cursed myself as my thoughts ran away with me. I had unconsciously followed her scent to the cliffs. I saw her on the edge of the cliff messing around with Jake and Leah. I couldn't help the low growl that escaped. She turned and called my name before Jake picked her up and tossed her off the cliff jumping after her.

I shook off the fear that gripped my heart and waited in the tree line to see her come out of the water before taking off. I went home and showered in the spare bathroom. It was the first I had been in our house since she had painted. It looked great. So open and yet warm and inviting. The thing that made my gut clench was the grouping of frames connected into one piece, the photo's of us and our families around the center frame. A blank frame. I had never gotten that picture of us together taken for her. How could I not have a single photo with her? I had failed her in something so small.

After I showered, I pulled on clean clothes and went out front to sit on the steps and wait for her. It was time to talk to her. If I could only keep in check the need to fuck her until she couldn't stand let alone walk straight or even speak from screaming my name. I saw her walking up the drive and grew impossibly harder. She was so beautiful it hurt. Fucking mating season. Shit I wanted her so badly I couldn't fucking see straight. Months, it had been months since I had touched her. She was supposed to be my wife in only a few weeks and I had fucked that up. I had been to scared to see that she was scared. Both of us living in the past. Hell at least she was living in her own past; I was living in my parents. Terrified of us growing to resent each other but I could never resent her. I loved her more than life itself, needed her more than air. She was my universe, the imprint made sure of that but she was also my very heart and soul. I just had to convince her of it. I had to convince her I would never abandon her and hope that she could trust that even after I had done just that, abandoned her when she needed me, running away because I couldn't take her pain away. She had never expected me to; she had only needed me to be there.

She stopped a foot away from me, "Sam."

My mind scrambled and all I could think about were her incredibly long legs, the perfect curve of her hips, the swell of her breasts, the sexy pout of her lower lip and pretty bow of her upper. I stayed perfectly still, unable to move "Bella." I replied, fighting the need to pull her to me and tear off her clothes. My mind went blank; there was nothing but her and the heat coursing through my body. I had meant to bring up the leeches, ask her about seeing them, to show her I would be there for her, support her and find ways to make what she wanted happen. I couldn't speak though, couldn't even think. All I could do was sit there, drinking in the sight of her and fight the flood of desire.


	40. Chapter 40

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

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The next morning I got up and dressed in my new fitted dark gray yoga Capri's with the pink band at the top and the matching pick sports bra. I had dreamt about Sam the night before, not unusual since I had been dreaming about him since before I had known what he was, his wolf form protecting me in my dreams. This time I did not dream about that, or making love as I had for so many weeks since I had returned to our home, sleeping in our bed. Last night I had dreamt of him as a sweet little boy, listening to his father tell his mother his failure was her fault, blaming Sam, resenting his beautiful son. I hated him then, more than I had hated anyone. More even then I hated David. Derrick Uley had hurt Sam and I wished I could make him suffer for it.

I had tried not to react too much when Leah had told me, trying not to even think about it as she spoke. The pain that had washed through me for him was almost physical. I woke from the dream crying, wishing I could hold Sam and tell him I loved him that I would never resent him. He was perfect and I did not deserve him. I knew I had hurt him and I hated it but if he let me, I would love him right this time.

I ate a light breakfast and went out to tend to my flowers and herb garden. I could feel Sam's eyes on me as I got my yoga mat and spread it on the grass to begin my routine. When I was finished I wiped the sweat from my face with my little hand towel and rolled up my matt, "Morning Sam." I called over my shoulder to the woods as I went back into the house to shower.

I put on the little white string bikini I had gotten while shopping with Kim and Emily, making sure to double knot the ties so it wouldn't come off while jumping the cliff. I lathered on a low-grade sunscreen but made sure to use the little bottle of sunblock on my tattoo. I pulled the faded ripped bottom light jean shorts from my closet and pulled them on with a sheer white racer back tank and white flip-flops.

I grabbed my beach bag, tossed in the sunscreen and sunblock to reuse later along with a beach towel and a child psychology book, and headed out. I left my truck and walked the fifteen minutes to Paul's to help Emily make snacks and drinks to fill a cooler with. Kim and Leah showed up half an hour later to help us finish up and then we headed out to the beach, leaving the cooler for Paul and the guys to bring later.

We laid out our towels and stripped to our suits to lie in the sun for a while.

"Oh my god Bella!" Kim screeched.

"What?" I turned around looking to see what she was so excited about, forgetting she hadn't yet seen my tattoo.

"No way!" Emily cried as I turned.

"When did you get a tattoo?" Kim demanded, turning the light bulb in my head on.

I blushed, "Oh, um, just over two weeks ago. Do you like it?"

"Let me see it." Emily came closer, turning me around. "It looks amazing."

"Did it hurt?" Kim asked coming over for a better look.

I shrugged, "A little bit."

"It's Sam." Leah told them.

"Of course it represents Sam." Kim rolled her eyes, "It's not like there is another wolf running around La Push that she is in love with."

"You marked yourself." Emily laughed. "He's got issues about doing it so you did it your own way."

"That's what I said." Leah said laughing.

"She branded herself. Sam still has to mark her." Kim insisted. "It looks so hot Bella. Sam is going to flip when he sees it."

"He already has." I told them as we settled down on the towels.

"He has?" Leah asked.

I nodded, "He was in the woods this morning watching me tend my garden and do yoga. I was wearing the yoga pants and a sports bra."

"What happened?" Emily practically demanded.

"Nothing." I shrugged. "I felt him watching me, but it's nothing new so I went about my routine, called good morning to him in the woods and went inside to shower and get ready for the beach."

Emily and Leah both looked disappointed but Kim was not deterred, "Maybe he just didn't get a clear look at it, I mean you branded his wolf print on you."

"Not just his wolf actually." I told them.

"What do you mean?"

"I told you," Leah said, "It's Sam. Look at the pad of the paw, his name is in the design."

"No way, I didn't see that. Turn over." Kim demanded.

I rolled my eyes and laid back, rolling onto my stomach while Kim and Emily came to see what Leah's sharp wolf eyes had already caught.

"So maybe Kim's right and he just didn't see it." Emily suggested sitting back on her towel.

I sat back up, "I did it for me, not Sam, Emily." I told them.

"He will come back to you Bella." Kim tried to reassure me.

I shook my head, "I'm not impatient Kim, I will wait for him, but I'm beginning to think that maybe he just doesn't want to."

"He does." Leah assured me. "I told you, being in his head is no picnic and he is definitely struggling against all that wolfy lust."

I sighed, "Maybe he's just not ready yet. It's only been a month since I left Lore's house. He might need time to see that I really do want this life."

"You'd think he'd just take the hint out of one of our heads." Leah grumbled.

I laughed at her and we all settled down to soak up the sun until the boys arrived.

When they did finally show up with the coolers we ate lunch and watched them mess around on the beach, tossing a ball around. It was getting hot, the summer had stretched into early September and we were all enjoying the last days before the younger guys went back to school and the long months of rain returned. After about an hour we decided it was time to cool off and yelled at the boys to go up to jump the cliff.

Paul saw my tattoo first.

"Shit Bells! Is that real?" He came over and examined the ink. "It's Sam."

I rolled my eyes, "Shit Sherlock, did you figure that one out all by yourself or did you need Emily to help?"

"Smartass." he lightly shoved my shoulder.

"Let me see." Seth exclaimed, coming over. All the boys took a turn and exclaimed how cool it was and I could see Paul eyeing Emily.

"I'd like one." Kim exclaimed causing Jared to nearly trip.

"You would?" he asked looking up and down her body heatedly.

She nodded, "I wanted a wolf paw print on my hip."

"Well, I suppose a little one would be really cute." Emily agreed, "But I'd rather it on the inside of my ankle."

"Come on." Paul said picking her up.

"Well not now Paul." She laughed.

He pouted and then kissed her senseless.

"You really want one too Kim?" Jared asked his eyes still heatedly watching her.

She nodded, "I'd want mine just the outline with a J in it." She said as she thought.

Jared yanked her into his arms and began to kiss her.

"Ok, ok. Break it up." Leah tossed the football at Jared's back and smacked Paul upside the head. "Let's go jump off this damn cliff."

The guys were all laughing as us girls linked arms and led the way up the cliff, Paul and Jared close at our heals and rather noticeable bulges in their shorts. I had a feeling the girls would be disappearing soon at least until the bonfire tonight.

I was right. Paul took Emily off the cliff first; he still had issues with her jumping so held her tightly to him as they went over. Kim wrapped herself in Jared's arms and kissed him as they went over. I went over hand in hand with Jake and the other guys did flips or tossed each other off after us. Paul, Emily, Jared and Kim took off home instead of jumping a second time.

The rest of us trekked back up. Leah and I were messing around with Jake at the cliff when I heard a low growl.

"Sam?" I turned from them to the woods. The moment I had let my guard down though, Jake picked me up and tossed me over the cliff, jumping after me.

We went back up a third time but there was definitely no Sam and I wondered if I had imagined the low growl. Leah and I decided to lie out on the beach again to dry while the boys play fought in the shallow water.

A little while later I walked back home to shower and change before the bonfire. I was almost at the house when I saw Sam sitting in loose cargo shorts on the patio steps. I slowed my steps but kept walking until I was in front of him.

"Sam?" My voice was only just above a whisper and I could feel my body trembling. I hadn't been this close to him since that day in the diner when I sat across from him. He was leaner, the lines of his body sharp, each muscle perfectly defined. I didn't think he had an ounce of body fat on him. He had always been muscular, all of the wolves were huge, but his was a leaner strength now. I had always thought the wolves an odd mix of wolf and bear, but Sam was all wolf now, lean strength and steady watchful gaze.

"Bella." His gaze raked over my body before returning to my face to peer steadily at me. We stared at each other in silence, unmoving; with him sitting on the steps and me standing, we were perfectly eye level.

"What are you doing here?" I finally asked.

"It's my house." He said simply.

I bit back tears, when he left Sam hadn't asked me to leave, "Do you want me to leave?" He just stared at me silently; I could see his chest rising and falling, his breathe deep but uneven and his fists clenched against the tiny tremble.

I closed my eyes and took a relaxing breath, when I opened them I lifted my chin, "I'm going to shower. There's a bonfire tonight. When you're done sitting there, if you want to talk you know where I'll be." I walked up the steps past him and into the house.

It was torture being so close to him and not kissing him, not even touching him. I almost dropped to my knees when I felt the tips of his fingers trail down my calf as I passed.

I climbed into the shower and washed off the salt from the ocean. In my room, I pulled on my dark wash, distressed-look, jean mini skirt and a cropped black cardigan to show off my tattoo. I ran my fingers through my still damp waves and slipped my feet into my sandals, buckling them around my ankles. I didn't bother bringing a bag. I took a deep breath and went out of the house. Sam was still sitting on the steps.

I steeled myself and went down the steps; he had come home, now I just needed him to actually talk to me. I had taken two steps off the patio stairs when I felt his hot hand wrap around my arm. He held me still while his finger ran along the bottom of my tattoo. I knew it was the spot where his name was; the clear cream of my skin making up the letters surrounded by the black ink of the paw.

"Sam?" I felt the heat of his body as he stepped closer to me, his hand moving from my back around to my toned and bare midriff.

I sighed and leaned back against his defined chest. He used his other hand to move my hair to the side and kissed my shoulder. I sighed as my knees went weak. I felt his teeth skim the back of my neck; it was the same spot for the mark. I had seen the little scar from the mark resting there against Emily's neck. My body began to tremble as heat pooled at my center and my breath became shallower. His thumb was drawing circles on the sensitive skin below my navel as he kissed and nibbled along my shoulder and neck. I felt his teeth graze that same spot on my neck where one day I hoped he'd mark me and somehow I had the strength to step away from him.

His hand on my stomach restrained me for a second before he let go. I took a step away from him and willed myself not to cry. I turned to face him, "Sam."

"Bella." He returned, his gaze raking over my outfit with a look that made my panties even damper. At the scent, he stepped closer to me again.

I immediately took a step back, "No."

"No?" He tilted his head in confusion.

I nodded, swallowing painfully, "You don't get it both ways Sam. I'm either your mate or your imprint. You decide."

He took a step nearer to me and I immediately retreated again, "You're both Bella. I love you."

I shook my head, "No, I'm not Sam. This," I motioned to the garden and the woods, "The way we've been living, this is me as your imprint. I'll always be here and you'll always watch over me," I bit back the tears that threatened, "From a distance. I'll be a member of the pack and the tribe" I paused again, "and eventually we'll be friends." His confusion had turned into a frown and I could see him shaking. "If you decide that you want me as your mate, then I am right here waiting, but as your mate I'll be your partner Sam. You have to let me in, let me know you, let me love you. You don't get to love me and be my Alpha. You are either my Alpha or my partner. So decide what you want Sam. Am I your imprint or your mate?" I paused to see if he would say anything.

He didn't.

I could still see him shaking lightly in the shadows of the fading light. "When you decide, when you know, I'll be here but until then," I gathered all my strength to make my voice firm, meeting his eyes, "no. I will not be both for you Sam. I want you, I want our life together but mostly I want you to want it too." I turned and walked to my truck, my hands were shaking as I gripped the steering wheel and drove away.

I made it to the parking lot without falling apart. I could feel my heart beating painfully hard and fast. My chest was tight, the air not seeming to be getting through. I closed my eyes, taking several deep breaths of air, trying to calm myself. The meditative yoga breathing did help and by the time Paul was pulling open my door I was almost calm.

He moved back as I climbed out of the truck. "I'm fine Paul." I sent him a weak smile.

"What happened?" Emily stepped forward and took my arm.

I sighed, "Sam was at the house."

"So why are you here?" Leah had come over.

"Are you sure you are ok?"

"Yes, Paul, I'm fine." I smiled at him again.

"Go on and help the boys finish with the bonfire. This is girl stuff." Leah told him shoving him to the direction where the guys were gathering wood for the fire.

"So? Sam shows up and you are here instead of there." Leah pressed. "Shouldn't you be naked and screaming his name right about now?"

"No." Emily answered for me. "It's the hard part of the plan."

Leah looked confused. "I need him to talk to me Leah. I need for him to choose me as either his mate or his imprint."

"Sex doesn't fix everything Leah. They need to communicate." Emily added for me.

"So the plan was to drive him nuts and then tell him no?"

"The plan was to make him want to come home. Now I need him to talk to me."

"Right so why aren't you there talking to him?"

"He wasn't talking. Now he knows I need more from him than a guardian and great sex he has to decide if he wants me as his partner. I let him know that when he's ready to talk I'll be here."

We walked together to the bonfire where Paul grabbed my arm and pulled me to the edge of the woods.

"Things aren't better with you and Sam?"

"I'm still working on it."

"Did he tell you about the leeches?" I frowned at him in confusion. "They took off after you talked to them to talk to some other leeches or something. They contacted us yesterday. Sam told them he would set it up so you could talk to them at the border."

"Sam agreed for me to meet them?"

"It's what you want isn't it? To talk to the big leech."

I nodded, "So when do I meet with them?"

"I think that might be why Sam went to talk to you. We don't spend much time in each others heads these days." He said the last part without looking at me.

"Paul, you can't let what is going on with Sam and I affect your friendship with him."

He shrugged, "Sam and I are fine. We will be fine."

"Paul."

"Leave it Bells. Please."

I nodded and sighed, "The meeting?"

"Up to you. The pack will be with you and you stay on our side of the line."

"Fine." I smiled at him. "Thanks for telling me."

"Yeah well, my guess is Sam just got distracted." He looked me up and down, "That outfit has to be the worst for him yet."

"Thank you, I think."

He grinned and winked at me, "Come on. We'll deal with the leeches tomorrow. I'm starving."

I laughed and stepped towards the now roaring fire but Paul grabbed my arm to halt me, "Bells," he hesitated, "You really are ok aren't you? I know you've been hurting. Seeing him had to be hard."

"It's been hard. Nothing was as hard as walking away from him. I have hope now though. He came home. I know that was supposed to be the easy part but it is something. I know he loves me. I just have to hold on to that until we work things out and he can trust me enough to open up and let me love him."

Paul nodded and led me over to the others. Half an hour later I saw Sam watching me from over the fire. I met his eyes and my knees felt weak. I had never wanted someone so badly in all my life. My veins ran with liquid heat and it was all pooling at my center. My womb ached and my clit was throbbing. I forced my eyes away from his.

Some of the Forks kids were here, a last night before they went off to different universities. Many like Angela had already left. She had moved right after graduation and I missed her. Mike, Jessica, Lauren and Eric were here though and they had brought some people I had never met before. I was talking with Mike's older brother. He was a lot like Mike only less like a puppy and more confident. I liked him less then Mike and I had always been a little uncomfortable with Mike's flirting.

I made an excuse and moved to talk with Eric. I had always gotten along with him. Lauren quickly took my place talking to Mike's brother and Jessica was still hanging off Mike. I felt a little bad for Eric who was looking at Kim like she was a goddess. I could see his disappointment when she moved from talking with Emily to sit in Jared's lap. I could feel Sam's eyes watching me and could barely give half my attention to the conversation happening around me.

I had been over with the Forks group only ten minutes when I felt his heat behind me. There were rumors about us breaking up but I saw Lauren and Jessica eyeing my engagement ring. I knew they wanted to ask about it but surprisingly they hadn't. With the approach of Sam though, I could see their gossiping brains becoming overly excited.

"Bella." His voice was low and he stood so close I could smell his forest after the rain scent every time I breathed in. My skin tingled with the heat coming off his body and desire flooded through me like a tidal wave. I was having trouble breathing.

"Sam."

"We're leaving." He told me, taking my arm.

"Hey." Mike's brother, Aaron or something protested. "Maybe she doesn't want to leave."

I could feel more than hear the low growl rumble in his chest. I turned to look up at him, his dark chocolate eyes were almost black in the firelight and I had to swallow back a fresh wave of lust.

I put my hand on his chest and had to fight not to clench my fist around his shirt and haul myself up to his mouth. "Sam." I sighed. Not sure if it was a protest or request.

Sam met my eyes for a minute before bending down and hauling me over his shoulder. I knew the little skirt I was wearing would be flashing people the black lace boy shorts I was wearing.

"Sam!" He didn't pay any attention to me, just kept walking. I wasn't sure if I wanted to yell at him or laugh; either way I was enjoying the view of his tight ass.

I heard Aaron protest and braced myself against Sam's back to look at the group, Paul and Jared had moved between us and them.

"Back off pale-face." Paul growled.

"Sam and Bella are engaged. This is between them." Jared added calmly.

Sam didn't stop or even slow down, he stalked over to his truck and carefully set me on the ground. He opened the door, "Get in." He ordered me.= still holding the door.

"Sam."

He interrupted me, his voice low and hard. "You want to talk, fine, get in."

Part of me wanted to argue with him, wanted to fight against him ordering me around. Another part of me, a much larger part was flooding with so much want and need I thought I would come if he touched me and I wanted to beg for him to fuck me then and there. I listened to the third and smallest part that told me to shut up and get in the truck.

Sam slammed the door and stalked around to the other side climbing in and starting the truck. Neither of us said anything as he drove us home. We sat in the truck a moment after he'd parked, still saying nothing.

Finally he spoke, "The leeches are back. They want to talk to you." His hands were clenched around the steering wheel.

"Paul told me. I'll meet them as soon as you can organize the time with the others." I responded. I waited a minute in the silence before pushing open the door and getting out. "Thanks for the ride." I told him slamming the door closed and walking towards the house.

He was out of the truck a second later and hauled me against him by a tight grip on my hips. I could feel the length of his erection digging into my back and if he hadn't been holding me so tight, I think the wave of want and need would have driven me to my knees.

"We aren't done yet." He told me in a growl.

"What else do you have to say to me then?" I asked, my voice coming out in pants.

"Everything. Anything. Whatever it is you want to hear I'll say it."

I bit back tears, "Sam."

"Bella, I love you. I need you. I tried to stay away but fuck I don't want to and I sure as shit can't fight us both anymore."

"Sam."

"You tattooed my name to your back."

"I wanted to keep you with me." I whispered back, giving in to the urge to lean back against him.

His right arm moved from my hip to wrap around my waist, holding me tighter to him. "I'm always with you."

"You are always watching me, you have to protect me, to be around me for the imprint, it's not the same."

"You think I don't want to be with you?"

"Do you?" I couldn't stop the tears from falling now.

Sam turned me in his arms and gently wiped away the tears before kissing along my cheeks, he lifted his head only enough to look me in the eyes when he spoke, "I love you Bella. It is more than the imprint. I want to be with you."

"Why haven't you come back to me then?"

He looked away, "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"I hurt you."

"I hurt you too. I've never been more sorry for anything. I never meant to hurt you Sam but I can't promise not to do it again. I'm trying, I am, but its not easy and I make mistakes."

"I never want you to resent me for trapping you here."

"I'm sorry I said La Push was a cage Sam. I never meant that I didn't want to be here with you. It was never about you. You are perfect." He laughed bitterly and finally let go, stepping away from me, "Perfect. I am nowhere near perfect Bella. My own father didn't think I was worth anything."

I clenched my fists against the wave of anger that filled me, I almost wished I had Emily's skillet, "Your father was an asshole. He didn't deserve Alia and he never deserved to have a son like you."

"My mother." He laughed, "Oh they deserved each other Bella. I was a fucking tool to get what she wanted." He sighed, "My mother loves me, I know she has from the moment I was born but she resented me almost as much as he did."

"Sam?"

"My mother stopped taking the pill. She got pregnant on purpose. She knew the council would force him to marry her. She was convinced she could make him happy. She loved him and on paper, they fit well together. Just like Leah and I. The woman just doesn't fucking learn, it didn't work with her and my father and it would never have worked with Leah and I. She resented me for failing her. For not making him love her more."

I wasn't sure what to say. My parents hadn't planned to have a baby so soon but they had both wanted me, both loved me above anything else. Never for a moment had I felt either of them resented having me.

"I would never resent loving you Sam. I was scared, it wasn't about you, it was me. I'm so sorry I hurt you. That I ever made you feel like I didn't love you or want you. I don't deserve for you to love me but if you let me, I will love you right. I know I can't promise never to hurt you but I will try and I promise never to shut you out."

He ran a hand through his hair and stepped closer again, pulling me into his chest. I wrapped my arms around his waist and breathed him in.

"I hated the idea that you might resent me Bella. I hated myself for putting you in a position where you felt trapped but I couldn't live with how much I hated myself for resenting you." I stiffened in his arms. "For only a second, less then that, I resented the imprint. Part of me has always resented being a wolf, being trapped here. I didn't want that for anyone else. I hated that because of me, because I am a wolf you are bound to me. I hated that I needed you. Hated that you were hurt and I couldn't make it better. I love you so much and I can't give you the world, I should be able to give you everything you want, buy you beautiful things and take you to see the world and instead I bind you to this reservation, to a blue collar worker and a tiny cottage on the beach."

"Sam, all I want is you. I don't need or want expensive things. I love our little cottage and I love living in La Push. I have a family here, a place to belong and feel safe, that is what I have always wanted. I understand hating the imprint. It scares me how much it makes me need you too. We are not your parents. Your father didn't resent loving Alia; he resented her for lying to him and trapping him here. She resented him for not loving her. I don't think she really loved him either, maybe just the idea of him. We aren't them. I love you. I want our life together."

He let me go and moved away again, he sounded defeated as he spoke, "What about in ten years? Bella if I mark you that is it, you are bound to me forever. Even if you left me you can't ever have another man's children."

"I will still love you and want you in thirty years Sam." I half shouted exacerbated.

"How do you know? What if you get a job in Arizona? Or in Jacksonville near your mother? PA only completes half the degree, what about university? You got into schools all across the country." He yelled back.

"I won't be applying to jobs in Arizona or Jacksonville. I'll apply here and I can finish my degree online. I already declined all those schools. I don't want to move to some random town where I don't know anyone. I've done that before Sam. My mother is just as flighty as everyone in Forks thinks she is. We moved around when I was younger, a lot. I didn't like it. We finally settled in Phoenix when I started High School. All I ever wanted was a place to belong, a home and real friends, a family. I have all that here."

"You say that now but"

"No! No but. Shit! Do you want to wait thirty years to find out Sam? Sleep out in the woods and watch me live my life, waiting for you?" I paused to calm myself before speaking again, without shouting, "Love is a leap of faith Sam. I am ready to jump off that fucking cliff with you. Mark me, marry me, today, tomorrow or in ten years I am still yours. I can't prove that to you. I am here, to stay, this is the life I have chosen. Only time can prove that to you."

"Bella."

"I might not deserve it, I hurt you and I'm sorry, but I wish you could trust me. I wish you would try because I am. It took me a little bit to get here and I hurt you along the way and I'm sorry, I just wasn't ready. Now I am and I will wait for you to be too."

"I do trust you Bella."

"Then let me love you. Talk to me."

"What do you want me to say Bella? My father resented me and took off when I was a kid. He came back looking for cash when I was nine. He has at least one other kid and we are all pretty sure Embry is his too. The Call's were never wolves. He got the gene from somewhere else and my father is the prime candidate to have knocked Jen up. My mother resented that I didn't give her the life she had planned for me to give her. I tried to be perfect for her. Got good grades in school, dated Leah, got a scholarship to Washington State for architecture, asked Leah to marry me, everything I did up until the moment I became a wolf it was with others in mind but I was getting out. I was going to become an architect and live in the city. I knew I was expected to move back with Leah to have a family but I would be able to make something of myself, make my mother proud and rub it in Derrick's face that the son he never wanted had built the life he had always dreamed of. I resented becoming a wolf because it took away my chance of leaving here. I was also grateful it gave me an out with Leah. I resented the blood every time another wolf phased and had his life stolen from him. I do my best to make it easier for them and we all hate the leeches for reigniting the gene but hating what I am is hating that I got you and that fucking kills me."

"Sam being angry that your dreams were taken away isn't hating that you imprinted on me." I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist again. "You can still hate what it has taken away from you without hating being a wolf or enjoying running or being grateful for an imprint. You should get your soul mate, it's the least you can be rewarded for all you do to protect this tribe. I'm just so sorry I made it harder for you."

He pulled back a little and ran his hand over my cheek, "I love you so much."

"I love you too." I smiled at him and he bent to kiss me. It was sweet and passionate, a slow burn through me that had my already damp panties re-soaked and my clit throbbing with need.

He growled at the fresh scent and the kiss grew harder, more demanding. I pushed him away and he growled. My insides clenched at the sound and I could feel moisture dripping on my thighs as I pulled my panties off.

Sam was on me in an instant. Lifting me in his arms, I grabbed his shoulders and wrapped my legs around him. My back hit the side of his truck as he kissed me fiercely. He supported me against the truck as he stepped back an inch, still wrapped in the circle of my legs, one of his hands supporting me against the truck. A second later he was pressed against me again and I realized what he had been doing as he lined up and slid into me in one fierce thrust.

I screamed and clenched around him. "Sam!" I could feel tears slip out of the corners of my eyes. Sam slowed and leaned into me, kissing the tears, "Don't stop, please more." The feel of him inside of me was overwhelming. He obeyed the pleading command and began to move inside me again. As my second orgasm built up, he moved back and lifted my sweater over my head. I could feel his mouth as he kissed and sucked on the sensitive skin on my neck and chest. I tugged at his shirt and he leaned back, bracing me against the truck as he pulled his own tee over his head. My fingers dug into his skin as I reveled in the feel of his warmth, pressing closer into his naked chest.

He spun us around and dropped to his knees, laying me on my back so he could thrust into me, his hands roaming my stomach and breasts.

He leaned down for a kiss after the waves of my orgasm subsided and I pushed his left side. Knowing what I wanted he rolled so I was straddling him. My hands roamed his chest, tracing over his muscles. His hands went to work pulling my bra off and then his mouth attached to my nipple. I rode him until I felt an orgasm taking over and he rolled us again, slamming into me while I panted his name. He came with me this time and I saw stars.

When he tried to move I tightened my weakened arms and legs around him to hold him over me. He complied and didn't move for another minute before kissing me again and rolling with me so I was sprawled out on his chest.

"Did you ever resent your mother for dragging you around all the time?" He asked quietly.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you come back to Charlie sooner?"

"She needed me." I told him honestly. "My mother was always forgetting things like paying the bills and grocery shopping. She needed me to keep her grounded. Also, I was never sure Charlie wanted me. I knew he loved me but it bothered me that he never fought her for me. He just let her take me. He never even protested when I stopped coming here for Christmas or the summer."

"It bothered him. He just didn't want to make you feel bad. Charlie was always talking about you. He really loves you."

"I know. I wish I had spent more time with him, more time here."

"It should have been your mother taking care of you, not the other way around."

"I know. I think that is why I resented her for not seeing what was going on with David. The one time I really needed her and she didn't notice. I'd say I was just good at hiding it but even a year later Charlie noticed. All of you did and none of you really knew me. She was supposed to know me better than anyone. I'm still a little angry about it."

"It's not illogical to be angry that she didn't see how much you were hurting even though you were trying to hide it. She should have seen something was wrong with the relationship before then. She's your mother, it's her job to take care of you."

I nodded into his chest. "Are you angry with Alia?"

"I've been very angry with her for the way she treated you. For once in my life, I don't care if she likes it or not. I love you. She, as my mother, should be happy for me and at least pretend to be supportive." We lay in silence a moment longer before he nudged me up. "Let's go in the house love."

I sat up and blushed remembering we were still outside. I stood up and stretched out my sore muscles. He groaned standing up as well, his jeans were still around his ankles and he was hard again. I looked him up and down and smirked, "Miss me?"

He growled and kicked off his jeans before taking two strides and tossing me over his shoulder again. His stride faltered when I pinched his butt and I found myself standing, pushing against the post of our patio. My laugh was cut short when his mouth connected with mine. I ran my hands over his body, rememorizing every dip and curve of his chest, shoulders, back, bum and thighs before taking his heaving weight in my hand and pumping twice.

He growled and pushed my hand away, dropping to his knees he undid my skirt and pulled it off, flinging it away. He slung one of my legs of his shoulders, his hands steadying my hips as his mouth descended on me. I was crying out his name in under a minute as his tongue danced around my clit and then he sucked it in his mouth and I saw stars behind my eyelids.

He was standing and spinning me around as my body was still shaking with the orgasm. His hands pulled at my hips as I brace myself against the wooden beam I had only a moment ago been leaning against. I gripped the wood support of the patio and panted out his name as he pounded into me. I could hear him chanting my name. It was fast and hard and animalistic. My back arched as I came and he anchored me to him, one hand against my stomach. I felt him kiss my shoulder and then my neck before his teeth sunk into my skin.

I felt the whole world shatter as my orgasm seemed to have an orgasm. I could feel him coming inside of me and it just made the pleasure extend in another ripple. The stars had exploded; the earth shattered and darkness took over.

I blinked open my eyes and found myself on the couch, wrapped in Sam's arms.

"Sam?"

"You passed out."

"You marked me."

"I'm sorry."

"Are you?"

"No." He sighed, "Not really."

"Me neither."

"I never meant to shut you out of my life. I just wanted to protect you, to love you and give you everything you wanted. To make you so happy that you never thought to want to leave me."

"I know." I whispered nuzzling closer to his neck. "What I want though is to love you. I need you to let me be your partner. Its hard to trust someone who doesn't trust me."

"I do trust you." He told me kissing me again.

"I don't want any secrets between us Sam."

"Bella, I am yours, heart, mind, body and soul, there is nothing I won't share with you. I promise."

"Do you wish you had gone to university?"

"I love building. I took some business classes online and liked them and I suppose I could take some classes at PA if I wanted but no, I have no desire to become an architect. I don't know that I ever really did. I always liked architecture and I loved working with my hands. I'm also a decent artist. So I figured that's what I'd do. I never really sat and thought about what I wanted; I just made a plan and worked for it. I loved Leah but I realized that I didn't really want to be with her. I didn't want any of the life I had planned. Starting this company was a fluke. I was just helping people out around the reservation for some extra cash and running patrols. I like working for myself and as a wolf I need flexible hours. When I decided to make a company out of it, I realized how excited I was at the idea. Billy helped me a lot, Harry did to but it was still hard for me to be around him much since I felt bad for breaking his daughters heart. Now I love what I do. Paul, Jared and I work well together and I always come home feeling like I accomplished something."

We talked for a while, sitting there naked, wrapped in each other's arms. Every once in a while he would nuzzle the spot on my neck he had bitten. It was sore but it also made my toes tingle as desire for him flowed through me in gentle waves.

"We should eat something." He finally broke the silence that had fallen, kissing my temple before helping me stand from his lap. We raided the kitchen together, cooking naked. Not the best idea as we were easily distracted. After sex on the floor of the kitchen and then again on the table, we ate. I did the dishes while he ran his hands over my body in between drying them. The sun was coming up outside as we went in to bed, falling asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

When I had decided what needed to be done I had thought getting him home would be the easy part and making him talk the hard. I was wrong. It had taken over a month to get him home but as soon as he had made the decision, he took that leap off the cliff with me without a backward glance, he let me in, accepting that to love me he needed to let me love him. Now I was his and he was mine, forever.


	41. Chapter 41

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts I will update as often as I can. PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

**Sorry all. I had this ready and thought I posted it but when I got a review for the last chapter asking if that was it I realized I hadn't. I'm not sure where my head has been at its just been a busy time. So sorry. Next chapter will be up as soon as I have it finished. Hope you enjoy.**

Three days. Sam and I stayed locked in our cottage, naked, for three days. We had almost no food in the house and my body ached in ways I had never known it could ache.

"Sam we have to go to the store." I called to him as I disappeared into our closet.

"I know." He came in, "I need to check in with the pack, work and contact the leeches. We have messages from them, Billy, your father, Rylan, Paul, two from Leah, Kim, Emily and the Parkers who want a play house built for their daughter."

I laughed. We had heard the phone ring but hadn't bothered to pick it up. Somehow, the pack had not shown up yet and I was grateful to them all. Sam pulled me into his arms and kissed me sweetly. "Ok, back to the real world then. Honeymoon must be over."

"Shit." Sam cursed.

"What?"

"We have to meet with the elders." He told me, his fingers brushing against the mark on my neck. It was already healed, the tiny scar much warmer than the rest of my skin. It made my whole body tingle when he touched it.

I pushed the desire aside, "Will we be in trouble?"

He shrugged, "Technically we already got permission from your father and the council. It wasn't formal but it should still count. It will be fine." He kissed me before turning to pull on shorts.

My underwear rubbed uncomfortably against my still swollen nether region so I forwent shorts and pulled on a cargo mini skirt and fitted tank. Sam growled and pulled me against him for another heated kiss.

"Come on, let's go before I strip you again." He said finally pulling away.

I giggled, "Fine. I'll go to the store, contact the girls and Rylan. You deal with the pack and elders and I'll see you for dinner."

"What about the leeches?"

"Right, um, well, whenever works for the pack and them is good with me."

"Let's make it tonight. I want the visitors gone as soon as possible."

"Visitors?"

"They brought friends with them to talk to you."

I nodded, "Ok," I sighed, "Back to the real world."

He stopped me as I moved away from him, his voice soft and low, "Bella?"

"Sam?"

"I can take you on a honeymoon you know. When we really get married, I mean. Jake and the guys, they can handle things for a week."

I moved back into his arms and kissed him, "All I need is you and privacy love. If we can get that here then we can barricade ourselves in with a weeks worth of groceries or we can rent a hotel room somewhere else but I plan on being naked for most if not all of it."

He lifted me into his arms and kissed me. I wondered how I could still want him so badly even when my body ached and I was walking funny as my clothes rubbed against my over sensitive nipples and girl parts.

He groaned and set me on my feet, "You need a rest and we have things to do." I nodded kissing him one last time before walking out of our room.

"I'll drive you to Paul's." He told me as we stepped off the porch.

We climbed into his truck and rolled down the windows. I wondered briefly when the heat wave would end but was grateful for the unusually long lasting summer and heat.

"They're alive." Jared called coming off Paul's porch. Paul and Jake followed closely at his heals, Leah, Emily and Kim quickly behind them.

I laughed as I climbed out and hugged all of them.

"Everything good Jake?" Sam asked standing a little back.

He nodded, "No problems. The leeches are getting a bit anxious to see Bells though."

"Set up the meet for tonight. Let the pack know they are all on duty."

"Fucker!" Paul punched Sam in the arm but was grinning, "You marked my sister and without the ceremony."

I laughed as Sam shrugged. "We had their permission."

"I mixed up patrols to cover your absence. The leeches might be here but we are still running light during the day." Jake brought his attention back to the pack.

"Right. Come with me to see the council." He leaned down to kiss me. "Don't forget to call Charlie and Rylan."

I nodded and let the girls usher me into the house to talk.

I pulled away from them to hug Paul again. "Missed you brother."

"Missed you to sister but this is girl talk shit so I am out to work. Have dinner with us tonight."

I nodded and hugged him again before he and Jared both kissed their imprints.

Jared came over to hug me as Paul got into his truck.

"About damn time."

I laughed, "That we emerged?"

"That you disappeared together and worked it all out." He said winking.

I shoved his arm, "Yeah, yeah, we didn't just have sex you know."

"I'm sure it's the only thing I'll see about it." He laughed tapping his head before climbing into the truck with Paul.

I blushed fuchsia at the reminder of the pack mind and flipped him off, "I don't need the pack mind, girls share all and I would bet money that Sam is better than you. Poor Kim."

He growled, "Not a chance." We all laughed as I turned to the girls and the two wolves drove off.

"So? All is well in the Swan Uley house?" Leah asked.

"Better than well. Everything is perfect." I told her sitting at the table as Emily poured us all iced tea.

"I knew you should have just fucked sense into him." She nodded.

"We talked too. Actually, all we did was talk and have sex for the last three days. I'm exhausted, sore and happy."

"And married." Kim reminded me.

"Yes." I nodded blushing. "Sam marked me the night of the bonfire."

"What was it like?" Emily asked.

I looked at her and blushed again.

"Yeah, me too." She said.

"So it really feels good?" Kim asked rubbing the back of her neck, still bare of the mark.

I blushed again as Emily and I both nodded. "It's better after too." I whispered.

"More connected." Emily agreed.

"I can sort of feel him." I told her.

"Yeah, that's normal. It's not all the time just strong emotions sort of echo into us from the other. It makes the happy… happier too."

I nodded in agreement, "It also tingles when he touches it."

"Like a ripple of heat." She agreed.

"So it's normal?"

She shrugged, "I guess. From the few things they have on it anyways. You are the only other wolf girl I've met to know for sure."

"Right."

"So is the wedding back on then?" Kim broke in.

"Shit." I swore, "I guess it will have to be moved, I need to call Rylan."

"Call him now." Emily motioned to the phone. "We can all help get things back on track."

I nodded and moved to the phone to dial the familiar number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ry."

"Isa. Honey it's been almost a week. How is the plan coming along?"

"Project Wed that Wolf accomplished. I married the wolf now I just need to marry the man."

Rylan laughed, "That's great Isa. Tell me everything."

"Everything? You dirty queen I knew you had it for Sam."

He laughed again, "That good huh?"

"Better." I was blushing and grinning from ear to ear. All three girls were listening in and smiling with me. "We locked ourselves into the cottage for three days to talk and make up for lost time. I might be walking down the aisle bow-legged but I will be walking down the aisle, preferably sooner than later if we can manage it."

He laughed again, "I'll have the invites in the mail as soon as we hang up. Jack says congratulations by the way."

"Thank you Jack." He relayed the message. "Wait, invitations? We need to pick a date and… I don't know, do what ever it is you do before the invitations go out."

"Already taken care of unless the twenty-seventh doesn't work for you anymore."

"The twenty-seventh." I squeaked. "That is in like two-weeks."

"Too fast?"

"Hell no but how?"

"Leave it to me."

I bit back tears, "Rylan."

"I know you love me, I am the best, just don't forget it with all that pack family around you."

"I would never. I love you."

"Love you too honey. You know you are the only woman for me. Now dry those tears and help me out by booking yourself into the spa with the girls. Hair, mani and pedi, massage, the whole wedding works. Call your mother and tell her to book a flight. Leave the rest to me. I will have your dream wedding ready in two weeks."

"Rylan."

"Don't thank me yet honey. The wedding works comes with a full body wax." He laughed.

"I hate you."

"You love me."

"Forever."

"For always. Now I have work to do. Love to Kim from Jack and I. We will see you both soon."

"I want details on that."

"Boyfriend moved in."

"What? When?"

"Details later, I have a wedding to plan. It's a good thing your dream wedding is simple and elegant instead of big and brash. Later honey."

"Thank you Ry."

I was part laughing and part crying as soon as I hung up the phone. It was less than a second before I was wrapped in the arms of my four sisters.

I laughed and we all parted, "I'm getting married in two weeks."

Kim squealed and Emily laughed.

"I am not getting waxed every where." Leah protested having easily heard Rylan's side of the conversation as well as mine.

"To late. When Rylan says book us into a spa he means he already paid for it, non-refundable and we need to arrange our schedules to be there for the appointment."

She growled, "I am not going."

"Come on Leah. You are a tough werewolf a little wax shouldn't scare you." Emily teased.

"They are going to wax off your who-ha." She told her cousin.

Emily turned to me appalled, "He booked us to wax my what?"

"Full wax means arms, legs, eye brows and vag-a-jay. Don't worry it only hurts a little and then you are clean and smooth for weeks." Kim told her.

"You've had it done?" Leah turned to her.

Kim blushed and nodded, "Jared likes it and it makes it easy in the summer besides I hate the prickly feeling of shaving."

"Itches when it grows in too" Emily mused, "Ok, I'll try it."

"You are all nuts."

"Come on Leah!" We all said at once.

"Fine," she growled. "When is the appointment?"

"We just have to call the hotel spa and check. My guess would be he booked it two or three days before the wedding." I was right; when I called the hotel spa, the four of us were down for the twenty-fifth. They also confirmed that they were needed to come out to La Push for hair and make-up on the morning of the twenty-seventh. I really loved my best friend. He had never lost faith. Somehow, he had just known we would work it out in time for the wedding.

Next, I had to call my mother.

"Bella?"

"Hi mom."

"I haven't heard from you all summer. How are the wedding plans coming?"

"Good I think; I handed everything over to Rylan."

"Well that's good. Did you find a dress?" Her voice sounded a little sad and I felt bad for a moment. She probably felt I had been leaving her out on purpose.

"Um, well no. I really haven't done anything at all about the wedding except discuss my initial ideas with Ry back in June."

"Well, I hope you get what you want doing that. You know it should be about you."

"I know but some things came up and I really don't do well with things like planning weddings and such. I trust Ry. He knows what I would want."

"Right well, I am sure it will be beautiful."

"Listen, one of the things that came up affected the invitations. They are in the mail now and that's fine for everyone since they all live in the area but you. The wedding is on the twenty-seventh. The invitation should arrive tomorrow or the next day but I wanted to call and get you and Phil to book the flight now."

"Sure baby. I'll look at flights but what about your dress?"

"Oh, um, I don't know. I haven't even thought about it. I suppose I will find something, the wedding is casual so I wont need to worry about having anything fancy that needs months to be fitted."

"Right." Her voice was strained again, and I knew that my wedding was a big thing to her, even if we weren't as close as we were when I was little.

"I did think about the traditions from your and Phil's wedding, you know how I found you those blue, old, new things?"

"Oh baby of course I'll handle all that for you, normally the maid-of-honor does that though. She won't mind? Or are you not having one?"

"Well since you aren't here Leah can help me with my dress and you can do the good luck stuff. If that's ok."

"Oh, that is great baby. I'll be sure and get you only good and lucky and beautiful things. Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. It will be no problem." The sadness I had heard in her tone was fully replaced by excitement now.

"Great. Thanks so much mom. Maybe you should look at flights first though. I can get married with a little less luck but not without my mom."

She laughed, "Oh baby, I wouldn't miss it."

I hung up the phone and turned to the girls. "What the hell am I going to do about a wedding dress?"

"Call Rylan. Maybe he thought of that and just forgot to mention." Leah suggested shrugging.

"Yeah, even we know how he is with shopping, he probably had your wedding dress on order as soon as he heard you were engaged." Kim laughed.

"Right ok." I nodded picking up the receiver again.

"Maybe you should call Charlie first." Emily suggested.

"Right." I nodded.

Leah shook her head, "No, let's go see him."

"Right." I nodded and set the receiver down. "I also have to go grocery shopping, Sam and I literally emptied the kitchen."

"I need to pick up a few things too, with you and Sam out of lock down I have a feeling the whole pack will be here." Emily said grabbing her keys.

We drove out to the supermarket in two cars to be sure all the groceries fit. Each of us grabbed a cart and began to fill the four of them.

"Bella." I turned to see Mike and his brother shopping.

"Hey Mike." I couldn't remember his brothers name.

"Hey, are you ok? We tried to stop that guy from taking you, even threatened to call the cops."

"You remember my brother Aaron." Mike introduced us.

"Right." I turned to him, a little unnerved by how close he had stepped to me. "I'm fine thanks. That was just my fiancé Sam."

"He always treat you like that? I mean, forcing you to leave like that, ordering you around. It's not right." He took a step closer.

I took one back and glared at him, "Thank you for your concern but its not needed. Sam always treats me well."

"He slung you over his shoulder." Mike protested.

"We can protect you." Aaron stepped closer again and I took another step back. I could see Leah's hands shaking gently.

"I can protect myself. My relationship with Sam is none of your business. Thank you for your concern but it is unwarranted. We have shopping to do if you will excuse us." I pushed past him and felt him grab my wrist. Leah was shaking harder now.

"Don't be like that. We are only trying to help." I felt his grip tighten on my wrist and tried to pull it away. "You just come on with Mike and I. We'll help you out. Take good care of you."

"Let go." I pulled my wrist again and his fingers tightened.

"I'm not going to hurt you. I'll take care of you. Little brother and I will take good care of you." His words made me feel sick and I felt fear licking at the edges of my conscious and had to breath deeply to calm myself. This wasn't David, I wasn't trapped; he couldn't take me anywhere or hurt me.

"Let go of her now!" Leah demanded, I could tell she was only minutes away from phasing. Emily had disappeared, I was sure she went to get help. This was bad, not just for me but my sisters. Leah couldn't phase not in here. It was too public for one thing and for another Kim and I were to damn close.

I felt anger fill me and I stepped forward, a small smile spread across his face for a second but I stopped it as I leaned back and slammed my fist into his nose. I heard a sick crunch as blood spurted out. My hand hurt but it was the rusty copper smell of his blood that turned my stomach, I stepped away and tried to breath shallow but it didn't help. I felt darkness flick at the edges of my consciousness. The last thing I felt was arms wrap around me as I slipped to the ground.

I came to sitting on a bench outside the market. Emily and Kim on either side. Charlie was talking to Leah.

"Dad?"

"Bells, you're awake." He came over, his eyes radiating concern.

"Sorry, it was the blood."

"Where did you learn to hit?" Kim asked.

"Paul." Emily answered for me.

Leah just snorted in amusement.

I could see the answering amusement flicked in Charlie's "It was a good hit."

"Hell yeah it was, little sister broke his nose." Leah agreed.

"I'm sorry."

"There is nothing wrong with defending yourself. That boy had no right to grab you. Everything is fine." He reassured me. "I hear you and Sam worked things out."

I nodded blushing, "Yeah. Wedding is still set for the twenty-seventh. Invitations went out this morning."

"Alright well, good, then." He shifted a bit uncomfortable. "You aren't rushing? I mean I know it's a done thing and all, I just mean, you know, you are both ready now?"

I nodded, "We spent a lot of time talking the last few days," I heard Leah, Kim and Emily snicker and blushed, "we both still have some insecurities but only time will heal those scars, plus we kind of already got married."

Charlie looked upset; "You eloped?"

"No." I assured him, jumping up, "We, um, well," I looked around and lowered my voice, "Did the wolfy marriage thing." I blushed redder, "It wasn't planned or anything, just sort of happened. We are both really happy it's settled though. I think it helped to have the bond completed. We are both more comfortable in our skins. Well I mean, comfortable with the match or not the match really we were always comfortable with it. Just more confident in it now that we've, um well, connected." I wasn't sure why I was so flustered, maybe because we both knew this particular connection came from having sex. A lot of really good sex. Phenomenal sex. My mind split away and I mentally cursed as my body reacted. I could almost feel his heat and smell his forrest after the rain scent.

I breathed a sigh of relieve as I realized I wasn't going crazy. Sam had come up behind us. He moved around the bench and pulled me into his arms for a heated kiss.

"Are you alright? What happened?"

"How did you know?"

"I felt it and then Emily called Paul. Where is the punk? I'll teach him not to harass you."

Leah laughed, "She already did. Nice work on her right hook Paul."

I blushed and buried my head into Sam's chest. "He was making Leah mad." I mumbled.

Everyone went quiet. "You hit him because he was making Leah mad?" Charlie asked quietly.

I blushed and pulled a little away from Sam, embarrassed at clinging to him and all the dirty thoughts I was having about stripping him down and riding him in his truck. Well embarrassed about having them while my dad was standing right there anyways. I was also sure this mating season thing affected the imprints; there was no way I was naturally this horny. I mean, I always wanted Sam before but this was way more than anything I had ever felt before.

"Bella?" Sam cut into my thoughts which had diverted from my embarrassment to being horny and thus to images of a very naked Sam.

I blushed again, "Um, well yeah. If she phased in there it would reveal the pack and Kim was right next to her." I shuddered as the thought of Kim being hurt washed away the lust fog.

"Well, you should have hit him for grabbing your arm but whatever the reason the boy deserved it. You are ok aren't you Bells? Do you need to go to the hospital?"

I shook my head, "I'm fine Dad."

"Well I'll be off now. Have a report to write. You kids have a good day."

"Thank you Charlie." Sam held out his hand and Charlie took it.

"Listen here son, you take care of my baby, I don't want to hear of the two of you splitting up again. I was fixing to fill your stubborn ass with buckshot if you didn't man up soon. I'm glad the wedding is going on as planned, couldn't ask for a better son, so you two try not to muck it up again. Just stick out the hard stuff together and the rest will come."

"Thank you." I could hear the emotion in Sam's voice as his free hand tightened around me. "I won't ever leave her again."

"You to young lady. No running away, hold tight through the storm, that's what your gran used to say. If it's meant to be it'll be worth it, marriage is hard but you hold tight through the storm and it will be better on the other side."

I nodded biting back tears, "Thanks dad." I pulled out of Sam's hold to hug him. He clasped Sam's hand one more time, nodded to us all before turning to go back to his squad car.

Sam pulled me back into his arms one of his arms around my waist and his other hand supporting the back on my neck, resting against the mark and kissed me till my knees felt weak and my toes curled.

I heard someone clear their throat and then stumbled a little as Paul shoved Sam. "Break it up, that's my sister and we are standing in front of the grocery." He growled.

Sam and I pulled apart and I turned to Paul, "I thought you were working?"

"I was, when Emily called I phased and Jared called Sam, next thing I knew all four of the fuckers were in my head. We met outside the woods here."

I looked around and for the first time noticed Jared stood with Emily in his arms and Jake stood just beside Leah.

"I'm sorry Bella. Seeing him grab you, it was all I could do not to phase."

I shook my head, "I needed to handle it. To know I can protect myself."

"You protected the secret too." Jake smiled at me.

"My mate." Jared hugged Kim, "You're thought was for her and the pack."

"It made me less afraid." I admitted. "When I started to snap back into the dark space of David, I tried to tell myself it wasn't the same and then I focused on Leah and Kim and I was just angry that he was fucking with my family." I tried to explain.

"I would have phased if you hadn't hit him." Leah admitted. "As soon as your fist hit him all the anger just washed away and I had to laugh."

"Yeah, then you fainted." Kim giggled. Good thing I caught you or you'd have hit the ground hard.

"Thanks." I smiled at her.

"So you hit him and then fainted?" Paul laughed, "We need to work on that part. You never faint when you hit me."

"I never hit you hard for fear you'd break my hand and it wasn't that I hit him it was the blood. I faint at the smell of blood."

"Smell?" Emily frowned, "Blood doesn't smell Bella."

I sighed, "It does to me, sort of rusty and coppery and gross."

"Right, well, we need to get back. You are sure you're ok Bells?" I nodded to Jake before turning back to Sam.

"Are you with the council? Are they angry?"

Sam nodded and then shook his head, "We were talking with them when Jared called. They know about the mark and aren't angry but Quil Senior still wants to do the ceremony."

"It can still be before the wedding then." I paused thinking, "If we need permission how can the other imprints be marked?"

"Native tradition is for the unions to be bargained by the elders and the parents."

"You mean like you can marry my daughter for six moose skins and a goat?"

Sam laughed, "Something like that. Now we just get permission to marry."

"Emily and Paul aren't married."

"They have permission to be though. Technically they are engaged."

"Right." I nodded. "Ok then, you go back to pack work. Jake looks like he is bouncing to get you up to speed on every little thing and not have to deal with any pack stuff."

Jake laughed, "Sorry Bells but your mate has this gig for a while. Especially after the last three days. I really don't want the responsibility."

"When you're ready." Sam told him nodding, "Until then, don't worry, I wont abandon the role and force it on you."

Jake nodded but frowned before quietly asking, "Do you want it?"

I felt Sam stiffen, "It was my responsibility as the first to phase."

"Until I did." Jake looked away.

"Jake?"

"The pack, it doesn't have to be your responsibility. From day one, it has been about what all of us want, making this easier for us. I could make it easier for you, for both of you."

"Do you want it?"

Jake shook his head, his voice firm "No. I'm not ready."

"Then I'll keep it until you are ready."

"I might never be."

"It's in your blood. One day it will require you to lead. You were not born to follow my orders."

Jake sighed and I could tell this was a conversation they had had before. "It's not fair to you."

"This life is not fair to any of us. I do not resent being Alpha Jake. It is a roll I have grown into from the start of all of this." He laughed, "I like being in control, taking orders from a pup like you will be the hard adjustment."

Jake growled playfully, "I am not a pup old man."

"Old, old." Sam growled back, "I could take you."

"Old and married." Jared laughed.

"Oi, that's enough you lot."

"Don't worry Bells. You are the young hot wife." Jake winked at me and just like that the tension was gone from all of us. The question of Jake taking over was put to rest for the time being, at least until he graduated, maybe longer.

"Ok, you boys go on. Let us get back to our shopping." Leah shoved Jake towards the lot. Emily, Kim and I kissed our mates. Paul reached out and squeezed my hand and they stalked off to Sam's truck. Jake must have driven it over while the other three ran. He must also have brought clothes because both Paul and Sam had been wearing different shorts then when they left us that morning.

After they climbed into the truck, we went back into the store and finished our shopping. Thankfully, the rest of the day passed without incident but as each hour passed, I grew more and more anxious for the meeting with the Cullen's. Part of me wanted to know everything possible about my heritage and what might come for me. Another part just wanted to grab Sam and lock us both back in our cottage to pretend the rest of the world didn't exist just a little while longer, you know, ten to twenty years or so.


	42. Chapter 42

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts I will update as often as I can. PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

**Sorry all I couldn't get Paul out of my head and had to write down his story idea which led to another Paul story idea and I just couldn't get Sam back in my head. I reread my work but this chapter was still tough. Mostly it's just information overload but it does answer questions and put to rest the fairie side to Bella's history though I can't be sure it wont pop up again I don't think it will. The rest is pure wolf pack with maybe a Cullen or two tossed in for good measure. Hope it is ok…**

It was late and I was tired, my hand also hurt from Aaron Newton's face. I wanted to go home and curl up with Sam. Instead, I was stumbling along a path in the dark. I was cold to.

The fifth time I stumbled one of the wolves ahead broke rank and came up to me. It wasn't until he was lying in front of me I could see it was Paul. He dropped to the ground and motioned me to his back. We had only been in the woods for a couple minutes. I knew this way would be faster, warmer and safer so I didn't protest the lift. I also wasn't sure how far we were going. Sam, Jake and Jared were already at the meeting spot.

Three minutes later and I was sliding off my brother's back. I walked right to Sam, ignoring the growls of the pack and the group of very pale people standing warily just across some invisible line.

I hugged Sam tightly, "Everything ok?" I whispered against him.

"He says it's fine." A voice answered.

I turned, one hand still twisted in Sam's fur. "I don't need you to interpret my mate." I told him before turning to Emmett. "Hey Bear."

"Hello Tink." He grinned at me. "Was beginning to think the wolves were keeping you from me."

"Sam and I took a few days honeymoon."

"You're married?" Rosalie spoke up.

I shrugged, "In the pack we are. In normal human society we're still just engaged."

"Congratulations." Carlisle smiled at us. "These are some friends, I mentioned them during your visit."

"The vamp with the fairy godmother?"

Emmett chuckled and I heard several wolfish snickers.

"In a manner of speaking yes. This is Siobhan."

"Hi." I nodded to her. "Thanks for coming out."

"Your friends seem less than pleased." She replied.

"My _family_ doesn't like your kind and judging by those vibrantly red eyes your sporting they have even more reason to be cautious."

"We mean you no harm."

"How about the rest of town?"

"Siobhan and her coven are not hunting near here." Carlisle's voice was calm and diplomatic.

"Is that supposed to make it better? I might not personally know the victim?" I asked him.

"The wolves are proud, one might discern from their thoughts they were worried you'd want to come with us." Edward smirked at me.

I shrugged, "You feel emotions now to or are you just guessing?"

"Jasper is the empath." He responded.

"Why are you here?"

"To translate for the wolves."

"Cross the line and they kill you, break the treaty in any way and they kill you, come to near me or the other imprints and they kill you. Not really complicated shit, so feel free to fuck off."

"You do not need to fear us." Jasper spoke up.

"You might want to check that gift of yours, get it tuned up or something because I'm not afraid."

"You're anxious."

"My mate is anxious, so is my brother, my whole pack is really and that makes me anxious."

"You'd be more comfortable if there were less of us here."

"Are the lot of you really needed?"

"Your mate requested myself and Edward be present. Edward incase they had something to say and myself to keep everyone calm. Siobhan is here to speak with you and I imagine your uncle wishes to talk with you."

"Great so the rest can fuck off." I knew I was being a bitch but it felt like a fight was going to break out at any second. Since I was the one that would get hurt and not be able to heal myself, I was a bit concerned.

He just nodded and turned to the tiny woman at his side, "Ali?"

"I can't see anything with them Jazz."

"I'll be fine. Please."

She nodded and kissed him before disappearing. The others seemed to be having conversations I couldn't hear but the others quickly followed leaving only Jasper, Emmett, Edward, Siobhan and Carlisle.

I felt the wolves relax slightly, though they were all still wary.

Jasper nodded to Sam and me.

"Did I miss something?" I asked him.

"I thought you didn't need a translator for your mate?" Edward asked smugly.

Sam growled at him.

"He thanked me for asking Alice to leave so the others would go as well."

"He speaks to you with his emotions?"

"It's not precise but I have been around a long time and have been able to perfect the subtleties of my gift, including inducing the intent behind an emotion."

"Cool." I whispered, catching his mouth quirk up as he fought a smile and sent me a small nod.

"Have you developed any of your gifts?" Siobhan finally spoke up.

"As far as I know they are tightly bound to keep me from being found though we were sort of hoping you might tell us by what."

"Of course," she nodded.

"Well?" I prompted.

"You are not like Findabhair."

"No?"

She shook her head. "The fey was with me for many years. She was my guardian."

"Some guardian if she let you get all undead." I murmured.

"The fey have their reasons for things. I have a drop of their blood as does Jasper and his wife, Edward too."

I frowned at her, all the vampires looked surprised. "They're all fairie? Half-breeds like me?"

"No." She shook her head, "The blood is much more diluted. Jasper has the strongest of it and it doesn't come close to yours."

"How do you know?"

"All the gifted come from fey. The blood is very dilute, there are few of your kind left."

"Perhaps you can start at the beginning." Carlisle suggested.

The tired left me as my curiosity grew. "Please."

She nodded, "I never knew the reason Findabhair was sent to me. All she would say was that she had been banished from across the veil to watch over me until the time came to leave. When I was young I saw her very little, then a vampire attacked me. She smiled at me, laid her hand on my forehead, and told me it would be well. My human life is only a vague sort of knowing, I know she was there, I had loving parents and a sister who married young but I don't actually remember them. I remember Findabhair's eyes as the flames of the change charred me from the inside. She made my change smoother, it was excruciating but less painful than others, I was coherent, she would cool my forehead and sing to me and I felt her magic carry me through, protecting me from the worst of the pain. When it was over I was more coherent than many newborns, I was still distractible and the blood lust was insatiable but I could control myself for the most part. She stayed with me until my newborn year ended and when she said goodbye she told me I would live many generations but never would our paths cross again. Her job was done and she was going home."

"What do you know about her? About her people?"

"Not much. She was a very private person. She told me when she left that the fey didn't belong in this world. It was not a world for magic."

"There is a lot of magic in the world." I told her.

"Most of it fey." She responded.

"Sam?"

"The wolves are not born of the fey but their magic is, much like the magic of the vampire is."

"So the fey created vampires?"

She nodded, "We were at war many millennia ago. The vampires are a byproduct of one of our kind."

"How?"

"Gethin, one of the skullcaps was interrupted mid, Kasim tried to save them but Gethin's darkness rose in them, his poison turning to venom in their veins and the first of the vampires were born."

"Skull caps?"

"They are a fierce creature of the fey, in battle they sever the head at the jaw and remove the skin to wear the skull of their victim on their heads and Gethin toasts their victories by drinking a mug of the enemies blood." I felt my stomach turn and squinted my eyes against the picture. "I believe there are some mixed legends of their kind in human fairie lore, though much of it is false."

"Ok so this Gethin thing killed a bunch of people and was drinking their blood in victory and this other Kaseem guy made them vampires?"

"Kasim, is the controllers of anger, it is not one fey but a title. Gethin is one type of skullcap, it is not one creature, they are dark ones. The Gethin were wreaking havoc, they attacked villages of people in the night, the men they killed and the women they raped. It is a skullcap war ritual to drink a mug of the blood of their enemies when the battle is done but the Gethin revel in the blood of their victims more. They kill off the threats and wear their skulls, for ritual, they drink the mug of blood but it is the living that they wish to devour. They attack with tooth and nail so the blood of their victims splays across them, they'll drink and kill until none remain and then they will go after the women, raping them and consuming their blood."

My stomach turned. "I came from things like this?"

"No," she shook her head. "There are as many different types of fey as there are animals in the world. You are fairie fey, one of the elves I would guess but I couldn't be sure."

"Ok so the Gethin attacked and the Kasim stopped them?"

"You should sit." Jasper interrupted us, "This might take a while and you are already tired."

I nodded to him with a small smile, "Thanks."

Sam moved away from me and lay down so I could lean against him as I sat cross-legged, facing the Cullen's.

I was surprised to see them all sit, cross-legged as well. Paul came to lie beside Sam and I, the others all lying down as well, still watching the Cullen's carefully but it seemed to me everyone had relaxed a little.

"The Kasim?" I prompted her to continue.

"Yes," she nodded. "The Kasim are controllers of anger. I'm not sure why they are called that but," she shrugged. "They were hunting the Gethin in this realm, to bring them back across the veil. They came across a place where the Gethin were destroying. The Kasim tried to save the people but most of them died. The few that survived were changed, the poison of the Gethin turned to venom. As they screamed in agony, the Kasim beheaded them to end their suffering. A few lived and when the venom had worked through their bodies, they became the first vampires. Or so Findabhair once told me."

"So vampires came out of one fey trying to fix the horror caused by another?"

She nodded, "I believe so yes."

"What about the wolves?"

"Findabhair told me of other things that had entered this world and from them were born new things. I believe your wolves are not even were wolves but shifters. They would have received a gift from a fey protector to become what they are whereas true werewolves are, like a vampires, a horror born out of fey war."

"How's that?"

"She said the Kasim killed the pups of a Canis Diaboli, the Devil's Dog, or what we knew as a Hellhound. She hunted for her pups and in seeking her vengeance, she mauled a human man who was trying to protect on of the female Kasim. He survived but had transformed. Like the vampire, the poison of the Devil's Dog changed with the human to become venom."

"I thought the Kasim were the good guys?"

"The fey do not have the same ideas of good and bad as a human would."

I nodded, "Ok, so the wolves are shifter's then, you said it would be a gift?"

"Yes. Findabahair once told me that some of her kind had come to protect the people here from those who would cross the veil. The protector's would vocationally give a gift to the people it found worthy or in great need, she said some were given the power to shift forms to protect themselves while others were given the gift of food or children. They often had children with the people of this world, creating half-breeds, this was eventually forbidden."

"Forbidden?"

"Mostly the fey have left this realm, the lines of their blood weakening through the generations."

"So there are shifters, werewolves, vampires and other things?"

She nodded, "Mostly there are simply the gifted. Humans who have something extra in their blood, these gifts are brought out when they are infected by the venom of vampires and werewolves."

"Am I hunted because it is forbidden for fey to have half-human kids?"

"Findabhair said the Halflings were dangerous, with a foot in both worlds it can cause chaos in both."

"What else did she say?"

"The Halflings from less, human, fey often died. A woman could not often survive the birth of a creature that could break her bones or seeped poison into her blood. The Gethin raped women and those that did not die from the violence died from the blood drinking but other skullcaps would mate the woman of its enemies and not drink her blood. If she survived its appetites and became pregnant, she would miscarry. All the lesser fey would not be able to bring a human woman to term with their progeny. The upper fey would not lower themselves to rape."

"So the lesser fey killed women it mated with and if they didn't no child would survive and the upper fey didn't rape women, what happened to the ones they slept with?"

"Halflings like you were born, beautiful children of both worlds. It is the middle born that are the dangerous ones."

"The middle born?"

"They are fey passable by human standards but not as enlightened or gifted at the upper fey, the elves and sprites and nymphs."

"Did they rape women?"

"Some of them, others raped men, they are the praying mantis and widow types but most seduced."

"Paying mantis and black widow? They're like bugs? I thought they were passable as humans?"

I saw her lips quirk in a smile, "Forgive me, I was using human examples. The female praying mantis and black widow will devour her lover after copulation."

"Gross." I made a face.

"Yes," she smiled at me. "Findabhair told me once that there were a group of female fey that had teeth within their sex that would severe the penis of the man after he ejaculated. Her body would hold it inside to be sure the semen was not released, she would then devour the rest of him for nutrients to make her eggs grow faster. There are also middle male fey who…"

I interrupted her my nose wrinkled in disgust. "Ok I get it, the fey are gross and violent and bad."

She shook her head, "The fey are not human. Anyways you are upper fey."

"Great so let's focus on them. We're different how?"

"The upper fey are the most powerful, there are some middle fey that can pass as human in shape and manner but they upper fey are more," she hesitated as though trying to think, "regal."

"Regal?"

"They are the most powerful of the magical beings. The Sidhe rules the fey; they are beautiful, powerful and dangerous. They forbade Halflings from being born and ordered the fey to return across the veil. The war of the lesser and middle fey had spilled into this realm and it was wreaking havoc. To cross the veil is dangerous for the Sidhe might banish them to stay here. The elves are more powerful than the Sidhe and while they are fey, they keep to themselves and follow their own rule. The Sprites and Nymphs are lesser relations of the elves so they fall under that domain; all else falls under Sidhe rule. They have a truce, a treaty I suppose but small skirmishes arise. It is the Sidhe who hunt Halfling elves which is why I believe you are one."

"So fairie royalty is hunting me?"

She shook her head, "The Sidhe do not cross the veil."

"So what was hunting my Aunt?"

"She lived a long time in that realm, she would have been hunted by the Sidhe and come here to escape."

"The legend says something hunted her here?"

"Findabhair didn't talk a lot about her people and the politics of that place, what I know may seem a lot but I have told you the sum of what she has told me." Siobhan sighed. "The fey are a mystery. They are dangerous and powerful and they are not human. Their magic infiltrated this world and out of there wars, sprang vampires and werewolves. Their gifts gave your wolves existence and their off spring gave humans small gifts of magic, mostly so subtle it is not recognized as magic. The Sidhe do not want Halflings across the veil."

"So you have no idea what could be after me here?" My heart fell, I couldn't protect my family.

"I do." She sighed again. "It is not one thing but two."

My eyes shot to her in alarm, "Two?"

"The demons of the fey war." I frowned at her in confusion, "Werewolves and vampires." She clarified and at the last word, all the wolves around me were on their feet growling at the creatures still sitting cross-legged, calmly in front of us. Paul had jumped in front of me, even Sam who still lay supporting my back was trembling, and growling, his teeth bared in a growl more menacing than I had ever heard. I leaned forward to let him stand and immediately he was over me, growling at the Cullen's who rose to their feet just as calm as they had been sitting.

I felt the unnatural calm filling me. "Not us." Carlisle spoke with his hands up. "We have no part in this."

"Speak quickly." Edward spoke up.

Carlisle nodded and I knew Edward was translating the wolves.

"Please," Siobhan held up her hands, "I have not come to bring harm to anyone."

"Explain everything." Edward demanded for the still growling Sam.

"Werewolves and Vampires have been enemies for many centuries, one of our kings almost wiped them out." Carlisle spoke up. "We have three kings who uphold vampire law through their very powerful guard. They are the Volturi."

I moved to Sam's side, to see the Cullen's as they spoke, my hand in his fur to calm us both. "So what is their issue with half-breeds?"

"The Volturi are a very gifted coven, the greater the gift, the greater their use to the Kings."

"The gifted are people with fey blood."

Siobhan nodded, "And the closer the blood relation the more powerful the gift but Jasper is one of the most gifted I have ever met and his relation would be a few generations more than your Aunt's ancestors today would be had she born a child."

"You are an ancestor of hers?" Edward turned to face the Leah wolf. "Sorry, it's just curious that she would end up near her Aunt's ancestors and then her own uncle."

"My father put me here because of the link to my ancestors though it is pretty shocking Emmett was here too." I informed him. I hesitated, "She's safe right? They wouldn't come after her."

"Neither her or the one called Seth are in danger." Edward told me still looking intrigued, "Our venom is poison to them."

"So?"

"The greatest gift under the King's control is generations separated from the magic that provides it." Siobhan spoke up again.

"So they want to what, collect me?"

"If they could control you, yes, they would want you changed." The wolves all broke out in angry growls. "So would the werewolves. If the few of them surviving found you, they would have vengeance on their kind and be safe from the vampires."

"So both supernatural fey fuckups want to have me as their own little pet?"

I saw Jasper and Emmett snicker.

"Findabhair told me of your aunt." Siobhan spoke quietly.

"She did?" My heart beat quicker.

"I think maybe you do not know the whole story."

"Please."

"Shall we sit again?" Carlisle offered.

I nodded and sank to my knees. Sam lay down next to me where he had stood and I kept my hand in his soft fur. Paul lay on my other side and I ran my hand over his ribs in comfort. The other wolves seemed to shift closer to us before sitting or lying as well.

"Findabhair was a sprite, it was why she hated it here so much, she missed her lake."

"So she was a water sprite?"

Siobhan nodded, "She knew the elves though. It was why she was banished; she didn't talk about it much. Her eyes would turn their natural blue and she'd look terribly sad when she thought about it." What I know of your family is this, "Avalyn was a Halfling. Her father was a human that her mother had mated with. Kalista had three children, Avalyn, her first was from her brief affair in this realm but she carried her daughter back to the other realm to birth. There she mated and married another of the elves and they had two sons. One would have been your father. The Sidhe would not declare war on the elves, the land itself is tied more to the elves and while their numbers are less, their magic is greater. They do however toe the lines of war and attacking Halflings is one way. Avalyn came to this realm where she lived for several years. The werewolves, in full scale war with the vampires were hunting her down, she lost her mate to them."

I had tears in my eyes now as I nodded, she had lost her wise man and then waited to give birth before killing herself. "She killed herself after his death."

"The elves mate through their souls. It is not unusual for one to follow the other to the everlasting forest as Findabhair called death." I nodded and wiped my tears, "It's not the same meaning as to us child; for them to follow your mate is honoring yourself and your bond. Those who do not choose to follow suffer much more, their magic and life force slowly becoming weaker until they wilt like a spring flower in summer heat."

"She should have been safe. He should have been safe." I gripped the fur of each wolf at my side, my mate and my brother; I couldn't loose either of them.

Siobhan nodded, "Yes and the magic she hid destroyed those who dared to kill her mate."

I looked at her confused. "Destroyed them?"

"She knew the moment her soul mate died and her anguish weakened them, before she followed him her magic destroyed the wolves and vampires near and none came to the lands for many years. Even now werewolves cannot be found in North America."

"If it were the werewolves why were the vampires destroyed?"

She shrugged, "It was their war."

"So all of them died why would they come after me?"

"If the Volturi could seduce you to their side they might, more likely, they would kill you. Your power as either a werewolf or a vampire would be to great. You could destroy them if it was your wish to do so."

I swallowed, "So vampire royalty and werewolves want me dead?"

"Werewolves would want you one of them or at least a protector of them and as the mate to a shifter wolf they might feel some kinship. Also, they tried to go after your Aunt and it didn't end so well for them. It is a violent species but few of them eat humans now, it makes it harder for the Volturi to track them and easier for them to blend in with normal humans. I imagine there are still more packs out there than the Volturi believe."

"Ok, so we are pretty good on the not being hunted by werewolves thing?"

"They were not really hunting your Aunt. They wanted to claim her. Make her one of them. The full fey cannot be changed but the Halflings can. Or so it is believed since the generations following them can be."

"Has one ever been changed?"

She shrugged, "One with that kind of power would be something in deed. Like I said, even the most gifted I have heard of are several generations past."

"So what makes them think I can be changed?"

She shrugged again, "Even if you can't fey magic is strong and dangerous. If it isn't on their side the Volturi want it dead."

"The werewolves?"

"I imagine they just want to survive but I've never met one to tell you and Findabhair was not fond of them so didn't speak much towards them."

I nodded again, "So all we need to worry about is the Volturi really. The Sidhe will only come after me if I ever cross the veil which I have no plans to do and the werewolves are more on the side of offering friendship than attack?"

"It is my belief yes." She nodded.

I sighed a breath of relief, "How likely is it the Volturi would come?"

"I do not believe you have to fear that, though as my daughter promised your mate, should they make a decision that would affect this area we will contact you."

I smiled at him, "Thanks."

He nodded and smiled back, "I am sorry we cannot be more help. All the information Siobhan has told you came from Findabahair and a few nomads we tracked down but few know anything of the fey. It has been millennia since they roamed here, only a few cross over now and then and we don't know why."

I nodded, "It's a lot more than we knew before."

"The Volturi can't sense your gift. There are some with the gift to see the gifts of others but they wont know you are here because your magic is not bound." Siobhan spoke up, "Findabhair kept her magic and her appearance cloaked but it was not bound."

"She wasn't a Halfling."

"No." Siobhan smiled, "But a nomad we passed said the werewolves would have tracked your aunt through her scent not her magic as Findabhair believed. Only the fey can track through the tenors of some ones magic."

"What about those with a tracking gift from fey blood." Edward spoke, a question I was sure came from one of my family.

Siobhan shook her head, "The gift of tracking comes from the tenor of a person's mind or their scent and I believe part of your gift is as a shield. Edward tells me he cannot hear you?"

"Jasper can do his calm thingy on me."

"Your gifts are bound and still strong. Should you choose to free them I imagine you would still be safe from being hunted and if you weren't I believe that your power would be to great for them to bother. If you are no threat to our kind, to their rule, the Volturi are unlikely to attack unless you were or they felt they could use you. The risk to their own skins would be to high otherwise." Carlisle told us.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Avalyn meant beautiful bird. Kalista meant most beautiful one. Bella means beautiful. I imagine it is why you would prefer it to Isabella, it is closer to your own name, or what is should have been."

"What would my name have been?"

"Findabhair was with me long before your mother was born but your father would have followed the traditions and named you beautiful or pure."

"Pure?"

"Katherine meant pure." Siobhan informed me. "Your father would likely have named you pure beauty, something like Calla or he'd have named you for his sister Avalyn and her brother Emmett as it is their grief that brought them together, elves names always have meaning. Perhaps he'd have called you Emmalyn, which also means universal beauty. Yes, I imagine that would fit. It is significant to his mate and with his family."

"Emmalyn?"

She shrugged, "It's just a guess."

"I like it." Emmett grinned. "You should change yours to that."

"Gee thanks Bear, I didn't know my name was so bad."

He let out a booming laugh, "Nah but this way you'd be named after me."

"Do you think he buried Isabella with my name?"

Siobhan nodded, "I'd think he'd make the switch to pass both of you. His daughter was switched but then you really became Isabella and she became you. He'd have mourned her as his own and settled as your protector but let go of you as his daughter. You share his blood but are not his child, not anymore."

I nodded, "Ok."

"You are very tired." Jasper spoke up. "Is there anything more Siobhan?"

She shook her head, "I can show you what you look like though and confirm what you are?"

"Will it make a difference?" I asked, fighting a yawn. She hesitated, "Why?"

"If you are not one of the elves and are a Halfling Sprite or Nymph you would be marginally less powerful, the Volturi might feel they could find a way to control you or that you would be less of a risk dead than hoping you'd not take interest in them or their enemies."

"Can they tell the difference?"

"I don't know." She answered honestly.

"If you show me would they be able to discover me through you?"

"If I were to see them Aro would be able to read all of this with a touch. His gift is very powerful; he can read every thought you have ever had with one touch." She answered honestly again.

I nodded, "So if I am a sprite or nymph descendent it would be more dangerous?"

"Yes and less dangerous if they were to know for certain you were the daughter of the elves but it is unlikely I or the Cullen's will come across him for a very long time."

"Unlikely but not impossible."

"No."

I turned to Sam and buried my face in my neck, "What do you think?"

"He says it is your choice." Edward spoke up. Paul growled at him for his efforts.

"The pack would be safer if I were sure I was one and less safe for the other two but its not really certain we are safe at all." I whispered into him again.

Wisely, Edward didn't respond for him. I sighed and turned to Siobhan. "What would you have to do to me and could it be undone?"

"I would be the one to help you with this." Carlisle spoke up. "One of the nomad's I searched out had a fey companion for a short time. He was able to explain to me how a revealing glamour was used while they were… intimate… so he could see her true form. It will not last so you will go back to looking the same as you do now. I'm not sure how to entirely reverse the glamour and I'm not sure if that would be wise. There is a reason the fey used such magic."

"Jasper?" I turned to him, for some reason I felt like Sam respected him.

"My mate will bring us a mirror if you'd like to see it."

"He says if she is hurt or the magic isn't reversed it will be seen as an attack against the pack and they will retaliate. The other silver one says he'll attack if she feels the slightest pain or discomfort. The rest agree." Edward told his coven.

"The nomad said it was not painful for his companion, she did it to please him but he felt she was more relaxed without it as well. The changes were subtle but she looked different when they were complete."

I nodded, my hand still clutching Sam's fur.

"We could not learn how to unbind your magic but what we have heard is that you have the power and knowledge within you for when it is needed." Carlisle spoke again.

"Thanks, but I'm good with the mostly normal human life my mate and I have going here."

Emmett chuckled. "Can we talk next time Tinkerbelle?"

I smiled at him, "I'd like that Bear. Maybe you can call me to. It would make the boys a bit easier."

"Do you like Xbox? We could play and talk and they wouldn't have to wolf out."

"I'll have one of the boys teach me." I laughed.

He grinned and bounced up, "I'll go to the store in the morning and get you one. We'll have so much fun, even if you can't come over and Ali says they have a video camera on the computer so I can see you and she and Rosie can shop online and stuff with you. Esme says these days you can have a whole relationship without ever being in the same country."

I laughed at his excitement and was relieved he wasn't upset by the boundaries his species and my families placed on us. "You mean Skype. I have an account."

The little pixie vampire came out of the woods carrying a mirror.

"Sorry." She spoke from the edges of the tress. "I saw Siobhan coming for this and then I saw Jazz coming but they didn't come and I saw Jazz again and figured he made the decision because he knew I was watching for when I could see him again and wanted me to bring it."

"I did." He motioned to her with his hand and she danced over to him, a large full body mirror in her hands. He kissed her and they seemed to communicate something with their eyes or his gift before they turned to us.

"Are you ready Bella?"

I felt anxiety begin to build up but it was quickly washed away with a wave of unnatural calm, I smiled wanly at Jasper.

"Would you like me to stop?" I shook my head at him, "You're the only one I've known who can so readily feel my gift affecting them."

"It feels unnatural."

"I only mean to help."

I smiled at him, "I know and thanks, it's helping, it's just, this is…"

"A lot." He finished for me, "It is also not necessary though I believe, tactically it is a good idea to know what you are. It can also be done another time. We have no immediate plans to leave the area."

"Better to just get it over with though. I'll just be nervous until we do and I wont have your voodoo calm working for me at home."

He sent me a smile and a boost of confidence and I grinned at him.

"Your welcome." He nodded, reading my gratitude.

"So cool." I grinned at him again before turning to Carlisle.

"Ok, the pixie is here with the mirror, let's see what creature from the other side I am."

Carlisle nodded and stepped forward, "If you would stand across from me and the wolves would step just a little away from you."

Paul was immediately on his feet and growling, the others jumped up as well baring teeth menacingly. Then as if on command they all sat. Obviously, it was on command, Sam must have Alpha ordered them to back down. Paul sat at my side, teeth still bared and a low growl intermittently breaking the silence.

"She need not come any closer, I'd just like a clear view." Carlisle spoke calmly. I stood up. Sam and Paul still sitting on either side, my head only reached their shoulders.

"Ok." I sent him a small smile. "Let's try this."

He started to whisper something to low and fast for me to hear. I waited but nothing happened. Then he had me repeat a bunch of words twice. Nothing happened.

"I guess it's not going to work." I spoke but my voice seemed different.

"It worked Darlin', you're beautiful." Jasper spoke up causing Sam and Paul both to growl.

"She was always beautiful." The pixie, Alice, told him. "He's right though, you're stunning." She smiled at me and danced over with the mirror, "See."

I looked into the mirror and gasped. The tops of my ears had pulled up into points, my skin seemed to shimmer, not like the sparkly diamond thing Alice had done in the sun but it seemed to just, glow a little like the perfect alabaster skin tone of an air brushed model. My hair lightened from dull brown to warm honey blond and my eyes had gone from boring brown to a soft green with a ring of gold around the pupil, the ring around my iris was dark green, making the light green of my iris and the gold around my pupil seem to glow. The rest of me looked the same, I just had perfect alabaster skin, pointy ears, blond hair and glowing gold and green eyes. Part of me was relieved; I was still me.

"You are definitely one of the elves." Siobhan spoke.

"How can you tell?"

"A nymph though still pale has more golden skin and their ears while still pointed are a little more round. A sprite always has blue eyes, crystal blue eyes and their ears are slightly narrower with longer points where yours are more human but with a sharp point at the tip."

I nodded, "What else?" Something told me she was hesitating saying more.

"The gold in your eyes is strictly of the elves to. Findabhair once told me that if ever I crossed some one with a ring of gold around the pupil and a dark almost black ring around the iris, I would be faced with the most powerful being in existence."

"One of the elves?" I asked her taking my own attention away from my eyes.

"One of the elves yes."

"What's so special about my eyes?" I whispered, "Don't all elves have eyes like this?"

"Yes and no. All elves have a ring of gold that bleeds in to their iris and makes their eyes glow. Only one type, one family of the elves carry the eyes you have, the gold is a perfect circle, it doesn't bleed into the iris and the ring of deep almost black green around the pupil, it's, I can see why your father would want to protect you from the Sidhe."

"Why?" I breathed quietly.

"The Sidhe would not have killed you."

"Why?"

She hesitated again and Paul and Sam both growled. "Findabhair told me that the Halflings were killed because the Sidhe ruled them forbidden creatures that threatened both worlds having no place in either. A few exceptions were made."

"So why am I one?"

"You are very rare."

"Stop with the cryptic." Emmett huffed, making me laugh though I was also very grateful.

Siobhan sighed, hesitating while looking at the wolves and back to me. "The Sidhe would have kidnapped you, raised you amongst their own and began to be bred you as soon as you were viable. You would have become a very pampered sex slave."

"What!" Emmett yelled over the sound of the wolves growling.

"What?" I repeated, feeling sick.

"The power of the elves mated through a half breed to a Sidhe is minimal and the elves will free one of their own held captive."

"So why am I different?"

"A Sidhe matched with one of the line of Arawn would give them access to the magic of the elves."

"So I'm this Arawn line?"

"Only they bare the eyes you have."

"So it's like what? The ultimate elf?"

"They are the line of the King's of the elves, the true rulers of the otherworld. The elves don't much care with the other species but if they cared about power like the Sidhe they would rule without question."

"So why did my father have to send me away to protect me if he's so powerful?"

"The elves don't want war. They would win but the people would suffer. He did the best for his people as well as to protect you. He wouldn't have been able to do anything until after you were taken and then it would have been to late for you anyways."

"So does this mean they will try to come get me here?"

"No. The Sidhe don't come here and you have a mate. You would be useless to them now."

I nodded, "So this means the Volturi will fuck off right? I mean, I'm of the elves and all that so somewhere locked up in me is magic that they don't want to fuck with?"

She nodded, "I believe you and your family are quite safe?"

"Believe?"

"In all my years I have learned that nothing is certain but I'd bet on the outcome on this one being in your favor."

"So I can forget all about this fairie shit now?"

A small smile flickered at the corner of her mouth as Emmett let out another booming laugh.

"If it is your wish." Siobhan agreed.

I turned to Carlisle, "I don't know how to thank you."

"No thanks is needed." He smiled at us. "Allies and friends help each other and our families are tied together now. We wish to make your relationship with Emmett as easy as possible in such circumstances."

"Thanks you." I blushed looking down.

"So Princess Tinkerbelle, when can we play?"

I laughed at Emmett who looked as excited as a little kid on Christmas.

"Later Emmett, she's tired and this has been a lot for her." Jasper spoke up again.

"A lot for anyone." Alice agreed, "I only caught the end here and it's a lot and I have a vampire mind, the poor girl needs a drink, a bubble bath and a long nap."

"That sounds about right." I agreed with her. Emmett looked disappointed, "I'll call you soon ok Bear?"

He grinned at me and winked, "I'll get you that Xbox."

"Let me know if you need wedding help. I might not be able to see yours but I'm still really good at parties." Alice bounced, "Jazz and I have done in it a dozen times over the last sixty years."

"Rosie to, she's good with weddings and that. You could Skype it."

"Thanks."

"Go home. Your mate can contact any of us if you have questions." Jasper smiled at me.

"Thanks." I crawled onto Sam's back and hugged his neck. I was passed out before he made the tree line.


	43. Chapter 43

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts I will update as often as I can. PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

**Sorry! Some health issues came up so I've been in and out of the doctors and getting tests and it put me behind in classes and I am taking course overload this summer to finish my BA so it has been really busy… but only two more weeks, yay. I know you are all upset with the lack of writing I've been doing, I swear I have not abandoned Sam and Bella, just taken a hiatus for health/school reasons, but I'm back. **

I woke up the next morning later than usual, wrapped tightly around Sam. I thought back to everything I had learned the night before. My family was safe. I wasn't bringing some big bad after me. The big bad had learned its lesson from my Aunt. Our kind, were not to be messed with.

It was cool I had all this power locked up in me though it kind of scared me to and I didn't know what it did. I looked down at my hand and saw my normal pale skin instead of perfect almost glowing alabaster. I was just plain old Bella again, plain Bella Swan almost Uley and I was feeling pretty content with that. The whole, replacement fairie baby half-breed from another realm crap could just go haunt someone else. I was Bella Swan almost Uley and the only supernatural shit I was going to deal with was my werewolf family and my, mostly pretend they aren't supernatural blood sucking enemies of my pack, keep in contact mostly through technology, vampire one.

I yawned and snuggled into Sam, ready to go back to sleep for another hour.

"Sam!"

"Crap." I grumbled and Sam growled.

"Sam! You're late for the elders meeting! I have school, senior year dude! You are back to Alpha duties! I am done with it!" Jake called down the hall.

"Shit." Sam swore and I kissed his chest before stretching and stumbling out of bed. I pulled on jeans and a shirt and followed Sam out to where Jake was sitting on our sofa.

"Honeymoon is over back to pack leadership!" He grinned at us both.

"You don't have to be Alpha, not now that Jake is a wolf do you Sam?" I teased Jake going to start the coffee.

"That's just mean and I started the pot already." Jake smiled at me. "I have class in twenty minutes, not that I particularly love school or care about skiving but its better than meeting with the elders and explaining all that shit from last night."

"I'm going." Sam nodded at him, "Do not skip classes and the others had better be going to."

"Sure, sure." Jake grinned, "Dad just sent me over because you were supposed to be at ours half hour ago."

"Yeah." Sam grabbed an apple and kissed my temple before heading out to his truck.

"Why was the meeting made for so early?" I asked Jake, yawning and greedily pouring a mug of coffee.

Jake just shrugged, "Not my deal, I'm not Alpha or an elder, I was just the messenger wolf or wake up howl, whatever. Now I'm off to class." He grabbed my pop tart and hugged me before disappearing out the door. I rolled my eyes and popped another in the toaster.

The week passed in a blur. I spent the first day doing laundry and other house chores that Sam and I had neglected since our reunion. The rest of the week was spent learning Xbox, getting to know my uncle, his mate and their family. Mostly the boys played the Xbox and I and the other imprints found the blossoming friendship between our mates and the vampires amusing.

The next week I remembered I was getting married in a week and had no dress. None of us had clothes for the wedding. I was near panic and on the verge of tears when I learned about Sam and Jasper's chess dates online.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked me as I ran into the house in a panic.

"I have nothing to wear!" I heard laughter from the computer, "Who is that?"

"Jasper." He responded, "What's wrong with what you have on? Where are you going?" Sam asked me calmly.

"Jasper? The Empath Cullen?" I stopped, stunned.

"We're playing chess." Sam told me looking away.

I laughed, "You're playing online chess with my uncle's coven brother, the vampire?" He shrugged. "Jake and the boys play Xbox with Emmett like every other day and you are playing chess with Jasper… Is Leah gossiping on the phone with my aunt? Maybe Paul is helping the Doctor renovate their house? Have all of you wolves gone a bit barmy?"

"Esme is the decorator, she'd be the one to plan any renovations." Jasper seemed to laugh over the computer.

I rolled my eyes at him but laughed, "I'll let him know as it seems eventual all my wolves will go vampire soft."

Sam rolled his eyes, "We are not going soft."

"Of course not baby. You go back to playing chess with your vampire friend, I have a crisis."

"Right, clothes, why is that a crisis?" Sam asked, "You look fine. Where are you going?"

"I'm getting married in six days" I reminded him and groaned, "How could I have forgotten the dress? I'll be getting married in this if I don't find something and I can't get married in converse and jeans Sam!"

"Ok Jazz, chess game is over you boys find something else to do, this girl needs me." A feminine voice floated over the computer speaker. "Bella, this is Alice, don't worry, clothes are my special forte. Sit down and tell me all about the wedding plans, we'll find something and I promise it will be perfect and here in plenty of time."

"I'm getting married in six days." I told her with a sigh, "It's impossible."

"Trust me." She laughed, "Pour yourself a drink and sit."

"Tomorrow night Sam?" Jasper's voice came back.

"I'll log in same time." Sam told him and kissed my temple, "I'm going to Paul's want me to send over Emily, Leah and Kim to help?"

I shrugged, "Sure, love you."

As soon as he was gone, I sat down and explained everything I wanted to Alice. Almost immediately, she was sending me pictures of dresses not just for me but for the other three girls as well. I could have cried when two hours later we all had dresses chosen and had been assured they would arrive first thing in the morning the day after next.

Leah had gotten a beautiful khaki strapless, mid-thigh length dress. Emily and Kim both got similar mid-thigh length, strapless dresses, Kim in pale green and Emily in a pale blue. My wedding dress, also mid-thigh and strapless, had a sweetheart top with an empire waist. Just under the bust was a band of crystal beads and the dress floated to a couple inches above my knees. Alice suggested we all go barefoot for the ceremony and to the reception on the cliffs, she found ballet flats in the same colors as our dresses. The woman worked miracles on finding exactly the blend of casual and classy I wanted.

The next day we went to PA and bought all the wolves' cargo shorts, in the same khaki as Leah's dress, white button down shirts and white flip-flops. They'd all be barefoot at the beach as well but would need shoes for the bonfire. I wished there was a way to thank Alice so the girls and I spent a while looking around for a gift for her as well.

The rest of the week was spent in a flurry of preparations. One full day at the spa, Leah was not pleased with the wax and the tech looked a little scared when she came out but besides that, it was a wonderful and relaxing day. Rylan, the saint made sure everything was set up and perfect for me. He also brought Jack, much to both Kim and my pleasure. The two were so cute together and I hadn't seen Rylan so happy in forever. Kim agreed it was the happiest she'd seen Jack in a long time too.

Everything was perfect.

Until the rehearsal dinner.

Rylan insisted on a rehearsal dinner, all the pack, parents, elders, hell everyone coming to the wedding was invited. I wore the cherry blossom white pink dress I had bought for the prom I never went to and tried not to jump Sam who looked sexy in dark wash jeans and a black button up shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Rylan had ordered caterers and booked out the diner having all the tables set up as one and the place decorated to look less like a diner and more like an upscale restaurant complete with flowers and candles. It was perfect.

"Phil!" I saw my stepfather as Sam and I entered.

"Bella." He grinned at me and came over to hug me and shake Sam's hand. "Your mom is just in the ladies room."

"How was your flight?"

"Good. Sorry we couldn't make it until just today."

"That's ok, it's been so busy. How are you? How's the team?"

"Left the team actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah." He shrugged, "I finally accepted I'm just not going to make it."

"Oh Phil."

"It's ok. I got a great coaching position and I love it, I think it might be my real calling, teaching and coaching."

"That's great Phil."

"Bella!" My mothers voice brought unexpected tears to my eyes and we immediately tried to squeeze the life out of each other. "Oh baby you look so beautiful. I still can't believe my baby is getting married. Where is he? I need to meet my son. You know I swear the boys didn't look like this back when I was your age. Are you still sure? You are happy right because Phil and I can drive the getaway car and we can all be settled in Florida in a couple days. You know Phil left the team. He's coaching now and he's also teaching part-time so we aren't moving around anymore. He's teaching part-time because I'm teaching. Can you believe it, some one is paying me to teach art, not just one type either or one age, I teach painting and sculpting and some classes we make wind chimes and all types of art baby, its my calling it really is. Oh and I saw your father, you don't need to worry about that, we are just fine. You know he is still looking as handsome as ever, I swear he looks just the same as when I left here. I think he might have something with that Sue woman, its about time he moved on don't you think? Her daughter is beautiful but I heard someone say she used to date your Sam, I hope that wont be too weird for you if he does date her mother. Rylan did such a nice job with this old diner; I'd swear we were in a real nice restaurant and not the same old diner. It's just to bad it's raining. I hope it lets up for tomorrow. Did you plan for rain? I'd never even thought about it at all."

"Mom. I missed you so much." I laughed hugging her again. "This is Sam Uley, my fiancé, Sam this is my mom, Renee Dwyer."

"Mrs. Dwyer." Sam smiled holding out his hand.

"Sam!" She grinned at him and hugged him, "You call me Renee honey. I can't believe you are marrying my baby tomorrow. You treat her right."

"I will."

She turned to look at me smiling and winked and I knew she approved though I hadn't really doubted she would.

"Phil told me he was coaching. It's great about you teaching too, you were always so artistic."

"It's really wonderful, oh you know I'd hate to teach in a school or something regimented like that but these classes at the center are so great. I choose the schedule for each class and what to teach and I just love it. Oh look there is Billy Black, you know I don't think he ever approved of your father marrying me. I suppose he was right though, we were never a great match, not like Phil and I, Charlie is just so Forks and I can't imagine living with all this rain. Are you sure you want to settle here baby? Construction companies do well in hot places too. Oh, look Billy is with Sue, and I think that is her daughter, have you met?"

I laughed, "I'm sure Sam and I want to live here, we are very happy and yes Leah is a good friend and my maid-of-honor, we are both hoping dad and Sue will admit that they are dating, maybe make us sisters one day."

"That's wonderful. So tell me all about the others."

I laughed and took her arm leaving Sam with Phil, "Over there is Jacob Black, Billy's son, he's the one that introduced Sam and I. The girl with him is Kim and the guy wrapped around her is Jared, they are really close with Sam and I. Jared is the one that got Sam and I together really. Sam had a thing for me and as usual, I was oblivious, I think it's the inability to think when I look at Sam, I just sort of drool, even now. Anyways, Jared and I were chatting about working and he offered me a job with Sam's company so Sam could spend time with me and so he didn't have to do the paper work. I swear they didn't do it anyways, that office was a wreck when I went in. Well I went to work for Sam and we both ended up admitting how bad we had it by making out in his kitchen. Kim has been one of my two best girl friends since I moved here, well three really, Angela over there, the Asian girl, she's my closest friend from my short time at Forks High and has come in just for the wedding, from Seattle where she's in university. The other best is Emily, that's her there and she's with her fiancé Paul who's been like a brother to me." Paul looked over at us and smiled and I knew he had heard me, likely all the wolves could hear everything in the small space. "Over there is the twins, Collin and Brady with Leah's brother Seth and they are talking to Lore. She's the tribe's wise woman and my mentor, she's taught me all about the tribe and about gardening; herbology has become a new passion." I pointed everyone out as we made our way across the room, until I made it to a surprising face, a very unhappy face, Alia Uley.

My perfect evening flew out the window the moment she opened her mouth.

"Good Evening Mrs. Uley, this is my mother Renee Dwyer, Mom this is Sam's mother, Alia Uley."

"It's nice to meet you." Renee smiled warmly at her, "Isn't it wonderful, our babies are getting married tomorrow."

"No." Alia glared at her.

Renee's smile faltered and Sam was instantly at my side.

"Mother."

"Sam." She turned to him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was invited."

"Are you here to support us?"

She snorted and her eyes narrowed at me, "You really mean to marry my son?"

"That is why we're here." I answered her coolly, trying not to let the emotions overwhelm me.

"Why?"

"I love him."

She snorted again, "You don't belong here."

"Enough." Sam growled, "You'll accept it and respect her or leave. I told you that already."

"Do not do this Samuel. You will regret it."

"Leave."

"No, I will not allow this to happen." She turned to me with an evil glint in her eyes, "You will end this now or I will inform my son of just the type of woman you are and the things you got up to in the desert."

"Excuse me?"

"You know exactly what I am talking about. You are as flighty, unreliable and slutty as your mother. I'd wonder if you were even Chief Swan's daughter at all, your mother probably just needed a father for her brat."

The room had gone silent in shock and Sam was trying to control the shaking of his anger.

"You have no right to speak to my daughter like that." Charlie. He knew I wasn't his. Not because of my mother but because of some supernatural switch but he was still my father. He loved me beyond biology.

Alia sent him a look, "He is my son and I will protect him whether he wants me to or not."

"Sam." I turned to him, focusing on getting him to calm down; I could see Emily trying to calm Paul. All the wolves looked angry, not angry enough to phase thankfully but the situation was a little to volatile for an enclosed space.

"Take your hands off him and leave. Go back to the desert with your mother and find some other fool to take you in. If you are pregnant I doubt it is my son's child and regardless I wont allow him to be manipulated into marrying the likes of you."

"What like you manipulated his father into marrying you?" I spat at her. She smacked me. I was only stunned for a minute but before I could retaliate, Renee had smacked her back.

I pulled her away but Alia grabbed me by the hair. I unbalanced on the low heals and fell, her hand still pulling my hair brought tears to my eyes. I saw Sam yank her away from me and immediately jumped up and grabbed him. His whole body was vibrating.

"Sam, no." I tugged his arm, his hand still gripping his mother's arm as he shook. "Paul, Jared, take him outside." Neither of them moved. "Now!" They listened to the order and I turned back to Alia, "I'm not pregnant Alia. Sam and I are getting married because we love each other. Get over it or you will lose him if you haven't already." I hurried after the boys and saw them trying to calm Sam in the lot. Immediately I went into his arms.

"Love each other!" Alia screeched storming out of the diner. It seems the move outside had brought the shocked occupants inside to their senses and all of them poured outside after her. "You are nothing but a whore. I know. I looked into it, into you. I know all about David Carson and how you tried to get him for his money while sleeping with Jonathan Rivers on the side. That's why you came here. Tell me how long have you been screwing Rylan in my son's house? I know Jared, Paul and Jake have slept there when he's been gone! How many men are you screwing?"

Sam was shaking badly but I felt calm fill me as I turned back to her, "Sam knows everything about me. We have no secrets Alia. You want to know my secrets? You want to know why I moved here? David Carson and Jonathan Rivers are the reason I moved here. They are the reason Sam and I had a rocky start and why I have nightmares. David Carson and Jonathan Rivers beat and raped me, because I wasn't willing to take David's abuse anymore. For a year Rylan helped me to heal and now Sam and Paul, Jared, Jake, all the guys and Leah, Emily and Kim too, they help me to heal. They stay with me some nights, when Sam's not with me, just like Rylan did, because they don't want me to wake up screaming and alone. They stay because Sam asks them to stay, not me. I hate that they suffer with me. I hate that I am still damaged because of those two. That's my secret Alia, that's why I moved here. My ex-boyfriend and his friend raped me. My mother didn't know, she didn't see that he was abusing me. She didn't see that I was drowning; she didn't know he hurt me. I hid it from her. I hid it from the world because he had money and power and I was scared. So I moved here. I'm damaged and maybe I don't deserve Sam but I love him and he loves me. So now you know all my secrets. Everyone does. You've exposed me Alia. Does it make you feel better? Everyone knows my dirty little secret. Bella Swan, damaged, worthless, victim. I'm sure there are other words, other names, personally I like Leah's choice, survivor. It's a good word but the only identifier I really care about is wife. Sam's wife." I swallowed and lifted my chin still staring only at her, "So you've exposed my secret to the world and everyone knows that I'm damaged, but tomorrow they'll all know that I'm Sam's, forever and there is nothing you can do or say to change that. Sam already knows all my secrets and he still loves me. He doesn't think I'm damaged or unworthy and he's the only one that matters."

I turned away from her, I could feel the tears that spilled over my cheeks but refused to wipe them away. I took Sam's hand and led him to our truck. He wasn't shaking anymore. I think my little speech had shocked him as much as the rest of our silent audience.

He didn't speak as we drove home, didn't speak as we parked, and I sat, tears streaming down my cheeks, looking out at the night sky. I climbed out of the truck and went to sit on the porch.

Sam sat in the other chair, it took him a few minutes to break the silence, his voice barely more than a whisper, "I…"

"Don't," I cut him off, my voice as low as his, "Please don't apologize for her."

"Bella…"

"Sam." I cut him off again, "She doesn't like me, doesn't want you marrying me, we already knew that, it's fine. Better the rehearsal dinner than the ceremony."

He nodded and I turned to give him a weak smile, "It will be fine. Tomorrow we get married, well," I chuckled and lifted my hand to my neck, "more married."

"Yeah." He agreed with a smile. "Tomorrow you're my wife." His smile faded as he looked away from me towards the drive frowning. Three trucks were coming down the drive.

I laughed as I saw Paul step out of his with Emily, both of them carrying a tray of food. All the pack had come. My rehearsal dinner turned into a pack dinner, with all of us crowded around the kitchen table, Sam on one side of me, Paul on the other and the pack surrounding us. They told me stories about Sam, about each other and we ate and laughed until Rylan came home to send the boys off to Paul's. The girls were having a slumber party since Rylan insisted, wolfy mate marriage or not, the groom could not see the bride before the wedding, or in our case, before the tribal council meeting for permission for the marking I already had.

Sam kissed me so deeply my toes curled, "Till tomorrow mate."

"Tomorrow, I love you Sam." I kissed him again and Rylan came over to pull him outside.

"Tomorrow love mutts. Then you will be both bound and married, forever. Tonight you say goodnight."

"Dream only of me Baby-girl." I smiled at him as he went with all the other guys, piling into the trucks.


	44. Chapter 44

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts I will update as often as I can. PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

**Goin' to the chapel and we're ****  
****Gonna get married ****  
****Goin' to the chapel and we're ****  
****Gonna get married ****  
****Gee, I really love you and we're ****  
****Gonna get married ****  
****Goin' to the chapel of love**

**The Dixie Cups "Chapel of Love"**

Finally the day dawned, I was excited and anxious to see Sam. I was getting married today.

Rylan showed up with breakfast and my mother as I sat sipping coffee on the porch.

"Morning Isa!" Rylan called to me as he climbed out of the rental car and hurried over to me, "Happy wedding day!" He pulled me into a hug and whispered into my ear, "I told her everything, well not the wolfy revenge bit but you know, all that year."

I nodded at him and smiled, "Thanks Rylan."

"I'll go get the girls up." He motioned the three women who had followed in a second car into the house, makeup hair and breakfast was my guess.

Renee came onto the porch, "Bella," she took a breath and then closed her mouth, her eyes swimming with tears, her mouth opened again, she licked her lips and tried a third time, "I should have noticed."

"I did my best to hide it." I told her pulling her into a hug, "I never meant you to find out, especially not like that."

"I should have protected you." She sobbed, "My baby girl. I'm so sorry."

We held each other and cried.

We pulled apart after a bit, "Come on," I smiled at her wiping my eyes, "This is a happy day. I'm getting married."

She nodded and forced a smile, "Yes you are. My baby is getting married."

I hugged her again and we went into the house. Leah, Kim and Emily were all awake and eating from the containers one of the women had brought in while the other two set up makeup and hair stations. I chuckled at having gotten the purpose of the three women right.

"Ok, bride, you eat, and then shower. We have a lot to do and not much time to do it in!"

I hugged Rylan again laughing and dug into the breakfast. After my shower Rylan had my hair blow dried and handed me a beautiful halter top, v-neck white cotton summer dress with a white strapless bra and white lace boy shorts and my white wedges. Lip-gloss and mascara were allowed and then he ushered me out the door where Sam was already waiting for me.

I ran into his arms. It felt like more than nine hours since I had seen him. It felt like days. Rylan whistled and Renee laughed, breaking us apart. I blushed fuchsia and waved to my mother. We had told her we were going to get the tribes permission for the wedding, that it was part of the tribal ceremony; luckily, she didn't question it.

Charlie was waiting for us at the Council House and hugged me tightly, "Bells, I."

"I'm ok dad. Still a little damaged but healing. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you. I just, I couldn't talk about it."

He nodded and hugged me tighter, "Sam will take care of you. No one will ever hurt you again. I'll shoot them."

I laughed and kissed his cheek, "The animal attack will cover your tracks once the boys got done too."

He smiled at me and nodded, then he seemed to think for a minute, and his eyes met mine, "An animal attack?"

I nodded and winked at him. He looked over at Sam and they did that silent male nod of communication. I felt tension ease out of my father, he knew and approved of what Rylan hadn't mentioned to him and my mother.

Sue came out and motioned us to enter then so I kissed his cheek and went back to Sam's side and we all entered the council hall.

"Alpha and Luna." Lore smiled at us both as we stopped in front of all the elders.

"Lore." We both bowed our heads in respect.

"You have already committed the marking." Old Quil spoke up.

"We have." Sam nodded.

"The informal permission to do so stands so instead we are here to offer our blessings." Billy smiled at us. "Charlie."

We turned back to my father, "I gave my blessing to the marriage and permission to the marking some time ago. I've given my daughter into your keeping Sam. I couldn't have asked for a better man for it. I'm proud to have gained a son as my daughter has gained a people."

I squeezed Sam's hand, "I," Sam had to clear his throat, "Thank you Charlie. I'll do everything in my power to deserve her and honor you as our father."

I sniffled as they did the manly hug back pat thing before quickly stepping apart, shuffling their feet and looking back at the counsel.

Sue smiled at us, "Your souls are bound to each other for eternity. We bless this union and pray to the ancestors your future is filled with love and laughter. We wish your future children health to carry on the line of the wolf. Congratulations and may the spirits bless you both."

Well that was easier than I had been expecting. Permission granted, blessings given and time to get ready for the wedding part. Sam drove us back home but was stopped from exiting the car by Rylan who shooed him away back to Paul's again. The place was swarmed with people and a small moving truck was in our drive.

"What is all this Ry?"

"Set up Isa. Now come on, let's get you ready." He pulled me into the house and set me in the chair for hair and makeup again.

The woman wet my hair and pulled out scissors cutting a few layers into my long wavy hair, then she enhanced the wave and put a little product in before blow-drying it. My hair looked a little windswept and natural, just curlier than I normally wore it since I didn't really bother to straighten or curl my hair much, leaving it just its natural semi-wave. I liked it like this and it was fast and easy. Next, the make up girl put on eyeliner, a little shimmer stuff, and more mascara. Between the two of them, with the haircut, I was done in an hour, much faster and more painless than I had expected. Each of the girls had hair and makeup done and all looked natural and beautiful when they were finished.

My mother pulled me aside in my room as Rylan sent me to put on my dress and went to check set up and await the arrival of the boys who he'd left in Jack's hands.

"Bella?"

"Mom?"

"I have your luck."

I grinned at her, "thanks."

"I don't think you'll need it with Sam." She grinned back, making me laugh.

"No, he's my forever but a little luck never hurt." She laughed with me and then pulled a bag out of her purse.

"This was harder than I thought." Renee laughed, "This belonged to your great gran, for your something old. Your gran always told me her parents had been soul mates, the kind you normally only read about." Inside the little pouch she handed me were pretty diamond studs. I slipped them into my ears as she pulled out a small square box "This is for something new." She told me handing me a little box. "It's also a little wedding present. Phil and I got something for the both of you but this is just for you from me." I opened it and found a beautiful silver charm bracelet with a little charm of two hearts entwined, todays date engraved on one arm of the heart. "Something borrowed, is from my wedding with Phil. Your father and I were just not meant to be and I hope you and Sam are as happy as Phil and I are." She handed me the pouch and inside was the little silver toe ring Phil had spontaneously proposed with. "And finally you're something blue. A little gift from Phil." She handed me another small pouch and in it was a delicate anklet with alternating clear and blue crystal beads.

I hugged my mother tightly, I loved her so much, we had been so close and I missed her. Things had changed so much and I had so many secrets from her, including that I wasn't biologically hers but she was my mother, things would never be the same as before I'd met David but I would always love her. We laughed with watery eyes as we hugged again.

She helped me change into my wedding dress and then we went back out to see the other girls who were all dressed now as well. The makeup girl checked my eyes, luckily, she used mascara that wouldn't run, then she added lip-gloss and I was deemed to be ready to get married.

Leah tugged me aside while my mother got her makeup finished. "We have something for you."

"For me?"

She nodded and pulled me into the spare room where I saw all the Cullen's on Skype, dressed up and grinning at us.

"Happy Wedding Day!" They grinned at me.

"Your mate arranged it with your human friend so cameras were set up and I can watch you get married." Emmett told me, his eyes seemed almost sad as he smiled, "I wish I'd seen Katherine get married but at least I'll be here for yours, well sort of."

I bit back a fresh wave of tears. "I'm glad you are Bear."

"Do not cry, you'll get puffy and you look beautiful." Alice told me making me laugh, "Spin so I can see the dress properly.

"Thanks." I twirled around for her and she deemed me to be perfect, I really wished I could hug that girl for helping me with my dress crisis.

"We left wedding gifts for you at the border." Rose told me, "I also left the ribbon from the bouquet I carry at all Emmett's and my weddings, as something old, blue and borrowed for luck for you since you can't have something from Emmett's side of the family."

"Thank you Rose." I didn't even know what to say.

"I bought the dress so you have something new from us as well." Alice told me.

"You? But…"

"No buts, we also arranged it so Esme could make your bouquet from the flowers in her garden and Carlisle found a six pence to tie to one of them for future wealth."

"Thank you. All of you, I don't even know what to say."

"Just be happy." Esme smiled at me.

"And have a happy wedding day." Rose finished.

"I'll be with you Tinkerbelle." Emmett winked and Leah told them we had to go, Charlie was here.

I hugged Phil and thanked him for the anklet before he took my mother towards the beach with Kim and Emily where the boys were already waiting. Rylan hugged me tightly and then took Leah's arm and went down leaving me and Charlie to follow.

As I followed the path to the beach I heard music playing softly from speakers, Ronan Keating's When you say Nothing at All. I could feel the tears burning at my eyes before we even passed through the trees onto the beach. Walking across the cool sand to Sam the world faded away, I wanted to run to him. Charlie walked us slowly to where Sam stood, Paul and Jared beside him, Rylan and Leah across him. Our eyes met and the pools of liquid chocolate and caramel drew me in, calling me to him.

Charlie kissed my cheek and gave the arm he held to Sam. I stepped to my mate and smiled, my eyes never leaving his. I couldn't help but tip up on my toes and kiss him. His warm arms instantly flowing around me as he kissed me back. When we parted his forehead rested against mine for a moment before Billy cleared his throat and we pulled a little apart but still holding each other.

"We are blessed to witness a love so pure and true. Life is not easy and hardships will come but together you will stand strong. Your souls are bound, each to each and today we come to celebrate as you acknowledge this bond and promise your lives to each other in the presence of those you love and call family." Billy spoke, his voice strong and sure. Bella."

"Sam." I smiled at him, fresh tears welling in my eyes, "My life is your life, I give you my body, my heart and my soul, all that I am is yours. I will cherish your life and happiness above all else. I will support you when you feel weak, comfort you when you feel pain and laugh with you when you feel joy. You are my soul mate, bound to me for all eternity. I am yours, always."

Sam reached up and wiped away the tear that escaped, before leaning down to kiss the same spot. "My Bella, I looked into your eyes and the whole world fell away, there was nothing, could be nothing to hold me to this earth but you. Loving you is what gives me strength, purpose, happiness and peace. I will honor and protect you with every breath of my life. I will be whatever you need me to be; your happiness is my greatest concern. I claim you as my wife; you are my soul mate, bound to me for all eternity. I am yours, always."

"An exchange of rings, as physical symbols of this promise and the unending bond you share." Rylan stepped to me and took my bouquet as Paul stepped forward and handed Sam the ring to give to me. For a second my eyes left my mate to flick to my brother. His eyes swirled with emotion as he sent me a small smile and handed me Sam's ring before stepping back. "With this ring you provide each other and the world with an outward symbol of your love, with this ring you commit to your bond."

Sam took my hand and kissed my finger, "Forever." He whispered to me as he slipped the ring on.

I took his hand in mine and slipped his ring on before entwining our fingers together, the rings, two bands of gold twined together, set next to each other on our fingers, "Forever Sam." I whispered back to him as he leaned down to kiss me again, a soft, slow caress of our lips.

"From this moment, you are bound in this world as our souls are bound, each to each, for all eternity. A kiss, another kiss," the crowd chuckled, "to seal the bond." Sam and I flowed together, I could feel warmth fill me even as the sky opened and rain began to fall over us. I could never be cold in Sam's arms. His head dipped down, the kiss at once tender and passionate. I was Sam's and he was mine, no one and nothing could ever part us now.


	45. Chapter 45

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts I will update as often as I can. PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

As we turned towards the tree line we saw Alia watching on the path. Sam's face went hard as he stepped forward. I stilled him with a hand on his arm and walked over to her.

I could see the anger in all our guests faces and a few of the wolves were trembling.

"Alia." I smiled at her.

She lifted her chin but there was sorrow in her eyes, "I didn't know those things. What I learned from the investigator…" her voice trailed off. I knew what she had learned, the rumors that had been spread about me by David to protect himself.

"Was all lies." I told her, "Painful rumors to discredit me if ever I tried to tell the truth."

She nodded, "I never, it wasn't my intention to hurt you."

"Trying to keep me and Sam is trying to hurt me, to hurt us both."

She nodded, "I'm sorry." She looked to Sam who still stood glaring at her from my side. "I'll go."

"You have a right to see your son get married Alia." I told her softly. "Like it or not, I am Sam's wife. I'd like it if we could at least be civil."

She smiled sadly at me, "Thank you."

"We're taking pictures now, you should have one with Sam."

"Hurt her again Alia and I will not forgive you." Sam warned her, his voice a low growl.

She nodded and I pulled at Sam's arm a little to make him walk. We took photos on the beach, in the yard near the woods and on the cliffs. Alia stayed. She looked remorseful and I wanted to forgive her but I wasn't ready to open my arms to her. I doubted she was ready to accept me either but perhaps this was a first step. She took photos with us and sat quietly as we all ate the meal Rylan had catered. It was damn useful to own hotels when planning someone a wedding.

After dinner, we went out to the cliffs for the bonfire. The pack held back, waiting to give us our marking gift.

It was Jake who stepped forward as the one meant to be Alpha. "Sam, Bells. The pack congratulates you. We swear our loyalty and hearts to you Bells as our pack sister and give you these gifts as a symbol of our loyalty and love."

Paul stepped forward first with a puppy in his arms, "A symbol of the wolf and protector." He winked at me. "She's a wolf malamute mix to symbolize the mix of our Quileute line with yours pale-faced sister."

I laughed and hugged the puppy in to me.

Jared stepped forward next, "A symbol of our family as it grows through your bond together. The roots buried deep in La Push to ground us, the branches reaching up to the skies where the ancestors can whisper their wisdom through the leaves that are our people now." He handed Sam a large circle of wood with a beautiful tree carved into it, the roots visible and the many branches full of leaves. We hugged them all. My new puppy squirming as he got a little squished.

I wiped at the tears and held my puppy as we walked home with the pack. Sam kissed me and carefully hung the wooden circle with its tree carving beside the door. As we turned back to the pack they all let up a howl and Sam joined in. No wonder the elders warned that the human guests might find the tradition odd. We hugged all the pack again and walked together to the cliffs where the guests waited to celebrate with us. Part of me just wanted to pull Sam into our home and slam the door shut but another part of me wanted to enjoy this night with all our family and friends.

"Shall we give her a name?" Sam broke into my thoughts.

"I've never had a pet. How do you go about naming them?"

He laughed, "I've never had one either. I suppose we just pick something we like that we think suits her."

She was gray and white with a tiny bit of black on the tip of her tail. She was beautiful and quite content in my arms.

"She should have a strong name. Kyra or Nikita, I don't know." Naming was hard.

"What do they mean?"

"Kyra I think means Lady and Nikita I know means unconquerable."

"Nikita," Sam repeated looking at her in my arms, "Niki for short?" he suggested.

I nodded in agreement. "Our little Niki."

It looked like the whole tribe and half of Forks was waiting for us at the cliffs and they all cheered as we came up.

Everyone congratulated us and cooed over Niki. Drinks were being circulated and everyone was talking and laughing. Niki was running around underfoot. The night couldn't be more perfect.

Leave it to Rylan to prove me wrong. An explosion over the water had us all turning to look as fire works lit up the sky. Sam wrapped his arms around me and kissed my shoulder.

"I love you Bella Uley."

"I love you Sam Uley, forever."

When the show was over we thanked Rylan and started to say goodbye. It took us over an hour but we were finally able to head home.

Niki knew instinctively that Sam was the Alpha, so as though she was fully trained, when he called her name she came trotting over and sat perfectly at our feet. I laughed and scooped her up, kissing the soft fur on her head.

Sam and I spent three days holed up in our home or on the beach behind the house, Niki running in and out of the waves or disappearing in the woods. She'd be gone for hours but we didn't worry. The pack was out there. They didn't show up, just left a huge amount of groceries on the patio the first morning with a not from Jake.

_One week Sam and then I am sending the pack back to you. I still don't want it._

We both laughed and brought the groceries inside, both of us looking forward to our week. We didn't get it.

Jake came with Paul and Jared after three days. The day after our wedding Alice had called Jake with news that three vampires came into the area and disappeared. The same three that had killed someone last spring. The pack caught their scent the next day but didn't catch the three vampires. The pack came for us when the killed someone else, they killed Charlie.

I sank to the ground in shock and Sam instantly had me wrapped in his arms. He held me to him as I rocked, unable to process the words that had come from Jake. Jake and Jared left while Paul stayed. Emily came later with food. I couldn't eat. I couldn't speak. I was numb. I just sat, curled into Sam with Niki curled at my feet.

I knew the pack had all come. They always came together, to support each other and I was one of them but it wasn't until the elders came that it sunk in.

I looked over at Billy's sad face. "Please Billy." I wasn't sure what I was asking him, to make it not true maybe.

He shook his head, he looked like he had aged ten years and I saw a tear escape.

I let out a keening wail of grief and heard it picked up by Niki and then all the pack. I began to cry. Sam just held me to him. Rocking me gently. My father was dead. My dad. He had walked me down the aisle only days before. He'd kissed my temple and joked about grandkids as Sam and I left the bonfire.

I cried until darkness took me and even in my sleep I sobbed for my father, the man who had loved me more than blood or humanity, who I had not gotten to spend enough time with.

I felt a gentle hand stroking over my forehead and blinked open my eyes. I was surprised to see Alia kneeling in front of me. Her cool hand was soothing and her voice gentle as she sang softly, lulling me back to sleep.

The next time I woke up Sam helped me into the shower. He helped me dress in a black dress that Rylan picked out and together with the pack we went to the service Billy had arranged for my father. Sam held me up with Paul on my other side. I couldn't seem to stop the tears. I had never known anything so painful. Yet I also felt such love. All the pack, the elders, Alia, the Forks police force, everyone who was there was united in sorrow and helped to support me.

I sobbed at the picture of Charlie in his sheriff uniform over the black coffin and felt a hand creep around my waist. Sam already had his around my shoulder. It was Paul. Then I felt another hand reach to take mine from in front of Paul. Jared. Another hand on the arm I had wrapped around Sam, Jake. All around me my family shared my pain, taking it into themselves.

The wake was at our old house. Walking in was like a kick in the gut but the pack was with me. Sam and Paul never left me and the others were always near. Emily feeding all of us, Jared took care of everything for us and Jake took care of the pack. Leah walked over and pulled me into a hug. She understood more than anyone how hard this was. She was suffering to, not just with me but reliving her own loss. Her mother needed her and Seth. Sue and Charlie had become so close. I hugged her and thanked her and sent her back to Sue, curling closer to Sam's heat again, Paul's hand resting on my arm or my back. I needed the contact, to be touching or be touched by both of them. All the pack gave me comfort.

I was numb to the passing time, led through the day by the pack until I was home again. Lore came by that night and she sat with me, sending Sam outside with the pack. They had to deal with this. To kill those leeches before someone else lost a father or friend.

"It hurts I know Luna." She crooned to me and began to sing in a language I didn't know. It was unlike anything I had ever heard before and yet the words seemed to flow into me like my soul knew them.

"Your not human are you?" I whispered after a while, not sure where the knowledge came from but I knew it was true.

"No." She responded, still humming.

"Who are you?"

"I'm your grandmother. Leah and Seth's grandmother by many generations past."

"Avalyn's mother?"

"Yes. My daughter died in this world. The wife of her spirit brother promised me that her memory would not die. I did not want her child to know about her or where she came from but every other generation or so I came to check on my daughters line. The last time I came, my husband had been parted from me for many years and all my children grown. I fell in love with a man here and stayed to watch over Leah and Seth. I knew they were special. My daughters line mixed with the wolf. I thought Leah might need me but it was you that led me here I believe. I was meant to be here for when you came."

"My father brought me here because you were close, not because of Leah and Seth."

"Yes." She agreed.

"My father is dead." Fresh tears escaped.

"He was a good man. He loved you very much." She began to hum again as I cried in her lap.

"Lore?"

"Kalista, my true name is Kalista Rea tes Arawn."

"You're elf royalty." I said recognizing the last name.

"No. I married Elf royalty. Your grandfather was an Arawn. I was, I am a Rea. Still a high ranking elf but not of the royal family. Your father, my son, brought you to me to keep safe as I could not keep my daughter safe."

"Will you re-cross the veil?"

"I have loved three men Bella and outlived them all. I am old, centuries old and I am tired. I will let my life play out in this realm and join the land of spirits."

"I miss Charlie."

"I know child." She began to hum again, the tune that soothed my soul.

Sam and Paul came back inside. Leah was staying with her mother; Jake was running patrol with Seth and Jared. They were determined to track the leeches and when they caught a fresh scent the pack would destroy them.

I slept peacefully in Sam's arms that night, dreaming of Charlie fishing at a river with Harry Clearwater.


	46. Chapter 46

**I do not own Twilight! I just made up the story using the characters and themes created by the talented Stephanie Meyer.**

**This Story is rated M for a reason, please no readers under 18 or anyone offended by ****extreme lemons**** or ****violence****.**

**Thank you so much for adding me to you favorites and story alerts I will update as often as I can. PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS! I send my love and gratitude to all those who have written and continue to write them. **

It took them two days to catch a fresh trail and when they did, the boys were off with a vengeance. Emily and Kim turned up at mine a few minutes late and we caught glimpses of Seth guarding us in the woods. We knew another wolf would be in the woods by the council house, guarding all the elders. The only one they didn't need to call and warn this time was Charlie. I wiped at the tear that fell and pushed away the pain. Something didn't feel right to me. I was worried about the pack. Maybe it was just because these leeches had killed my father that I was afraid they would take away another of my family but I felt restless and afraid. I stayed outside, watching the woods with Emily and Kim.

Then I felt a chill race through me. I stepped off the porch, staring into the woods. It was wrong. Something was wrong. Everything was wrong.

I felt molten lava run through my veins as though my blood were boiling. I could feel the mark on my neck turning ice cold and each beat of my heart was a painful drum singing the name of my mate.

"SAM!" I screamed out his name as the earth began to tremble. My vision swam with darkness as I heard the screaming of animals deep in the woods all over shadowed by the howling of wolves so loud it was as if there were hundreds all around the reservation.

**Emily POV**

Bella's head shot to the direction of the woods, and she got up and walked off the patio. I saw her hair lighten to honey blonde and her skin begin to glow like the full moon on a cloudless night. Her eyes shone like emeralds with gold around the pupil. The earth began to tremble and as she screamed out Sam's name, her eyes glowed like flames were behind them and her hair shone silver.

Animals in the woods began a symphony of screams and howls, birds lifted into the air and the howls of more wolves than the pack could produce rose in pain and anger. Human screams joined them as the trembling of the earth grew until the shaking tore open the land, the sky opened up and rain poured down, thunder and lightening shaking the sky as the earthquake shook the land.

Bella dropped to the ground, her silver hair had grown and splayed out around her, her skin still glowed but she lay still as death.

I ran to her but stopped as a pure white wolf came out of the woods. It's eyes shone as crystal blue as a glacier. It walked over to her side and lay down, ignoring Kim and I, so I slowly continued on out to her. Kim had followed me and she helped me lift Bella, the wolf followed us as we carried her into the house and laid her out on her bed. She was still breathing. The wolf climbed on the bed and lay beside her, its odd blue eyes watching us as we dried her as best we could and changed her wet clothes.

Bella slept, peacefully, her heartbeat steady and her breathing even but she did not wake or stir at all. I gently lifted a lid of her eyes and saw they were green, a golden ring around the iris and a black one around the pupil but it was pale green that shone as though the sun shone through the finest emerald.

The rain beat down around us but the earthquake had passed and the thunder and lightening were coming less often. I kissed my sisters forehead and took her hand in mine. Kim sat at the foot of the bed, her hand resting on Bella's ankle. We stayed like that, watching Bella for any sign of movement, worrying over her and our mates.

Jacob was the first to come. Each of our hearts felt as though they froze in our chests. Our mates would come for us if they were well.

His eyes passed us to Bella, his body seemed to tremble as he spoke, "Sam was bitten."

Tears flowed past our eyes, we knew what that meant; vampire venom was poison to the wolves.

When he died, so to would Bella and perhaps following her would be Paul and then myself. Our lives interconnected, bound one to the other by magic we did not understand. I did not care to. The ties were gifts and I would not want to survive without my Paul nor could I watch him suffer each day without his spirit sister.

"He's alive."

"How long?" I asked him, my hand squeezing my sisters gently.

"He's not going to die." The exhausted voice of my mate temporarily cancelled out his words and I jumped up and ran into his warm arms.

"Paul." I let all the fear I had refused to feel fill me as I held him; so grateful he was here and alive.

He held me only a moment, but it was all I needed to feel, warm, safe and stronger. He kissed my temple before turning his attention to the still form of Bella.

"What happened?"

"We don't really know." Kim answered, her voice no higher than a whisper.

"Is she ok?" Jacob's voice was just as soft.

"She's breathing." I told them, I had no other answer to give.

"The Doctor…" Paul seemed to hesitate, "Cullen, is with Sam." I wondered why he hesitated to call him a leech, they had helped us before but whatever respect my mate might begrudgingly allow them, he still disliked the Cullen's. Perhaps it was for his sleeping sister.

"Is it all of them?" Jake asked him, stepping a little away from Bella so Paul could sit near her, he held me close to him even as he ran a hand gently over her forehead and down her silver hair.

Paul nodded, "The elders need you. We're all needed."

I hugged him, loath to let him go again. "Is it safe?"

He nodded, "The three are dead."

"You two stay here with Bella, if there is any change at all call us. The Doctor Cullen will come here when he is done helping Sam. Her uncle will come as well."

"Onto the reservation?" Kim asked him, her voice still strained with worry for her absent mate and her sleeping sister.

"Things have changed." Was Jacob's only answer, "Jared will bring them." He assured her as he turned and left the room.

I looked to my mate for answers and he kissed my temple as he stood, "Take care of her. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Paul?"

"I think she did something. Something big. You'll understand more when the Cullen's come. I have to go now."

He hugged me to him again and gently stroked the back of Bella's hand before leaving.

I sat back down and again noticed the wolf watching me. I wondered that Jake and Paul hadn't asked about it.

**Jared POV**

It was routine. Leeches on the reservation, three of them, the same three that had passed through not long after Bella arrived. The three that had killed Charlie.

The Pixie fortuneteller had called to tell us.

It was routine. Hunt them down and tear them apart.

No one should have gotten hurt.

We were running around the ocean way, Sam, Paul and I. Jake and the others were chasing them this way. I could see Collin grab hold of the leech with dread locks; he and Brady tore him apart. Quil was guarding the elders and Seth was with our mates. Jacob and Embry were chasing the blonde and Leah was at the heals of the red-haired woman.

She slipped past just as Jake drove the male into us but then she dropped onto Sam's back as he tore an arm off her mate. Her teeth ripped into his shoulder. We could feel his pain as the venom burned icy fire through him. Paul ripped off her head, a piece of Sam's shoulder tearing away in her mouth.

The earth began to tremble and the sky thundered; the clear night instantly turned to an unnatural storm as an earthquake ripped open the land. The male vampire began to scream, his voice mixing with the screams of all the animals in the woods, his venom turning to blood as Jake tore him apart. We heard wolves begin to howl as mind after mind joined our own and I watched as the darkness of the forest deepened and a pack of wolves led by a pure white wolf seemed to materialize out of the dark, three pointy-eared, silver-haired beings behind them.

They moved to Sam and one touched his shoulder, instantly the black wolf became a man. We saw clear fluid dripping out of the wound on his shoulder.

"He will live." One of the silver-haired people spoke to us.

"Things will be changed." The gentle voice of another sounded both sad and hopeful.

"Hold faith and she will return to you." The third spoke nodding to us before the three of them melted back into the darkness and disappeared. With them, the new voices in our minds disappeared.

_Paul, help me take Sam to Charlie's place. Jared get the Doctor leech_. Jacob took command. _Seth? Quil?_

I saw Bella in Seth's mind and whined with fear and worry. I had to get to them, I had to hold Kim in my arms and see Bella."

_Focus._ Jake ordered us and our minds began to process Quil's confused thoughts. Every Quileute boy over thirteen and under forty had phased for three minutes before reverting back to terrified humans.

_Embry, Leah to the Elders. Paul take Sam to Charlie's, Jared get the doctor Leech_. Jake commanded, already running.

The whole of the reservation had converged on the council house when he arrived. I ran to the Cullen house, my mind focused on my pack brothers' minds until I noticed I was at the Cullen house and I still didn't smell them. I focused my attention on my own task as I let up a howl. There was no response. I found the pixie laying in the grass her mate only a few feet away. Gentle heartbeats thrummed in their chests.

_Fuck me!_ Jacob cursed in my head, it was echoed by every wolf in the pack.

_Find Bella's uncle!_ _Find the fucking doctor! _ Paul demanded, pacing just outside the door to Charlie's house. I could see in his head that Sam was inside on the couch already.

_Bring all the Cullen's to Charlie's they can go with the doctor lee… Cullen to check on Bella after he sees Sam. Collin Brady stay with Sam. Paul, I'm with Bella meet me here. _Jacob ordered before phasing out of our heads.

I sniffed out the rest of the family and phased as I saw the caramel haired girl stir.

"Shit!" She cursed sitting up.

"You have no idea, lee, um, lady."

"Esme."

"Right, listen, I'm not sure what's all going on but I need the doctor. Sam is hurt bad, he was bitten but I think he's going to live and then you need to check on Bella. Some weird shit has happened."

"Carlisle." She called gently.

"Doc Cullen?" I shouted.

Five minutes later, all the Cullen's had gathered. The blond was crying against her mate, all of them looked stunned and cold in the rain and darkness, all of them had gently thrumming heartbeats and smelled clean and human if still a little over sweet.

It took another ten minutes to get them all up to date, relatively calm and into cars to get to Sam. I phased and ran back to meet them there. This night could not get more fucked.

Time passed and things calmed down. Sam woke up and was gaining strength daily, he was healing quickly but Bella remained, unmoving, still and silent as death. The only thing that let us know she lived was the gentle rise and fall of her chest and the steady thrum of her heartbeat.

The Cullen family, were still living breathing people who ate, bled and had a heartbeat though they still seemed slightly faster and stronger than regular people.

They called friends in Alaska and found they were talking of heartbeats and humanity. Together both covens called as far as South America before they found a vampire who was still a vampire.

None of the boys who had phased for those few minutes remained wolves though they ran one or two degrees hotter than average and most had grown an inch or two, they showed no signs of phasing again.

The wolf was well and truly out of the bag now and the council was speaking with everyone about everything.

Jacob had taken the reins of control, while Sam remained with Bella. He, Paul, Emily and the white wolf with strange glacier blue eyes never leaving her side. Sam and Jacob seemed to both hold Alpha power though as the pack took orders from Sam at his home while Jake dealt with the tribe and his newfound chiefdom. The tribe might not have had a real chief for years but it seemed they would return to many of the old ways. The secrets of the pack were to be maintained and the pack supported by all the tribe.

Rylan and Jack moved into Paul's house, while he and Emily stayed with Bella. Outsiders were not welcomed on tribe lands while things were being sorted out, except for the newly welcomed Cullen's who carefully monitored Sam and Bella as well as all the other tribe members who had so briefly become pack.

The autumn turned to winter and Rosalie became pregnant. She cried over Bella and begged her to wake up to see the miracle she had given them.

All of the former Cullen's and several of the former vampires they had known in North America trekked to the reservation with gifts. We knew many out there would not view the loss of their vampire lives a gift but we were surprised at how many did.

They came, gave her a gift, and settled into Forks to wait for her to wake. The Cullen's stayed on the reservation.

The snow began to fall and Bella lay still. The white wolf ever at her side, life continued on around their sleeping Luna.

The pack feared the Volturi but it seemed the Volturi feared what had occurred in La Push and ordered that none of the guard step foot in North America at least for the time being. They also offered Carlisle and the other newly humanized vampires to come to Italy and change again. None who came here took the option. They were grateful for humanity.

In the middle of January, Lore finally came to see Bella; she came with the long absent Niki who immediately curled up next to the white wolf we were all calling Ghost for her pure white coat and the silent way she moved the few times she left Bella's side.

Most people were loosing hope that Bella would ever wake up.

Lore went into the room for several hours and when she came out, she sat at the table with the pack.

"She'll return to you." Lore spoke quietly but in the silence of the room, she was easily heard.

"When?" Sam asked, fear and sadness filling his voice.

"When she is able."

Paul's fist slammed onto the table, "When!" He demanded. "When will that be?"

Lore shook her head, her eyes filling with tears, "You cannot comprehend what she has done."

"Then explain it." Rosalie spat.

"She expelled the venom not just from her mate but from this realm."

"Vampire's still exist around the world." Carlisle informed her.

"Yes, her power is great but not so limitless as to do what it tried to."

"So she's what? Tapped out?" The pixie asked.

"She is resting." Lore asked.

"How do we make her better?" Emmett hugged his pregnant wife to him.

"She can be taken across the veil where her people will be able to heal her."

"Then take her!" Rosalie demanded.

"What about the Sidhe?" Jasper, ever the strategist, thinking four steps ahead.

"She is marked, she can only have Sam's children." Emily told him.

"They would not be able to breed her but they would still try to kill her, like they did her aunt." Lore told them.

"So what do we do?" Sam looked at her, his eyes pleading.

"You do what her people said to do."

"Wait." Jared spoke up. "We wait and keep faith."

Lore nodded, "Bella will wake. Until she does, the world is changed, the tribe is changed and we must continue on."

We did exactly that. Sam was a shell; he spent hours sitting with Bella and slept at her side every night. We all spent hours with her, talking to her, sharing everything with us. No one spent more time by her side than Sam and Paul, but Rosalie was a close third. The blonde woman would sit for hours talking about the pregnancy and baby names, she would brush out Bella's long silky, silver hair or read to her, only leaving when Sam came.

Paul and Emily sold the Cullen's his house and bought the cottage closest to Sam and Bella. All the pack bought up the area surrounding them. The properties readily sold by the tribe who did all they could to help the pack that had secretly protected them for so long.

The world was changed, Bella had changed it but we could not live while she slept, we only existed. We continued on, day after day, waiting for our Luna, our Alpha's mate to return to us, trusting that she would, one day, wake as Lore and the elves in the woods had promised.

**A/N**

**So, this is the last chapter. I hope you have enjoyed the story. Please don't hurt me for the end. I know it's sad but its not really over, I am planning a sequel just not right away. Sorry. Let me know your thoughts on the story over all, did I do it justice? Was the idea a good one? Did you hate something or love something in particular? Please let me know so I have ideas for the next one. Thank you so much for sticking with me.**

**A/N 2**

**I am debating between a Paul and Bella story or a Bella and Jasper story next. Let me know what you all would prefer. **


	47. Sequel

**Hey all – everyone seemed so concerned about the ending. No the story isn't over. I need a little break to clear my head a bit and plot the rest of the sequel but when I say I wont be posting it right away I mean a few weeks not months. I am to attached to them to let things lie and I have so many plans for what comes next. I just need to map it out a bit, so that it works with what I want, though I imagine it will take on a bit of a life as this one did, I need the basic plan so I don't contradict myself or write myself into a corner. I have several other stories started and ideas mapped out. I just need to focus on one and get it up so you will have something to read while I work out the sequel of Alpha's Mate. I am also deliberating titles. Here is a tiny part to warm your hearts with the knowledge that I am still writing Luna Rising (working title might change) and it will be posted soon-ish. Thanks again for sticking with me and sending all the reviews. I really do appreciate them.**

Rosalie screamed as the contraction ripped through her body. It was to early. She wasn't due for weeks.

"What do we do?" Emily looked worried from Rosalie to Kim. "How far are her mate and the doctor?"

"Ten minutes."

"I don't think she's going to wait for him." Kim spoke up as liquid gushed out of Rosalie.

"Fuck!" Rosalie screamed, swearing at the same time as Emily and Kim.

"Ok, shit, breathe." I coached my sister. "Um, he, he, who," I breathed in and out. Girl's night, what a dumb fucking idea, why had I thought of it again?

"Alice?" Kim handed me a towel and took Rosalie's other hand.

"Fuck me!" Esme cursed. Our heads shot up, she never swore, we turned our heads to look at her but all of us stalled at the sight before us.

Niki and Ghost sat at the heals of the beautiful, silver-haired woman with pale green emerald and gold eyes who had been sleeping the last eight months, Bella, our Luna.

We watched as her silvery hair lightened to platinum and then golden blonde. It still shone like her eyes, more that a normal human's ever could.

"You must push now." Her voice was musical but we all just stared at her as she walked towards us, even Rosalie who was panting with the pain still.

The two wolves moved with her, stopping just behind her as she knelt beside Rosalie. "With the next contraction, you must push." She took Rosalie's hand and squeezed gently.

We all just stared at her until Rosalie screamed again. Then we rushed to help.

The baby came quickly, Belle Selene McCarty, named for the woman helping to birth her, the woman who had made her existence possible.

They were all sitting together on the kitchen floor when Emmett crashed inside, Carlisle, Sam, Paul, Jared and Jasper at his heals.

They stopped, running into each other as they saw what was before them. Rosalie was holding a tiny baby girl and crying into Bella's shoulder.

Bella. She was awake.


	48. Luna Rising

**THE SEQUEL IS UP! Look for Luna Rising on my profile.**

**The first chapter is just a small expanded chapter of the preview but the second will be up tomorrow. Maybe later tonight. I'm working on editing it now. Hope you all enjoy it! **

**Please Review!**


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